Good Intentions (The Road to Hell Series, Book 1) (5 page)

I stopped feeling the warmth of the May afternoon as my blood ran cold and my legs wobbled. I glanced at the Guard who had handed me the paper, but she had already turned away. Besides, it didn’t matter; the Guards weren’t the ones searching for a human with abilities. The government was.

River

My gaze drifted past the Guard to the woman still standing by the truck. An older gentleman with gray hair cut close against his skull now stood beside her. The style of his hair emphasized his high cheekbones, square jaw, and compressed lips. These older military personnel were the ones who had been members of the military before the war started and the only ones who came back for Volunteer Day.

Keeping the paper, I walked back to where Lisa and Gage sat on the lawn. They each had a flier in hand. When I approached, they lowered their fliers quickly and tried to hide them. They gave up and brought them out again when they spotted the matching flier in my hand.

“It’s the same one as last year,” I whispered when I settled onto the lawn.

“Why are they looking for people like this?” Gage demanded.

“Shh,” I whispered. My gaze darted around, but there were few people near us. “I don’t know.” I glanced at the two people standing near the truck again. “Do you think the rumors of experiments are true?”

Lisa leaned closer to us. “I think most of the rumors are true. None of us know what goes on over the wall. I don’t trust those news broadcasts for one minute. We only know what they tell us, and I believe most of it is a lie. And why did they start handing these fliers out four years ago? The volunteering has been going on for eleven years now. What happened four years ago that made
this
start?”

“I don’t know,” I muttered as I glanced at the flier again. “Maybe I should talk to them.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Lisa said firmly. “Nothing good is going to come out of whatever it is they’re looking for. Mark my words on that one.”

“What if they find out?” I looked pointedly between her and Gage. “I could be putting you both at risk.”

“I’m willing to take the risk.” Lisa pulled the flyer from my hand and crumpled it into a ball. She snatched Gage’s next and crushed it with hers. “Stay away from whatever this is.”

I had to agree with her on many things, but the idea of something happening to any of them petrified me.

I didn’t have much time to think about that as the man who had been standing by the truck stepped forward and lifted his hand into the air. Some conversations continued to swirl around us but they died off when more people realized he was about to speak. With the sunlight beating down on the man, the metals on the chest of his blue uniform shone. I didn’t know what they used for material for their clothing, but it was of far better quality than anything any of us wore.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” he said in a clear, booming voice. “I am Colonel Ulrich MacIntyre and I’m so happy to see all of you here today for the volunteering. I so enjoy coming to these seaside communities, and who doesn’t love a good lobster?” Polite chuckles followed this statement. “Now, could we have all of the sixteen-year-olds in the community come forward?”

Finally finished with licking the caramel off his apple, Bailey toddled over to me and settled in my lap. Gage handed me his glass of water and a cloth to wipe off Bailey’s fingers and face with. From amongst the crowd, people made their way toward the trucks and the pair of military personnel.

The teens lined up beside the colonel with their parents behind them. My mother hadn’t bothered to come on the day I’d stood up there, but Lisa’s mother had stood behind me throughout the experience.

I finished cleaning Bailey off and settled him in my lap as a heavy air of expectancy descended over the crowd. There were at least fifty teenagers up there waiting to declare their fates. I didn’t envy them; it had been such a simple choice for me, but it wasn’t for many others.

Clearing his throat, the colonel drew everyone’s attention back to him. “Volunteering is a sacred duty only few are brave enough to undertake. All volunteers will leave their homes and families behind for a life spent protecting the wall and the many who reside outside of its borders.”

Lisa shot me a pointed look.
‘From what?’
she mouthed.

We’d all heard this speech before, but that had always been the question. What was on the other side of the wall? The rumors were anything from animals and humans deformed by radiation, to brand new creations as a result of the radiation, to Russian, North Korean, and Chinese fighters who hadn’t been beaten like we’d been informed, and still waged war on the other side.

It was a question I was dying to know the answer to, but we were too far from the wall to ever know. The closest section of the wall to us was over three hundred miles away. My feet definitely weren’t going to make the trek.

