Glittering Shadows (31 page)

He coughed like he’d swallowed his cocoa wrong. “I…I want to say that when we danced, that one night, I know we were both enchanted. I was trying to figure out what Ingrid had
done to you—that is, I had a sense of dread even though I couldn’t think straight to place it.”

“I remembered you mentioned feeling haunted.”

“Yes. Well—I just want to say, I liked dancing with you. And I’m always happy to see you.”

She looked at him shyly, pleased that he was flustered.

He continued, “I know I threw a lot at you as soon as you lost your hand, suggesting you go back to work in public. I thought about when I lost my leg and I hid in my room and moped for
some months. I didn’t feel better until I started doing things again. Maybe it was presumptuous of me—”

“No, you were right,” she said. “It helps to have a goal.”

“Good.” He gazed at her a moment, and shifted his hand a little closer, like he was thinking of touching her face. “Thea, I—”

She smiled a little. “Sebastian…”

“I think Freddy is a good sort. We have a lot in common. And I certainly wouldn’t want to get on his bad side, with powers like his. I don’t want to say anything to you when
I’m not sure where you stand with him.”

She looked down. “I did have feelings for him. I mean, I still do. But it’s different with you.” She had never liked Freddy so much that she felt sick to her stomach like she
did now.

Sebastian put down his mug, and then he took hers and put it down, too. Thea’s skin tingled as he leaned in closer and kissed her. He slid his fingers into her hair and around her back,
and his warm mouth met hers. Her body seemed to know just what to do even though she’d never kissed anyone like this before. Her leg draped over his knee, and he leaned into her, his weight
comforting as she fell back against the arm of the couch. She ran her palm across his rough cheek and then she clutched the dark hair that fell, a little too long for fashion, to his collar. This
felt so wonderful it frightened her.

She had already lost so much.

When he pulled back, her mouth felt bruised. He looked at her, a wicked spark in his eyes. “You…”

“Me? You started it.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“You’ve probably kissed a lot of girls like that before, when you were Mr. Ski Daredevil.”

“Nah. I’m actually shy with girls.”

“I can’t tell.”

“Well, Mr. Ski Daredevil was only sixteen. I didn’t know how to make a move. And when you’re heir to the throne, girls—and their mothers—are often scheming to get
close to you.…”

“I see,” she said, sobered by the reminder of his position.

“I don’t want that anymore,” he said softly. “I’m not sure I even want to unite the countries and lead them. That was Ingrid. She whispered those things in my
ear.”

“Really? But you seem to genuinely like being a leader.”

“I do. I like the
work
. That’s why I work too much. I am genuinely interested in how the UWP is currently handling the rebuilding of government, and thinking about what I want
to do differently, and strategizing the impending war. But the position? That I hate.” He rubbed his face like he was trying to snap out of a bad dream. “I didn’t think I’d
admit that to anyone. Don’t talk about this.”

“Never.”

“If so many people weren’t counting on me…” He leaned back, but slung his arm around her. “Well, I can’t back out now.”

“You
could
,” Thea said. “You’re not at the forefront right now. Why not just support the UWP? Stick with political writing?”

“I’m fickle, Thea. I want to call the shots, I just don’t want the attention. Sometimes I feel like Prince Rupert is another person who has been hunting me down for years, and
I never know when he might find me.”

“Sometimes anticipation is the worst part, though. It’s like going to work after losing a hand. At least, I hope the anticipation is worse.”

“It is, I promise. You’re right. We build up these things in our minds.” He took her left arm and held it to his chest, much the same way Freddy had. This brought back a new
surge of guilt and worry. She didn’t want Freddy to be hurt. She knew that day when he came back and found out what had happened, he had reached for her arm because he wanted her to know he
still found her beautiful. Freddy was kind and brave and empathetic and strong, and she didn’t know why he paled next to Sebastian. She felt like a terrible person, especially for having
kissed him. It would be a little easier had she not made that bold move.

“Sebastian…” She drew back. “I am worried about Freddy. He lost everything. I’m afraid if he loses me, too—”

“You won’t do him any favors by stringing him along.”

“I know. But I’ve led him to believe that I just can’t think about relationships now. I feel like…if we could find his parents, at least. I don’t want to be so
cruel as to carry on with you right in front of him when he has no one else.”

Sebastian made a noise of frustration. “You’re right. I can make inquiries about his parents. I don’t think they’ll be a substitute for you, though.”

S
tanding in front of the mirror, Thea tucked her left arm behind her.

Now you look the part.
For her first night at work, Thea wore a dark crimson dress with black buttons, paired with a plain black hat with an asymmetrical brim in the new style that fitted
close to the head and curved around the forehead, both darker than her usual clothes. She had done her makeup a little darker, too, to match the image of Café Scorpio.

But when she brought her left arm forward again, the hook was all she could see. She couldn’t imagine her customers’ eyes would be any more forgiving.

Remember your first day at the Telephone Club?
She had never had a beau, just that one school dance with a boy named Peter—she’d liked him but had not talked much because she
didn’t want him to know about her home life. And suddenly, there she was, talking to dozens of strange men. Some of them leered or said scandalous things. Her fellow waitresses seemed so
worldly wise.

This still isn’t the same,
she thought, a lump rising in her throat. She had learned to act worldly wise. But she could never get her hand back. She rubbed her left arm, regarding
the prosthetic. Before Mr. Huber brought the hook, she had imagined some monster’s claw, but the reality was practical, almost dainty in comparison to her imagination.

