Gone (22 page)

"Anna and Emma just pooled" "What?"

"I was standing there. I was watching them. I was holding Anna's hand when it happened."

Astrid rose and without really thinking about it wrapped her arms around Sam like she did when she was trying to comfort Little Pete.

But unlike Little Pete, Sam responded to her touch by awk~ wardly hugging her back. For a moment his face was in her hair and she heard his ragged breathing close to her ear. And it seemed like they might do it again, the kissing thing, but then, both at once, they pushed away

"She was scared "Sam said. "Anna, I mean. She saw Emma disappear. They were born just six minutes apart. So, first Emma. Then Anna, waiting for it. Knowing it was coming"

"How horrible. Sam, come inside." She glanced at her brother. He was playing his game, as usual.

Astrid led Sam to the kitchen and poured him a glass of water. He drank half of it in a single gulp.

"I have five days," Sam fretted. "Five. Days. Not even a week."

"You don't know that for sure"

"Don't, okay? Just don't. Don't tell me some story about how it's all going to be fine. It's not going to be fine."

"Okay" Astrid said. "You're right. Somehow, age fifteen is this line, and when you reach it, you poof out"

That confirmation seemed to calm him down. He had just needed to have the truth set out clearly without evasions. It occurred to Astrid that this was a way she could help Sam, not just now, but in the (inure. If they had a Future,

"I was avoiding it. Not thinking about it. I'd kind of convinced myself it wasn't going to happen" He managed a wry grin, mostly it seemed, for her benefit. I le could see his own fear reflected in her and now he was trying to tamp it down. "On the plus side, it means I don't have to worry about how depressing it's going to be having Thanksgiving here in the FAYZ."

"There may be a way to beat iu" Astrid said cautiously.

He looked at her hopefully, like maybe she had an answer-She shook her head, so he said, "No one's even looking for a way out of the FAYZ. There may be a way to escape. For all we know, there's a big, wide-open gate in the barrier. Maybe out to sea. Maybe out in the desert or up in the national park. No one has even looked."

Astrid resisted the urge to label that sentiment as "grasping at straws"

Instead, she said, "If there was a way out there would be a way in. And the whole world must know what's happened. Perdido Beach, the power plant, the highway suddenly blocked—it's not like the world hasn't noticed. And they have more people and more resources than we do. They must have half the scientists in the world working on it. But here we are still"

"I know. I know all that" He was calmer now and sat on one of the barstools that lined the kitchen counter. He ran one hand over the smooth granite surface as if appreciating the coolness of the stone, "I've been thinking, Astrid. What about an egg?"

"Um. I'm out of eggs."

"No, I mean, think about an egg. The baby chicken pokes his way out of the egg, right? Bui if you try to break into the egg, it all comes apart." He did * crumbling thing with his fingertips to illustrate. When she didn't respond, he slumped and said,"It made perfect sense when I was think-ing about it"

"Actually, it does make a certain amount of sense" she said.

He was clearly taken aback. His eyes twinkled in a way she liked, and he smiled lopsidedly "You sound surprised," he said.

"I am, a little. It may turn out to be an apt analogy"

"You're only saying 'apt analogy* to remind me you're smarter than I am," he teased.

Their eyes locked. Then both looked away both smiling with embarrassment.

"I'm not sorry, you know" he said, "I mean, wrong time, wrong place, and all, but I'm still not sorry"

"You mean ,, ?

"Yeah."

"No, me neither," Astrid said. "Um, it was my first time. You know, if you don't count when I kissed Alfredo Slavin in first grade"

"First time?"

"Well. Yeah. You?"

He shook his head and winced regretfully. Then he said, "But it was the first time I meant it"

A comfortable silence fell between them.

Then Astrid said, "Sam, the eggshell thing: what you're saying is that if people outside try to penetrate the barrier wall, it might be dangerous to us. And the people outside might have figured that out. It may be that only we can safely break the barrier and emerge. Maybe the whole world is waiting, watching, hoping we'll figure out how to hatch" She opened the cabinet above her anc produced a hall-empty bag of cookies. She put them on the counter and took one for herself "It's a good theory, but you realize it's still not likely"

"I know. But I don't want to just sit here and wait for the clock to tick down if there's a way out of the FAYZ"

"What is it you want to do?"