We’d heard stories that howling screams, ghostly calls, and other strange sounds could sometimes be heard in the towns residing closest to the wall. Sometimes those who were allowed to cross the bridges onto the Cape, or enter the ports in order to trade with us, said the towns closest to the wall lived in fear of what was on the other side. It was whispered those people would have fled if there had been a guarantee they would be able to find someplace else to live.

I tried to believe they were only campfire tales, meant to scare people away from the wall, but I couldn’t shake the belief that at least some of it had to be true.

“The volunteers will be well compensated for their bravery with a home, clothing, and food behind the wall,” the man continued. “They will never again have to wonder where their next meal will come from. Not only that, but their parents or guardians will receive a stipend of food from the Guards for the rest of their lives to help offset their needs.”

This was the reason most people volunteered. It wasn’t so much the promise of something new, better clothing, and steady shelter that made them step forward, but the ability to help take care of their family too.

“All volunteers will receive training and be taught how to take care of themselves and how to protect others,” the colonel continued.

Again, we were told this, but we had no way of knowing what happened after the volunteers were taken away. Letters were sent home from past volunteers and families were allowed to send mail to the front, but the letters arriving here never revealed any info about what went on at the wall.

“All volunteers take pride in what they do as they help to rebuild our great nation. They are amongst the many celebrated heroes of this majestic land. Now, as you all know, all first year volunteers are sixteen years of age. If you are not sixteen, please return to where you were seated. You will have your chance soon.” No one moved from where they stood lined up beside him. “If you have not come forward yet, please do.”

The only mandatory attendance for today was for the sixteen-year-olds in town. I didn’t know why they were all required to stand up there, if they weren’t going to volunteer. Maybe the government felt it would embarrass some of those who didn’t volunteer into doing so, or maybe they thought people would look down on those who didn’t volunteer. Either way, they were wrong. Standing up there, I hadn’t felt embarrassed, ashamed, or looked down upon when I hadn’t stepped forward. I’d only wanted to return to Gage in the crowd.

“Now,” the man stepped forward and turned to face the kids. “Who amongst you is brave enough to face a whole new world and to protect and serve your great nation?”

Lisa leaned over to whisper in my ear. “Volunteers
must
be down this year in the other towns. He’s really pouring it on thick.”

I nodded my agreement as the man walked in front of the people gathered before him. “Please step forward if you are willing to become one of the great many who have kept this country alive.”

There was a shuffling within the group, and then five boys and two girls stepped forward. My gaze focused on a small girl at the end. Her hands were folded together before her, and her head was bowed. A willowy woman with two twin boys, one on each hip, stood behind her. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the young girl as I waited for her to do what I
knew
she was going to do.

With a dejected look at her mother, the young girl took a step forward. The woman gave an awkward lurch forward as she tried to grab hold of her daughter’s shoulder and pull her back. The young girl brushed away her mother’s grasping hand.

Tears streaked the woman’s cheeks; she glanced between her daughter and the others standing forward from the group. The kids were all trying to look so proud with their tilted chins, thrown back shoulders, and gazes fixed on something in the distance. On most of them, their shaking hands, trembling lower lips, and misty eyes belied their brave front.

“Eight,” Lisa said. “River’s right again.”

“I don’t know why any of us ever guess against her,” Gage said.

I smiled wanly at him as I held Bailey closer against my chest.

“Let’s give a round of applause for these brave men and women!” the colonel announced proudly.

Cheers ran through the crowd while the families grouped back together. They hugged each other close as tears were shed.

“If anyone else, who is of age to volunteer and is under the age of twenty, would like to volunteer, you may do so now!” the colonel declared.

It was rare anyone volunteered after the age of sixteen, but some did because of unforeseen events or maybe to escape the island. I’d only ever seen two do so, and no one moved forward now to join the teens who had volunteered today.

With the volunteers established, the cover on the back of the truck was pulled away to reveal the bags of mail, clothing, and other supplies stashed in the back. With no set postal service anymore and no real means of distant travel, letters only came and went to the wall on this day each year. Families with children who had volunteered in the past, rushed forward to collect the letters from their loved ones and to hand over the bags of letters they had written over the year. Everyone else waited to receive and divide the rest of the supplies until all those letters were delivered.

