Good Karma (63 page)

It was better head than she’d ever given him.
“Damn, Karma,” he whispered on a breath.

He found her face with his hands, slipped his
fingers into her hair, and sank further into the couch.

Her mouth was a combination of fire and ice,
making him shiver and melt all at once. When she finally closed her
lips over him and sucked him in, he knew he was a goner.

“Karma…” He tapped the top of her head. He
was going to come. So fast, so hot, like lightning. But he couldn’t
hold back.

But she didn’t stop. If anything, she
swallowed him more enthusiastically.

“Karma…” Fuck, but he was about to shoot.
“Karma, I’m going to…oh, fuck…I’m going to come. Stop. You need to
stop if you don’t want it in your mouth.”

She doubled her efforts, taking him deeper
and moaning.

Jesus! She wanted him to come in her mouth.
She’d just blown his mind again. Pumping his hips, he gripped both
sides of her head, seized fistfuls of her hair, clenched his jaw,
and held his breath as his orgasm advanced like a tidal wave. He
had never come this hard, and he hadn’t even released, yet.

“Karma! Fuck!” His breath shuddered from his
throat as he grunted and spilled into her mouth in vicious,
uncontrollable waves.

Before he was even finished, he was ready to
go again. He had never experienced multiple orgasms, but Karma, the
blindfold, and her merciless onslaught had other plans for him.

Her mouth released him. Then her weight
shifted as she climbed back onto his lap and found his lips with
hers. He tasted himself, the salt of his offering, and it only made
him want her more. For a woman to swallow a man’s release like that
was damn near the most erotically intimate act in the universe, and
Karma worked her way a little further into his soul.

Still hard and in need of more, he gripped
her hips and thrust himself against her. He needed to come again.
Needed to feel her quiver around him as he did.

“More…” He sounded like an addict begging his
dealer.

“Already?”

“Yes.” God, he needed inside her. Now.

He felt her lean to the side, heard the sound
of ripping plastic, felt her nimble fingers roll the condom on, and
then her hand guided him inside as she sank down onto his lap.

He groaned. Yes, that was what he needed.

“Make love to me,” he said, wrapping his arms
around her.

He was still blindfolded, but he could feel,
and he could hear. Her breasts mashed against his chest, her
nipples hardened pebbles. Her palm pressed against one side of his
neck, her face against the other. Her urgent gasps as she rode him
bathed his skin in warmth, igniting his blood.

Gasps became hard breaths. Moans morphed into
demanding groans. Urgency quickly became desperation, which reached
criticality soon thereafter. Her body was a storm, riding in on the
atmosphere like a squall line, picking up strength, power rising
into the heavens. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, her breasts
pressed against his chest, and she cried out with every breath. All
Mark could do was hang on in an effort not to be blown away.

And then she grew deathly silent, the calm
right before the storm. She tensed and held her breath. A moment
later she blew apart just as she reached around and untied the
scarf. It fell around his neck, and he blinked his eyes open to the
visual feast churning and crying out on his lap. Karma’s head was
thrown back, her body convulsing. She clung to his neck and
shoulders.

So close. He was so close. Thrusting into
her, he rode the path she had left for him, and within seconds, he
slammed into her as she cried in orgasm a second time, harder than
the first.

As he came, he forced his eyes to remain
open, not wanting to miss a moment. He wanted to experience this,
all of it, the deep yearning, the incredible heights she had taken
him. Then he pulled her close and buried his face against the side
of her neck. He waited until the last shuddering spasm coursed
through his body then slowly pulled away. Opening his eyes, he
looked into hers, which glistened from the dim light coming through
the windows.

She had given him a far greater gift than any
he’d ever received. One greater than any he had given her or ever
could. She had shown him he still had the capacity to trust. She
had blindfolded him and led him through his fear to show him more
pleasure than he’d ever known.

He pulled her against him once more and
kissed her shoulder, her neck, and finally her lips, holding her so
tightly he didn’t think he would ever be able to let go.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Thank
you
.” Her fingers combed
through his hair.

If only they had more time together. But he
couldn’t think like that. He didn’t have any more time. This was
it. Their time was almost up. But he still had tonight, and he
would remember it forever.

Chapter 56

Grief is
not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an
emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for
love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.

-Earl Grollman

Twice more, they made love before falling into a
sated, exhausted sleep, then again in the shower the next morning.
Neither talked about the end of the week, choosing to hang on to
the magic as long as they could, but soon enough it was time to
return to Indianapolis, where they spent Sunday evening lost inside
each other at Mark’s condo before falling asleep in each other’s
arms.

Mark’s boss came down Monday afternoon and
spent two days with him at the office, and on Wednesday night, Don
took him to dinner with the other members of the executive team, so
it wasn’t until Thursday night that he got to see Karma again.

“Are you going to be okay?” he said, spooning
her after they made love for the last time. This was it. Their last
evening together.

She nodded. “Yes.”

He heard the hurt in her voice.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded again and sighed, then turned to
face him. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I’ll miss having
you around. It already feels strange to look into the conference
room and not see you there.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I never meant for our
good-bye to be this hard on either of us, but especially not on
you.”

One of her tears finally dropped to her
cheek, and he lifted his hand to her face and wiped it away with
his thumb.

“Good-byes are always hard, anyway,” she
said, working up a sheepish smile. “It’s not your fault. I knew
this day would come from the beginning.”

“And yet you got involved with me anyway.” He
smiled and gingerly kissed her. “Brave girl.”

She coughed out a truncated laugh. “Or a
glutton for punishment.”

He hugged her close. “Or that, too.”

But he was just as gluttonous. He had let his
heart slip into Karma’s possession just as willingly as she had
entered into the arrangement with him, and that was something he
hadn’t counted on. Unlike the other women he had dated, he would
actually have to get over Karma.

