Glow (36 page)

She stood there, her shoulders slumped and her head lowered. After a moment, she straightened her spine, lifted her head, and walked out of the room. He wasn't surprised she did it, necessarily. He knew her well.

That didn't stop it from hurting like fire.

He just stood there, feeling hollowed out in matter of minutes. Eventually, he noticed that he held something.

He separated the paper from two staples and tilted the makeshift envelope. Alan Durand's silver chased lighter landed in his hand. He carefully opened the piece of paper. She'd only written two sentences.

It's from both of us, Alan and me. You will
always
be my knight in shining armor.

THREE WEEKS LATER

D
oby frisked around her legs as she tried to help Maggie carry in the groceries.

“Cut it out, Doby,” Maggie scolded as she heaved multiple bags on the kitchen counter. “You're going to put the girl back in the hospital, tripping her up that way. Silly dog, come here.”

Alice laughed as Maggie's beckoning cleared the path for her. “I'm not that fragile anymore. Thank God. How did the test go?” she asked, referring to an exam Maggie gave her grad school class in statistics. Alice had helped her make up the test.

“I haven't even looked at them yet. I'll get to them tonight,” Maggie said, putting away a gallon of milk.

“I'll grade them for you,” Alice said, lifting some bananas out of a bag. “My bruises are almost faded, so I'd be happy to teach a few classes for you early next week, too, if you like. Earn my keep.”

She looked around when the refrigerator door closed with a loud thump. Maggie regarded her solemnly. “What's wrong?” Alice asked uneasily. “I was your grad assistant, I used to teach a couple of your classes every semester. Do you think I'd be out of practice?”

“Of course not. But I already have a grad assistant. You aren't a grad student anymore. You graduated with top honors and you've been offered a position at Durand Enterprises by that Stalwalter guy. If you don't want to work for him, I'm sure there are
plenty of other companies that would give you a spot. And of course, according to some reliable accounts, you
own
Durand Enterprises,” she added drolly. “You've sort of moved past grading papers and doing my least favorite lectures, Alice.”

“But this is just a temporary thing. I wanted to help out while I was here with you, that's all,” Alice said, frowning.

Maggie sighed and stepped toward her. “And I appreciate it. But you're here as a friend. You don't have to
work
for me. You needed time and space to heal and figure things out.”

“So you've decided my time is up, huh?” Alice asked with a dry laugh. “Are you kicking me out?” she asked, smiling despite her uneasiness at the turn of the conversation.

“No. I'm just . . .” Maggie shrugged and made a helpless sound. “Prodding you a little?”

Alice exhaled and leaned against the kitchen counter, her arms crossed beneath her breasts.

“I saw an article in the
Tribune
this morning about the Durand Enterprises press conference next Friday. I assume you know about it?” Maggie said.

Alice nodded mutely. She'd suspected Maggie would see the article.

“And you weren't going to tell me about it?”

“I . . . I didn't know how to,” Alice said, frustrated because she felt guilty for not being forthcoming with Maggie. She felt like she had this huge, enormous thing inside her, and she wanted to get it out. Problem was, she didn't know how to expel it properly. She was like an overdue mother desperate for relief, bursting and helpless in the face of nature.

“
Wait
. Are you saying what I think you're saying? Did you get the test results?” Maggie asked tensely.

“I got them,” Alice said, studying the tile floor. She'd gotten the call from the genetics lab two days ago.

“And?”

She met Maggie's gaze hesitantly.

“As it turns out . . . I'm a miracle after all.”

Just saying it caused shivers to rush down her arms. Her awed reaction hadn't lessened any since she'd first given the news to both Special Agent Clayton and Charlie Towsen.

“You're Alan and Lynn Durand's biological daughter.”

“It would seem so,” she said, shrugging disbelievingly.

“
Wow
. Does Dylan know?” Maggie asked cautiously after a pause.

Alice swallowed. “I would think he does.”

“But you don't know for sure?”

“I told Charlie Towsen the news and e-mailed a copy of the lab report. Dylan is Charlie's boss. I'm sure Towsen told him.” She inhaled and straightened, starting to unload groceries again because she knew what Maggie was going to say next and she needed a distraction.

“Dylan hasn't called?” Maggie asked, sounding a little confused.

