Good Wood (26 page)

“You didn’t try and pick a fight?” His tone seemed incredulous.

“Hell no. I just wanted her to leave me alone. She screwed my date up.” The words fell out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying.

“Date? Who was it that you were out with Joe?” I mentally bitch slapped myself.

“I was out with Molly.” Dr. Greene gave me an irritated look.

“Okay. When we last talked, we discussed not falling into old patterns. Not substituting physical intimacy for real intimacy. Specifically, I thought we had discussed you taking the time you need to get yourself together before you bring someone else into the mix.” I nodded at him.

“Yes. We did. And I’ve stopped going to bars and picking up women. I barely even drink. Okay, I still drink. I just don’t get drunk and pick fights. But I wanted to…”

“Wanted what Joe?”

I shrugged. Getting up I walked over and got a bottle of water. I drank half of it before I turned to face him.

“That is the fifty dollar question isn’t it, doc?” He smirked at me and jotted something down in his notebook.

“Hiding behind clichés won’t help you. I’ll let you think about Molly and go back to the first subject. You and I have talked about your wife but apparently we need to discuss this Bethany. So I can reply to the report with some sort of informed opinion.” I walked back over and sat down heavily.

“Fine. Bethany and my wife were best friends since elementary school. Bethany hated me on sight. I always thought it was because she had to share Jessica with me.”

“So what sort of relationship did the two of you have before Jessica’s accident?” His question made me snort a laugh.

“Relationship? She was a vain, self-centered, elitist that judged everyone on the car they drove and the clothes they wore.”

“So she was a bit shallow?” I gave a full laugh at that and Dr. Greene jumped a bit. Then he went back to scribbling in his notebook.

“Saying she’s shallow is like saying the Sahara is dry. I once saw her throw a handful of twenties at a homeless guy just to keep him from getting close enough to ruin her shoes.”

“Wow.” Dr. Greene had let a look of pure disgust sneak onto his face for a moment before his listening face reappeared. “So she’s a real humanitarian. Tell me about what happened after Jessica died, in relation to you and Bethany.” Rubbing my face with both hands I took a deep breath. We had been doing this, this thing where I opened up, for a while now. It wasn’t getting any easier. It seemed to be getting harder instead.

“We’ve talked about how much of a mess I was. Anyway…Bethany kept trying to come see me. I hadn’t wanted to see that woman when Jessica was alive. Why in the hell would she think I would want to spend time with her after Jess’s death? As usual, it was all about her. Selfish bitch.” The doc looked up at me but the only sound he made was furious scribbling.

“We ran into each other when I was in the middle of a binge. She saw me and tried to come up and talk to me. I’ve got no idea what she was thinking. To be honest, I just didn’t care. All she did was remind me of my pain. She wanted to talk and I wanted her to go away. The results were…explosive.”

“Were you violent? Is there a police report that is going to tie to this new one that she can claim physical battery or feeling threatened?” Shaking my head I looked up at the ceiling.

“No, I didn’t touch her. I did something much worse. I embarrassed her and called her on her shit.” Dr. Greene looked up at me and paused in his writing.

“So, what happened?”

“She kept badgering me about how everyone was calling Jess a thief. She told me that I should be standing up for Jessica. I think it was more important to her that she was being judged as the friend of a thief than anything else.” Dr. Greene set his pen down and looked at me.

“And?”

“I must have glared at her for about five minutes. She was so wrapped up in her impassioned speech that she didn’t even notice. Everything started to build up inside me and I felt like I was about to explode. Just before I blew up, something gave inside of me and I decided to tell her exactly what was on my mind.” The pen flew back and forth over the page of his notebook.

“I don’t remember everything I said to her. A few phrases come to mind thought. ‘Self-appointed she-bitch from hell’ was one. ‘Haggard looking plastic surgery queen’ was another.” She got violent and they threw her out.”

“So there is nothing that will cause a judge reviewing the old file and the new file to be inclined to suggest action?” I shrugged.

“I never read the report, but I doubt it. If the cops bothered to talk to anyone there they would see that woman was full of crap.”

“Okay, I can do some follow up but it sounds like nothing to be concerned with. Tell me about this date.”

I walked him through everything that happened leading up to and during the date. When I got to the part with Bethany he made some notes. As I was finishing, I glanced up at the clock and saw our time was winding down. I was surprised when the doctor picked up his phone and asked his assistant to move his next appointment to the following day.

“Cutting out early doc? I didn’t mean to wear you out.” He gave me a wry smile and moved away from the desk, dropping his notebook on the top of it.

“Joe, I think the two of us should sit and talk for a bit. We have touched on a few things here that I think need some more attention. “

“I told you. The thing with Bethany was a non-issue. If the cops want to talk to me about it, I have no problem with that.” He waved his hand dismissively.

“I don’t care about that Joe. We need to talk about Molly.” His tone made me tense.

“What about her?”

“She seems to have really drawn you out. Tell me about her.” I felt a goofy grin spread across my face.

“Molly’s…great. Ever since she was a punk kid she refused to take any shit off of anyone. I have seen her drop guys twice her size. She’s got more spirit than anyone that I’ve ever met. And she is an amazing,
I mean an amazing
chef. If you ever see her truck, Wrapgasmic, you should pull over and order. Even if you just ate. It’s like food porn on wheels.” Dr. Greene smiled.

“I will if I happen by. So there aren’t any problems?” His question tripped me up because I had been busy thinking about how Molly’s eyes twinkled when she was laughing.

“Problems? Like what?”

“You’re vamping again. Try saying the first thing that comes to mind rather than looking for ways to dodge the issue.” He was giving me that ‘no bullshit’ look again.

“You want honesty? I keep screwing up.”

