Golden Paradise (38 page)

Slightly more than two hours later he glanced at the clock on his desk, finished the southwest angle of attack by noting the cavalry regiments to be held in reserve and, setting aside his maps, leaned back in his chair and stretched. The muscles across his shoulders ached and he flexed his arms briefly to relax the tension.
So much depended on the attack, so much depended on his assessment of their options.
The western campaign in Bulgaria and Romania would be dramatically influenced by the success or failure of the attack on Kars.

And failure was unthinkable.

He'd never failed.

Standing, he pushed his chair back and strode to the windows. Lifting aside the heavy draperies, he stared out into the blackness rushing by, only an occasional twinkle of light in a distant dwelling evidence of another living being. He felt very much alone in the luxurious railway car, as though he stood a solitary figure in a dark void, as though the entire burden of the war's success were on his shoulders. He must be more tired than usual, he thought, to feel the depression so intensely. Much of the burden of the Tsar's wars had been his responsibility for years now and he'd never felt the weight so oppressively.

Perhaps the siege had lasted too long; perhaps they should have attacked sooner; maybe he was experiencing a sense of lost opportunities at not being more insistent in his views in the staff conferences. Shaking away his thoughts of what might have been, he walked to his liquor cabinet and poured himself a small cognac. It was futile to ponder days and weeks that were past, he reminded himself as the first draught of fiery liquor traveled down his throat. He'd never been prone to dwell on unalterable circumstance and he refused to be cast into gloom.

Tomorrow he'd finish the cavalry placements and then begin to deal with Suvarov's artillery sketches. He'd told the old general, who'd come up through the ranks on competence alone, that he could help him pinpoint some of the weaker areas in the Turk's defenses after his months of scouting Kars during the siege. Suvarov's artillery was critical in the period before the attack, and then Stefan's cavalry was the assault arm for the infantry. They had to break through the redoubts, they had to silence the cannon commanding the heights, they had to open the way for the foot soldiers… all possible with the right spirit and elusive, fickle luck. His cavalry had always triumphed in the past, for Russia, for his Tsar…and for his father's memory.

His own future, though, was measured in different proportions from the unstable impetuosity of his past, when time was reckoned by the next battle or the next pretty lady in the next convenient bed. His expanded future included a beautiful woman he loved with a passion that colored his every thought. And soon he might have a child to carry on the Bariatinsky dynasty, a child he cherished already when he dared to plan beyond Kars.

"For you, Mama and Papa," he softly said, raising his glass to the black night speeding by. "You would have loved them." Taking a deep breath, he added in a husky murmur, "And to luck."

H
e woke her by lying down beside her on his large bed and pulling her into his arms, where he held her for long minutes, her body warm from sleep.
At leisurely intervals he murmured, "I love you," as though the phrase were verbal confirmation of his happiness.

Lisaveta responded with kisses and her own whispered love words, and miles of Russia passed by the darkened bedroom window as they savored their quiet joy. The birch-paneled room was lighted by a single bedside fairy lamp, its pale glow illuminating a limited golden circle hardly reaching the limits of the bed. The dresser, the photos of Stefan's parents on the wall, the black leather campaign chair that had been his father's, were all in shadow. Stefan was still dressed with the exception of his uniform tunic, discarded in the parlor beside his rolls of maps. His long lean body stretched beyond the brilliance of the crystal lamp, the turquoise silk coverlet crushed beneath his boots, his bare torso and arms and slender hands swarthy against Lisaveta's paler flesh and primrose gown. She was tucked close to him, like a small child still half-asleep, her feet covered by the folds of her nightgown. Nestled in the strong curve of his arm, she was thinking she would tell her grandchildren someday how the entire world seemed to be laid at her feet that night in the rushing train traveling south across Russia.

"I've always been lucky," Stefan softly said, touching the delicate sweep of her jaw, trying to put his feelings into words.

"I believe in Gypsy fate and jinns," Lisaveta breathed, her quiet voice imbued with a solemn intensity, understanding what Stefan meant. "I think I always knew you'd appear someday."

His gaze altered minutely and a teasing infused his words. "It took me longer to realize."

"You loved me," she finished with a surety he admired.

"Yes," he agreed. "Although," he went on, irony prominent in his tone, "my timing could have been better."

"We've time now," she said, and reached up to kiss him.

"Three days," he murmured against the softness of her mouth.

"For our honeymoon…"

And for mapping the last details of the attack, he thought. "For our honeymoon," he affirmed, and kissed her very gently.

He undressed her slowly then, untying ribbon bows and undoing small pearl buttons with a delicate slowness. He was in no hurry. In fact, he felt a rare and uncommon drama as if his wedding night should be approached with a kind of leisured sensitivity so it wouldn't end too soon.

Lisaveta sat tranquilly in his lap, absorbing the tactile pleasure of Stefan's touch, the gentleness of his fingers, the brushing sensation of her gown slipping from her body, the strength of Stefan's legs beneath her, the warmth emanating from his powerful frame. Extraordinary feelings of possession overcame her. He was her husband, the word and the sentiment that went with it ones of potent pleasure and startlingly aphrodisiac. It surprised her she would feel that way, that having married him she would want him more, she could love him more, she could feel the heat of his body, his touch, even the sound of his voice, with increased intensity.

But she did, and desiring him beyond the serene lethargy of Stefan's motivations, she began undressing him.

He smiled, a knowing understanding smile because he was familiar with her impatience, could recognize when her breathing altered, could feel the heat of her fingers on his skin. She unbuckled his belt with mild speed and slid it from its loops. The silver buttons on his breeches
came
loose next, and he stood then to pull off his boots and strip off the white leather breeches.

