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The kiss, when it came, was worth
the wait. Their
mouths met and melded, preliminaries
ignored in a
frantic attempt to know each other
completely.
She tightened her arms around his
neck, and he
gathered her closer against him.
This kiss that made up
for all the years when she had
thought she would never
again know this kind of physical
chemistry. Dates
endured only because it didn't seem
normal for someone
her age not to go out once in a
while. Kissing should be
this, an act of intimacy that
signals rightness, that
prompts an instant internal
awareness that says,
This is
where I belong.
In his arms, the message felt as
impossible to deny as
the stars in the sky.
The kisses became more urgent, their
body language
communicating more clearly than
words that it wasn't
enough. He drew back and looked into
her eyes. “Are
you sure this is what you want,
Colby?
“Yes, she said.
“I'm sure.
To her surprise, he picked her up
and continued
kissing her while he carried her
though the living room
and down the hallway. Cradled
against his chest, she kept
her arms around his neck, one hand
laced through his
hair.
He stopped at the first door on the
left, and they
reluctantly pulled apart long enough
to give their
surroundings a cursory glance.
Shadows draped the
room, but the enormous bed in the
center of the floor
was impossible to ignore.
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GOOD GUYS LOVE DOGS
“Candles, Ian
said.
Colby shook her head. “Phoebe
thinks of
everything.
He smiled and set her down at the
side of the bed.
He kissed her again, long and slow,
one hand at the base
of her spine, massaging, enticing,
the other winding
through the back of her hair.
“Don't go anywhere, he
said, his voice uneven.
Smiling, she said, “Phoebe
probably has a booby trap
rigged to go off if I step back out
that door.
He laughed.
Maybe she loved that most about him.
The sound of
his laughter, a sound she would like
to know for the rest
of her life. Over the breakfast
table. In crowded movie
theaters. At night just before she
fell asleep.
The enormity of the admission hit
her then. She
loved him. Loved him as she had
never loved any other
man. She loved him for his
generosity. For changing his
life for his son. For passing those
grits around at the
church breakfast when he'd never
even heard of them
before. For loving his dogs. He was
a genuinely good
man, and regardless of what happened
here tonight, or
how things ended up, she loved him.
How simple that
was. How profound.
Ian had found a match and lit the
oversize candle on
the nightstand. The scent of
honeysuckle drifted toward
her.
Candlelight danced across their
skin, and she grew
warm with longing. Ian reached for
the hem of her
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sweater and pulled it over her head.
Beneath it, she wore
a white cotton blouse. He undid the
buttons and brushed
it open with the back of his hand.
His fingers trailed the length of
her jaw, hesitated at
the tip of her chin, then made a
line down her throat.
A sigh of pleasure escaped Colby's
parted lips. He
kissed the column of her throat, his
mouth following the
same trail his fingers had just
taken. She began
unbuttoning his shirt, the backs of
her fingers grazing the
hair-roughened skin of his chest.
Halfway down, she
yanked the shirttail from his pants,
then undid the last
few buttons and pushed it off him.
She let her eyes have their fill of
him. He was a
beautiful man. No other word for it.
Fit and finely built.
With wide shoulders and narrow hips,
the kind made for
blue jeans. His skin was still brown
from the work he'd
been doing outdoors in the fall.
They kissed again, and a wave of
sudden self-
consciousness assaulted her. It had
been a long, long time
since she'd been with a man. What if
he didn't find her
attractive? What if. . . .
“Colby, you're so
beautiful.
Under his appreciative gaze, she
felt
beautiful.
Powerful in the way a woman feels
when a man looks at
her with desire in his eyes.
She kissed him then. Wrapped her
arms around his
waist, while an orchestra of emotion
struck up inside her.
Need of the most overwhelming kind
lent urgency to
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their movements and sent them
toppling back onto the
bed behind them.
The mattress dipped, their
clumsiness lightening the
intensity between them. They both
laughed, breathless.
When their laughter faded, they
watched each other,
assessing, appreciating.
“You scare me,
Colby, he said. “You're everything I
didn't know I wanted. I'd like to
believe that means we
were meant to be.
She pressed her lips to his temple
and closed her
eyes, tears seeping through her
lashes.
He pushed a strand of hair back from
her forehead,
his fingers lingering in a gentle
caress. He walked to the
door and turned the lock, and when
he returned to the
king-size bed, she opened her arms
to him.
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50
ummed. Lena had no other word for
it.
BMilie got sick at the movie, a
virus or something.
Mrs. Mitchell had driven Lena home,
since there wasn't
much point in her staying the night
if Mil ie spent most of it
in the bathroom. Ever since Lena
confronted her with
spreading gossip about Luke, Mil ie
had been working
overtime to make up for it. She'd
felt terrible about ruining
their afternoon. Lena agreed not to
hold it against her as
long as she kept her word from now
on.
Lena arrived home to find a note
from her mom on
the kitchen counter saying that
she'd gone out to the lake to
pick up Phoebe. That was just like
her. Lena wasn't even
supposed to be home tonight, and
she'd stil left a note just
in case she came by and wondered
where she was. How
many kids had moms like that? A
yearning for things to be
like they used to be swept over her.
