Going For It (9 page)

“Oh and you wouldn’t get a surgery if it meant prolonging your playing days?”

“That’s different.”

“How?” Hannah stood, her arms at her sides and her hands fisted looking down at Jake.

“Because it’s exactly what your mother would tell you to do.”

“Oh that is low!” Hannah turned away, tears welling up in her eyes.

“It’s the truth. She’s may be physically out of your life, but she’s residing inside your head.”

She spun around to face him, his words cutting up her insides. “What do you want from me?” she shouted.

The vein on his temple pulsed. “I want you to see yourself the way I see you,” he yelled.

Startled, Hannah jumped back, but he took a deep breath and stood, stepping forward to hold her hand and gently said, “I want you to love yourself the way I love you.”

He loved her? Looking into his eyes she caught a glimpse of what he saw. To him she was beautiful inside and out. And he loved her. Of course he did, who else would put up with her.

He, on the other hand, was so easy to love. “Oh, Jake, I, I—” Her hand flew up to her mouth, to keep the contents of her stomach from flying out and ran to the bathroom, reaching it just in time.

Jake followed her in. “Hannah, are you okay?”

“Go away,” she moaned into the toilet. She didn’t want him to see her this way. Was there anything worse to throw up than spaghetti? Her stomach heaved again. Maybe she was pregnant.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“I didn’t mean—” But it was too late. He was gone. And she didn’t have the strength to go chase after him.

Crawling into bed, she called Samantha and asked her to stop at the pharmacy in the morning before coming over. Hannah couldn’t walk into a drug store and buy a pregnancy test without it being reported on in every magazine in creation. After what felt like the Inquisition from Samantha, Hannah hung up the phone and fell into a fitful sleep.

Dreams flitted in and out. Then one so vivid she woke up in a whimper. Mommie Dearest made a guest appearance, mocking Hannah over and over again.

“I made you a star.”

“It’s Paris, it’s okay here.”

“There that wasn’t so bad.”

“He won’t love you when you swell up like a hot air balloon.”

It didn’t matter she already lost him. And when she confirmed in the morning that she was pregnant he’d think it was a desperate attempt to win him back. She imagined Jake’s strong body next to hers, even felt a shift of weight as if he were turning over.

“Feeling better?”

Did she dream that sexy deep voice? Opening her eyes she rolled into his open arms. “You didn’t leave me.” She clung to him as if she thought she was still dreaming and she’d wake to a nightmare of an empty bed.

“Leave you? I went to the store to buy you ginger ale and Nilla Wafers.” He smoothed her hair back. “But by the time I got back you were already zonked out.”

“I didn’t mean go away as in for good.” The panic in Hannah’s voice remained, despite his reassuring words.

“Its okay, shhh. I realized that about a minute after walking out the door.”

The words she held inside her heart but so afraid to voice flowed out in a breathless whisper, “I love you Jake.”

“Wow. You didn’t throw up. Progress.”

Hannah laughed. “Sorry about that.”

“Will you promise me something?”

“I’m not doing it.”

Jake’s skeptic look made her laugh again.

“I promise.”

His fingers caressed her cheek. “Your beautiful, Hannah. Maybe I don’t tell you enough.”

“You make me feel beautiful.”

His smile lit her heart afire – and other places too. “I’m feeling much better.”

Hannah rushed to get dressed. Samantha would be there in less than ten minutes with the pregnancy test and her screaming bladder counted every second. Deciding to pace in the living room, she walked out to find Jake still in the apartment. “Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?”

“Good morning to you too.”

“I’m sorry, you startled me.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay.” The doorbell rang and she rushed to answer it, ignoring Jake’s question of who she was expecting.

Hannah opened the door and pulled Samantha inside. “He’s still here,” she said in a tight whisper. “Act natural.” But they did anything but as they rushed by Jake with fake smiles on their way to the bathroom.

Closing the door, Hannah grabbed the bag from Samantha, ripped it open along with the packaging. She didn’t know which was worse—the anticipation of the results or the urgency to pee. Once she squatted over the toilet she had to ask Samantha to turn around. Done, Hannah calmly laid the stick down on the back of the toilet and washed her hands. “Are you timing it?”

Samantha nodded and began waving her hand like the motion would make time go faster. The two minutes seemed to stretch into eternity, but when Samantha said okay, Hannah stood frozen unable to move. The result would change everything.

‘If you don’t look, I will.”

She slapped Samantha’s hand as she went to reach for the stick. Hannah bent forward to read the results.

“Well, what does it say?” prodded Samantha.

In shock, Hannah straightened. “I’m pregnant,” she said simply.

“And are we happy about this?” Samantha’s look of anticipation was filled with hope.

Hannah paused. Truthfully, she never pictured herself with children, but she’d never pictured herself loving a man either. Would she be a good mother? She didn’t know, but she would try with all her heart to be one. At least she knew not what to do. “Yes. I’m scared out of my mind,” she admitted, but then started to giggle as euphoria replaced fear, “Yes, yes I’m happy.”

Samantha screamed, sharing in the joy, and Hannah joined in as they both jumped up and down. The celebration subsided and she realized something still scared her. “How do I tell Jake?”

Jake risked his second fine of the season by ditching the morning practice, but though he believed Hannah last night about the plastic surgery he didn’t trust that she’d feel the same way in the morning. He figured he’d wait around to see how she was feeling.