He shrugged. He had a way of doing that in a way that didn't express doubt or uncertainty but was more like a person sloughing off a heavy burden, freeing himself up to act. "I want to start by following th* barrier and seeing if there just happens to be some big gate. Maybe you walk through that gate and everyone's there* you know? My mom, your parents. Anna and Emma"

"Teachers" Astrid supplied.

"Don't ruin a happy picture "Sam said.

"What happens if you do find a gate, Sam? You go through it? What happens to all the kids still in the FAYZ?"

"They get out, too"

"You won't know for sure it's a gate unless you go through it. And once you do, there may not be a way back in "Astrid, in five days I vacate. I poof. I dig a hole" "You have to think about yourself," Astrid said without inflection.

Sam looked stricken. "I don't think it's fair to—" Whatever he had been about to say was lost because at that moment there were two noises in rapid succession. The first was a thump coming from outside. The second was Little Pete's screech.

Astrid ran for the door, burst through, and found Little Pete curled into a ball, shivering, howling, ready to launch a full-scale breakdown.

There was a rock on the plank floor beside him.

And standing on the sidewalk, laughing, were Panda, a Coates kid named Chris, and Quinn, Panda and Chris held baseball bats. Chris was also carrying a white trash bag. Inside the bag, just visible, was the logo of a new model game player.

"Did you throw a rock at my brother?** Astrid yelled, fearless in her outrage. She dropped to her knees beside Little Pete.

Sam was hallway across the lawn, moving with a purposeful stride.

"What did you do, Panda?"

"He was ignoring me," Panda said.

"Panda was just goofing, Sam" Quinn said. He stepped between Sam and Panda.

"Throwing a rock at a defenseless little kid is just goofing?" Sam demanded. "And what are you doing hanging with this creep, anyway?"

"Who you calling a creep?" Panda demanded. He took a tighter grip on his baseball bat, but not really like he meant to start swinging,

"Who do I call a creep? Anyone who throws a rock at a little kid," Sam said, not backing down.

Quinn raised his hands, playing the peacemaker. "Look, take a breath, brah. We were just ona little mission for Mother Mary. She drafted Panda and sent him to took for some little kid's stuffed bear, okay? We were doing a good thing"

"Doing good and stealing someone's stuff?" Sam pointed at the trash bag in Chris's grip. "And on the way back, you figured you'd throw a rock and hit an autistic kid?"

"Hey, step off," Quinn said. "We're bringing the game to Mary so she has something for the kids to do"

Little Pete was screaming in Astrid's ear now, so she couldn't hear everything that was said, just snatches of angry words between an increasingly huffy Quinn and a coldly furious Sam.

Then Sam spun on his heel and stalked back toward her and Quinn gave him the finger behind his back and sauntered off down the street with Panda and the Coates kid.

Sam threw himself violently into a porch chair. For the ten minutes it took Astrid to soothe her little brother and redirect him to his video game, Sam just seethed.

"He's becoming useless. Worse than useless," Sam said. Then, relenting, he said, "We'll get past it."

"You mean you and Quinn?"

"Yeah."

Astrid considered just keeping her mouth shut, not pushing it. But this was a talk she neeced to have with Sam sooner or later"! don't think he's going to get over it"

"You don't know him that well"

"He's jealous of you "

"Well, of course I am so terribly handsome," Sam said, straining to make a joke of it.

"He's one kind of person, you're another. When life is going along normally, you're son of the same. But when life turns strange and scary, when there's a crisis, suddenly you're completely different people. It's not Quinn's fault, really but he's not brave. He's not strong. You are."

"You still want me to be the big hero."

"I want you to be who you are" She remained beside Little Pete but reached out to take Sam's hand. "Sam, things are going to get worse. Right now everyone is kind of in a state of shock. They're scared. But they haven't even realized how scared they should be. Sooner or later the food supply runs out. Sooner or later the power plain fails. When we're sitting in the dark, hungry despairing, who's going to be in charge? Caine? Ore? Drake?"

"Well*" he said dryly,"you make it all sound like a lot of fun."

"Okay, I'll stop nagging you," Astrid said, sensing that she needed to back off. She was asking the impossible of this boy she barely knew. But she knew it was the right thing to do.

