Gone With a Handsomer Man (35 page)

She held me still while Estaurado looped a scarf around my ankles. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m doing what I’m doing,” she said. “Just think of it as a black-and-white movie called
They Done Dora Wrong
. Boy, did I get them back.
”

She helped Estaurado tie a better knot, one that lashed my feet together. Then she gripped my shoulders and guided me to the wall.

“Estaurado, run outside and look for a place to dig a hole,” she said.

“Hole?”

“A grave.” She waved her hands. “Cemetery. Day of the Dead.”

“
S
í.” He raised his hands and dug an imaginary hole.

After he left, Dora shut the bathroom door and turned back to me. “All I ever wanted in life was a pink house,” she said. “When I first came to Charleston, I took a carriage ride down Rainbow Row and fell smack in love with the Spencer-Jackson. It was so
me
. I found out who owned it. I put the moves on Rodney, but he was such a disappointment. After the honeymoon, he gave me a mile-long ‘honey-do’ list. Like I was his administrative assistant. Can you believe the gall of those Jackson men?”

I started to shake my head, then decided I’d better nod.

“Rodney knew how much I wanted to live south of Broad,” she said. “Queen Street is just too far north for my taste—and it’s not pink. But he wouldn’t give me what I wanted. One morning he was watching
Fox News
, all reared back in his leather chair. I thought to myself, ‘Dora, get rid of his ass.’ So I tased him. He didn’t pass out, but he was paralyzed. He watched me put that ziplock bag over his head. I used the gallon size. Worked like a charm, too. He couldn’t fight back.”

A buzzing started in my head, like bees in an orchard. She was going to kill me just like she’d killed the others; but I wasn’t ready to leave this world. I wanted my chance with Coop. I wanted to see him on the beach, backlit by sky and water. All my life, I’d been mindful of lies, maybe because I’d never told the truth about Coop: He was the one I’d always love. And now I wouldn’t get to tell him.

“That left Uncle Elmer,” Dora was saying. “By then, I’d hired Estaurado. He dumped Elmer’s body in the harbor. I’d hoped Elmer’s death would end it. I pleaded with Bing to trade houses with me—Queen Street for the Spencer-Jackson. I won’t repeat the cruel things he said. So I hatched out a plot. But there was one little problem. I really liked you, Teeny. And believe me, I don’t like most people. I didn’t want to kill you. I just wanted you to catch Bing in flagrante delicto. So I brought in Natalie.”

I realized I was holding my breath. I released a burst of air.

“She was my dead sister’s daughter,” she said. “Come to think of it, Natalie didn’t favor Gloria one bit.”

She was referring to Natalie in the past tense. I started to blurt the truth, that Natalie was alive and in the hospital, but I caught myself. If Dora knew a loose end existed, she would fix it.

“You want to know how stupid Estaurado is?” She twirled her hand airily. “He thought Bing and Natalie were cousins—just because I was married to Bing’s father! Imagine anyone thinking I was a blood relation to that little asshole Bing.”

The droning in my head got louder. I lifted my bound hands and pressed them against my right ear, trying to hold in the buzz and muffle Dora’s words, but she kept on talking.

“I thought for sure you’d find out that Bing and Natalie were lovers.” Dora peered into the mirror and fluffed her bangs. “Then you’d follow the peach trees home just like Dorothy followed the yellow brick road. But you didn’t. So Natalie brought in that redheaded whore. My Lord—you caught him with two women and you still didn’t run. You fought like a street urchin. So I had to switch plans. I put you at the Spencer-Jackson.”

“But if you wanted the house, why did you put me there?” I cried.

“To keep an eye on you. And so you could look after the house. But then Natalie got ahead of herself and didn’t follow my plan. When a plan goes awry, it opens the door for errors.”

Dora lifted the inhaler. “I’ll give you one little puff if you’ll be good.”

I nodded. She fit the mouthpiece between my lips. A second later, the Ventolin hissed out. I drew it in and held my breath. She set the inhaler on the counter and scratched her arms, leaving streaks in the white ointment.

“Better?” she asked.

I nodded.

“See? I’m not a bad person. But you’ll need your breath to tell me where Bing put his deeds.” She patted my arm. “I hope you know that I never meant for Natalie to put the Spencer-Jackson up for sale. Natalie did it behind my back. Bing went wild when he found out. He broke up with her and claimed he still loved you. But I didn’t believe it for a second.”

Tears burned my eyes.