“How so?” I looked away from him, then stood and walked over to the window.

“I never planned on getting together with her. I tried to avoid it. The last thing I needed was to have my two best friends trying to kill me because I hooked up with their little sister.”

He removed his glasses and wiped the lenses with his shirt. “It would seem that you overcame that objection.”

I blew by that comment. I wasn’t anxious to have the avoidance conversations again. “After that first night everything was cool between us. I was going my way, she was going hers. Instead of leaving things alone I found myself drawn back to her a few nights later.”

“Why? If you were attracted to her and satisfied the impulse, what drew you back?”

“From the beginning, there has been something about her that I couldn’t get away from. Being around her makes me feel alive. All the walls I built around me just to make it through the day… she bypasses them like they aren’t even there. The more I try to resist, the easier it is for her to get to me.”

“All these sound like good things Joe. As much as I have concerns about you moving so fast with a relationship, especially knowing all that you have been through, it sounds like Molly is good for you.”

“I love the way she makes me feel. I love the way I want to be a better man when I’m around her.”

“You feel like you have no power to resist her?”

“No.” I adamantly shook my head. “It’s more like I don’t want to.”

He snapped his mouth shut and tapped his pen against his chin. “This is the first emotional relationship you have had since Jessica. Yes?”

I nodded.

“Then my biggest concern is that you take the time to honestly deal not only with your emotions and issues, but with hers as well.”

“What do you mean?”

He responded with a sympathetic stare.

“A relationship, a real one where both people are equal partners, needs to meet the needs of
both
individuals. Not just the physical needs or companionship. You have to be able to emotionally respond to a mate’s problems.”

“So?” I sat back fidgeting a bit in my seat.

“So? That’s your only response? Come on, Joe. Dig here. Go deeper than the surface of the pond. You’ve told me a lot of great things about Molly. But nothing negative. She’s perfect, with no issues at all. The only human on the face of the planet that is completely undamaged.”

I exhaled. “She’s not perfect.”

“Really?” He rolled his eyes at me. “I find that shocking. So how about you tell me a few of her less than flattering qualities.” I shook my head at him.

“No. Talking about us is one thing. I’m not going to tell you her secrets.” He picked up a cheap cardboard coaster and flipped it at me. I stared at him in shock as it bounced off my forehead. He gave me a bemused smile and sat back in his chair.

“Beyond the fact that anything you tell me would be privileged, I’m also not sniffing around for gossip. There’s no need to break any confidences in your budding relationship. Tell me about her public baggage. Ah! I can see it on your face, you have already thought of something. Share Joe. That’s the whole point of this.”

I folded my arms across my chest and sat thinking for a minute. The man had a point and if I wanted to get better I had to throw a little trust into the equation.

“She’s impulsive. Always has been. And I think she’s a bit of a work-a-holic.”

He nodded. “Takes one to know one.”

“Touché.”

“Okay. What else?” He didn’t seem to be judging, just being inquisitive.

I narrowed my eyes, thoughtfully. “She’s a shitty judge of character.”

“Ya’ don’t say.” He deadpanned. I had no choice but to smile at that, but it soon evaporated.

“She was married. I guess the guy was a real douche and he didn’t treat her well. It pisses me off when I see the difference between the fearless kid she used to be and the way she is now. I blame that prick for all the doubt I see in her. “

“Did she tell you why the relationship failed?” The urge to tell him off came flying out of a dark corner of my mind. I choked it back, knowing it was a defense mechanism and the opposite of what I was here for.

“He cheated on her.” The words tasted bitter.

“Ouch. So how does she feel about all of your sexual escapades? Do you think that might add to her insecurity issues?”

“Wow, thanks for the insight, doc. Weren’t you the one that told me that I shouldn’t feel self-conscious about all that? I should own my past and make it a part of me as opposed to letting guilt drag me down to a negative place.” He gave me a look of surprise.

“I never realized you were listening so closely.”

“Don’t worry. Most of the time I wasn’t.”

“The point is that you need to put yourself in her position. She was betrayed by her husband and now she’s with a new guy that’s a one man Austin Visitor’s Center.”

“Okay that is a cheap shot.”

“Maybe. But there’s a difference between not feeling guilt and owning past actions and realizing how they will affect others. Just because you are getting comfortable with your past doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have any issues with it.”

“She hasn’t ever mentioned that part of my past.”

“It doesn’t mean that she isn’t aware of it. Are there any other issues that you think might impact the relationship?”

“Her assistant was the one screwing her husband. He got her pregnant.” His jaw dropped and he seemed at a loss for words. “This girl was supposed to be Molly’s second in command. Based on how far along the chick is, they would have been together before her marriage crashed.”

“Way to bury the lead Joe.” I looked up at him in surprise. “You have a woman that was betrayed by her husband and her friend and you leave that out as an insignificant detail? Have you thought about how those events impacted her?”

Sitting back, I thought about what he was saying. Molly had been pretty upset when she found out about all of this. But I was so caught up in my own bullshit that I hadn’t followed up to ask her how she was doing. Dropping my head into my hands I peered back up at him guiltily.

“Before she found out what they were up to, she sold her share of the restaurant to her assistant.” His expression spoke volumes.

“Oh Joe. You and I have so much more to talk about than I realized. First, let me say that I’ve underestimated Molly’s importance. The progress you have made since she re-entered your life is nothing short of remarkable. And you seem determined to pursue a relationship with her against my advisement. Far be it from me to try and tell you how to feel. I only hope that you can take some advice from me. Not just for your own sake but for hers.”

The thought of hurting Molly caused my stomach to churn. Each one of her tears, every single anguished expression on her face, was like a knife in my gut. Taking a deep breathe, I nodded.

“Okay doc. Tell me what I need to do.”