Gone By (15 page)

“ Let’s look out a hotel to stay in” Isha murmured out.

“That’s a perfect plan”.

We headed on like every other tourist did to move out of the station. Everything felt alright as we proceeded to move on. Isha was very much surprised to see the overwhelming fragrance of the city. Like the two unknown wanderers we were streaming through the subway. Nothing walked off on each other’s mind but the excitement dwelt upon us. I made a halt at a small shop as we moved on by the road side. I cracked out my voice to purchase a bottle of water. Isha kept waiting a few metres away from me. She was shining like the morning blue bird. Her hair spread out in all directions with the sweet blow of the breeze that calmly touched the whole city. We added our steps together now moving on to find the finest hotel at cheaper cost.

At last we came across with reasonable budget. The hotel Panjim Inn situated at the heart of the city. We hired two rooms within the same floor. We were escorted with a better treatment, the help boys helped us to carry our luggage to our respective allotted room. We followed later through the elevator. We were raised to certain heights by now. The door opened up slid side wards of the elevator. Isha stepped out first and I had been following out too. We walked on through the long passage of corridor that finally brought us to the front door of our room. My room was just adjacent to her room. Our belongings reached before us. The rooms keys were handed to us by the hotel service boys.

“So get a rest little, we shall move out  by the evening hours” said Isha.

She unlocked her door and flew inside her room. I waited there until my sight dimmed out to view Isha going inside her room. I opened my locked door and slowly crawled in to my room. I had nothing to do for the morning hours. But the only good idea that struck me on my mind was to complete my diary. I undressed myself to get little rest for a while. Laid quietly on bed with my shuddered vision on my eyes. The television remote was kept on the table. I managed to put out some channels that could entertain the time of leisure hours. That did not connect to my interest for moment. What preceded to my thought was the diary. I quickly searched on for my diary that was safely drawn from my hand bag. Grabbed the pen and opened its page for a while. I could read out the oversize font of Dear Anannya at its first page. I began reading out the lines that I had written in the bus and narrated to Isha. Now I had to write the rest part of my life. But that would be injustice on the part of Isha cause she wanted to hear the tale from my mouth. Well that was not at all a big deal. I would narrate her the rest after I write. In fact, that would be much better Idea to go with. I turned the page where I stopped my pen and began to write the next paragraph. Maybe now I really wanted to change my life and show the world what love was exactly to me. I knew for sure that I was going to write the story of my life since somewhere in the beginning. All I needed was some source of encouragement, which Isha provided to me. And someday if my dreams comes to true Anannya will surely know that I had written about her like I used to write poems for her. She will know the depth of my love for her which she failed to understand. Somewhere deep down she will start missing me like the rain drops in desert. Most probably she may cry out of tears, holding the regrets and the guiltiness and misjudgement she committed. She may perhaps search me anywhere in this world but by then I’ll be gone into another world leaving my footprints behind for her to mourn. My hand started to move on grasping hard the pen I was holding on.

Ten

..............

Now it happened like every hours of the day whenever I spent the time in my school I firstly tried not to take a sight of her, most probably that would haunt me in my heart when I would see her with someone. I keep my finger cross and eyes closed when she passes before me holding her boyfriend’s hand. My days began to grow older whereas her took a new birth. I couldn’t believe Anannya was the only girl I had loved truly from my heart, even today my heart beats for her. Months have passed on, days have clipped off from the calendar till now we both have not spoke to each other since the time we began our schooling together. I knew for sure I had to spent two years with such sufferings and sorrows. In fact, I thought it would be wise enough not to communicate her much for now, cause that would bring no results on my part being a part of her. It is known to me in common, definitely she would not think about me if she had a boyfriend alongside her. What about being a friend that was excellent but that wouldn’t let my heart into self satisfaction cause it wanted more than being a friend. Every part of my life was like an empty vessel now. Felt like love was a curse that resided, crawling the darkness into my bright life. My school life was the same now. Just on the regular basis pretending to attend the lectures the whole day but inside I was a person of some unknown pathetic and emotive freak. I gathered myself with strong enthusiasm to face the rest of my school life. Least bothered about Anannya although I would see her every day. If the heart erupted that would surely make me go weak thinking about her. Every moment I got a glimpse of her it whispered in my heart I Love You which the words failed to reach to her. But before it could, it was swiftly taken away from me by her boyfriend. I had no extreme feelings about her boyfriend. If that was their love I appreciated with humble heart. If that was their dream to be together I prayed they should. If they had any difficulties in their relationship I wished they be fine with each other. If that was all, I firmly wished that Anannya should never get hurt by her boyfriend else it never mattered their love all it would be a fake show of teenage dream. Maybe I couldn’t think much or rather I was not much mature enough to understand but now everything I can reason with true feelings and emotions and the enormous love I have for her.

It was one afternoon I was seated alone at my front desk. My head laid down rested on my arms placed with folded hands on top of my desk. I was quiet tired enough after the practical I had performed that day. My eyes closed and I was almost asleep, lost myself into world of fantasy dreams.

“Are you ok?” suddenly a voice jerked out softly.

I wasn’t aware from it where interrupted me but failed to reply back at first attempt.

“Are you fine” again with a husky tone.