He approached the bathroom hoping to ease drop. The sudden shouts from behind the door surprised him and he backed away to the living room fitting the pieces together. The crinkled up bag and Samantha’s sly smile when she passed by him on the mad dash to the bathroom.

Samantha was pregnant.

Ryan was going to be one happy man. Jake wondered if Hannah would catch the baby bug. She was so obsessed with having the perfect body would she risk what it would do to her figure?

The door opened and the two of them stepped out into the living room, giggling.

“Congratulations Samantha.”

“Oh no, no, the congratulations aren’t mine,” she blurted. “Oh, I better go.” She mouthed ‘Call me’ to Hannah.

He re-organized the facts and the pieces thunder into place, the bag, the screaming, Hannah’s ongoing vomiting – morning sickness. “You’re pregnant?”

“Wow, that was easy. I’m so glad you’re a smart man and figured out…”

As she rambled on so did the thoughts in his mind. How? When? She said she was safe. But none of that mattered. Hannah was pregnant. With his baby. And she was happy about it.

So was he. Shocked, but happy. He tried to speak, but with the way she was going on and on, he didn’t think he’d be able to get in a word.

“… I hadn’t had my period in months when we—”

Jake did what any man would do and pulled her into a kiss. Already breathless, she greedily sucked in the air he breathed in to her until he was the one needing oxygen. Which was fine with him. He’d give her the air he breathed, his heart, his soul. He’d give her the family she’d never had. He’d give her everything because that’s what she meant to him. Everything.

A
t eight months and two weeks, Hannah’s supermodel runaway walk was reduced to a waddle. Still naked from the shower, she reached for the cream to rub over her swelled stomach hoping to prevent stretch marks.

Jake entered the bedroom with a bag of Godiva truffles. “Hey, beautiful. Let me do that.” He threw the bag onto the bed as he reached for the jar.

Any worries that he wouldn’t feel the same way when she grew fat faded long ago. In fact, he seemed to love her even more. Probably due to some male genetic pride passed down from the cavemen. But she came to love her body; even if it came after months of therapy. Still, her personal trainer was on speed dial as soon as the doctor gave the okay to resume exercising.

Jake knelt at her feet and kissed her rounded belly. In turn she stroked his bald head smiling at the picture they must make. The tabloids would pay a fortune for the shot, but this moment was for them alone, to be remembered inside her heart for the rest of her life.

Lovingly smoothing on the cream, Jake hummed a tune. Hannah’s mouth dropped opened and she dragged in a breath. The baby kicked like she was auditioning for the Radio City Rockettes.

“Whoa!” Jake met her gaze, his smile wide with amazement.

“It’s a girl, for sure.”

“You think so?”

“Every time she hears her Daddy’s voice she performs a Salsa inside me.”

“A girl? Hmmm.” Jake resumed his humming.

Jake made her believe in happy ever after. He’d asked her numerous times to marry. Samantha, Ryan and what seemed like the whole wide world had been after her to marry. But it wasn’t the outside world pressuring her that changed her mind but the weight of the baby she carried with such love that she didn’t know it was possible. And Jake shared that love with her. “I think it sounds good. Don’t you? Maxine Miller?”

Jake stood. A silly smile on his face and eyes filled with surprise. “Does that mean you’ll marry me?”

“Yes. Not that you’ve asked me in a whole week.” Hannah pretended to be offended.

“I was saving the 100th proposal for the delivery room.”

Hannah laughed. It wasn’t quite a hundred. “You didn’t even notice that I re-decorated the bedroom.” Samantha called it nesting, but now seeped in whites and blacks, the décor reflected the taste of a modern, sophisticated couple. She kept the chandelier though, after all a girl needed a little bling in the bedroom.

Jake looked about the room. “It’s nice, but all I need is a bed to make love to you in.” He leaned in to kiss her, but she grabbed his arm in a death grip as a contraction hit.

“It’s time.”

He eased her onto the bed. “Two weeks early? It can’t be a girl,” he joked.

“I am NOT amused.” Hannah winced at her tone. She swore she wouldn’t be a bitch in the delivery room, wouldn’t be one of those frantic women who yelled awful things. “Sorry.”

Jake chuckled. “Save them all for the end, otherwise you’re going to wear yourself out.”

Now that was funny and she laughed herself right into another contraction. When it passed he helped her dress in the designated outfit for the ride to the hospital—a simple sweat suit. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Finished he said, “It’s more fun taking your clothes off.”

Hannah giggled again. “Will you stop, I’m going to pop the baby right here!”

Panic lit up his eyes. Jake grabbed the packed bag from the closet. “All set?”

“Yep.” They rushed out the door, but Hannah stopped as they reached the elevators saying, “Wait!”

Eyes filled with concern, Jake asked, “Another contraction? So soon?”

“No. You forgot the truffles!”

Hannah laughed as Jake dashed back into the apartment as if he were running down the field for a touchdown. How deep could her love go for this man?

He returned with the bag. “Your wish is my command.”

With Jake at her side there was nothing left to wish for. She had it all.

Six hours and an empty bag of truffles later, Maxine Lee Miller was born into the world.

L
iz Matis is a mild manner accountant by day and romance writer by night. She believes in happily ever after.

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Liz would like to thank Juan M. Frisanccio Muñoz for permitting the use of his poem.

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