Gonzo (Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club Book 7) (23 page)

G
onzo

Y
ou know
it was good when you fuck her unconscious.

I knew she was okay — her scent told me she was exhausted but oh-so-happy, and completely relaxed, so I only had to hold her and wait for her brain to catch up. I
changed
both hands to clean them, rolled her to her back and put a pillow under her knees, and then stretched out beside her with my head propped on my hand to watch her.

Fuck, but she was beautiful with smeared makeup and wild sexy hair.

And I was going to have to buy some butt plugs and then show up at her house a few times a week and make her wear them through dinner, and maybe through the night if she did okay with them.

I wasn’t sure what we’d tell the twins when we went upstairs alone for me to insert them, and I knew we’d have to be quiet and not say what we were doing or they’d hear, but we’d figure that out later because it was
going
to happen.

Connie’s eyes fluttered open and I said, “Welcome back.”

“I passed out?”

“Something like that, but nothing to worry about — your last orgasm was a doozy.”

She rolled her eyes. “I think they all were. The last was something way beyond
doozy
.”

I kissed her forehead and she said, “I need to use the restroom.”

“Take your time standing up. If you’re shaky I’ll walk with you.”

“No, I’m fine.”

She realized how shaky she was as she stood, but I could smell her regaining control of her body. She’s run marathons so it was no surprise she figured it out. Still I went to the refrigerator and retrieved the fruit tray, and had it on the bed munching strawberries when she returned.

She came back wearing one of the thick hotel robes, and kissed my cheek as she sat beside me. “Thanks for putting everything together the way you did. It was perfect.”

I popped a kiwi ball into her mouth and warned, “Just so you know, you’re not always going to get this treatment for dates, but I wanted tonight to be special.”

“I don’t want to hide this from the twins, but I worry what it might do to them emotionally if we decide this isn’t going to work out between us.”

“We’ll figure that out tomorrow over breakfast,” I told her. “Tonight, it’s just us and the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”

C
onnie

I
awakened
in Gonzo’s arms the next morning and luxuriated in the way he held me in his sleep. I wished I dared turn around so I could watch him sleep, but I knew he’d awaken at my smallest move.

As memories of the night before assailed me, I wondered if I could create a drug to help women who have trouble orgasming. What if their problem was their mind wandering, and they didn’t have a Gonzo who was good enough to keep them focused? Could I formulate a drug that would keep the sexual center of their brain engaged once it was stimulated? Or, perhaps there was another reason some women have trouble reaching orgasm, and it might only help a small percentage. I ran through the possible studies I’d need to put together to figure it out, and made a mental note to send the proposal to our research team.

I sighed as I realized no matter how much I loved the warmth and safety of Gonzo’s arms, I had to pee and my bladder wasn’t going to take ‘
later’
for an answer any longer.

Gonzo awakened and insisted on a quick kiss before he let me go, and I realized just how sore I was as I made my way to the bathroom. I’d expected to be tender from being stretched open, but I hadn’t counted on the friction wearing the first couple of layers of skin away. Or, that’s the way it felt, anyway.

But I didn’t know
anything
about being sore until I peed, and I found out exactly how raw I was. It took my breath away and I clamped down and stopped midstream, but then had to force myself to finish up because there was no way to avoid it.

I wiped oh-so-gingerly, and then realized I’d left my robe on a chair near the bed. I figured Gonzo wasn’t going to wear the one set aside for him, so I put it on before coming out of the bathroom.

Gonzo was looking over the room service menu, and he asked, “Do you want to have breakfast delivered here, or would you rather get ready and go downstairs?”

“I was hoping for morning sex but I’m afraid there’s no way.”

He grinned. “I know. We overdid it last night but you’ll get used to me. I’m sorry you’re hurting, but I don’t regret getting you this way.”

I shook my head at him with a grin. “You wanted to stop after the first round — I’m the one who pushed you to the second, and you
warned
me I was going to be sore.”

He waved a menu at me and I said, “I take it you’re hungry, which means ordering it up here will probably be fastest.” I looked over the menu and told him I wanted country ham, fried eggs, biscuits and gravy, and a side of grits.

He wrinkled his nose at the grits. “Damn, but you’re Southern through and through when it comes to food.”

I grabbed my bag and headed for the bathroom again. “I’ll get a shower while you’re ordering.”

G
onzo

T
he room service
people put a tablecloth on the table in our room and set it all formal before they arranged the food. I’d put jeans on but was still shirtless, and Connie came out of the bathroom in jeans and a cute little t-shirt that plunged low so I could see the top of her cleavage.

