Going All the Way (6 page)

…

Ryan
wasn
’t ready for dinner to end. They’d been having such a good time. The food was
excellent, the conversation was insightful, and the company…beautiful. He definitely wanted to get to know Carrie better. She had a depth that surprised him.
She
surprised him. She was warm, intelligent, and beautiful. Except one minute she was laughing, and the next he got the big chill. He went over the conversation in his mind but couldn’t see where it got off track. It was probably just as well; talking about the Costas account reminded him how much work he still had to get to that night.

As they walked down the street, he longed to take her hand, to feel her warmth and softness, but she seemed cold and distant. So instead, he rambled, telling her about how his sister had fallen head over heels for a baseball player, and how as a result he himself was suddenly a pet owner.

“Riley’s lucky to have you,” she said, warming back up.

“Seems to me, Riley’s lucky you moved in next door. We both are.”

She looked up and caught his eye, a smile hovering on her lips. He loved the way her curls framed her face. They tempted him to reach out and touch them, to pull them through his fingers, straightening them only to watch them bounce back. He shook himself as they walked up the drive. He stopped in front of her door and took a step toward her before he stopped himself.

“Thanks again for taking care of Riley and joining me for dinner. It was a nice break.”

She didn’t step back. In fact, she was leaning toward him. If he reached for her, if he slipped his hand around her waist, would she let him? Did he want her to? To see how far this could go? She wet her lips, and he stared at them, wondering if they would taste like the wine they had with dinner. Suddenly, more than anything, he wanted to find out.

His gaze dropped down and caught an eyeful of lace hugging her soft breasts through the v in her neckline. He swallowed. “I’d like to stay and have another glass of wine.” He cleared his throat and focused on her eyes. Beautiful eyes. Warm eyes. “But I need to get back to work or Stu Steinhem will cut me a new one.”

She stilled, her smile faltering, her eyes widening with surprise and dismay.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked.

She took a step back and turned toward the door. “Nothing. I…uh, thought I heard Riley. I’ll go get him.”

Riley? He didn’t hear anything.

She unlocked her front door and quickly slipped through, leaving him standing on the stoop alone and bewildered.

What the hell had happened? He shook his head. She was beginning to master the art of getting him hot and then leaving him cold. Whatever was going on with her, it was just as well. He needed to get hold of himself and focus on his job. His pretty new neighbor was way too tempting, and obviously more than he could handle.

Chapter Eight

The next morning, Carrie pulled out her camera, fitted it with a telephoto lens, a
nd made sure t
he batteries were charged and a fresh memory card was inserted. She was taking Riley to the park. She’d take lots of pictures, then start a new painting, and try not to think about the fact that she’d almost kissed Ryan again. That she wanted to kiss Ryan again. No matter how strongly she told herself to keep her distance, she couldn’t. There was something between them. She didn’t know what, but she felt good with him. Comfortable. Easy. And he was so damned sexy. She definitely would have kissed him. Until he said the dreaded word—
Steinhem
. He worked for Steinhem Company. Her old company.

He worked for
Stu.

It was just her dumb luck. She should have guessed. He was living in Stu’s half of the duplex. She knew Stu was having trouble, but to bring in an outside consulting agency? It must be worse then she thought. And Ryan was the expert help he’d brought in. Talk about complicated. If Ryan knew she was Stu’s ex-wife, would he still want to spend time with her? Share dinner and stolen kisses? She didn’t think so.

He was all about business, first and foremost. As he should be. To be offered the job of president of a top-rated consulting firm was quite an accomplishment. Having a relationship with client’s ex did not fit into that equation. Not that she was ready for a relationship, or even wanted one. But now there was no option. Damn Stu. She just couldn’t seem to make a clean break from that man.

She sighed. She wasn’t going to think about it, or him. Or Ryan. Today she would focus on her art. She would start by going to the park and taking pictures. Lots and lots of pictures, and then she’d start a new project. “Hey there, Riley. You ready to go?”

Riley, who was lying on the floor with his head in his paws, perked up immediately. The poor boy had been depressed all morning.

“You missing your owner? He’ll be back soon. Let’s go to the park, take some pictures, chase some ducks, what do you say? It’ll be fun.”

Riley’s tail did a quick wag before dropping back to the floor.

“You look truly pathetic. Why would you put all your happiness into the hands of one dumb guy? Haven’t you learned better by now? They can’t be trusted to stick around, to be faithful, to have your best interest at heart. I hate to break it to you, but all they think about is what they want. What’s best for them. It’s all about their life and how you fit into it to make them happy.” She rubbed his head.

He looked at her with those big, sad eyes.

“You need to look out for number one, Bud. Or you will always be one sad pup. You got that?”

Riley did that wilty wag thing again.

“Come on. You can sniff some doggy butts, that will cheer you up.” She grabbed her purse, pulled the leash off the table and headed for the door. Riley jumped to his feet. “See, I knew that would get you. Typical male all the way.”

Riley barked as she clicked the leash onto this collar.

“And if you’re lucky you might even get a hot dog.” She grinned at her joke and they walked out the door, headed across the street, and turned the corner into the park. As she walked, she lifted her camera and peered through the viewfinder. It was a beautiful day with no fog and lots of warm sunshine, and people were out in droves. She breathed deep. The smell of eucalyptus filled the salty air. She had missed this city. There was no place else on the planet like it. She started snapping pictures: a little girl with red pigtails and freckles coming down a slide. A man on his bike with an aerodynamic helmet, mirrored sunglasses, and a way-too-serious look on his face as he took a turn. A clown holding a bouquet of brightly colored balloons, a dog playing Frisbee, and Stu standing by the hot dog stand in front of the entrance to the dog park with two hotdogs in his hand.

She dropped her camera and did a double-take. “Stu? What are you doing here?” she asked as she reached him.

