Goddess for Hire (8 page)

I WAS LATE
to Aunt Gayatri's dinner party.

A taboo on the same level as eating a cow…not that I worshipped cows, but I did meet a chick from Minnesota who did, and she wasn't even Hindu.

The party was in full swing.

Across the room my mom was shooting me looks cold enough to make my teeth hurt. But I didn't care. I'd just defeated a crazed machine-gun-wielding socialite. I would have taken on the gang members in Compton, too, if they hadn't surrendered before I got there.

Still, I was feeling pretty good.

The hired bartender handed me a dirty vodka martini, and I was feeling even better.

There were three things you could count on at an Indian party. One, a fully stocked bar, two, enough catered food to feed an army, and three, Bose speakers blasting the latest Bollywood hits.

But that didn't make these get-togethers enjoyable.

Call me prejudiced, but I just don't get along with people from my ethnic gene pool.

Most Indian guys are mama's boys who, even after the age of thirty, are still whipping out their SAT scores at parties. Indian chicks are compulsively competitive. They may go to Ivy League schools, dye their hair, and earn their own income, but deep down inside they're all after the same high-scoring SAT boys.

My mom must have grown cross-eyed from shooting me dirty looks because she marched over. “Why aren't you wearing Indian clothes?” she demanded. “That top is see-through.”

“It's not see-through, it's Ce-line.” I pointed out. “And you know it shows far less flesh than a sari.”

“Why did you leave Tahir at the restaurant?” Before I could see if the Goddess Gaze worked on her, she added, “Thank God Nadia was there lunching with a friend. She brought Tahir home.”

“Nadia?” I couldn't keep the disgust from creeping into my voice. Well I could, but why the hell should I? I quickly surveyed the room, and, sure enough, Nadia and Tahir were outside on the patio. My eyes narrowed.

Nadia was my cousin, and my mortal enemy, the only other Mehra girl, other than me, who wasn't married. You'd think that would bring us together.

Not.

Nadia was a nephrologist. Whatever that meant. She'd just moved back to Southern California after abruptly leaving New York. Rumors hinted at a failed re
lationship, but I personally thought it was by mayoral decree.

As I watched, Nadia leaned over and flirtatiously put her hand on Tahir's arm, giggling up at him over the rim of her drink. The embroidered white sari was pretty, but wrapped so tightly around her figure I was surprised she wasn't keeling over in a perpetual faint. Her black hair was cut short in a sleek, shiny bob. In my opinion her eyes were too wide and her lips too small, but I could see how some men would find her attractive—if they fancied a demented ethnic version of Betty Boop.

To my annoyance, Tahir seemed to be enjoying the attention. He was smiling and nodding down at her. My hands closed tightly on the stem of my glass. Because all the guests thought Tahir and I were semiengaged, it was hopelessly disrespectful that Nadia should flirt with him—and he should like it—right under my nose.

“I'll be right back,” I said to my mom.

Nadia smiled bitchily as I came through the glass doors and onto the patio. “Well, look who finally arrived.”

I responded with a thousand watts of my own bitchiness, and glanced over at Tahir. His expression was unreadable, his face cold. I felt a slight pang of regret; I'd actually started to like the guy.

“Maya's sort of the family pet project.” Nadia giggled. “We all keep waiting for her to grow up and find herself.”

Ho! She did not just say that!

I toyed with the green olive in my glass. “You know,
Nadia, I heard the most illuminating bit of information the other day. That medical school you supposedly went to in the Caribbean? It's actually a voodoo learning center.” My eyes widened. “Gee, I hope the AMA doesn't find out about that.”

Tahir cleared his throat. “If you ladies will excuse me.” He brushed by me as he left.

“Sure,” Nadia smiled, then turned toward me, her eyes hardening. “What the hell's your problem?”

“Oh I'm sorry, did I interrupt a precious moment between you and my semifiancé?”

Nadia sneered. “Oh right, like the two of you are really happening. You dumped him at the restaurant, and from what I hear, it's not the first time.”

I downed my drink and set the glass aside. “Just because your life sucks, don't take it out on me.”

Nadia pressed a hand to her chest. “My life sucks? I'm not thirty, living off my parents, with no career to speak of, and no friends. I'm a successful nephrologist—”

I interrupted. “What is that actually?”

“It's very complicated. It deals with nephrology.” I rolled my eyes, and she continued furious, “I'm twenty-eight. I'm financially independent—”

“Your parents paid for your education, they paid for your apartment in Manhattan, and now they're paying for your condo in Redondo—”

“It's an investment,” Nadia snapped.