Her outfit made me want to put a leather jacket and riding boots on her, sit her on the back of my bike, and take off for parts unknown.

I reminded myself it would all happen in good time as I tipped the wait staff and closed the door behind them.

We ate in silence a few moments — I was starving and the wolf needed food, and based on the fact I’d ordered enough food for three people, I’m sure she’d figured it out.

When I set the first empty plate aside and pulled the second to me, she said, “Everything’s changed for me. If you tell me last night was just another night of sex for you and nothing special, I’ll deal with it, but I really hope that wasn’t the case.”

How could she even think…
shit
. We were back to Sandy again.

I shook my head and stared at my plate while I figured out what to say. The thought of giving my heart to a woman again scared the fuck out of me, but the thought of losing
this
women broke my heart, which meant I was already too far gone to back out now. With a sigh, I realized I was ready to jump in with both feet. She belonged to me, it was only fair I gave myself to her, too.

“We have a lot to figure out, and we have to form a plan so we present this to the twins the right way, but as far as I’m concerned, you’re mine now. If you didn’t have a house I’d move you into mine, but we both own houses so we’ll have to figure some shit out.” She wasn’t arguing, so I gave her the rest of it. “I’m prepared to tell you I won’t fuck anyone but you, and you
have
to know this means I’ll expect us to be in the same bed at night when I’m not working.”

She put her fork down, leaned back, and considered me a few seconds. “I hadn’t expected all that. I worry it sounds too good to be true, and I also worry you’re just getting close to me so you can spend more time with the twins.”

The wolf growled before I could stop him and I saw her shrink back, but I didn’t care. “If I wanted to spend more time with my kids and I didn’t want you in my life and theirs, you’d have been served papers by now saying I wanted full custody. If you have no better opinion of me than to think I’d lie about feelings I haven’t
dared
feel in over a fucking
decade
then maybe I was wrong about you.”

I grabbed my plate and fork as I stood, and didn’t even glance at her as I walked to the window and ate standing.

I heard her stand and I said, “No, stay over there. Sometimes I don’t trust myself not to lash out.”

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. This is new to me and I just worry it’s been too easy. Maybe it’s supposed to be easy when you find the right person, but I’m falling in love with you and I guess I just need reassurance the feeling is mutual.”

“I’m having the twins’ last names changed to mine when I have my name added to the birth certificates. Sam will take care of having their social security accounts updated, but either you or I will have to change the paperwork at their school and daycare. I figure the year’s almost finished at preschool so we won’t bother them with it, but their registration for kindergarten will have to be fixed.”

C
onnie

H
e was
beyond pissed and I had a feeling he was trying to pick an argument. I wasn’t happy about their names changing, but I understood it so I merely said, “Okay, we’ll figure it out.”

He kept eating and I said, “I’ve told you I’m sorry — is there something I should do to apologize to the wolf? Did I hurt you both?”

Finally, he turned around and my heart sank as I saw the closed, guarded look on his face.

“You told me the twins are in gymnastics, but I never see them doing somersaults or handstands against the wall.”

“They got so carried away with practicing what they’d learned in class, I worried for their safety. When Declan did a handstand and landed sideways on a table and bruised some ribs, I forbid them from doing anything from class at home again. We don’t have the cushions or the padded floors, and we have furniture they can hurt themselves on.”

“I want to either take them and stay and watch, or go with you when you take them.”

I hesitated because I worried about how their peer group might treat them if they — and their parents — knew the twins’ dad was a biker. However, as soon as the thought went through my mind I realized how Gonzo would view it, so I nodded and told him, “We can all go together the first time, and if you want to take them without me once I’ve introduced you, let me know.”

I’m not sure how he knew, but somehow I’m positive he had an idea why I’d hesitated because the next thing he asked was something I’d been dreading, and had hoped to keep from him.

“I’m assuming there’ll be some sort of graduation ceremony from preschool?”

I
had
to say something, now, because he needed to understand how his presence could affect their future. “The people who decide which children are accepted into the school I’m trying to get them into next year will be there, and we receive notice two days later. Everyone knows they make their final decisions based on end-of-year preschool grades as well as which kids get their attention in a positive way during the ceremony.”

“You’re afraid my presence will hurt their chances.”

“I know what kind of person you are. I know who you are on the inside, but they’re only going to see your rough exterior and will think the worst. It isn’t fair, but you have to know it’s how society works.”

