Good Intentions (The Road to Hell Series, Book 1) (32 page)

“Have it placed on a stake, along with her body,” Kobal commanded.

Before anyone could reply, Kobal strolled across the blood-drenched ground toward me. I forced myself not to recoil from him, though everything in me wanted to get as far from him as possible right then. What he’d just done never should have happened. It didn’t matter if he was a demon.

I somehow managed to keep myself from screaming when he slid his hand around my elbow; it felt as if ice slid through my veins. I’d encountered pure evil in my dream last night, and while I didn’t think Kobal was evil, his actions certainly hadn’t been
good
.

My knees quivered, and my feet felt like lead weights beneath me as I tried to keep up with him when he propelled me across the ground. Blood dripped from my hair, making nausea churn more insistently within my stomach.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” I managed to croak out before we reached the tent.

“Yes, I should have,” he replied brusquely. “No one is going to harm you and get away with it,
ever
.”

He’d done it to protect me, but the ruthlessness with which it had been done, the reason she’d attacked in the first place, were all
wrong
.

“She was wrong, but so were you!” I gasped when we arrived at the tent and he pulled the flap up.

His eyes were remorseless when they met mine, and he gestured for me to go inside. I shook my head no.

“Get in,” he commanded.

“Kobal—”

“Get inside, River!” he didn’t shout at me, but something in his tone of voice made it seem as if he’d bellowed the words for all the world to hear.

He’d never hurt me, but I sensed an unraveling within him I’d never expected to see or had experienced before. The simmering explosion waiting for release had me ducking into the tent. He followed behind. Before I could open my mouth to speak, he spun me around, clasped my cheeks, and seized hold of my mouth in a kiss that stole my breath from me.

I tried to keep myself held back from him. I had just witnessed a decapitation by his hand, but when his tongue swept in to taste me and his arm locked around my waist to lift me against him, I also wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened. His hand cupped hold of my breast, kneading my flesh through my shirt and bra.

His other hand slid over my shirt, brushing briefly against the torn fabric and the scratch beneath. The reminder of what had caused that slice caused reality to crash over me with the effect of water being dumped on my head. I twisted in his grasp, tearing my mouth away from his and shoving my hands against his blood-soaked chest.

“Stop!” I yelled and pushed at him again.

“I need you.”

“No, not like this, not in her blood.”

“What does it matter?”

I shuddered at the stark reminder of how different we were from each other. I’d been living in this fantasy world where the demon was tamed and he was more like me than not. I’d been an idiot. Her life had meant nothing to him. Though she would have killed me, she hadn’t deserved what he’d done.
None
of it would have happened to begin with if he hadn’t slept with her and completely forgotten about her after.

I didn’t fit into this world of death and Hell and the Devil’s offspring. I’d lived in a fishing community with my brothers and had a simple life of work and survival.

I couldn’t deny what I was, would not turn my back on what I had to do, but Lucifer’s words rang in my head. There had been no love in that man, no caring; I couldn’t let myself become like him, and I felt as if I were slipping down the slope toward it if I condoned
this
in any way.

River

“Let go of me!” I shoved angrily at his massive chest again.

He remained standing before me, not at all fazed by my pushing. “River—”

“I’m covered in her blood, and it matters to
me
!” I practically screeched at him.

He finally released me and took a step away. “I’ll take you to shower.”

“Her life meant more than the little regard you showed her.” I sounded insane for defending the woman who had called me every nasty name in the book and tried to fillet me like a fish, but he had to understand it wasn’t
right
to rip people’s heads off. That I found myself trying to explain this to him seemed as completely ridiculous to me as defending Eileen’s actions did. “You can’t do that to people.”

He pivoted to follow me as I edged further away from him. I wasn’t entirely sure I could resist him if he kissed me again. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want when it comes to keeping you safe.”

“Your actions are what put me in danger with her to begin with!” I accused.

His forehead furrowed, and I threw up my hands to ward him off when he took a step toward me. A rumble of frustration emitted from him, but he stayed where he was. “What are you talking about?” he demanded.

“The only reason she hated me, called me a whore and every other thing she could think to call me, and attacked me today is because you had sex with her and
forgot
her!”

“You should have told me she was saying these things to you.”

“Why? What would you have done then?” His face remained stony. “Forget it. I don’t want to know.”

“I would have taken care of it.”

“
You
were the reason for it! The woman whose head you just
tore
off was the same one from the cafeteria a couple of weeks ago who you could not remember. I think she believed herself in love with you, and you tossed her aside.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “Then she was a fool. If she had come to me, I’d have told her so.”

I went to wrap my arms around myself in a sad attempt at comfort. I stopped when I recalled Eileen’s blood on me. My hands fell limply back to my sides. “How can you be so callous about a life?”

“Because it’s not yours, Mah Kush-la.”

The endearment caused my heart to twist with anguish. I wanted to melt into his arms so badly, but I couldn’t. “Mine is not the most important—”

“But it
is
, especially compared to all of
theirs
. They mean nothing, and I meant what I said about ripping every one of their limbs off the next time one of them so much as breathes on you the wrong way.”

“You can’t do that. Our world doesn’t work like that.”

“It’s the way it works now. Humans brought us here, they thrust us into this world, and now they have no choice but to deal with us. I don’t see the problem.”

