Going Lucid (4 page)

Malakha
leaned against the back of the couch as her body began to relax, the tablet
beginning to take effect as she began to feel out of control of her own body,
unable to move her limbs even though she was perfectly aware of what was going
on around her. Then everything started to look like a dream.

“Malakha.
Malakha.
Malakha!”

Malakha
wanted to answer, but it was like she wasn’t in her body anymore. Instead she
felt like she was on the outside, watching as the tall dark skinned girl was
shaking her body.

“Shit!”
the girl said turning to their driver. “What was in that stuff?”

“Nothing!”

“Nothing!
Look at her!”

Their
voices began to get further and further away and the world began to shift to
some other place, a dark place that wasn’t the rave and looked like an
abandoned dilapidated building. And then, though she was aware of the rave
still happening, like a place in the back of her mind still there where her
physical body still was, the new dilapidated building overtook everything else.

******

The
first thing she noticed in the new world was that everything lacked color. The
entire place was gray, brown, old, and dusty. Even when there was a splash of
color, it was dull and drab. The main light fixture was an old chandelier and
only hanging by a few loose wires from the ceiling and all the furniture was
broken in some shape, form, or another. The second thing she noticed, as she
began to look around to see why she wasn’t at the rave anymore was that she was
naked.

Malakha
immediately brought one hand to cover her breasts and the other to cover her
lower regions. She looked around, searching for something that would cover her
but to no avail. She opted to cross her arms over her chest since it seemed
like there was no one around. How barren everything looked began to concern
her, so she looked around to find an exit. When she found one, she decided
there would be no risk to just see if there was anyone around.

Malakha
poked her head out first, still very self-conscious of the fact that she had no
clothes on, and called out, “Is anyone here?”

No one
answered and so Malakha stepped timidly outside. Outside was just as bad as the
inside of the building. All the buildings were dilapidated and rundown and the
sky had what Malakha guessed was a permanent overcast. She continued walking,
stepped onto the sidewalk and eventually into the cracked street, lowering her
arms since no one seemed to be around.

“What
is this place?” she asked aloud even though no-one was there or at least that
was what she thought.

“Isn’t
it obvious?”

Malakha
jumped and turned around to see a man. He was tall and lanky with thin lanky
grayish black hair and wore a sick grin on his face, made creepier by the fact
that his skin seemed to take on the bleak coloring of wherever they were.

“It’s
not often we get visitors here, let alone a pretty thing like you.”

Malakha’s
arms flew to her chest again, to cover them, her face beginning to burn in
embarrassment at the man’s leer.

“I… I
don’t know how I got here. I just…” Malakha trailed off. She wasn’t quite sure
what to say, wasn’t sure if this wasn’t just a bad dream.

“I’ll
help you.”

“No
thanks,” Malakha said backing away, getting ready to spring off.

Sensing
her intentions, the man snatched her to him by her wrists and pressed her
against him.

“Let
go,” Malakha yelled, heart racing in fear and rage.

He
ignored her, fidgeting with his pants, which left him with only one hand
holding both her wrists. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Malakha lifted
her foot and stomped on his bare one. His grip on her wrist loosened as he
hissed in pain so that she was able to snatch her hands back and shove him away
from her. He fell to the ground, catching himself on his hands.

Malakha
continued to watch him, slowly backing away from him and trying to figure out
how the hell she was going to get out of the barren world when the man laughed.

“You
shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “You should have just let me rape you.”

His shape
began to shift into a something bigger, something with gray fur and red eyes.

“What
the…” Malakha trailed off as it roared. “Shit.”

She ran
back towards the building she had come out of, managing to get inside just as
the thing—that was now about five times bigger than Malakha—rose to its feet,
red eyes on Malakha, who was now looking for somewhere to take cover.

She
screamed when it came crashing through the wall, throwing debris everywhere and
forcing Malakha to duck into a room directly in front of her. There was a bed
in the room and Malakha got down on her stomach and slid under it, putting her
hands over her mouth as she looked in the direction of the creature. It looked
something like a cross between a demon and a wolf.