He nodded. “I’m coming to their graduation. I hope you’ll trust I’ll do right by my kids since I know this is important to their future.”

I really had no choice but to nod my head. If he’d set his mind to coming there’d be no way to keep him from it. I couldn’t imagine him shaving, cutting his hair, and wearing a suit — but I figured I should let him know what the other fathers would be wearing. “You’ve let me know when to dress down and when it’s okay to dress up if I want, so I’ll return the favor and tell you the other fathers will be in suit and ties, and will all have professional haircuts.” I held my hand up to stop him before he spoke. “I’m not telling you what to wear, I’m just letting you know what to expect.”

“Thanks for the heads up.” He walked back to the table, pushed the remaining food on his current plate into the center of his next plate, and pulled it in front of him as he took his seat.

I sat back down as well, and after we’d both eaten a few bites without conversation, I said, “I like my house. How attached are you to your house?”

“I think the question is whether you’re so attached to your house you wouldn’t want me to come in and change some rooms so they fit my personality as well.”

My first response was shock that he’d want to change anything, but as soon as I thought it, I realized he was right.

“I’m attached to the kitchen and dining room, but I wouldn’t mind you completely redoing the den. I don’t think I’d want the foyer changed, but would be open to suggestions. The other rooms… I’d be okay with you making small changes, bringing your things in to put on shelves or whatever.”

“So, you’re pretty attached.”

“I think I might be more attached to you.”

“I’ve done a lot of work in my yard and I’d hate to leave it. Also, only MC members can own houses on our street, and we own the land around us so we can expand out to other streets. There’s safety and brotherhood, being around and close to each other. I’ll miss that, and the kids will miss out on being able to play with other kids like them in the street without worry of being hit by a car.” He shrugged. “I’m willing to move in with you on a temporary basis until we figure it out. It’s the kids’ home and we shouldn’t give them too many changes at once, but I have a feeling our answer might be to sell both of our houses and start out new in a house that’s ours from the get-go.”

As much as I’d hate to leave my house, I had a feeling he might be right.

G
onzo

W
e walked
in the front door holding hands as if we’d been doing it all along. Angelica noticed, but the twins didn’t seem to as they came running to us — Chloe to me and Declan to Connie, and then they switched.

We’d talked until time to check out, and while we’d gotten a lot resolved, there was still much to figure out. Still, we had a short-term plan and I was happy with where we were now.

“We were good!” Chloe practically shouted.

“We get to go to a waterfall!” Declan chimed in just as the last word left Chloe’s mouth.

I put my arm around Connie and pulled her to me. “Your Aunt Constance is a little tired today, but I’ll keep my promise and we’ll go see one, there just won’t be a lot of hiking to get to it.”

Chloe and Declan immediately looked more concerned than I thought normal as they both went to her and took a hand, “Are you okay Aunt Constance? Why are you tired?”

“I’m better than I can remember being in a long time, but I stayed up way past my bedtime last night. I can’t wait to see the waterfall your daddy’s going to take us to.” She chuckled as she noted they already had their boots on.

I hugged Angelica as I said, “Thanks for staying last night and watching them. I’m assuming they’re correct when they say they behaved?”

“We had a lot of fun playing, and when I said it was time for bed they went right away without arguing.”

“And this morning?” Connie asked. She didn’t look happy and I wasn’t sure what was up, but when Angelica leaned into me as she answered, I realized Connie was jealous.

“Oh, they brought me things I needed to make breakfast and were a big help. I’ll come stay with them anytime Bash will be working most of the night, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind coming with me to watch them if you need some time away on a night he’s off.”

Angelica had picked up on it, too, and I was almost certain she’d inserted Bash into the conversation to remind Connie she wasn’t a threat.

“We can figure that out later — I’m just glad last night went off without a hitch. I was almost afraid we’d come back to find out you’d souped-up their bikes,” I said with a grin.

She pushed at me and stepped toward Connie. “Just let me know if you need someone again and we’ll figure out a time.” Connie didn’t know what to do at first when Tink hugged her, but she put her arms around her to hug her back as she looked at me like she needed rescuing.

Next came hugs for the kids, and then she was out the door and it was just the four of us.

I sent Connie upstairs to get her hiking boots while I put together snacks and drinks for the twins, and we were on the road within thirty minutes.