“No,” she replied briskly, putting a loaf of bread in the bin and slamming the door down too hard. “But I asked him only to call me in case of an emergency.”

Besides which, he's probably so furious at me that he's avoiding contact at all costs.

“He doesn't consider the fact that you're definitely Alan and Lynn's child major enough news? Or Kehoe pleading guilty not only to the kidnapping, but to giving the order to have you murdered twenty years ago, or attempting to kill you recently? That doesn't qualify as serious enough information for him to call?”

“You know that Clayton told me all about that before the story broke on the news,” Alice said, moving mechanically and averting her gaze from Maggie's. Both Clayton and Towsen had actually been great about keeping in contact and filling her in on all the minutia of unfolding events.

She'd been disbelieving and relieved to the point of physical weakness when she'd learned that Kehoe wasn't going to drag this tragedy out further into a trial. It still seemed impossible to believe, that the trauma he'd caused Alan, Lynn, and Alice herself, was finally going to come to an end. The news had especially been welcome because several days after she'd arrived at Maggie's, Agent Clayton told her that Sissy and two of her uncles—Tim and Christopher—were in FBI custody. She was going to have to testify at Sissy's trial, a fact that never ceased to get Alice's heart beating into anxious overtime.

She had no news of Al or her other uncles, but Alice knew there were warrants out for their arrests. There was a good possibility that insufficient evidence would allow them to go free but the future was highly uncertain when it came to the Reeds. She'd cried herself silently to sleep for two nights in a row after finding out about their arrests, unsettled enough by the news. But more than that, she'd been grieving the loss of the only person who might understand her ambivalence and misery when it came to the idea of the Reeds going to prison because of her: Dylan.

As for Kehoe, Alice understood from Special Agent Clayton that he was a broken man. After he'd recovered enough to be interrogated by the FBI, the first thing—and for a while, the
only
thing—he confessed to was betraying Lynn Durand years ago. Strangely enough, he confessed to killing her as well, although it came out later in interrogation that what he'd told investigators is what he'd told Alice. He'd goaded Lynn into suicide with the news that Addie was definitely dead.

Apparently, Kehoe was capable of guilt, and it had caught up to him in the end. Alice had to agree with Kehoe's confession: He might as well have thrown Lynn over that bluff, by taunting her until she jumped. She had also received the news from Clayton that Kehoe had been put on suicide watch after he'd attempted to
hang himself in his cell. Alice wasn't necessarily surprised, given the things he'd said to her that night.

Kehoe had been obsessed with Lynn, consumed by the idea of making her as miserable as he was without her in his life. When he'd been caught, his remorse, grief, and guilt crashed into him. All he seemed to be able to do was confess his sins toward Lynn Durand over and over. It'd taken the agents time and patience to eventually get him emotionally steady enough to admit to his crimes against Addie.

Against Alice.

Maybe it was possible for a man like Kehoe to repent. Kehoe certainly seemed consumed by guilt. Alice didn't pretend to know the answers. She was only thankful that
something
had urged Sebastian Kehoe to confess and end this nightmare after nearly twenty-five years.

“And yes, I'm
positive
Dylan knows about the genetic testing results,” Alice told Maggie presently, pulling herself out of her thoughts.

“How come?”

“Because I know Dylan,” she said, thumping a bag of potatoes on the counter. “And because that press conference next week in Morgantown was organized by him after I gave Charlie Towsen the results. Everything is coming to a head now that Kehoe has made his plea, and his sentencing is scheduled.”

“You'll be going to that, right?” Maggie asked softly.

Alice nodded. She was expected to testify about Kehoe's attack; she would have to face him in a courtroom. Her input would help the judge make his decision on Kehoe's punishment. Not just the technical details, either. The judge would want to know what the kidnapping and attack had meant to her emotionally, the impact of Kehoe's crime on her entire life . . . what Sebastian Kehoe had taken from her . . .

. . . What he had cost her.

When this had all been explained to her, Alice took on the task of tallying that price somberly.

It did something to a person, being asked to put an actual weight on one man's actions. What would her life be like if Sebastian Kehoe hadn't plotted against her and the Durands in cold blood twenty years ago?