“What, you don’t believe I like to eat lunch in the park?” he answered smoothly.

“
Not for a minute.
” She perused his face. “Were you spying on me?”

“No, of course not. I was just getting ready to call and see if you wanted to join me, and here you are. It’s like kismet.” He grinned.

“My ass,” she muttered. She’d been dumb enough to tell him right where she’d be. She took off Riley’s leash. “Go play,” she ordered, and he sprinted toward the other dogs inside the fenced area. She snatched one of the hot dogs from Stu’s hand. “All right. What do you want?” she asked, jumping into the fray.

He walked toward the nearest bench and took a seat. “I hate to admit it, but I’m in trouble. I need your help.”

No surprise there. She joined him on the bench and took a bite off the dog.

“We lost the Pepsi account,” he continued when she didn’t say anything.

“I heard. That’s quite a hit.”

Riley ran toward them, sat in front of her for a moment, got his head scratched, then ran toward the ducks in the pond.

“Don’t get wet,” she called, then realized how futile that was as Riley loped right into the water. “Damn,” she muttered. “Now I’ll have to give him a bath.”

“Since when did you get a dog?”

”I didn’t. I’m dog sitting.”

Astonishment crossed his face. “You?”

“Yes, me. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“I don’t know. You never struck me as the nurturing type. Dogs. Kids, hearth and home. Not exactly your style.”

She didn’t know whether to be insulted or to agree with him. The fact that she purposely hadn’t set up her computer so she would stay away from emails told her better. She took the safe route and said nothing.

“I know you,” Stu continued. “People are my job. You were always a specialty of mine. When we were together, we were unstoppable.”

“We were explosive, all right. That’s why we crashed and burned.”

“We could try it again.” His gaze held hers. Two years wasn’t that long ago. She’d given many more years, her whole life, to this man. He’d been her world, her everything. And then he’d broken it, and she’d never been the same. And she doubted she ever would be. How could she let her guard down enough to take that chance again? To trust anyone the way she’d trusted him?

“No. We couldn’t. You are exactly what I don’t want in my life,” she said, her voice thick with bitterness.

“Don’t you miss the excitement? The fire?”

She looked at his beautiful dark eyes, the perfect cheekbones, the Armani suit that fit him like a glove, and could easily give him an honest answer. “Not in the least. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You tell it like it is. Always have. It’s one of the things I love best about you.”

But he hadn’t loved her enough to stay. To be faithful. “So what are you going to do about the company?” she asked, taking another bite as she thought about Ryan and the trouble he’d been having.

“Beg you to come back.”

“I can’t,” she said instantly. And she wouldn’t. Not again.

“Just for this one account. If we lose the Costas account after having lost Pepsi, our stock will plummet. I’m not sure we’ll recover.”

He must’ve been desperate if he’d hired Ryan’s consulting firm. But even Ryan admitted he couldn’t seem to make it work, to find a campaign that would save this deal.

“Give it some thought. Just for this one account,” Stu said again. “I know you’d hate to see the company we built go under as much as I would.”

He had her there. That company had more than her blood, sweat and tears. It had been a creation of her soul. “I’ll think about it.”

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “It’s really good to have you back.”

She stiffened at the touch of his lips. “Thanks, Stu. But I have to look out for myself and Steinhem isn’t the best place for me.” Her words sounded hollow even to her own ears. She could feel herself being drawn back in, even while she tried to cling to the shreds of her newfound fragile bliss.

“It wasn’t the company that drove you away, it was me. I’m so sorry, Carrie. I was an idiot and a fool, riding high on an ego boost and not valuing what was really important, what really mattered to me. And that was you. I made so many mistakes, and I lost you. Your friendship and your love. I only hope someday you can forgive me.”

“I do forgive you, Stu.” Did she? Had she really moved past it? She had to admit, she wasn’
t sure.
“We were both too young to get married. We felt too strongly about each other…” She couldn’t continue over the lump in her throat.

“
I still do,
” he said.

“What?” She looked at him with fear in her heart.

“Love you.”

“Don’t say that,” she whispered. “We can’t go there. Not ever again.”

“All right. I respect you enough for that. But I will make it up to you someday. I promise.”

She smiled, but it felt weak. Some promises couldn’t be kept.

“I know I have no right to ask, but if you can spare a minute and do an old friend a favor by looking over the file on this account, I’d really appreciate it. You were always the best and if anyone can save this thing, it’s you.”

He pulled a folder out of his briefcase held it out to her.

She stared at it. “You shouldn’t have brought that. You shouldn’t have assumed I’d help you.”

“I didn’t. I hoped you’d do it for me, for old time’s sake. Look at it, then if something sparks your interest we can talk about it. No commitment.”

She shook her head, still refusing to touch it. To go back there. “
I don
’t know, Stu.”

“Listen, I understand you’re not coming back to work. All you’re doing is looking at it. If you happen to come up with a few ideas that my team can run with, I’d be extremely grateful. And if you don’t…” He spread his arms wide. “No harm, no foul.”

She stared at the file. Ryan had talked about her being in control of the project, the art, the deadlines. Maybe it was possible to rekindle the joy she used to have in advertising. To be a freelancer working on her terms. Maybe Ryan had a point.

She thought of him and warmed. Except they didn’t stand a chance. Ryan worked for Stu. But maybe if she could help Ryan, it would be worth it. “All right, I’ll look at it.”

He grinned and handed her the file. “I knew you would.”

She bristled as she placed the file in her bag. “Oh, yeah? What made you so sure?”

“I know you, darling. You love the fire. You love playing with it, you love creating it.”

She sighed. Obviously, he was right. She hadn’t even been home a week and she was already getting sucked back in to Stu’s world. She’d better get her defenses back up or she’d end up right where she was before—burned.