Goodbye Gifts: (The Steamy Version) (A 'HOT' Castle Mountain Lodge Romance Book 5) (12 page)

“Dylan, what we just—”

“No.” He shook his head. “My turn to talk. You had your chance to tell me what was going on. That you were just using me for your career. You could have told me that at any point. But you didn’t.”

Her face crumpled and he thought she might cry. The urge to reach out and touch her cheek, to tell her it was okay and she didn’t need to be upset, was so strong that it twisted him up inside. That was the whole problem. From the minute Trent told him about Carmen and how she was using him, Dylan hadn’t known what to feel and after what they’d just shared. God, it felt so real. But what else?

Angry? Yes.

Hurt. Definitely yes.

She shook her head sadly. “Then why are you here, Dylan? Why did you come?”

He wanted to answer that question with another kiss. He wanted to tell her that he came because he couldn’t stay away from her and despite himself, he had feelings for her. He wanted to be honest with her and open his heart the inevitable hurt that would follow.

Instead, he let the anger win. “I promised your parents I’d come,” he said, keeping his face a careful mask of neutrality. “And I wanted you to know that you weren’t the only one with an agenda.”

“What?”

She looked up and when he looked into her deep glacier green eyes, he almost changed his mind. Dylan swallowed hard and said, “I was trying to get you to come work at the Springs.” Confusion clouded her eyes. He kept his voice hard, working to control his emotions. “That’s right, this whole time you were trying to get a promotion, but I was trying to butter you up to come work at the Springs when you inevitably didn’t get the promotion here.”

Confusion turned to hurt as she processed what he was telling her. He watched her face crumple and her beautiful eyes glisten with unshed tears and he almost took it all back and told her the truth.

“No,” she said with a shake of her head.

She was right. Of course it wasn’t true. Watching her fall apart, he wished he could take back every word he’d said and start over. He wanted to reach out and touch her. To bridge the gap between them. But he couldn’t bring himself to swallow his pride.

“No,” she said again. A tear slipped down her cheek and she swiped at it angrily. “I don’t want to hear another word you have to say.”

“Carmen. I didn’t—“

“Leave.” She spoke through clenched teeth. “You think you can come in here and interrupt my family dinner to hurt me and then seduce me and…and you have the nerve to judge
me
for my poor choices. I don’t do things like that. I never…” She crossed her arms and shook her head. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I was angry. I’m—“

“You know what you don’t know?” she asked as she paced the small hallway. “You don’t know that I’d already told Trent that his whole stupid offer—that I didn’t even want to be part of in the first place—was off. Did he tell you that part? Did he tell you that I didn’t want anything to do with it?”

He shook his head because of course, Trent hadn’t mentioned those details.

She wiped at her face again. “I told your brother that it didn’t matter what the job was, or if he could help me get it. I didn’t care, because what I did care about was you.”

He took a step back as if he’d been slapped.

“That’s right,” she continued. “I care about you. Or at least I thought I did.” She shook her head as if she couldn’t believe it herself. “I actually thought I might be falling in love with you. I’m such an idiot.”

“No, Carmen. You’re not.” He reached for her arm and pulled her in to him needing to feel her close. She wouldn’t look at him. “You’re not an idiot.”

She shook him off her and slipped away. “I am. And if you’ll excuse me, I have to go. I have to work. At least, that is if I still have a job.”

He watched her go, unable to find the words to bring her back. Uncertain if there were any at all.

He knew he should’ve have stayed away. He should have just cut his losses and never looked back.

Dylan watched her walk away from him. He stood frozen for a few minutes before leaving the restaurant out the back door. Frustrated, he pushed his way outside into the cool night air and walked as quickly as he could down the first path he saw. He didn’t know where he was going. It didn’t matter. He needed air. Never in his life had he felt the way he felt about Carmen, and now whatever she may or may not have done, he’d just made it that much worse.

He kicked a rock on the path and yelled, letting his anger out into the night. “Dammit.” He smacked his hand against a tree, the rough bark scraping his skin and it felt good to feel the pain. To feel something.

He needed to talk to Carmen, and figure out exactly what the hell was going on. They couldn’t leave it the way it was. He turned back towards the Lodge, but stopped himself before he took a step towards her. No. He couldn’t cause a scene while she was working. She’d never forgive that.

A confusing combination of hurt and anger flowed through him, making him restless. He paced back and forth, needing something. His skin itched with the need to know what really happened with her. He wanted to trust her; he needed to trust that she told Trent their deal was off. But he needed to know for sure.