While soul-searching those answers in solitude, Alice had realized there were losses and costs she'd never suspected. It'd hurt realizing that, but it'd cleansed her somehow, too. It'd started her true healing and built the beginnings of a solid bridge between the child she'd been and the woman she was now . . . between Addie and Alice.

“Dylan will be testifying, too. And Thad. It's happening the Monday after the press conference,” she told Maggie.

“And Dylan planned this press conference?”

“Yeah. Towsen told me all about it. The FBI will be making a brief statement, the U.S. Attorney's office will take questions about Kehoe and sentencing, Dylan will speak, as well, on behalf of Durand . . .” She tipped a pound of sugar onto a cabinet shelf. “And I will.”

“You're actually going?” Maggie asked in a hushed tone.

Alice placed both her hands on the edge of the counter, her back still to Maggie.

“I don't really see that I have much of a choice anymore,” she said. “See . . . despite the fact that you and Dylan both think I'm just burying my head in the sand lately—”

“I didn't mean that,” Maggie said earnestly. “I don't think Dylan thinks that either, to be honest.”

“I
have
been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do with my life,” Alice continued shakily.

“What did you decide? Are you going to accept that job offer
from Jason Stalwalter in New York? He sure seems eager at the idea of having you.”

Alice gave a bark of laughter. “A memo has gone out to the top executives at Durand about Adelaide Durand's return. I'm sure Stalwalter would be very eager to have Alan Durand's daughter working in his group.”

“It would give him the opportunity to cozy up to the owner of the company,” Maggie added dryly. “But in all fairness, Stalwalter didn't know any of that when he offered you the job, did he? He was just impressed by some work you did for Dylan . . . by you in general. And he can't be
too
much of an ass kisser. He's persisted in offering you a position, even though I'll bet Dylan is royally pissed at him for trying to lure you away to New York.”

“Yeah. I was just kidding. Stalwalter seems decent.”

“So . . . you are going to go with Stalwalter, then?”

“No,” Alice said softly. She opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. “When I go to Morgantown for the press conference . . . I'm going for good. I'm going to ask to be assigned as a junior executive in the marketing division at Durand's headquarters. If not there, I'll go anywhere they can use me. I want to discover as much about the company as I can. Alan poured his sweat and tears into that company. By learning it . . . I'll learn
him
.”

She turned around at the loud sound of a single clap. Maggie's two hands were still pressed together. She pressed them against her chest and beamed at Alice. It was like she'd been waiting for Alice to say those exact words every minute for the past three weeks.

“I think Morgantown is my home,” Alice admitted tremulously. “Not because of Durand Enterprises, or because of Alan and Lynn. Because Dylan is there.”

Compassion filled Maggie's face. She stepped forward and gave Alice a big hug. Alice squeezed her back, hard.

“Of course, Dylan probably doesn't want anything to do with me,” she mumbled against Maggie's shoulder. “He probably thinks I'm a big fat coward. I hope I can make him understand—” She broke off when her voice caught. Maggie patted her briskly on her shoulder blade. She leaned back. Alice recognized her game face.

“I had to tell you once, before you went into a meeting with Dylan Fall, that you needed to stiffen up the spine and just do what's necessary. I'll tell you that again,” she said with mock severity, referring to that fateful interview Alice'd had with Dylan months ago. They shared a smile. That interview felt like a lifetime ago to her. It seemed like she'd been turned inside out since that time, like she was the same person, but forever different, too. “Like I told you before, you've got to trust in yourself,” Maggie continued. “But you're a world luckier than you were last spring, Alice. Because now, you've got Dylan to trust, too.”

“I was lying to myself, so I was lying to him, too. What kind of a person am I, that I would choose to believe in doubt and guilt and fear, and not this amazing thing between us? I told him I didn't trust him,” Alice admitted, that simple, harsh truth piercing her yet again.

“Ah, honey,” Maggie said, touching her cheek. “That's because you didn't know what trust was.”

*   *   *

ALICE
arrived at Camp Durand before sunrise that Friday. The sound of the rental car wheels crackling against the gravel filled her ears. A sense of poignant nostalgia went through her as she peered through the window. The camp was lit precisely like it had been when camp was in progress, so she could make out familiar landmarks. Everything seemed so quiet and empty though, so in opposition to the bustle and laughter and the sense of purpose she'd felt while she was there.