Malakha
counted in her head as she waited for the beast to simply walk out the room. No
way
it was
smart enough to look under the bed.
Creatures like this were
never
smart
enough to look under the bed.

This
one was.

The
demon-wolf creature flipped the mattress off her and roared, raising his claws
to scratch her. Before it could land a hit or Malakha could try to scramble out
the way, something else tackled it across the room. Malakha rose from her spot,
looking to where the two landed. The person who saved her was a man not much older
than she was, holding a weapon to the demon-wolf’s throat.

“Get
out of here!” he yelled.

“I wish
I knew how,” Malakha said to herself, standing up.

Then
the beast threw the man off him, and into the wall, causing more debris and
dust to fall. Malakha coughed, waving the air to try to clear the dust, but
when the dust did clear, the world was blurry again, like a dream, and was
beginning to fade. But this time instead of waking up somewhere else, all that
she could see was blackness.

Chapter
Four

A Bad Trip

Malakha
blinked the light out of her eyes, feeling disoriented when her mind drew a
blank as to where she was and why she was there. She sat up and took in the
room. It took her mind a few seconds to register that she was in her room at
school, sitting on her bed with her school uniform still on… well most of it
anyway. Her jacket and tie were gone. The question was why had she been
sleeping in it?

“You’re
finally up I see.”

Malakha
looked at Sabrina, who was coming back into the room. As the girl went over to
her drawers, she said, “You’re lucky it’s the weekend. If we had a class, I
would have had to explain why you were absent to someone and then you would
have been in trouble again. Probably expelled after that stunt you pulled last
night.”

“I wish.
My grandfather would have just shelled out more money to make them let me
stay,” Malakha said. She was silent for a while before asking. “What stunt
exactly did I pull last night?”

Sabrina
looked at her with a wide-eyed incredulous look. “Sneaking out to a rave and
getting so high you couldn’t even say your own name and then knocking yourself
out! Malak and I were almost afraid you overdosed or something.”

The
previous night came rushing back to Malakha, but it wasn’t the rave that she was
concerned about. She touched her arms, making sure she was wearing her blouse
and not someone else’s.

“Is
that all that happened?” Malakha asked.

“Fortunately
for you, yes. You better be glad Malak asked Ashley to keep an eye on you if
she saw you. No telling what would have happened otherwise.”

“Ashley?”

“Some girl that Malak brought with you all to the rave.
She’s the one who helped him get into the girl’s dorm when he brought you
back.”

“Malak
brought me back?”

“Yes
and thankfully unhurt.”

Malakha
lowered her arms, the barren world she had been in last night at the forefront
of her mind, particularly the big demon-wolf man that tried to rape her and
then kill her. Was it all just a dream?

“Well,”
Sabrina added as an afterthought, “except for those bruises on your wrists. Did
someone try to mess with you or something?”

“I
don’t think so,” Malakha said slowly, taking note that the bruises were in the
same place the man in her dream had grabbed her. Had it been a dream? “Are you
sure that’s all?”

“That’s
all Malak told me,” Sabrina said and then turned to look at Malakha. “Why? You
looked a little spooked about something.”

Malakha
shook her head.
“Nothing.”

“I
don’t believe you. I’ve never seen that look on your face before. But if you
don’t want to tell me, whatever,” Sabrina said starting to leave the room
again.

“Wait!”
Malakha said. “Do you know where Malak is?

Sabrina
shrugged. “You may want to avoid him for a while though. He was really angry at
you last night.”

It
wasn’t the first time someone had been angry with her for one reason or
another, and it wasn’t going to be the last. She swung her legs off the side of
the bed and stood up, ignoring that they felt a little wobbly. Then she began
to follow Sabrina out the room.

“Where
are you going?” Sabrina asked.

“To find Malak.”

“I told
you, he’s angry at you. And shouldn’t you take a shower or something first?”

“I’m
just going to talk to Malak and come back.”

“You
don’t know where he is.”

“He’s
not hard to find on a Saturday morning.”

“Afternoon
actually,” Sabrina corrected.

Malakha
stopped at that. “What time is it?”

“Two
twenty-four.”

Malakha
started to ask if she was really out that long, but decided it wasn’t important
and headed to where she knew Malak spent his Saturday afternoons when he wasn’t
in his room doing school work or on the computer.

