Goddess Interrupted (4 page)

“Just tell me if you want me to be here or not,” I whispered. “Please.”

He lowered his head, as if he wanted to kiss me, but he pulled away at the last second. “What I want should never dictate what you do. I want you to be happy, and so long as you are content, I will be, as well.”

That wasn’t an answer and he knew it, but I deflated and followed Henry into the bedroom, where he put on his shirt. I didn’t want to fight, either. I knew things weren’t going to be perfect, and maybe it was James’s fault for making me doubt Henry to begin with, or maybe it was the reminders of Persephone everywhere I looked, but all I wanted was a little reassurance. A touch. A kiss. A word. Anything.

I brushed my fingers against the jeweled flower in my pocket. That would have to be enough for now.

“I presume Ava showed you the closet,” said Henry. “You may pick out anything you wish to wear, though as the ceremony tonight is considered formal, something dressier than you may prefer would be more appropriate.”

“Right,” I said softly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

I hesitated. Did he love me? Was he still in love with Persephone? Did he even want me to be crowned his queen, or was I simply a stand-in for my sister? Why hadn’t he come to see me while I’d been in Greece with James?

But the courage it took for me to ask those questions had disappeared. I dug deep, trying to find some remnants of it as I imagined the inevitable six months of tension and loneliness if I didn’t, but I came up empty. Every piece of me was drenched in sick fear that Henry didn’t want me here after all, that he’d only gone along with it because my mother and the rest of the council had forced him to. That I would be to Henry what he had been to Persephone: nothing but an obligation. So I copped out.

“Which dress do you prefer?”

As Henry led me into the closet to peruse the rack of formal gowns, I reached for his hand, but the moment I touched him, he pulled away. Instead he held up the silver gown I’d admired before. “What about this?”

Nausea washed over me. Maybe he’d simply reached for the dress and hadn’t realized I’d been reaching for him, but half the time he seemed to know what move I was going to make before I did. No matter how I justified it, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d done it on purpose.

But continuing to fight would only give him an excuse to push me further away, and I’d had enough of that for one day. Tonight, after the ceremony, after everything was settled, then we would talk, and I wouldn’t give him the chance to walk away.

“That’s nice,” I said, forcing a smile. I took the dress, but before I could move toward the changing screen, a loud bang echoed from the bedroom, and I dropped the hanger.

James burst into the closet, stopping short when he saw me standing there with Henry. His shoulders slumped and all the air seemed to leave his lungs, and I could have sworn I saw a flash of resentment on his face. But before I could say a word, it was gone, replaced by the same blankness that had been there earlier.

“There’s been another attack.”

Henry stiffened, and any hope I had of an afternoon with him was gone. He picked up the gown and handed it to me, and one moment he was beside me, and the next he was in the bedroom.

“Tell them to continue preparations for the ceremony,” said Henry as he finished buttoning his shirt. “James and I will return before it starts.”

I stared at him. “You’re going out again? After nearly bleeding to death?”

His lips formed a thin line. “It is my duty. This will not take long.”

“What if whatever hurt you this time makes things even worse?”

“It won’t,” said Henry flatly. “Do as I say and do not worry about it. We will return shortly.”

I huffed indignantly. Do as he said? During my time in Eden, he’d given me orders to keep me safe, but we were supposed to be partners now. Bossing me around wasn’t okay. If that’s the way he was going to play it, then things were going to have to change. I wasn’t a helpless mortal anymore. And it was about time we both started acting like it.

I had no time to voice my protests. James at least had the decency to give me an apologetic look, but Henry’s expression was blank as they both blinked out of sight, leaving me alone in the bedroom. Something wrenched inside of me as I realized those might be the last words I ever heard Henry say, and I clutched the dress so tightly that the fabric threatened to rip.

“I swear,” I muttered to Pogo, “if either of them dies permanently, I am never speaking to them again.”

* * *

I may not have been in Eden anymore, but some things never changed.

Ava helped me get ready, sitting me in front of the vanity and spending nearly an hour doing my hair. I let her apply some foundation and lipstick, but I put my foot down when she tried to attack me with eyeliner and mascara.

“Come on, Kate,” she said with a pout. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You have to look absolutely ravishing, or else I would never forgive myself.”

“Are you saying I need makeup to look beautiful?” I said, and her perfectly done eyes widened.

“No, of course not! I only meant—I don’t want to make you look like a different person. I just want to make you the best
you
that you can be.”

“Will it make a difference in the ceremony?”

“No,” she said reluctantly, and that put an end to that.

I managed to keep my panic subdued for the next half hour or so, but when it came time for the ceremony and Henry and James hadn’t returned, it began to grow until I could no longer ignore it. What if something had happened to them? How would anyone know to help?

“This feels familiar,” said Ava cheerfully as she led me through the corridors that stretched from the private wing to what I could only assume was the public section of the palace. The walls changed from red to cream and gold, and for a moment I forgot we were in the Underworld—at least until we passed a curtained window, and I made the mistake of glancing outside.

It would have been bearable had Henry been there with me, but when Ava stopped me outside a set of double doors that reminded me strongly of the ballroom in Eden Manor, there was still no sign of Henry or James. On the bright side, I finally understood what Ava meant by familiar.

“Did Henry have Eden Manor built like this place?” I said, looking around as we waited. Everything, from the color of the carpet and the walls to the path Ava had taken to lead me here, reminded me of Eden. It wasn’t exactly the same, but it was similar enough that I couldn’t help but remember the night I’d been introduced to the council almost exactly a year ago.

“Some parts,” said Ava. “The palace is bigger, of course, but he kept the important bits.”

At least Henry would never get lost in his own home, no matter how many he had. “Do you think he’ll be back on time?”