Cheers and laughter rang out as the families happily gathered their letters. Sometimes, along with the letters came the news someone had been lost. While I watched, I saw ten families being led away from the crowd and toward the high school by the military woman.

“That’s not good,” Gage muttered.

“No, it’s not,” I agreed.

“That’s more than five times the amount of deaths from last year,” Lisa said.

“From
any
year,” I replied.

“Some of those rumors about things amping up at the wall must be true.” Gage glanced at the wadded up fliers near his hand, shoving them roughly aside before rising to his feet. “Come on, let’s go dance or something.”

I placed Bailey on the ground and rose to my feet. Keeping hold of his hand, I led him through the crowd already beginning to celebrate once again. Glancing over my shoulder, my gaze fell on the last young girl who had volunteered. I’d seen days ago she would do so, I somehow knew her name was Carrie, but the thing I didn’t understand was why I felt like I’d be seeing her again.

I didn’t get impressions or visions or whatever they were about myself. I was too old to volunteer, and I knew neither Gage nor Lisa would ever betray me, but I knew something wasn’t right.

River

It was late afternoon when we made our way back home. Bailey was asleep on my shoulder, his arms draped around my neck and his little breaths blowing against my cheek. The sweet scent of caramel clinging to his skin filled my nostrils. Damp with sweat, his hair stuck to my cheek. I kissed his head, my heart swelling with love when he released a small snore.

At our street, Lisa broke away with a wave to go to her and Asante’s small house. We walked in silence to our house and up the stairs to the door. No lights were on within, and I didn’t hear the drone of the news. Gage and I exchanged a resigned look when we realized the blackout was still in effect. Our mother would probably be in a worse mood now that she hadn’t had her TV to watch all day.

“I should cook the other fish before it goes bad,” he said.

“Yeah,” I agreed as he opened the door.

The screen door creaked closed behind us when we entered the house. Gage strode down the hall, and I started to turn to the right to put Bailey to bed when I saw Gage freeze beside the island in the kitchen. His head was down and turned to the side, his arms at his sides. He lurched forward and grabbed something from the counter.

I stopped, curious to see what had caught his attention. He spun toward me, his mouth gaping open and a piece of paper in his hand. “River—”

Whatever he’d been about to say was cut off by the squeak of the screen door opening behind me. A tendril of alarm coiled within me; I didn’t need any extra senses to know something was completely wrong. I kept hoping, if I didn’t turn around, I wouldn’t have to see what was making Gage’s mouth open and close like that and his eyes bug from his head.

No matter how much I didn’t want to look, I knew I had to face what was waiting for me. Taking a deep breath, I turned to find the middle-aged man and woman who had arrived for the volunteering standing in the doorway. Behind them stood my mother and a handful of Guards.

I placed a protective hand against Bailey’s back as my chin rose. My heart sank when I belatedly realized Gage had been holding a flier in his hand.

My mother rarely left the house, but there had been no electricity all day today. With nothing to do here, the volunteering must have drawn her out. Or perhaps the military had decided to do a door-to-door search this year in order to uncover this someone different they were looking for.

Either way, I knew my mother had been the one to sell me out. She may not know the extent of what I could do, but it had always been present in me. The foolish child I’d once been, the one who had still held out some hope she could come to love me, had told her about some of the visions I’d had before. I’d been too young to realize the love I was seeking by telling her my secrets would never be given. She would never love me the way a mother should love her daughter.

As I’d gotten older, and realized I better distance myself from this woman, I’d tried to keep it from her, but it was already too late by then.

Over time, I’d learned that she hated me, but I hadn’t known how much until
now
. She’d relied on me, but she’d found another way to take care of her family by getting rid of me. Something she’d probably been wishing she could do since the day I was born.

The silence stretched on endlessly; Bailey shifted in my arms. Burrowing closer against my neck, he let out a contented sound that caused tears to flood my eyes. I hadn’t given birth to him, but I loved him as if he were my own. Gage and I had been the ones to raise and take care of him, and I knew before any words were exchanged, I would never see either of them again.