Malakha
went down the stairs, taking them by twos, ran down the hall of the second
floor, and took the next set of stairs by twos again, arriving in the large
living area of the girls’ dormitories. She breezed past the fireplace and
through the lounge, into the hall that led to a large foyer and the arched
doorway that was the exit. Malakha exited the foyer through the doors, made her
way down the concrete steps and then made a left across the front lawn of the school,
passing nuns and monks and caring little about the weird looks they were giving
her as she made her way to the other side of the large castle where the boys’
dormitories were. She found Malak around the side of the building with a bunch
of other boys from the dorm, playing football. They seemed to be in the middle
of a play, but Malakha didn’t care about that as she made her away across the
field.

The
other boys must have noticed her urgency because everyone broke up to
pause
their game as she made her way to where Malak was. He
looked like he really didn’t want to be bothered with her, if the way he rolled
his eyes and
slumped
his shoulders at her was any
indication.

When
she didn’t seem deterred he asked tersely, “What do you want Malakha?”

“What happened
last night?” she asked closing the distance between them so everyone would take
the hint to mind their own business.

“I told
Sabrina to tell you if you asked. Go find her,” Malak said about to turn away
from her.

Malakha
grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn back to her.

“She
told me what you told her. I just want to make sure you told her everything.
You did
didn’t
you?”

“Yes,”
Malak said snatching his arm out her hand. “Why wouldn’t I? And why are you so
concerned I didn’t.”

Malakha
hesitated and then said, “Because I had… a disturbing dream I guess. But it
felt so real. And then there was that laughter.”

Malak
huffed. “So you had a bad trip. It happens sometimes when a person gets high
from LSD,” he snapped.

“So
that’s what that pill was,” Malakha said.

Malak
gave her a look similar to the one Sabrina gave her earlier, that incredulous
wide-eyed look.

“You
seriously didn’t know what it was?”

“I knew
it was a drug, but not what kind.”

“Whatever
Malakha,” he said turning away from her again.

Malakha
went around to stand in front of him again, causing him to bump into her.

“Malak.
I’m serious. I don’t know if I was dreaming or not.
It was happening before. I don’t think—“

“Malakha,
you had a bad trip. Now leave me alone,” Malak said pushing her aside and
walking past her.

“What’s
your problem? What did I do to you?” Malakha asked.

“You’re
not stupid Malakha. Figure it out,” Malak said starting to walk away.

Malakha
jogged beside him. “No. I really don’t have any idea.”

Malak
rounded on her, causing Malakha to run into him this time. Malak grabbed her by
the arm to steady her, but didn’t let go when she was solid on her feet again.

“I
don’t know, you disappear last night and the next time I see you, you’re
practically out cold after getting high. I think that’s reason enough,” Malak
said and then let go of her arm like she was something disgusting.

“What’s
that got to do with anything? So I got a little high. No big deal.”

“No big
deal that you had me and Sabrina thinking you might have overdosed.”

“Oh please,”
Malakha said. “If it makes you feel any better, I won’t be trying it again.”

Malak
stared her with the penetrating gaze that normally made Malakha feel
uncomfortable. Today she was too frustrated with him to care.

“You’re
unbelievable,” he said turning away from her again.

Something
dawned on her.

“Does
this have anything to do with you liking me? Like you’re hoping I’ll realize
how much you mean to me because you don’t want to talk to me.”

Malak laughed
lifting his hand in a gesture like he was about to choke something. Then he
dropped his hands and said, “Maybe it’s just that I care about what happens to
you.”

“Because you like me?”

“I more
than like you Malakha. Why else would I be mad at you right now? Is that so
hard to believe?”

“Yes
actually.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s hormones and all that.
Once that wears off,
you’ll get over it.”

“Who
told you that?”

“My mother.”

“Trust
me. If that were the case, I would have given up a long time ago.”

“So
what are you saying? My mother lied to me?”

“I’m
saying that’s not always—
You
know what?
Whatever.
Now I see why everyone avoids you. You’re fucking
psychotic,” Malak said walking away.