When Chloe had called Tink
Princess Jellica
, it’d reminded me of the Jellicle cats. I’m not big into musicals, but we’d taken Clara and Nicky to see a production of
Cats
and we’d all been mesmerized. I don’t want to duplicate too many shared experiences, but I decided to make an exception with this, so I told the twins all about the various cats on the way to the falls, and told them bits and pieces of the story.

I took them to Bald River Falls, and stopped on the bridge so they could get the best view before we parked. It’s possible to climb on the rocks all around and almost inside the falls, but I couldn’t hold the twins’ hands and Connie’s, so I set them up rock hopping in the shallows, and then stood with Connie while we watched.

“I never imagined you’d be a big
Cats
fan.”

I shrugged. “It’s a long story, and one I can tell you later.” I turned to her and pushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. “I’m going to hug the women I’m close to, and you’re going to have to be okay with it. Most of them are married, but I need you to trust that when I hug someone besides you — it’s just a hug.”

She nodded. “It just caught me off guard this morning. I’ll do better.”

“If something bothers you then we need to talk it out. Maybe not right in the moment, but later when we’re alone I need you to let me know if something bothered you and I didn’t pick up on it. Those little things grow and fester and cause bigger problems later.”

I’d had the kids in my peripheral vision, but Chloe moved out of my sight and I turned to check on her. She was following the big kids on rocks I hadn’t shown her how to navigate, but she watched what they did so she was handling it okay.

Until she wasn’t, and she fell in the water. I went from rock to rock until I got to her and helped her up. The water had only been about ten inches deep, but it’d been enough to soak her.

I stood her on a rock close to the one I was standing on and bent down to her level. “I love your adventurous spirit, but it’s usually best to stick to the places I’ve shown you.”

“Am I in trouble, Daddy?”

Her lower lip quivered so pathetically, and I knew it was a combination of being cold and embarrassed, but it still tugged at my heartstrings. “I think falling in the water was lesson enough. Let’s go see what we can do about getting you warm.”

Declan had gone to Connie and was watching us with concern on his little face. I walked back without holding Chloe’s hand — she’d gotten herself out here so she needed to get herself back. If she fell in the water again she wasn’t going to get any wetter than she already was.

I turned to watch her once I was back on dry land, and she was a whole lot more cautious coming back. Her wariness almost made her fall a few times, but she finally made it back without help.

“I didn’t think to bring a change of clothes this time, did you?” I asked Connie.

She shook her head as she looked Chloe over.

“I have a blanket in the trunk. We can undress her in the car and wrap it around her in the car seat, and I can run into a laundromat and stick her clothes in the dryer.”

An hour later we were finally all seated in a restaurant with Chloe warm and dry. I’d ended up buying her another outfit as well as new shoes because waterproof boots are miserable to wear if you get water inside them through the top.

The twins ate enough for three adults and the waitress couldn’t get over how much food they went through. Meanwhile, we got to hear all about their time with Tink last night and this morning.

When they finished with their story, I looked at Connie and hoped she realized which conversation I was going to bring up.

“I have some exciting news. Your Aunt Constance and I talked last night and this morning, and we’ve decided I’m going to stay at your house a while. Brain and Dawg are going to help me move some of my things and most of my clothes tomorrow, and your aunt is going to clean out a closet for me in the guest room across the hall from her room.”

We were in a booth and Chloe was beside me, and she jumped up so she was standing on the seat and wrapped her arms around my neck, so excited she apparently couldn’t find words.

Declan hugged his aunt and said, “So you’ll be able to tuck us in every night?!”

“I wish I could, but I work at night sometimes so I might not always be home when you go to bed. It means we’ll get to see a whole lot more of each other, though.”

“Which bedroom will be yours? Will you be upstairs, or are you going to sleep downstairs like Gramps?”

I looked at Connie and she said, “We’re going to see how it works if he stays in my bedroom with me.”

Chloe’s arms went around me even tighter as she said, “Just like a real mommy and daddy?”

“No, Chloe,” I told her. “We’re a real family even when we aren’t all living together. I’m
so
excited I’ll get to stay with ya’ll a while, but my living with you won’t be what makes us a real family.”

“I love you daddy.”

She said it so soft, but with so much emotion, I wrapped my arms tighter around her and said, “I love you too, my little Chloe-bug.” I looked to Declan. “You too, Declan. I love you both so much it makes me want to hold on and never let go.”

Connie lifted him over her and set him on the floor so he could walk to me, and I helped him up so we could have a three-person hug. I closed my eyes as emotions washed over me. It took me a good minute before I trusted my voice enough to ask, “Okay, who wants dessert?”