“After that,” she continued, “we had to kill Bing sooner than we’d intended. It was Natalie’s idea to set you up for the murder—which was a pretty good solution, actually. You wouldn’t have to die. And your housing problem would be permanently solved. But I didn’t count on you finding a new boyfriend.”

A tear dripped off my chin. “Did you take that photograph of me and Coop?” I asked.

“That was Estaurado’s handiwork. I knew you were supposed to meet Bing at McTavish’s—I had your phone tapped, darlin’. So I sent the Spanish bastard to take photographs.”

“But why would you want pictures?”

“If you gave me trouble, I’d have proof you violated the restraining order. But I wouldn’t have mailed the photos till after Bing was dead—they’d let the police know you were their girl.” She paused. “Any more questions?”

“Were you calling me and hanging up?”

“How can you even think such a thing? Natalie called you once—well, that’s what she claimed. She was trying to scare you out of the Spencer-Jackson.” Dora bent closer to the mirror and ran her fingers over her swollen face. “But I
am
guilty of sending your kissing pictures to the DA. The last thing you needed was a boyfriend who knew the law.”

Right. It was the last thing
she’d
needed. I cleared my throat. “You stole the pink tasseled key chain, didn’t you?”

“Wrong again.” She turned. “I distracted you in the garden so Natalie could steal it. She wanted your fingerprints on that key—odd that it never turned up. Natalie was the lady in the hat and sunglasses—the one the repairman saw. You thought it was Bing’s sister, didn’t you?”

I nodded, but I’d suspected Ava, too.

“Natalie returned my pretty tassel, and we continued with our plan. But first, we had to lure you to Bing’s house.”

“You sent the fake text message?” I asked.

“Darlin’, I wouldn’t know how to text if my life depended on it. Natalie did it.”

“How’d she know I’d respond to it?”

“Because I know you, Teeny. It would have gone off without a hitch if I’d been there.”

“You didn’t kill him?”

“What do you take me for?” She rolled her eyes. “I sent Natalie and Estaurado to Bing’s house. During the struggle with Bing, she broke a fingernail. She waited till you got there. Estaurado stun-gunned you, and Natalie texted herself from your phone. All that stupid bitch could think about was her manicure. She actually called the nail salon from Bing’s house—how stupid is that?”

“Totally,” I said.

“I’ll say.” Dora rolled her eyes. “Before Natalie left, she told Estaurado to take care of everything. He was supposed to put the revolver in your hand and fire it into a kitchen cabinet. The Spanish bastard misunderstood. He put the revolver in your hand, all right, but he didn’t fire a bullet. He brought the damn gun back to my house. Flambéed it on my gas grill. I saw the smoke from my kitchen window.”

Dora waved her hand. “He thought ‘revolver’ meant ‘to turn something over.’” How was I supposed to know that? I looked it up later. Apparently some Spanish words sound like English. You’d swear they mean the same things, but they’re different. They’re called
falsos amigos
—false friends. Get it?”

More than false
, I thought.

“Darlin’, the bottom line is you didn’t have gunpowder residue on your hands. And the darn murder weapon was blackened. I was so mad. I ordered Natalie to go back to Savannah. But she wouldn’t leave. She wanted to sell the Spencer-Jackson and divide the money. Naturally I went along and worked behind the scenes.”

“But Natalie sold the house to the Randolphs,” I said.

“Poo, I wasn’t worried about them. I had papers that would stop that sale in a heartbeat. I was more concerned about Natalie. When a partner gets greedy, you’ve got problems. If I hadn’t tapped your phone, I wouldn’t have known the half of it.”

“Who hung that stuffed dog from my chandelier?” I asked.

“Natalie wanted you out of the house. She paid Estaurado to hang it. Isn’t he the handiest thing?” Dora picked up a washcloth and wiped her fingerprints off the medicine cabinet. “By the way, it’s not
your
chandelier.”

“No, ma’am.”

“I don’t know what got into Natalie. She’s always been so obedient. But she got spooked. She thought we needed to get the money and leave Charleston. She planted evidence at the Spencer-Jackson, then she decided to kill you. The evidence would be the icing on the cake if you’d committed suicide—or better yet, if you’d disappeared. So she called you, offering to exchange her sex tape for your cookbook.”

“
She
stole my family cookbook?” That was the surprise? “Why didn’t she mention it?”

