Golden Delicious (26 page)

continues unlocking his bike
.

COMMUNITY THEATER

You need a ride?

Me?

COMMUNITY THEATER

You’re going to the party, aren’t you?

(
Turning to face her
.) I was just going to head home.

COMMUNITY THEATER

You should go!

CHORUS
(
from the backseat of the Jeep
)

Come on,
!

I’ve got my bike, though.

COMMUNITY THEATER

No problem. Get in and I’ll drop you back here afterward.

gets in the Jeep. The Jeep drives off the pagestage
.

We drove out to the deadgroves, me in the passenger seat and the Chorus—a singular mass with twelve sets of torsos, arms, shoulders, necks, and heads—in the backseat. The Community Theater lit a cigarette and blew smoke out the window. The Chorus tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around. “Really great job,
. You were awesome as the Old Man.”

“Thanks,” I said. I remember that moment—the thrill in my chest. On my way to an actual
party
! And then, to make things even better, the UCs’ “Paying Customers” came on the radio. After my sister left for auction school, I raided her tape collection. Whenever I missed her or felt lonely, I’d pick out one of her tapes—the UCs, usually—and listen to it on my orange headphones.

“Nice,” I said now. “I love this song.”

The Community Theater looked over at me and smirked. “You don’t know this
song
,” she said.

“ ’Course I do,” I said. “This is my favorite band.”

“Who is it?” asked the Chorus.

“I want to see if
knows,” said the Community Theater.

“It’s the Ulcerative Colitises,” I said. “The album
Tenesmus
.”

“What’s the name of the song?”

“ ‘The Bathroom Is for Paying Customers Only,’ ” I said. “Fourth song on side A.”

The theater looked at me. “Wow,” she said. “I’m impressed.”

When we reached the deadgroves, the theater parked and we stepped out into the night. Most of the cast and
crew was there, standing around a bonfire, and someone had brought a keg.

The wig’s wife, Ellen, gave me a hug—it had been so long since I’d hugged anyone—and told me that she hoped I’d work with them again in the future. Then the theater walked up to me and handed me a red plastic cup.

Scene: The deadgroves

COMMUNITY THEATER

Here.

looks into the cup, then takes a sip
.

COMMUNITY THEATER

So how do you know the UCs?

Best band in Appleseed! Their zitherer, Oppenhowser? Is—like—the shit.

COMMUNITY THEATER

How about Yosa Ron?

She’s good.

COMMUNITY THEATER

Good?
She’s the best hurdy-gurdy player in the history of—