Malakha
reared her head back in surprise. She was so surprised that when she finally
decided to say something, Malak was long gone.

Malakha
huffed and turned on her heel. That was fine with her. If he wanted to be an
ass because he liked her so much, then let him. As she began to walk away, she
saw a monk coming toward her out the corner of her eye and tried to get ahead
of him.

“Malakha!”

Malakha
stopped and rolled her eyes as she turned to face the monk.

“Honestly.
I was just talking to him, it’s not like we were doing anything scandalous like
discussing having sex in a secret classroom later.
Really!”

“What?”

It was
John, the young monk she had met the previous night at the exorcism.

“Oh.
Sorry. I thought you were one of the other monks that are always on my case.
You’re still here?”

“I’m
always here, just usually on the church side.”

“Why
are you here today then?”

“I was
looking for you last night. I wanted to make sure you were alright after you
stormed out of that exorcism. Father Thomas told me you were just… a little
rebellious is all and that you were just acting out again, but it seemed like
more than that. Are you alright?”

Malakha
wasn’t sure what to say at first. The truth was she was a little flustered by
everything that happened last night, but she couldn’t tell John that. He may
have seemed a little less uptight than the other monks she knew, but he was
still a monk.

“Fine.
I think I’m a little claustrophobic is all.”

John
frowned. “Are you sure? You said you heard laughing last night,” John said
gesturing for her to walk with him.

“Yeah.
I think that exorcism was getting to me.”

“They’re
like that.”

“You
mean people are subjected to that abuse every time they’re exorcised?”

“It’s
not abuse. But exorcism can be painful for the demon being exorcised.”

“That girl
wasn’t possessed,” Malakha said looking at John out the corner of her eye
before looking ahead again. “She was just rebellious and her parents wanted to
scare her. That’s emotional abuse.
A scare tactic.”

John
looked at her silently, going so far as to stop as he did so. Then he started
walking again and asked, “You really don’t believe in any of this do you?”

His
tone was without judgment or reprimand. There was only curiosity, and Malakha
appreciated that for once someone wasn’t looking down at her for her thoughts.

“The exorcism or Catholicism?”

“Both.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

The
question surprised her. Most people usually wanted to know what she did believe
in and when she couldn’t give them an answer, they usually just stopped talking
to her.

After a
long pause, Malakha said, “I really don’t know. I was raised like every other
Catholic girl. My mother filtered everything I watched and read, didn’t let me
read
Harry Potter
for a long time,
and made me read the bible and learn Latin and sent me to a catholic all girl’s
private school. Catholicism is all I know, but it never made any sense. Nothing
was logical about any of it. Nothing seemed practical enough, so I never really
believed it and as I got older, I got more vocal about it.”

“Do you
believe in anything?”

“Only
that something put us all here, but beyond that…” Malakha trailed off with a
shrug.

John
stopped in front of the main entrance to the school as they began to pass it,
hands clasped in front of him.

“That’s
interesting,” John finally said. “I have to go, but I hope I’m able to get to
know you better Malakha. See you soon.”

John
began walking back to the school again, leaving a somewhat perplexed Malakha
behind. He was a very different kind of monk. Most of them thought she was more
heathenish than interesting. She could honestly say John was a monk she
wouldn’t mind seeing more of.

******

The
laughing came back Sunday while they were in the chapel. Malakha was doing her
best to try not to fall asleep. If she weren’t already in trouble, she might have
stayed in her dorm. But after sneaking into the music room last week and
storming out the exorcism earlier that weekend, Malakha figured she had caused
enough scandal for everyone to talk about for the rest of the month and allowed
Sabrina to drag her out of bed to the worship.

By the
time it was time for the choir to sing, Malakha had given up trying not to fall
asleep and the fact that she was so cold she had goose bumps again wasn’t
helping, so he started to give in to her heavy eyelids. Then the sound woke her
up; not the sound of the loud notes of the organ or even the sound of the choir
singing in mostly perfect harmony. It was that laughter; that mocking laughter
she had heard during the exorcism Friday evening.

Malakha
slowly sat up, looking around for a source, hoping that this was just some big
joke that the entire school was in on in order to scare her out of her
rebellious ways.