“Oh, she just loved being mysterious. But she had no intention of returning your book. I think she meant to keep it.” Dora dropped the washcloth into her handbag. “I was shocked at you, Teeny. Those recipes are pure evil. Toxins aren’t playthings. Have you ever watched someone die of cyanide poisoning?”

I shook my head.

“Well, it’s not pleasant.” She picked up the Lanacane tube and rubbed more ointment on her arms. “Speaking of which, Natalie was going to serve you coffee and poisoned peach pie.”

I remembered seeing a pie on Natalie’s kitchen table and broken crockery on the floor.

“She’d planned to kill you and the redhead.” Dora put the itch medicine into her handbag. “I knew you’d been delayed by the Randolphs and their designer, so I hurried over. When I arrived, Faye was on the floor, having convulsions.”

Dora picked up the red Hear No Evil figurine and pitched it against the wall. The Sheetrock dented and china fragments skittered along the floor. “My stupid niece had ruined things again. I had no choice but to kill her.”

But you didn’t kill her
, I thought.

“Of course, if Natalie had lived, I’m sure she’d say
I
brought that pie and forced the redhead to eat it.” Dora opened a drawer, pulled out a hairbrush, and ran it through her hair. Because her face was so red, her eyes looked bluer than usual and craziness jumped out of them.

I pulled in a deep breath. Now that I could get air, I began to think about escape. I rubbed my wrists together, trying to loosen the scarves.

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” Dora asked, teasing her hair.

“What if I hadn’t come to your house?”

“But you did.” She put the brush in her purse.

“Yes, but if I hadn’t. What then?”

“Do you really have to ask?” Dora picked up the yellow monkey, See No Evil. “But the stars were aligned. You ran straight to me. I couldn’t have planned it better myself.”

A jolt of déjà vu swept through me, and I felt as if I’d been here many times, watching Dora and the three monkeys. Again and again, I saw her smash each one.

“Isn’t this monkey hideous?” She swung it against the counter. The monkey’s head broke off and hit the floor. “Just hideous,” she said.

I was just like that monkey. Nothing more than an object, like a lamp, or pillow sham, to be used and discarded.

“Now, all I have to do is dispose of you and present a new trust to Quentin. And I’ll be in the Spencer-Jackson before Christmas.” Dora leaned forward. “Do you want to hear how I plan to decorate it?”

“No.”

“Well, just
be
that way.” She reached under her suit jacket and scratched her midsection. “I’m tired of this conversation. I’m going to let you decide how you want to die. Do you prefer cyanide or a bullet? I brought both. It’s your choice. But if I were you, I’d pick the cyanide. It’s over in three minutes, and it’s less messy.” Dora picked up a soap and smelled it. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a decent poison in this town? And not leave a trail?”

The door creaked open, and Estaurado stepped into the room. Dora reached for the inhaler. “One last time,” she said. “Where are Bing’s deeds?”

“Give me the Ventolin and I’ll tell you.”

She shook her head. “Talk. Then you breathe.”

“Okay, they’re in the garage. Hidden.” A lie, but I refused to put it in the tally.

“Show me, darlin’.”

“How? I’m hog-tied.”

“Untie her ankles, Estaurado.”

He squatted, and his cool fingers moved over the scarves.

“Please, my inhaler,” I begged.

Dora set it on the floor, then stomped it. The cartridge shot out and the plastic casing shattered. She reached into her purse and pulled out a stubby gun. It was small like Ava’s.

“Lead the way, sugar lump.” She waved the gun toward the garage. “Just lead the way.”

forty-six

Estaurado shoved me into the kitchen. I stopped beside the counter to catch my breath and glanced out the window. The driveway was empty. Coop wasn’t coming; he didn’t know I was here. Either the call hadn’t gone through or he hadn’t heard me over the booming music.

If I had one hope of surviving, I had to stay calm and try to outsmart Dora. She reached down and clawed her legs, her nails tearing her panty hose.

“My skin is absolutely raw, thanks to you,” she said. “I’ll end up in the hospital if we don’t hurry.”

Estaurado cut in front of me, and I fell back against the intercom. The stereo system clicked on, and the Beatles started singing “I’m Looking Through You.”

“Hurry up,” Dora said.

Estaurado opened the door to the hot garage. He gripped the back of my neck and steered me down the steps. I shuffled to a Peg-Board where tools hung from metal hooks. This fake treasure hunt wouldn’t fool Dora for long. I inched my way toward the side door that led to the driveway. My hands were still bound, so I didn’t know how far I’d get, but I was out of options.