“And it rhymes.” I turned away. For a moment I was struck by a feeling of loneliness so powerful, it nearly
brought tears to my eyes. It was true. I didn't have friends. I had shopping buddies. Friendship based on fashion trends and platinum credit. I couldn't imagine telling any one of them what I was going through.

One of my ex-boyfriends, Mark Carter, still lived in the area. He was a good listener, and I'd toyed with the idea of calling him. But then I remembered why we'd broken up. Mark had taken me over to meet his parents and have Sunday dinner with them. The first thing his mother said after meeting me was, “I'm surprised you speak English so well.” I didn't dump Mark because of his parents. I dumped him because he didn't correct them.

So Nadia was right. Didn't mean she was getting off the hook though.

I took a shaky breath and tried to get a grip. No one messed with the goddess.

I smiled and turned back to face her. “Look up and watch.”

I really only had to close my eyes for a second.

Veins of lightning spread through the cloudless sky.

Nadia's mouth dropped open, and she stared at me.

I stepped as close to her as I could without gagging. “There's more where that came from.” Then I tossed my hair and strode back into the house.

 

Now it was Tahir's turn.

I spied him standing in the center of a group of men, all of whom were visibly sucking in their guts and fin
gering their wallets. Poor lads, without a doubt Tahir's was still bigger…

Before I could head over, though, I heard my name being called. Aunt Gayatri and Aunt Dimple were bearing down on me like two scud missiles on a poorly defended target.

Aunt Gayatri was tall and thin with patrician features. Her long black hair was pulled back in an elegant French twist. She wore a salwaar kameez, composed of a long shirt and loose, flowing pants. Aunt Dimple was wearing a salwaar kameez, too, but instead of flowing, the shirt bunched up around her stomach and hips.

Damn! What did they want?

“Hi.” I hugged both my aunts, then aimed what I hoped was a bright smile at Aunt Gayatri. “Thanks for throwing this great party.”

Her smile was cool and assessing. “What do you think of Tahir?”

Aunt Dimple grabbed my arm and pressed me to her side. “Oh, Maya loves him, I can already tell. And why shouldn't she? The man is sweeter than an Alphonso mango and twice as juicy.”

Eww.

Aunt Gayatri was studying me. “Women who have children before thirty decrease their risk of breast cancer. Since you're past the deadline, I suggest a very short engagement and frequent sexual activity to ensure you become pregnant the first month of marriage. Are you on the pill?”

More eww!

Both my aunts had at least one grandchild apiece and therefore had nothing better to do than focus on my reproductive abilities. I needed the attention off me. “You know Nadia is still single.”

Aunt Gayatri would not be distracted. “Nadia is younger than you and has assured me she will be engaged by the end of the year.”

I spotted Nadia in a corner, half-listening to the conversation around her, practically undressing Tahir with her eyes.

Not a bad idea…

I followed her gaze, and my body temperature rose ten degrees.

“Maya's aroused, I recognize the signs,” Aunt Gayatri said in a satisfied voice. “No doubt her inner labia have begun to swell and darken in color.”

I mentally replaced Tahir's clothes and found both my aunts watching me with identical expressions of approval.

Aunt Dimple reached up and kissed me on the cheek. “I'll call Tahir's mother to set a date.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Go turn that mango into a mango shake.”

Mortified beyond belief, I watched them walk away.

 

I continued on my course toward Tahir and laid my hand on his arm. He flinched.

Okay, that was weird.

“Can I talk to you?” He seemed about to say no. “Please,” I added.

“Fine.”

“Outside?”

He nodded and followed me. I returned to the secluded patio area, but when I turned around he wasn't there. I spied him at the buffet table.

I walked over. “Hey, I thought we were gonna talk?”

He was heaping his plate with tandoori chicken, samosas, and two kinds of chutney, a sweet brown and the one I preferred, a spicy green mint. “Since you're undoubtedly about to embark on a long pathetic excuse of some sort, I thought I'd build up my strength.”

“It's not an excuse,” I began, but he'd already walked away. Since he was heading in the right direction, I didn't go after him. Instead, I filled my plate up as well. I took quite a few of the samosas, crispy fried dough on the outside and seasoned potato on the inside.

Tahir was sitting on the wall, skillfully balancing his plate and eating. Not a single crumb dared migrate toward his clothes. I sat down next to him. He moved over.

Well, excuse me! Most men would draw swords to be in his position.

“Listen, before we talk about the fact that my aunts are inside planning our upcoming wedding, I want to apologize. I'm sorry I left you at the restaurant today, but I absolutely had no choice. The reason is something I'm not at liberty to discuss right now, but one day I'll tell you. That's a promise.”

“I understand.” He sounded almost pleasant.