This time I geared up to open my eyes with a thought to look who was it. As I lifted my head to see, I was wonderstruck to stare out. I stood nervous before her, in fact I was afraid to look at her eyes.

“Are you fine” she repeated again.

“Yeah! I’m fine” my voice shook to clear out. That was the first time Anannya spoke to me with slight little concern being a part of her class. Perhaps that day she was alone. Her boyfriend escaped school, so was she in search of new company.

“I thought you were sick, you look pale” said Anannya.

“No..I was quiet tired enough after the practical” I replied her.

She slid in to sit beside me. I helped her to shift the bench that would space her to sit.

“So, your love is absent today” I asked her being little casual.

“What you said...Love?” she grinned.

“Yeah!! I mean your boyfriend”.

“Actually.. you said love it sounded different” she squinted.

Her voice sounded beautiful to my ears. I felt like I was very much engrossed to her. Since the time I fell in love this was the first interaction I was having with her not because of any other reason but there was something that suddenly occurred such occasion between us.

“Oh! My boyfriend is absent today. He said me he’s sick won’t be able to attend the school for today” Said Anannya.

“Since when you’ve been together” I softly hissed.

“Well it’s been more than a year now. We came together long back. I don’t even exactly remember the first time I met him” she smiled.

“That’s ok... you both look fine as a lovely couple”.

“He’s a good person and I trust his heart......So what about you. I know very little about you” her voice squirmed.

“Well, to be honest I’m here for the first time and no new friends yet. Just to complete my higher secondary and hope for a bright future”.

“Anyway you look unknown to everyone. That’s what I was thinking for the last few days” she said softly.

“It’s good to know that I got to know you now” with my slow demand on my voice.

“Where do you stay here” she questioned.

“Uhhh! Few miles away from here...I exactly had no idea of the name but they call it Dakopgre. Some primitive fashioned and traditional name I believe”.

She nodded her head and tried to break out a smile on her face.

“So, what about you. Where do you stay” I hinted her a sort quick gesture with my voice.

“I stay by the super market down the lower road that leads to my home” her voice turned very soft and calm.

That day Anannya was sparkling out very catchy and mesmerising her sweet movements of her eyes gestured attractive. So mesmerizing she had the appearance that finally I was lost into her like more than any other days. Lucky enough to have her beside me with thorough exchange of words which I never expected to be. Although, I knew inside me I loved her a lot, but I didn’t wanted to show the inner core of emotions and the feelings that would revealed on my face. I wanted to say her more things but at times I went nervous. In such cases I took a long breath and emerged out with courage to continue our conversation.

“So, what’s you plan to be in future” I smirked out.

“Well, I have a dream of doing graduation in engineering”.

“That’s wonderful choice of course”.

“They say engineers gets better opportunity...Is that true enough in Job sector” she asked.

“Well.. I have no concrete Idea about the fact but yes a technical background gets more preference”.

“So, what you would like to be”.

I smiled for a while looking at her face. I could judge out that innocent expression she had on her face. Her eyes flared out with charm which was a bound of spell on me. I realized how beautiful she was and the one whom I really had fallen for. No matter what she may be I loved her for what she was. Even I knew, she even don’t know that I  loved her secretly from my heart.

“I would wind up being an engineer too like yours and turned up to fulfil my passion ending up as writer”.

“That was absolutely unbelievable choice” she squished.

“Do you know my name” I asked her casually.

“Yes! Of course I have seen it on the notice board. What about my name” she asked.

“Well, I’ve heard your name called by one of your friend someday earlier. That’s how I came to know”.

She smiled and peeked her eyes sharp at me. I had no freaking idea if a man loves a girl how should he offer the chivalry that needs to be gently portrait before her. Yet inside I was struggling to do so. For I believe I could make it up to her, which she knew very well without much thought as I could her expression she blushed on her face. I felt very relief of my heart ache after that sweet words of exchange with her.

“Hey! I got to check out a copy from sir. I my leave now” she calmly said.

“ Anannya could you get my too please” I asked a favour as she was heading off to  collect the copies towards the staff room above our floor.

She passed a melting smile that touched my inner fabricated heart.

“Sure” she said softly.

I stood there with common state of expression on my face. I never knew she would be so sweet to me. I began to fall more deeper for her now. I kept waiting there on my seat until she would return with the copies. I was in a state of complete euphoria for the rest of the day. Maybe she was the reason that changed my mood. I forethought for a moment with my calm mind what would be her answer if I let her know my deep feelings I was holding about her. I didn’t want to lose the chance of losing her instead I thought of concealing the secret within my heart. Maybe there will come a time when these feelings and emotions will burst out before this world. And that would be the right time When I’ll let her know. Love for me never went simple. I had never fallen in love before neither I had any feelings for anyone. But what was she I knew not. And today all my inner feelings erupted convulsively for someone that finally made me fall in love. After spending the minutes with my lonely thoughts, Anannya came in through the door holding a stack of copies in her hand. She walked towards to me and handed mine.

“So, this is yours” she pulled out from the stack of copies.

The other she started to call out their respective names and began to distribute in the class. She came up and sat beside me.

“Thanks” said I.

“It’s alright. So, for today I guess the rest of the periods are cancelled” said Anannya with her husky tone.

I made a silent glance at her. “ Do you want to go to canteen” I asked her voicing out politely.