Good Woman Blues (4 page)

Erikka looked at Monique. “I didn’t lose my
wind,” she said.

“I think maybe she just wanted to browse some
more,” Gabriel jumped in.

“Humph.” Aunt Therese continued to examine
Erikka for several seconds.

Gabriel cleared his throat to break the
silence. “Y’all come back next weekend. We’ll have another shipment
of furniture by then, even some nice china.”

Erikka glanced at him, then away. Monique
rushed on to exchange more pleasantries with Gabriel and his
aunt.

While they talked, Erikka pretended interest
in a row of plates displayed on a buffet table. Erikka walked to
the entrance of the booth, and then turned to Monique. The signal
worked. Monique waved good-bye to them and walked toward her. Once
outside, Erikka slowed her steps. Her therapist had said light
helped to dispel the blues. She sure hoped so because she could
feel a mournful tune strumming deep inside her. Fat downy clouds
lazing against a blue sky didn’t ease the hollow sensation.

“Come on, sunshine. Do your thing.” Erikka
stretched her arms out.

“What?” Monique blinked hard, and then put on
sunglasses. She turned off the alarm and unlocked the doors to her
Ford Mustang.

“I’m not about to flip out. You suck at this
babysitting- the-crazy-cousin thing.”

Monique put the box down, opened the trunk of
her car, and put it in. She slammed it closed. “You might try being
thankful somebody is willing to put up with your crap.”

“Oh, now the truth comes out. I should have
known.” Erikka gave a grunt of distaste. “I’ll catch a bus.”

“Sure, walk to the nearest bus stop
twenty-two miles away in Lafayette. This is Loreauville,
girlfriend. Ain’t no buses or taxi cabs,” Monique added, when
Erikka started to speak.

Erikka mumbled a curse word, and then got in
the Mustang. Monique joined her and started the engine. She turned
on the air conditioner so they could both chill out. Several miles
down the highway and a few degrees cooler, Erikka’s annoyance
dissolved into guilty gloom. An all- too-familiar tightness grabbed
Erikka around the throat as she struggled not to cry. Why couldn’t
she stop the pan-icky feeling that came out of nowhere and gripped
her?

“I don’t know why I’m snapping at you. I
don’t know much of anything these days,” Erikka said. She rubbed
her cheek hard to erase an offending teardrop.

“Look, I’m sorry.” Monique looked at her,
then ahead.

“Yeah, well.”

“I didn’t really mean what I said.” Monique
pulled Fred the Frog from her purse and handed him to Erikka.

“Thanks and yes, you did.” Erikka let another
tear fall as she cradled Fred in both palms.

“Yeah, I did.” Monique extended a wad of
tissue to her.

They both laughed. Erikka dropped Fred into
her lap and accepted the tissues. She patted her face dry. ‘Trying
to fix it up before Darlene gets hold of your behind, huh? I’m not
going to tell on ya.”

“Girl, if she finds out I picked a fight with
you...” Monique let out a long hiss.

“I started it. I’m always doing something
stupid.” Erikka put on a weak smile. “Thanks for the field
trip.”

“You’re welcome. Hey, remember when we used
to visit Grandmaman Lillie’s during summer breaks?” Monique’s grip
on the steering wheel relaxed.

“You and I always had some scheme cooking.”
Erikka leaned back against the leather seat.

Monique and Erikka had played for hours with
dolls, rode their bikes down the rural roads around their
grandparents’ home, and shared secrets. Paw Paw Jules built them a
clubhouse. For some reason, maybe for a lot of reasons if she
thought about it long enough, they’d lost that closeness. Puberty
had been the turning point. First Monique, then seven months later
Erikka, turned thirteen. From then on they’d seen little of each
other. Four years later at a family wedding they were like
strangers.

“Look, since I’m just up the road, so to
speak, I can come visit more often. I’ll take you to the mall. What
do you say?” Monique wore a smile of encouragement.

Erikka knew it was time to stop pushing
people away. Getting out more would be a start. Maybe she would
heal faster and get back to her life. The same fat sluggish clouds
filled the sky. The same sunshine bounced off the surfaces around
her. Erikka tried to will the bright light inside her to make a
transformation. She slipped into a gauzy numbness courtesy of the
steady hum of the car tires on concrete and the side effect of her
antidepressant pill. She nodded, with an expression of anticipation
that didn’t go deep enough.