“River Dawson?” the colonel inquired.

“That’s her,” my mother confirmed when I stayed mute.

My nostrils flared, and I strove to remain calm with Bailey in my arms. “I’m twenty-two,” I said. “Too old to volunteer.”

“That’s not why we’re here,” the colonel replied.

“I’m
not
volunteering.”

“Doesn’t matter, not with this.”

I glanced at my mother; I didn’t ask her why she’d done this because I already knew the answer, but I wanted to choke the woman.

“It does matter!” Gage said angrily. “
No
one is taken to the wall against their will.”

“These are different circumstances,” the colonel replied.

“What circumstances?” Gage demanded.

“It’s been brought to our attention your sister has certain abilities.”

Gage gave a snort of disbelief, but before he could speak again, my mother did. “She does. I’ve seen them myself. She’s scared me since she was a child. She has the Devil’s eyes.”

My teeth grated together at this statement, one I’d heard countless times over the years. My eyes weren’t a normal color, but violet wasn’t exactly something I would associate with being demonic. However, her words had perked the attention of the military man and woman; their eyebrows rose, and they exchanged a pointed look with each other. Something about their expressions caused my blood to run cold.

For the first time, real panic hit me as I looked back and forth between the military personnel and the Guards beyond. I would never be able to shove past them to escape.
Maybe
I had somehow managed to set those curtains on fire all those years ago, but I had no idea how it worked or what would happen if I tried to set something on fire now. I couldn’t take the chance of anything happening to Bailey.

“The only thing about me that frightened you was I was yours and you were supposed to take care of me!” I snapped at my mother.

“She sees things she’s not supposed to! I know she does,” my mother accused. “She told me so herself!”

Right then, I would have given anything to go back and kick six-year-old me in the throat.

“She’s a lunatic; everyone around here knows that. If not for my brother and me, she wouldn’t eat. She barely moves out of that chair.” I thrust a finger at the torn and stained recliner in the living room.

Bailey squirmed in my arms; I rubbed my hand across his back in order to calm him. “It does not matter, miss,” the military woman replied. “You will come with us.”

“I am the main food supply and caregiver to my siblings.” My tone remained calm, but my heart raced and sweat dampened my palms. All I wanted was to turn and bolt out of here, or set my mother on fire. If it wouldn’t confirm to them I was different, I may have done it, if I could figure out how to do it.

I’d never hated her before. I’d never had any respect for her, and I’d disliked her, but I’d never
hated
her. Now hatred festered inside of me like rotten fish, and if I had a chance at getting to her, I would have beaten her to within an inch of her life.

The man’s eyes flicked to Bailey before going to Gage who strode forward to stand behind my shoulder. “That’s true!” Gage declared. “That woman has nothing to do with us. Without River, we would have died years ago.”

“Because your sister will be coming with us, food will be supplied to you from now on,” the colonel replied.

I could feel Gage’s growing agitation as he shifted behind me. I risked a glance at him. His hands were fisted at his sides, a vein in his forehead throbbed, and a thin layer of sweat coated his flushed face.

“She’ll throw us out on the street!” Gage retorted and thrust a finger at our mother.

“As per the rules of volunteers’ families and the agreement with your mother, you will be taken care of.”

The blood pumping through my veins felt like ice. I found it increasingly difficult to breathe as the realization sank in that I had no choice. I glanced toward the back door. Even if I could get away and make it out of this house, there was nowhere for me to go, nowhere for me to hide. We were on an
island
for crying out loud.

And what of Bailey and Gage? I couldn’t leave them behind with my mother. I couldn’t take them with me, and if I could somehow manage to escape with them, running and hiding was no way for them to live.

I turned back toward the crowd in the doorway before looking at my mother’s smug smile. The colonel turned in the doorway and waved some of the Guards forward. I gasped when Asante stepped through the door.

His sable eyes were sad when they met mine. “I’m sorry, River. I didn’t know this was going to happen when they ordered us to do the door to door inquiry,” he said.