I threw my arms up and stalked away from him. “The problem is your actions caused today’s events to unfold, yet you killed her as if she were no more than an ant.”

“She wasn’t worth more than that.”

I blinked back the tears filling my eyes and folded my arms around my middle. I stopped caring about the blood on me. I felt barren inside. He was so cold, so unfeeling that I barely recognized him. “You had sex with her.”

“I’ve had sex with many. None of them have reacted in such a way.”

My heart wrenched in my chest. “There was no caring in Lucifer either.”

“Do
not
compare me to him!” he spat.

“I’m not. I know you’re different, but you’re also very similar. I can’t let myself become like him. There are too many in this world I care about for that to happen. All life is precious to me. I could feel the pulse of it before I knew what I was. It has always been a comforting thing to me. To lose that would be like losing my soul.”

“You will not lose it.”

A realization settled over me. “I will if I become like him. I would bet part of the reason Lucifer is the way he is now, is because he lost that connection to life. You yourself said he can no longer wield life. Maybe he didn’t lose the ability in Hell; maybe he somehow lost it beforehand by standing by while something wrong was committed. Maybe he lost it another way, but I cannot take the chance of it happening to me.”

“She
fucking
deserved to die!”

This time, he did bellow the words at me. His eyes burned hotter as his claws extended.

“Whatever this thing is between us, or was, is over,” I whispered. “You have no care for humans, no care for life—”

“I care for yours more than my own.”

“I can’t be with someone who thinks so little of my kind.”

“They aren’t your kind.”

“They are to me!” I cried.

He took a deep breath before speaking again. “You are only saying these things because of your dream last night. I understand you fear becoming evil like him, but you never will.”

“You can’t know that.”

“You can’t let him get into your head.”

“I can’t stand by and tolerate this either, Kobal. I can’t take the chance I could be twisted as a weapon against you and others I love.”

“You are
my
Chosen; there is no denying that. Even if my marks upon your body fade away, demons will still recognize my claim on you, still sense it and know who you belong to.”

I tilted my chin up. “I belong to me. I am not a possession.”

“You are
mine
.”

“Not anymore!”

Turning on my heel, I stormed away from him and flung open the flap dividing the sleeping area from the main tent. Before the flap fell back into place, he was coming in behind me and filling the room with his overwhelming presence. When he reached for my arms, I dodged his grasping hands.

“River,” he growled. He loomed over me as he backed me toward the corner of the tent.

His fingers stretched out to touch my cheek, but I slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”

“I’ll do whatever I want to you.”

“If you force me to do anything with you, I will
never
forgive you!”

He rested the palms of his hands on either side of my head against the canvas wall. “I don’t have to force you; your body craves mine even now.”

Perhaps it was true, but I refused to acknowledge his words, or how stimulated I was by his nearness. I tilted my chin further up. “And it will crave another.”

Gold erupted in his eyes as his fangs burst free of his mouth.

Too far, you pushed too far.

Beside my head, his claws punctured the heavy canvas of the tent. I didn’t know if he was aware of it or not, but circles of fire erupted to ring his thick wrists. I held my breath. I’d always been so certain he would never hurt me, but I’d never seen him completely lose control before. He may not turn into a wolf, but I felt as if a wild beast stood across from me, one who was being denied its mate and would not stand for it.

“If you ever turn to another, I will wear his balls as a necklace!” he spat.

“You’re acting like a possessive, commanding, overbearing monster!”

His nostrils flared and a muscle in his jaw twitched as a vein in his forehead throbbed. Somehow he managed to keep himself restrained from grabbing me. “You knew what I was when this started, yet you still eagerly welcomed me between your thighs and screamed my name.”

I felt as if I’d been slapped. He was right, about everything, but things would be different now; they had to be. “It doesn’t change that I want you to leave.”

He lowered himself so we were eye level with each other. “You should think long and hard about this. I know what you saw was upsetting to you, but it had to be done in order to make a point and keep you safe. I know what happened with Lucifer last night has confused you, but that was what he intended to do. Right now, you’re reacting hysterically to both of those things. Once you calm down you will realize that. However, if you tell me again to leave here, I will not come back.”

Maybe he might have had a bit of a point. However, the minute he said I was acting hysterically, my hackles rose, and I had to fight not to kick his nuts into his throat while laughing
hysterically
.

Instead, I gritted my teeth and held his eyes as I uttered two words. “Get. Out.”

He stared at me for a minute, so still he didn’t even breathe. Then his muscles began to vibrate, and he slapped his hands against the side of the tent. The unexpected motion caused me to jump, but I didn’t break his gaze. Turning on his heel, he threw up the flap dividing the rooms and departed.

I stood, my knees shaking and my heart shattering as tears spilled from my eyes. My legs finally gave out on me, and I crumpled to the floor as sorrow tore through my heart.
What have I done?
I rested my forehead against the dirt floor when my muscles began to cramp.
What had to be done.

Maybe it had, maybe it was best to break this off before it could go any further, but I didn’t think I’d ever be able to walk again as a spasm wracked my muscles.

I couldn’t give up my humanity and who I essentially was for him, or for Lucifer. It would turn me into Lucifer if I did, and I was determined to be the apple that fell far
far
from his tree!