***

“You look rested this morning.” Darlene wore
an approving smile. She wiped her hands on a dish towel as Erikka
walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

Erikka yawned. “Thanks to the
pharmaceuticals. I’m beginning to feel like a spaced-out vegetable.
All I do is sit around staring at grass grow.”

Darlene poured coffee into two mugs and sat
down across from Erikka. “Quit acting like you don’t like it here.
Monique told me y’all had fun at the flea market.” “Fun.”

Erikka turned the word over in her mind. When
was the last time she’d felt anything but tired, wired, or empty?
Fun was still a ways off.

“I picked up Fred, so that’s something,”
Erikka said finally.

Darlene sputtered in the act of swallowing.
“What did you just say?”

“He’s in the bedroom. I’ll introduce you.”
Before Darlene could recover, Erikka winked at her and skipped out.
She returned and held him up. “Say hello, Fred.”

“God, don’t scare me like that.” Darlene put
a hand over her heart and fell back against the chair.

“Fred is the only man for me right now.”
Erikka planted a kiss on Fred’s smooth little head. She put him
down on the table.

Malik rushed in, rubbing his face. He opened
the refrigerator, took out a small bottle of orange juice, and
chugged it down. “Ma, I’m only in school half a day. Got band
practice, then I’m heading over to the store.”

“Morning.” Erikka watched his long, lean
adolescence. At fifteen he’d finally started to be taller than most
girls he knew, to his profound relief.

“Hey, cuz.” Malik grinned and winked at
her.

“What about that C on your calculus quiz?
Maybe you should give up that job.” Darlene wore a worried frown.
“Your grades are suffering.”

“Aw, man. One quiz. Don’t go trippin’ on me,
Mama.” Malik scowled back. He pointed a finger at her. “You said I
should start supporting my own habits.”

“I’ll help you study this evening, sweetie.
Not to brag, but I burned up every math class I ever had.” Erikka
winked at him.

“No wonder you’re my fave cuz.” Malik beamed
at her. “It’s a date.”

“He told Monique the same thing when she got
him tickets to a concert last month.” Darlene gave his butt a
playful swat.

“Don’t believe it, Erikka. It’s all about
you.” Malik blew her a kiss. “Bye, y’all.”

“Eat something before you go,” Darlene called
out, but he was already through the door with just a wave as he
disappeared.

“All that teenage energy makes me want to
take a nap,” Erikka said. She pulled the belt of her robe
tighter.

“You sound like a little old lady. I’ve got
errands to run, and you’re coming with me.”

“No, let’s just take it easy. I want to see
if this lady wins the big prize on The Price Is Right. She made it
to the final round.” Erikka took a sip of coffee.

“Now I know you need to get out of this
house,” Darlene retorted. “Get dressed, and no whining.”

Erikka whined anyway, and Darlene ignored
her. Less than an hour later they were on their way to town in
Darlene’s eight-year-old Buick Century. The air conditioner barely
chugged out air, much less cooled it. Darlene kept apologizing as
she fiddled with the knobs. Erikka didn’t mind. She enjoyed the
heat on her skin. Sunlight splashed everything yellow, and she felt
less cloudy inside. They drove down Bayou Lane, which was nowhere
near a bayou. They passed wood-framed houses faded to various
shades of gray. After two miles and closer to town the houses got
bigger. Large old homes, with moss-draped oak trees and flowers in
bloom, lined up on either side of their route. A green roadside
plaque announced that they were now in the historic district.

“Wonder what these houses are worth?” Erikka
looked at them with professional interest. She’d done enough
volunteer accounting work in historical restoration to know some of
the houses were at least a hundred years old.

“For Black folks, you can’t count that high.
The real- estate agent wouldn’t even return your phone calls,
darlin’.” “Oh, it’s like that. Apparently these people haven’t
heard of the equal housing laws.” Erikka wasn’t surprised. Every
city had invisible racial dividing lines when it came to
housing.

“Mostly tradition. I’ll take you where the
Black folks with money live, Oak Ridge Estates. Your aunt JoAnn
started to build out there and changed her mind.” Darlene rolled
her eyes.

“Nothing wrong with having money. If you can
hold on to it.” Erikka thought of bills with OVERDUE stamped on
them piling up.

“It’s not the money, but how you act once
you’ve got it,” Darlene said.