“It’s okay, Asante. I know. I’ll go willingly—”

“No!” Gage shouted. The ragged tone of his voice caused tears to burn my throat.

Shifting my hold on Bailey, I seized hold of Gage’s arm when he took an angry step forward. His muscles bulged beneath my grip as he glared at the people across from us. If I let him go, I knew he would launch at them, and I didn’t want to think about what would happen then.

He couldn’t be locked away; there would be no one to care for Bailey, and I couldn’t stand to see Gage hurt in any way. Bailey lifted his head from my neck, and blinked sleepily at the group gathered across from us before shoving his hand into his mouth.

“There’s no choice here,” I hissed at Gage. “I have
no
choice.” Turning back to the group, I focused on my mother. “I’ll come with you willingly,
if
you agree all she gets out of this is only enough food for her to survive. I want my brothers to be taken care of by someone else, and
they
will receive whatever other compensation you promised her.”

“That’s not the deal!” my mother shouted.

Bailey jumped, his body trembling against mine as he removed his hand and cuddled closer against me. “River,” he murmured.

“It’s okay,” I told him and patted his back.

“Miss, you really have no choice here,” the colonel said in a gruff tone.

“I know I don’t.” I finally looked at him again. “But I will either walk calmly out of here, or I will kick and scream and throw myself in ways that will be guaranteed to draw a crowd. There are already rumors running rampant about the wall, about the increased deaths and what
really
goes on there. Would you prefer the people here to see you drag a cared for member of this community, who helps provide food to everyone, takes care of her brothers, never volunteered, and is twenty-two years old, from her house? You know it will only cause the unrest to increase.”

The colonel and the woman exchanged a look again.

“It won’t help you next year on Volunteer Day. We may be a remote community, but gossip always spreads,” I pressed.

“We will make sure your brothers are taken care of,” the man replied.

“Away from
her
.”

Gage trembled in my grasp as he looked at me with tears shimmering in his brown eyes.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry!
I told myself fiercely. If I lost it now, I would turn into a blubbering mess they would have to carry from here anyway and that would do nothing to ensure my brothers avoided my mother’s clutches.

“Away from her,” the man promised.

“I’ll take them. They can live with me and Lisa,” Asante offered. “If that is permissible?” he asked of the colonel.

The colonel and woman studied me. “Would this be agreeable to you?” the colonel inquired.

Asante’s warm brown eyes were misty with tears when I looked to him. I bit my bottom lip to keep a sob suppressed. I’d never considered the possibility of losing my brothers; my future without them was a bleak pit of misery I couldn’t face, but if I couldn’t be here for them, then I trusted Asante and Lisa to keep them safe and protected. They would do far better than our mother. Unable to trust myself to speak, I gave a terse nod.

“They will be kept safe and your friend will receive enough rations to keep them well-fed,” the colonel said to me.

I blinked back the tears filling my eyes as my shoulders sagged.

“That’s not part of the deal!” my mother thundered.

“Take her outside,” the colonel ordered brusquely.

My mother thrashed against the two men who clasped her arms, but they easily succeeded in removing her from the house. Turning to Gage, I tried to hand Bailey over to him, but his arms locked around my neck. “No!” he yelled in my ear.

Tears choked my chest and throat. I turned my face into his neck, inhaling deeply of his caramel, baby scent. I’d never forget it, never forget the warmth and chubbiness of his tiny body or the happy giggles he emitted with such ease.

Please don’t let this take away his laughter,
I pleaded as I struggled not to lock my arms around him and refuse to let go.

“It’s okay, B,” I murmured as the first tear slid down my face. “It’s okay. You have to go with Gage now.”

“No!” he shouted again.

His hold on me cut off my air supply, causing me to cough. “Gage,” I choked out. “Help me, please.”

Gage remained unmoving, his eyes hollow and filled with tears as he stared at the two of us. Finally, he stepped forward and took hold of Bailey’s arms, prying them from my neck.

“No!” Bailey wailed, his feet kicking in the air, his face flushed as Gage pulled him away. His tiny hands grabbed for me, tears streaked his face. “River!”