His relationship with her was different. It
didn’t feel finished. He wanted more. But his time was up, and that
meant whether he thought he was ready or not, he had to go.

That was how it worked. That was what he had
promised her. And that was what he had promised himself after being
Caroled
: never to lose his heart again. Mark was steadfast
in his conviction if not somewhat obsessive about it, and he
couldn’t make exceptions, not even for Karma.

He turned her face up to his with a brush of
his fingers on her cheek so he could look her in the eyes. “When
you get married, make sure you send me an invitation.” His grin
held every ounce of sincerity he could muster. “I wouldn’t miss
that for anything, Karma. You deserve to be happy. You deserve a
good man who will worship you as the cherished angel you are.” He
held her face in his palm and stared into her lovely green eyes.
“You. Are. Precious. Promise me you’ll never forget that.”

“Damn you,” she said as tears flowed down her
cheeks. “Now look what you’ve done. You’ve made me cry, and I
promised I wouldn’t cry tonight.”

She reached to wipe the moisture from her
face, but he pushed her hands away, leaned forward, and kissed the
tracks of her tears. Teary brine dampened his lips, but he didn’t
care. They were
her
tears. Tiny, liquid diamonds. Her very
essence.

“Promise me, Karma. Promise me you’ll never
forget how special you are.”

She swallowed down a sob that tried to escape
as she nodded. “I promise.” She lifted up on her elbows and hit him
with a serious stare. “Just as long as you promise not to forget
the same.”

The sentiment caught him off guard. “I’m
beyond redemption, Karma.” His mind drifted to the past that he
couldn’t let go off. The pain, the heartache, all of it. “My fate
is already sealed.”

“You’re wrong,” she said with certainty. “You
have so much to offer. I hope someday you see that and can let go
of the past to share yourself again. You deserve happiness,
too.”

He thought back to their conversation about
Carol two months ago. Karma hadn’t missed a thing in that
conversation. She knew just how badly Carol had affected him and
all the repercussions of her betrayal. Still, he nodded. “I’ll
try.” He kissed her brow. “I promise.”

She nestled back down against him, her cheek
on his shoulder, her fingers lazily combing through the hair on his
chest. He loved when she did that, as if she wasn’t even thinking
about it. Her fingers had a mind of their own and combed back and
forth, back and forth. Occasionally, she would lightly tug a small
thatch of hair between her thumb and fingers. The gesture was
endearing, soothing, and all Karma.

For a while, they remained like that, one
against the other, silent, simply existing in each other’s
presence, but he was only putting off the inevitable, because he
couldn’t spend the night.

He wanted to, but it was better if he
left.

After fifteen minutes of silent comfort, he
sighed. “I have to go, Karma.”

“I know.” But she didn’t move.

This was harder than he had intended.

Another minute passed, and then she
reluctantly slid away. He sat up, and swung his legs off the edge
of the bed.

“Come here,” he said over his shoulder,
reaching for her hand.

She snuggled up behind him, and he took her
hand and pulled her arm around his waist as her lips met the back
of his shoulder in a tender kiss.

“I had fun,” he said. “With you.”

“So did I.” She kissed his shoulder again and
squeezed him as if she could hang on forever. “Thank you.”

“No. Thank
you
, Karma. This was…” He
glanced around her bedroom one last time, committing it to memory.
“Nice. Very, very nice. Totally unexpected.”

She smiled against his skin. “Yes. It was.
I’ll never forget you.”

At that, he grinned and raised her hand to
his lips. “Nor I you,” he said, and then kissed each knuckle in
turn. “You’re unforgettable.”

With one final squeeze of her hand, he let go
and forced himself to pull out of her arms, retrieve his discarded
clothes, and get dressed.

She walked him to the door, wearing the pink
and cream robe he had bought her, which had remained at the condo
until this week as he began packing up. After a final, lingering
good-bye kiss, he reluctantly walked out of her life.

As he drove away and glanced in his rearview
mirror, he could just make out her silhouette in her window, her
hand against the glass.

It took a will greater than God’s to keep his
foot on the gas, but somehow, he fought through the lump in his
throat and held his emotion at bay until he got home and collapsed,
still dressed, in bed.

Only then did he allow himself to break.

And break he did.

* * *

Karma refused to take a shower. She wanted
Mark’s scent to linger on her skin as long as it could. And she
didn’t think she would ever again wash the pillowcase he had
used.

In fact…

She pulled it off the pillow, neatly folded
it, and tucked it into her keepsake box. It was Mark’s pillowcase
now, and like a T-shirt autographed by every member of the Beatles,
it would never meet detergent nor water for the rest of its
existence.

Of course, crying was a given. Now that he
had left, and his pillowcase was safely stowed, she collapsed in a
heap on the floor and cried harder than she ever had in her
life.

Their affair was over. He was all but gone.
She would probably never see him again, and if she did, it would
likely be too painful to bear, because she knew he was moving on.
Talking to him after tonight would just cut deeper and hurt worse,
because he would never be hers. And she would never be his. Not
anymore.

There was no way she could go to work
tomorrow, either. Going in on Monday would be hard enough.

Mark. Was. Gone.

Gone!

And nothing could change that.

Or make her feel any better.

They say that misery loves company. Well,
Karma had a new bedmate. She and misery were going to get good and
acquainted, because she had a feeling they would be together for a
good, long while.

And damn it. If her dad said “I told you so”
just once, she would punch him.

Chapter 57

If you
love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours
forever. If they don’t, they never were.

-Author unknown

“I wish Karma could be here to say good-bye, Mark,”
Don said, shaking his hand. “I know she hates missing your last
day.”

Mark didn’t blame Karma for calling in sick.
He would have done the same in her shoes.