Gods of Anthem (36 page)

Jeremy withdraws and shoves his hands deep into his pockets. We’ve left off touching one another again. Something’s changed between us. “You think I don’t know that?” he says, and his eyebrows knit together. “You’re the strongest person I’ve met, Liza. And it’s not that you couldn’t handle what may come. You can. It’s just that … there are things I haven’t told you. If certain people knew who you were, or how important you were to me…? This isn’t a request; I’ve known all along you wouldn’t listen. But it doesn’t matter….”

“Then tell me—”

“I’m leaving.”

My stomach drops. So he’d brought me here, as a goodbye. What a strange place to tell me unless … he’s going out there.

I glance down at the remnants of civilization. “You can’t just leave.” Panic’s starting to take hold of me. “We’re all in danger, whether we want to be or not. What are you going to do? Where will you go?”

Jeremy leans forward until his forehead almost meets mine, stopping just before they touch. “You stay clear of the mess when it comes. At least promise me that.”

He’s not going to tell me. It’s all a secret. And even with his face so near to mine, even with my heart skipping so many beats, my resolve firms. “I can’t do that. I can’t promise I won’t keep trying to help. I’m already too far in.”

His teeth gleam in the darkness, and he shakes his head. “So stubborn. A patriot to the end.”

Coldness pools in my spine. This is it. Doesn’t matter what I say. He’s leaving.

We both look down at the world—the old one, still waiting for someone to come along. It’s been growing, healing without our abuse.

“And what do you do it for,” I say, slow and sad, “if not for patriotism, Jeremy?”

“For freedom,” he replies in all seriousness, realizing I won’t change my mind, either. “What else is there?”

My jaw hardens as I spot a tiny little house that’s all but a shack. “Justice.”

In her anger,
Joelle’s run out on me. It’s almost daylight, and she’s upset enough to put herself in danger—in the sunlight.

Every minute wasted in one direction costs me two in another. Split right down the middle is exactly how I feel about now; I’m desperate to find her, not to mention furious and wanting to kill her when I do.

In my mad rush through the regular barracks, I’ve drawn attention and almost transitioned twice during the search.

Finally, outside, I spot a group of soldiers standing around Cory in a horseshoe-shape, all surrounding a single person on the ground.

Joelle.

Just like the fake reality back in the jungle, she’s there, ready to catch fire. She’s covering her face, writhing to avoid the rays as the sun swells beyond the lip of the earth, and Cory’s holding everyone back with his mind control.

Joelle’s in his grasp, too. Stuck where he’s put her, to await the burning.

Waco’s closest and fighting, barely moving inches in his attempt to help. His head turns from side to side like he’s stuck in molasses, and his drawl’s slower than usual. “You’d better hope you don’t run out of energy before the sun comes up, Cory. That little princess will suck you dry to your last capillary.”

Joelle hisses in answer. She’s wrapped her hair around her throat and face to protect her eyes from the bright horizon.

I creep up behind Cory, hoping he won’t notice me until I break his neck.

But before I can grab him, he flips around, and instantly my change begins. The monster’s been waiting for any slip of control, and before Cory can invade my mind, my body starts to stretch. A sound that’s more
it
than me erupts from my mouth.

But the monster can’t finish, because the world slows its spinning. Everything winds down. Air feels sucked out like a vacuum, muting sound. I can’t move, but my brain provides a name in explanation: Simon.

If you can call anyone our creator, Simon’s it. The Underground’s one scientist to undergo the rays himself, only he took it one step further. I’m told he died many times in the process, trying to become the perfect Special. His marks are burned off, proof that he’s a failure like the rest of us. Rumor has it they need two to start a new race: like an Adam and Eve who will be a game changer for our planet.

Now, Simon’s slowed time itself until my heartbeats have become long seconds apart. It’s unnerving, and the first I’ve ever fully felt his Special. He’s impervious to it, though, and his long trench coat flaps in the breeze. He watches us like he did that night Joelle and I fought in Gothenburg. That’s Simon. Always watching.

This time, I see something else in the shadow beneath his fedora.

Disappointment.

When I move my eyes down to Joelle, I find an empty space. Cory’s disappeared, too, along with everyone else.

When time restarts, it’s just me and Simon.

I jerk backwards from where he’s appeared a foot away from me.

“Thomas,” he says, “are you ready?”

“Sir?”

He tilts his head like someone who’s long since lost his humanity from ages spent in the otherness outside of time. “You will have to lead them. Do you believe that you can?“

I frown as doubt fills me.

“Do you believe in this war against the Authority?” he asks.

I hesitate, and like magic, a girl appears from behind Simon. Her eyes are unfocused, blind. She’s tiny, dressed in a white smock stark against brown skin; barely ten years old, if I had to guess. She approaches and lays a hand on my arm.

Then, I’m seeing nothing … before seeing everything all at once; visions like a movie reel, so fast, it’s impossible to keep up. People herded like cattle, heads shaved: Cancer. Camps, prisons, citizens in agony, suspended, hopeless, and crammed into uniforms with black helmets: Guards. Streets filled with blood: Anarchy in Anthem.

They’ve rounded up crying girls who hold their protruding stomachs. Too many mouths to feed; another child without a license.

A doctor approaches one, while she screams as they hold her down.

So … much … blood. And all of it rising in a massive wave.

With a yell, I break away from the oracle, tripping over my feet and falling backwards.

I’m alone.

My things are
packed. Joelle’s fine. Unharmed, that is. “Fine” is not how she is otherwise. “Fine” is as far away from my Jo-Jo as anything could possibly be. Nothing I can do about this part of our life. We always knew it would come to this.

“You’ve changed,” she says.

Two words that wound me fatally. I hadn’t realized the last of me was still thriving, even here, and I was content in our little pocket. Now, our pretend house has been tainted, and I want to blame Cory, but Joelle hadn’t said he was the one who’d changed. It was me. And she’s right.

This isn’t the first time that’s happened. Before, I’d changed purely because everything I’d wanted as a kid left me, like mist, overnight. My entire idea of what could have been was robbed from me. Dreams to play football. Dreams to leave Brookhaven. Of college, of girls, of being a somebody, anybody, even a lesser version of myself would have sufficed. Instead, I was left with this new me, someone I can’t trust, whom I don’t even know.

Joelle needs me.

And soon I won’t be there for her.