“Of course,” she said with a breezy attitude I wished I could trade for the knot in my stomach. “He can’t miss it.”

“James would probably get himself killed so he wouldn’t have to come.” I scowled. “Why do you think they ran off like that before the ceremony?”

Ava stilled, and she didn’t quite meet my eye as she answered. “Because it’s Henry’s job.”

“It couldn’t wait?”

Her painted lips tugged downward into a frown. “You can’t expect Henry to be someone he’s not. He hasn’t been married in a thousand years. It’ll take him some time to get back into it, but when it happens, it’ll be worth it. He’s used to putting his duties first, that’s all.”

Her answer made me feel like an idiot, and my cheeks burned underneath the layer of makeup she’d wrestled onto my face. “He barely touched me,” I said, fighting to keep my voice even. “It’s been six months, and he couldn’t even kiss me hello. I don’t want him to change for me, but it’d be nice if he at least tried to let me know that he was happy to see me. I can’t—” The words caught in my throat, and it took me a second to work my way around the lump that was forming. “I can’t spend half my life with someone who doesn’t love me.”

“Oh, Kate.” Ava hugged me, taking care not to mess up my hair or makeup. “Of course he loves you. He’s never been very good with physical affection, that’s all, and he’s a man. They’re never good at realizing what we want and acting on it, especially when they’ve been alone for as long as Henry has been. Do I really have to spend the next six months making sure you know how much he loves you?”

I sniffed. “No, but it would be nice if he did.”

“Give him time,” she said. “He’s probably just nervous with all that’s happening.”

“What
is
happening?” I said, trying to pull away enough to look at her, but while she was being gentle, her grip was unbreakable. “What’s going on with Calliope?”

Ava tensed. “Didn’t Henry tell you?” she said in a timid voice.

“No, and if you don’t either, I’m going to rub my lipstick all over my face. And yours.”

She jumped away from me and held out her hands, as if to ward me off. “Don’t you dare. I’ll delay the ceremony if I have to.”

“I think Henry and James are already doing it for you.” I crossed my arms. “Tell me what’s going on. I have a right to know.”

She sighed. “You do, but Henry will kill me if he finds out I’ve told you.”

“Then I won’t tell him it was you.”

Ava glanced around nervously and tugged on one of her blond curls. “I’m only telling you this because Henry isn’t here to do it for me, because you really should hear it from him,” she said in a lowered voice, but I was positive she was telling me because she knew Henry wouldn’t. “Calliope escaped. Henry and Daddy and Phillip aren’t saying much about what’s going on, but—well, you saw the condition Henry was in. Obviously something bad is happening.”

Something bad enough to scar a god. “How did Henry get injured—have they said anything?”

“Said anything about what?”

I whirled around. James headed toward us, his hair a mess and his jacket torn in the shoulder, but at least there didn’t seem to be any blood this time.

“James!” I flew toward him, hair and makeup be damned. He gathered me in his arms and hugged me tightly, and I heard Ava’s strangled cry of protest. For her sake, I didn’t kiss him on the cheek. “Are you all right? What happened?”

“It was nothing,” he said. “A minor mishap. Everything’s fine.”

“You mean it didn’t have anything to do with Calliope?” I said, and James opened his mouth to answer when a second voice interrupted.

“It did.”

James winced, and he immediately let me go and stepped to the side. Henry crossed the hall toward me, and unlike James, he looked impeccable.

“Are you bleeding to death again?” I said, unable to keep the frostiness out of my voice. Henry either pretended not to notice or was too distracted to care.

“I am fine.” He nodded toward the double doors behind me. “I will escort you in. We should not keep the rest of the council waiting.”

That was the last thing I was concerned about, but when Henry offered me his arm, I took it. At this rate, it was the most contact I’d have with him all winter.

Ava and James ducked through the doors, and Henry stared straight ahead as we waited. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, looking for any signs that he’d been attacked again, but he was as composed as ever. As if having his new wife devote her life to helping him rule the Underworld was an everyday occurrence.

My chest tightened. I couldn’t make that kind of commitment if things weren’t going to change. If he wasn’t going to trust me, if he didn’t want me as his queen, then I didn’t want to do this. “Whatever’s going on with Calliope, I have a right to know.”

“You do,” he said. “I assure you, as soon as we get a moment, I will tell you everything.”

“We have a moment now,” I said. I didn’t want to fight, not on the cusp of the moment my life was going to change irrevocably forever. But that was exactly why I had to do this. “It doesn’t feel like you trust me or—or want me here, and I need to know that you do. And if you don’t, then we don’t have to do this.”

Henry hesitated. I watched him for any signs of what he was thinking, but his expression gave nothing away. “If you don’t want to—”

“I do,” I said, desperation clawing inside of me. “I want to stay. I want to do this. I want to be with you. I don’t know how to make that any clearer. But I need you to want it, too, okay? Please, just tell me you want me here so I can do this.”

I expected silence in return, and when he didn’t answer, I started to turn away from the doors.

Henry’s hand stopped me.

“Kate,” he said softly. “It has been a difficult day, and I am sorry for the worry I have put you through this afternoon. However, no matter how hard things become, no matter how much time it takes for both of us to adjust to this new life, never doubt that I want you here. You are capable and insightful, and you are better suited to stand beside me as my queen than any mortal I have ever known.”

My heart sank. His reasons were rational, but had no heart. If Henry had his way, I was certain that his queen was all I would ever be to him, but there was no point in pressing the issue. He’d answered me.

“Thank you,” I said as my voice trembled. It wasn’t enough, but he needed time, and I would give it to him. The ceremony was now though. What happened if he decided he could never love me as more than a friend after all?