"I like the train," she said, kneeling nude and graceful on the bed, her hand on his hip, her smile heated from within. "Don't you?"

It
was
perfection: the isolation, the small and intimate proportions of the room; the starlit night sky visible through the windows; the racing speed, which seemed to place them somehow outside the boundaries of the world.

"We're alone." He said the words so they were special beyond their endearment, as though they meant, as well, that they were forever together.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him close, because she knew their time was precious and their immediate "forever" was only a few days long. His skin felt sleek beneath her hands and cheek, his solid strength her anchor and security, his heart beat steady and strong under her ear. She felt for a moment too fortunate and happy, as if there were an expendable limit to the felicity of her feelings and she
were
living on borrowed time. "Don't go," she whispered.

He didn't reply and she felt guilty for saying the words, for asking him to do what he couldn't. He stroked her back in a slow soothing rhythm, his palms warm, the pressure of his hands gentle, his heartbeat unaltered. "I won't," he finally said.

She looked up quickly.

"We have today and tomorrow." He was telling her they wouldn't think of menacing prospects now. Tonight she could ask and he would promise that their love and their future would be inviolable for… two days.

It was more than some people ever had. It was more than she'd thought possible even a week ago. She smiled up at him, her golden eyes full of love. "I'm glad you're not going."

"So am I," he said, the fiction theirs, this wedding night a miracle achieved against unprosperous odds, their love a triumph of two spirits validating the power of love.

He needed reminding when the time came later that she wasn't fragile as glass, that she was healthy and young and much too aroused to wish to be treated with such restrained gentleness…although "tame courtesy" were the actual words she used.

"The baby," he said, reminded by Nikki at the station and by his own thoughts, the prospect of fatherhood more and more prominent with his future so insecure. He could no longer disregard or waive the unalterable change in his thinking, no more than he could overlook Lisaveta's pregnancy, and his unease with the precise nuance of making love was natural. He had, to date, not acquired any familiarity with enceinte women.

"I'm fine," Lisaveta softly assured him.

"You're sure."

"I'll be finer soon," she replied in a seductive teasing whisper, "if you remember everything I've taught you in the past."

He laughed.
"My apologies, darling, for being too well behaved."

"I think," his newly married wife said, her eyebrows raised in mild reproof, "we've talked enough."

He was braced above her on his elbows, her legs wrapped around his, the heat from her eyes almost tactile, his own glance only fractionally cooler. "That almost sounds like an order," he murmured, his mouth curved in a smile.

"Did I word that improperly?" Lisaveta murmured back. "I meant it to be…" She paused, lifting her hips slightly and rotated them in exquisite slow motion so he felt it in the soles of his feet and the tips of his toes, in his fingers, down his spine and with sensational intoxication in his heated brain. "An unequivocal order," she finished.

He was smiling when he lowered his head to kiss her, and he made certain no one could fault him for excessive deference, although excessiveness in other areas found unqualified favor.

The bed was a shambles soon and the room too hot in short order. Stefan opened the window because the small porcelain stove near the door wouldn't cool down for hours.

It was raining out, a fine misting rain that dampened his hair and made it curl when he stayed in the windswept air for long moments to cool
himself
. And when he fell back on the bed and pulled Lisaveta in his arms he smelled of pine forests and freshness.

He seemed a young boy suddenly, removed from the pomp of his princely travel and retinue, and she wished with the illogical fantasy of lovers that she'd known him when he was young.

"I love you so much my heart aches," she whispered as he kissed her cheek and nose and chin, small droplets of water falling from his hair.

"No, no, no," he resolutely objected, his voice rich with happiness. "Love me so much your heart spills over with joy…love me, sweetling, with laughter and pleasure…" He cupped her face between his warm palms, his smile infectious, boyish. "Love me with jubilation and rejoicing because that's how I love you and," he added very, very softly, "you're having my
baby."
He said the last word with a hushed reverence, feeling at that moment so deep in love the boundaries of definition would have to be pushed beyond the star line.

His eyes as she gazed up at him were dark passion, his words irresistible, and her answering smile was artless and unreservedly loving. "I'm having your baby." Her quiet declaration had the power to erase long years of sadness and bring full circle a kind of happiness he'd forgotten existed. Her small hands covered his where they lay on her cheeks and she said, as a young schoolgirl might recite a statement of fact, "I love you, Stefan Bariatinsky." And then she grinned like that same young schoolgirl might. "Now what are you going to do about it?"

He laughed, and then his dark glance turned seductive. "I suppose," he murmured, his deep voice husky with suggestion, "I'll have to make you happy."

And he did.
Offering her everything, his heart, his soul, his exhilaration, his unconditional love.

She welcomed him on that rain-cooled night with the unrestrained spirit he adored. They made love with extravagant generosity, indulgent to each other first before they were self-indulgent, so in love each melting kiss seemed sweetly new, each peaking splendor and rushing climax rare and precious.

As morning came, they fell asleep in each other's arms, wishing in those illusory, unsubstantial moments before sleep falls that they weren't on a princely railcar speeding south to a killing field.

They slept late into the morning and woke leisurely when the sun was already high in the sky.

Almost half the day gone, Stefan unconsciously thought, as though some internal clock were ticking off the restricted time. And he felt for a short sinking moment as if these few hours were all he was going to be allowed. Determinedly shaking away his brief melancholy, he leaned over and kissed Lisaveta good-morning, and when her eyes slowly opened, he said with a smile and the impatience of a child, or perhaps a prince, "We have to eat."

Familiar with his appetite, Lisaveta said in sleepy, sardonic query, "How did you last so long?"