Of all the things I’ve faced, why does having people stare at me seem the hardest?
It certainly wasn’t the worst. She would give up her other hand to have her father back.
And you wouldn’t want to hide away forever.

She faced the mirror again, keeping both arms in view. This job was far different than the Telephone Club, anyway. She wasn’t there to be pretty, but to wheedle out as much information
from patrons as she could. Perhaps if people asked about her injury, she could use her story to get them to confide in her. A real spy would use every angle at her disposal. This was her first step
toward a life that mattered, a life that went far beyond serving drinks in a cute dress.

She grabbed her purse and hurried to the door before she lost her resolve.

Freddy and Sebastian were hanging around downstairs. She smiled nervously. Sebastian winked at her.

“Thea,” Freddy said, catching up with her as she was leaving. “I just have to say…you look amazing.”

“Thanks. Really.” She hesitated, trying to think what to say. “Too bad I’m going to ruin it when I put my coat on.” The only coats she’d been able to find at
the stores were hideous, so she was now the proud owner of a green-and-gold plaid coat that didn’t match anything.

“Be careful out there,” he said.

“Sebastian’s sending a guard to escort me there and back.”

He nodded. “Good luck.”

Sebastian’s right. I can’t string him along. But I can’t tell him I like him less. What possible way could I say that? He already has to deal with his awful magic; he
can’t even leave the house.

She had to stop thinking about it.

A light snowfall had just ended, and the dirty piles from prior days surrounded the sidewalks. Thea drew fresh air into her lungs, savoring the sharp cold. A few young people were milling about
on the street, looking at the house. They were probably hoping to see Marlis. Every day people came around wanting to see her with their own eyes, after all the posters and pamphlets and
rumors.

But it was a little eerie how empty the city still was only days before the winter holidays. Normally people would fill the sidewalks to shop the markets and ice-skate on the river, and windows
would glow with light from evening parties. A lot of the wealthier people, the ones with second homes in the country, had moved out of the city until the situation was more secure.

Nor was Lampenlight the place it had been. The streetlamps shone, but all the bright, dancing neon signs that had once defined this strip of the city were out, thanks to the harsh new decrees on
electricity usage. The dancing legs over the Demimonde Club were now just severed limbs looming dark over the building. The moon, for once, was bright in Lampenlight, no longer drowned by human
invention.

Café Scorpio was closer to the north end of the district than the Telephone Club, occupying the basement of a narrow brick building. Incense burners hung from brass poles on either side
of the entrance, sending wisps of smoke up into the bluish light of dusk.

Thea walked into a small foyer with an empty hostess desk. A beaded curtain suggested exotic wonders beyond. Lamps with frosted globe shades set in intricate iron mounts ran along the wall, and
the walls themselves were made of wooden panels with equally ornate edgework. Thea pulled the bell marked “For Service.” The proprietress, Miss Helm, had asked her to come early for
orientation, so the building was quiet.

The beads clinked softly as Miss Helm stepped through them, her hair a cloud of black frizz streaked with white. Heavy black kohl ringed her eyes, and pale makeup didn’t quite hide the
wrinkles around her mouth. Her dress was plain black but cut unusually, with a capelet and a sharp ruffle over each shoulder.

“Hello,” Thea said a little warily. “I’m Thea Holder, here about the job.”

“Yes, yes. I know all about you from Mr. Hirsch.” Miss Helm motioned her into the back.

“Good things, I hope,” Thea said, trying to sound lighthearted.

“You might be his agent, but I’m still going to treat you like any of my girls.”

“I mean to take the job seriously,” Thea said. “Did he tell you I worked at the Telephone Club for a year?”

“Oh I wouldn’t have obliged him if you didn’t have any experience. And we’re never as busy as
that
place.” Miss Helm plainly didn’t think much of the
Telephone Club. “How about your hand? Mr. Hirsch also warned me you might be self-conscious.”

“He certainly had a lot to say about me.”

“He did.” Miss Helm smiled, making Thea wish she knew precisely what he had said. “But I want to assure you that I treat my girls like family. If anyone is cruel to you,
I’ll show them the door.”

“I hope it isn’t necessary,” Thea said, feeling jittery again.

“Well, just know that I delight in yelling at people, when warranted. Now, I need to run the rules by you, and then I’ll show you around the dining room.”

The rules were nothing unexpected—codes of dress and conduct. Café Scorpio was much smaller than the Telephone Club: Not even fifty tables filled the floor, and three private rooms
stood to the side. There was no dance floor or band pit. The room was so poorly lit, Thea worried she might stumble into things.

“With the power rations we can only light the stage and the exits,” Miss Helm said. “But before we open, the waitresses light the candles on every table. And through these
doors are the kitchens—I’ll give you a menu. A lot of things simply aren’t available anymore, I’m afraid. Lately our most popular item is a potato soup. Can you manage the
plates and such?” Miss Helm asked, gesturing to Thea’s hook. “I know you’ve had a few weeks by now, but I’m not sure how difficult—”

“I’ll manage.”

Miss Helm walked her through a food and drink order, and just as she had practiced at home, she held the tray between her left elbow and the edge of the hook, but she wondered how it would all
go when she had hungry people staring at her, jostling, some of them tipsy.