“You do?”

“Of course. I didn't see it before, but now it's quite clear to me. Do you mind, I'll return shortly.”

He returned with more food.

I set my plate aside. “What do you mean you didn't see
it
before?”

Tahir chewed thoughtfully on a piece of lamb kebab. “My friend back in Delhi has a sister. Nice girl, but a bit off somehow. Always disappearing for no reason. Coming up with crazy stories that never made much sense. The family took her to a clinic in Switzerland. I hear she's much better now.”

I stood up, eyes blazing. “You think I'm crazy?”

Tahir glanced up at me nonplussed. “Aren't you? What else could it be? First the airport, then today at lunch—When I first met you I wondered why a girl who's obviously very pretty would need an aunt to find her a boy. Now it makes sense.”

“First of all I never asked my aunt to find me a boy. Second of all, you're single yourself. Does that make you nuts?”

“I'm not single,” he corrected. “I'm unavailable. Women have never been a problem.”

“Right, because you have so many others.”

“You know Nadia made an interesting point. She said you've always been a loner. No one in the family is able to get close to you, not even your brother.”

“You're talking to Nadia about me!” I was so angry, I was probably grinding the cosmetic veneers right off my teeth.

Ugh.

The malevolence hit so suddenly I would have fallen if Tahir hadn't reached out and grabbed me. “What is it?” he demanded.

Evil. Thick and cloying, wrapped around me, I could barely breathe.

I wanted to stay there, wrapped in Tahir's arms. Trust the guy finally to make contact at the worst possible moment. I looked up. His dark eyes were intent on my face, filled with an emotion I would have liked to explore—

But the malevolence was a living, breathing thing. Seeping in through my nostrils and my mouth. Mingling with the taste of the lamb kebab in a very unappetizing way.

I broke away and made a quick scan of the patio.

Evil-free.

I ran into the house.

Nothing.

This wasn't one of the guests.

This was someone new.

I yanked open the front door. The cul-de-sac was empty. Quiet. Mehra cars lined the circle. My H2 stood out like a bright yellow beacon in a sea of subdued Mercedes-Benzes.

I walked into the middle of the street.

By the time I heard the car engine it was too late.

YOU WOULD THINK
that a goddess could just point, click, and send the car off to another realm, or at least New Jersey.

As it was, the black car came zooming at me so fast, I barely had time to fling myself to the side.

The hot air from the exhaust washed over me as the tires screeched to a halt. The door opened, and a male voice hissed, “The personification of evil on Earth must die.”

Was he talking about
moi
?

Before I could get a good look at the driver, the lights from an oncoming car blinded me with their brightness.

Once again I was in the path of an oncoming car.

I shuffled on my belly and managed to move a few inches.

The car missed me…barely.

The driver of the first car sped off.

There I was in the gutter. My clothes torn, Prada shoes scratched beyond repair, my kidneys bruised and dam
aged. Okay, the last bit was a guess, but if anything had happened to my kidneys, it wasn't like Nadia was going to give me one of hers.

Shakily I stood.

The second car parked, and an Indian family spilled out, heading for Aunt Gayatri's, blissfully unaware they'd nearly done in one of the guests of honor.

I found my purse on the street. A few of the younger guests were outside now; they looked at me curiously, but continued with their conversation. No one ventured to ask if I needed assistance.

We really were the apathetic generation.

Hobbling on my broken heel to the car, I unlocked the door and managed to heave myself into the seat.

I called Ram.

“Hello?” he shouted.

I winced and closed my eyes. “I was attacked, outside my aunt's house. Someone wants me dead.” I choked up on the last few words. “He said I was evil and tried to run me over, then I was nearly run over by another car, but that was unintentional.”

After a long pause, Ram said quietly, “I was afraid this would happen.”

“What?” The lump dissolved in an instant.

“Kali is an oft-misunderstood deity. There are those who believe her to be evil. Naturally they will want to obliterate her human incarnate on Earth.”

“Naturally.” I leaned my head against the seat. “So this guy sees me as the Antichrist's Indian cousin?”

“Indeed. Although frankly, I did not expect them to find you so quickly, though it stands to reason—if I were able to discover your whereabouts—”

The words exploded from my mouth. “Why? Did you leave a trail of bread crumbs or something?”

“The
how
is irrelevant at this point. Maya, you must not be so careless with your life. You must be on guard at all times against your enemies. Then and only then will you be able to restore the balance of the Earth.”

Great. Not only did I have Nadia to contend with, but a fanatical Kali-hater. I couldn't decide who was worse.

Okay, the Kali-hater was worse.

But Nadia was still a bitch.