She thought about
what Luke said at the party last
night. Maybe he was right.
Maybe she hadn't handled things like
she should have. Was
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knowing her father worth ruining the
relationship she'd had
with her mom?
The question nagged at her as she
went into the den
and looked for the TV section of the
newspaper, not finding
it in any of the usual places. She
peered out the window
and saw the paper sticking out of
the box. She put on her
shoes and sprinted outside to get
it. While she was there, she
checked the mailbox and found
several letters inside.
Just as she turned to head back up
the driveway, she
spotted the corner of an envelope
sticking up from the
edge of the brick flowerbed that
served as the base of the
mail box. She bent down and picked
it up, then threw it on
top of the other mail. In the house,
she tossed it al on the
kitchen table and leafed through the
paper until she found
the TV section. Nothing on worth
watching.
She put down the paper, the letter
on top of the pile of
mail catching her eye. A plain white
envelope, addressed to
her mom and marked Personal and
Confidential. She held
it up to the light. No return
address.
It was wrong to open it. The last
time she'd read
something that didn't belong to her,
she'd wished she'd
left the letter where she found it.
A strong voice told her to
leave the letter alone. But like
Pandora, she couldn't help
herself. It was from her father. She
knew it.
She got a pot out of the bottom of
the stove and put
some water on to boil. The minutes
ticked by like molasses
from a cold jar until finally enough
steam rose from the pot
to loosen the seal on the envelope.
She slid the letter out and
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unfolded it, her heart thumping too
hard, her hands
clammy.
Colby,
I know I'm a coward for getting
back to you this way. But, as you
know, confrontations were never
my strength. I've gone over and over this
during the past weeks, and I keep
coming to the same conclusion. Lena
is your daughter. I have a family
of my own, and I can't bring myself
to jeopardize what I have by tel
ing them that I have a daughter they
never knew existed.
I think it's best if we just
leave things as they've been. Since Lena
has never met me, she can't be
hurt by my decision. I trust you to
explain this to her in the best
way you can.
Doug
Lena flung the letter away from her
as if it had scorched
her fingers. It fluttered to the
floor like a fal en angel, and
she stood staring at it, unable to
believe what she'd just
read.
He didn't want anything more to do
with her now than
he had sixteen years ago. Her
stomach heaved. She ran to the
bathroom and threw up until dry
retching sounds echoed the
emptiness inside her. She sat on the
cool tile floor, her left
arm and forehead resting on the side
of the bathtub.
What was wrong with her? What had
she ever done to
make him hate her so much?
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She sat there, miserable and
crushed. When she final y
got up from the floor, she wiped her
face with a cool
washcloth and then went into the
kitchen and stood staring
out the window at the backyard where
she'd played and
done much of the growing up that her
father hadn't wanted
to witness.
The pain inside her loomed so great
that she had to
find a way to make it go away. If
not forever, then just for a
little while.
She remembered the bottle of gin
someone had given
her mother for a Christmas present a
year or two ago. She
pul ed a chair out from the kitchen
table and scooted it over
to the cabinet above the sink. She
opened the door, and sure
enough, there it was, in the back,
unopened. Lena reached
for it, then got down and poured
herself a glass.
The first sip tasted awful. She
nearly gagged, and when
it hit her throat, still sore from
being sick, it felt like fire
blazing a trail to her stomach.
She went to the refrigerator and
grabbed the orange
juice container, watering down the
gin with it. Still awful, but
not quite so bad.
Taking the bottle and the glass with
her, she went into
the living room, sat on the couch,
and, for the first time in
her life, proceeded to get drunk.
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51
he was drunk.
SLuke knew it as soon as he answered
the phone.
“H-he doesn't
want me, Lena said.
The words were slurred and hard to
understand. “Lena,
who are you talking about?
“He s-said I
wouldn't c-care 'cuz I never met him. But
that's not true.
Her father. She must be talking
about her father.
“Where are you,
Lena? Are you at home?
He barely heard her answer.
Luke knew her mom wasn't home,
because Mrs. Walker
called earlier to say his dad had
gone out to the lake to
meet Colby. “Lena?
No answer. The receiver dropped to
the floor, and he
felt his heart fall with it.
“Lena, I'll be right there! he
yelled, hoping she heard him. He
grabbed his keys off the
kitchen counter and bolted out the
door.
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52
an lay awake, looking down at this
woman who had
Icome to mean everything to him. She
had simplified
life for him, brought into focus
everything important,
screening out the things that were
not. Her innate goodness
became more clear to him with each
moment he spent
with her. His heart belonged to her,
and he could not
imagine a future without her.
She stirred and opened her eyes to
stare up at him with
the expression of a sated woman. The
sight of it fil ed him
with an almost primitive gladness
that he had been the one
to put that look in her eyes.
She stretched beside him, her legs
entwined with his.
“You can't expect
to look at a man like that and get away
with it, he said, trailing a finger
across the flat plane of her
belly.
She wrapped her arms around his neck
and kissed him
with renewed heat before saying,
“I don't intend to.
They were quiet for a bit, just
holding each other, while