Her aunt’s observation struck a tender spot.
Buying expensive toys to fill up the emptiness had become her vice.
Erikka hadn’t consciously decided to live beyond her means. At
least she’d finally consulted a credit-counseling agency. The stack
of barely polite notes from her creditors had pushed her to it.
Erikka grasped at the tiny sliver of silver lining. One step of
progress was better than none, she reasoned.

“Who in the world are all these people
grinning like I’ve known them for years?” Erikka waved back at
smiling strangers.

Darlene parallel parked in front of a line of
stores. “Folks eager to be friendly and find out as much of your
personal business as possible.”

A burly man somewhere in his forties came out
of the drugstore. He seemed to hesitate when he saw them, but then
smiled and approached. “Morning, Darlene. How have you been?”

“Fine, and yourself?” Darlene looked past
him.

“No complaints.” He cleared his throat, while
Darlene continued to find interest somewhere over his shoulder.

Erikka looked at them and wondered if the
vibe she sensed between them was all in her mind. “Hi, I’m
Erikka.”

“Erikka, this is Kelvin Washington. Erikka is
my niece. She’s visiting with me a few days.”

“Glad to meet you.” Kelvin shook Erikka’s
hand.

“Kelvin is a deacon at our church and board
member of the Senior Center,” Darlene said, in a restrained
manner.

“Right. Come visit us this Sunday.” Kelvin
went on with a complete rundown of the program.

Erikka tried to sort through the onslaught of
information as he talked. A tall, grim woman emerged from a dry
cleaner’s nearby. She wore a stony expression as she looked from
Kelvin to Erikka. Then she stared at Darlene.

“Now you be sure and speak to me on Sunday,
Erikka,” Kelvin said.

“Thanks for the invitation,” Erikka said, her
tone noncommittal.

“Honey, this is Sister Mason’s niece. This is
my wife Carolyn.”

“Mornin’. I have to be at work in a few
minutes,” she said in a clipped tone to Kelvin.

“Got plenty of time. The nursing home is just
up the road. But guess you’re right, better get movin’. Y’all have
a blessed day.”

Kelvin nodded to Erikka as though he’d have
tipped a hat if he were wearing one. He managed a sideways look at
Darlene before walking off. His wife marched ahead of him down the
street to a shiny white Chevy Tahoe. Carolyn opened the passenger
side of the door and slammed it hard after getting in.

“I know her problem,” Erikka said with a
grimace.

“What?” Darlene looked at her sharply.

“Thinks everyone is after her man. Save me
from jealous women.” Erikka made it a point to grin and wave as the
car passed them. “Any woman messing with him better brush up on her
kung fu.”

The car passed them. When Darlene didn’t
laugh at her joke, Erikka’s eyes widened. “You and Kelvin are—”

Darlene nodded. “For a year. He’ll leave her
soon. Now close your mouth before you swallow a fly or
something.”

“Dang.” Erikka started to say more, when
Darlene made an abrupt turn and walked away.

“Listen, what do you want for supper? I’ve
got to get groceries anyway.” Darlene’s tone said that topic was
closed.

“I don’t know. I’m still full from that big
bowl of cereal you practically poured down my throat.” Erikka
puffed out her cheeks.

“You lost twenty pounds in three months, and
that was before you ended up in the hospital. Looked like a
half-starved supermodel by the time you got out.”

“I’d like to be able to fit into my clothes
when I go home.” Erikka patted her buttocks. “And I’ve never been
skinny.”

“Gaining too much weight is not your problem.
A little more gravy and buttered rolls won’t hurt you.”

“Weren’t you starting a diet?” Erikka eyed
Darlene’s hips.

“Monday. This weekend we celebrate.” Darlene
stopped in front of a snack shop. A woman sitting next to the
window held a double-stacked ice-cream cone.

After a brief debate Darlene decided against
treating herself. They continued down the narrow sidewalk, dodging
a few older women out shopping. Erikka continued to lay on the
guilt trip about fat grams. Her laughter died when the tall man
with warm eyes came out of Harold’s Ace Hardware Store. He stood
ready to hold the door for them. Erikka’s steps slowed. Darlene
followed her gaze.

“He’s tasty,” Darlene said. She picked up her
pace and smiled as they got close to him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. How are you? Feeling better
I hope.” Gabriel tilted his head at Erikka slightly. The gesture
gave him the look of a kindly doctor examining a patient.