She believed in him. She knew he had a destiny

She wondered why It wasn't logical, really She didn't believe in destiny All her life Astrid had relied on her brain, on her grasp of facts. Now some part of her she barely knew existed, some buried, neglected part of her mind was urging heron—no good reasons, just an instinct that kept pushing her to push him.

But she was sure.

Sure.

Astrid turned her face toward Little Fete so that Sam wouldn't see the frown of worry on her face, but she didn't release his hand.

She was sure. Like she was answering two plus two. That sure.

She let go of his hand. She tock a deep> shaky breath. And now she was not sure at all. Her frown deepened."Let's go get the groceries" Astrid said.

He was elsewhere, preoccupied, so he didn't notice the way Astrid stared at her own hands, face screwed up in concentration. She wiped her palms on her shorts.

"Yeah," he said. "Better go while we still can."

129 HOURS, 34 MINUTES

"SHOW ME YOUR list" Howard demanded. He was outside the front door of Ralph's grocery, seated in a lawn chair, with his feet propped up on a second chair. He had a small combo TV/DVD playing
Spider-Man X
He barely looked up as they approached.

"I don't have a list," Astrid said.

Howard shrugged. "You need a list. No one goes in without a list."

Sam said,"Okay, do you have a piece of paper and a pencil?"

"It just so happens I do, Sam," Howard said. He fished a small spiral notebook from the pocket of an ill-fitting leather jacket and handed it to Astrid.

She wrote and handed it to Howard.

"You can have all the fresh stuff, like produce, that you want. It's all going to go bad. Ice cream is mostly gone, but there might be some Popsicles." He glanced at Little Pete. "You like the Popsicles, Pe-tard?"

"Get on with it" Sam said.

"If you want canned stuff or, like, pasta or whatever, you have to get special permission from Caine or one of the sheriffs."

"What are you talking about?" Astrid demanded.

*Tm talking about you can have lettuce and eggs and deli and milk because that's all goin^ to expire soon, but we're saving up the stuff like canned soup or whatever that won't spoil."

Astrid admitted, "Okay, that makes sense, I guess."

"Likewise paper products. Everyone gets one roll of toilet paper. So make it last" He glanced at the list again. "Tampons? What size?"

"Shut up," Sam said.

Howard laughed, "Go ahead on in. But Til check everything on the way out, and if it's not okay, I'll make you put it back."

The store was a mess. Before Caine had posted a guard, it had been looted of almost all the snack foods. And the kids who had looted had not been neat or carefuL There were broken jars of mayonnaise, displays turned over, shattered glass from smashed freezer doors.

There were flies everywhere. The place had begun to smell like garbage. Some of the overhead lights had burned out, leaving pockets of gloom. Brightly colored posters still hung over their heads touting specials and price reductions.

Sam grabbed a cart and Astrid lifted Little Pete into the seat.

The flowers in ihe little florist's corner were all looking tired. A dozen Mylar balloons with "Happy Birthday** or Thanksgiving messages on them still floated but were losing altitude.

"Maybe I should look for a turkey" Astrid said, looking at the display of Thanksgiving-related food: pumpkin pie mix, mincemeat, cranberry sauce, turkey basters> stuffing.

"You know how to cook a turkey?"

"I can find instructions online" She sighed, "Or, not. Maybe they have a cookbook around."

"I guess no cranberry sauce,"

"Nothing canned"

Sam walked ahead into the produce section, then stopped, realizing Astrid was still staring at the seasonal display. She was crying.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

Astrid brushed at her tears, but more came. "Grocery shopping was always something the three of us did, my mom and Petey and me. It was a time every week when we could talk. You know, we'd shop kind of slowly and discuss what to eat and talk about other stuff, too. Just casually. I've never been in here without my mom before"

"Me neither"

"It feels weird. It looks the same, but it's not" "Nothing's the same anymore " Sam said. "ttut people still need to eat."

That earned a reluctant smile from Astrid. "Okay. Let's shop."

They picked up lettuce and carrots and potatoes. Sam went behind the counter to lift a pair of steaks and wrap them up in paper. Flies were thick on some cuts of meat that had been left out when the butchers disappeared. But the meat from inside the case seemed untouched.