Making a split-second decision, Dylan took a chance and turned down a side trail. Moments later, he broke into a run and pushed harder and faster until he was taking the stairs to Trent’s staff housing apartment two at a time and banging on his door.

“What the hell?” Trent said as he opened the door and saw Dylan.

Dylan pushed his way past his brother into the shabby apartment. He stormed into the living room and turned around waiting for Trent to catch up.

“What the hell, Dylan?” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I was just about to—“

Unable to stand still, Dylan paced in the small room. “Tell me the truth,” he demanded.

“About what?”

Dylan stopped in front of Trent, and stared into his eyes. “About Carmen. Tell me the truth.”

Trent blinked and looked away. “I told you,” he said. “I asked her to go out with you as a favor to me. I know I shouldn’t have, but you needed a little fun and—“

“I got that. Tell me the rest.”

Trent stepped back and moved away. “There’s nothing else to tell,” he said with his back to Dylan.

“No?”

Trent froze.

“She didn’t call you to tell you the deal was off?”

Trent didn’t move.

“Trent?” Dylan moved so he was standing right behind his brother, who still hadn’t answered him. “Did she call? Did she tell you that your ridiculous, blackmailing deal was off?”

Dylan held his breath, forcing himself to calm down and give Trent the chance to answer. He needed his brother to confirm Carmen’s story. He had to hear it, or he didn’t know what he’d do. When Trent finally shook his head slowly, the disappointment threatened to crash through Dylan.

Trent turned and said, “First of all, it wasn’t blackmail.” He held up a hand when Dylan tried to cut him off. “I don’t know why this matters so much, Dyl,” Trent continued. “You said yourself, you don’t do relationships. And she’s just a girl. I mean, does it really matter if she called or not? And yes, you’re right, I shouldn’t even have suggested it. It was a crappy thing to do. But, the fact is, she agreed to it in the first place, right? That should be all you need to know about her and how she feels about you.”

Before Dylan could stop himself or even think about what he was doing, he swung and his fist made direct contact with his big brother’s nose.

Trent reeled from the blow and staggered backwards into the wall, where he fell to the ground. “What the hell, Dylan?”

“The fact that there was a deal at all says a lot more about you than it does her.” Dylan clenched his fists and walked towards him until he was towering over his brother, who was holding his nose, trying to stanch the flow of blood. “Now, tell me the truth, Trent. Did she call?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Dylan roared.

“Yes.” Trent wiped his hand under his nose, smearing blood. “She called. She told me she didn’t care if she got the job or not because she didn’t feel comfortable with the whole thing.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t ask,” Trent snapped. “I was a little busy myself trying to save the Springs, remember?”

A flash of guilt for the way he’d behaved both with the Springs and with his brother hit him and Dylan offered Trent his hand. He pulled him up and handed him a washcloth to wipe his face, but he didn’t apologize.

Trent took a moment to clean his face before he turned back to Dylan and said, “You don’t need this, Dyl. Women are nothing but trouble. Remember what Dad used to say?”

Dylan shook his head.

“It’s true,” Trent continued. “Look at the last few days. You totally blew off a meeting, you put our whole project at risk, and you just broke my nose.”

“I didn’t break—“

“And for what?” Trent continued, ignoring him. “This isn’t a good time to get messed up with a woman, Dyl. Everything’s on the line and I need your complete attention on the Springs. It was a bad idea for me even to ask her to go out with you. I know that. But I just wanted you to have a little fun. I didn’t think it would go this far.”

Dylan walked over to the balcony and stared out at the night. He could make out the shadows of the pine trees, but not much more. Trent’s question resonated through his head. Why had he done all that? What was it about Carmen that had gotten to him and made him risk everything?

“Look. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you she called,” Trent said behind him. His voice had lost some of its edge. “I didn’t mention it because there was no point. We need to focus right now, and I never thought a few dates would lead to such a distraction. I needed you to understand that whatever you think you had with her, it wasn’t real. It’s not worth it, Dyl. None of this is worth it.”

But it was. Dylan turned and stared at his brother. “Yes it is,” he said.

“No, brother. It’s not.”

The Springs development was the culmination of everything they’d both worked for. He’d given years of his life to the project. If he lost it now, he’d lose everything. But there was Carmen, and if he walked away without even trying to win her, there was no doubt in his mind that he’d regret it forever.

“It’s worth it,” Dylan said, “because I love her.”

The silence that hung in the air between them was deafening and his words echoed in his head, resonating even as they replayed. He did love her. That was exactly what he was feeling; he was just too damn stupid to recognize it before now.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I love her,” Dylan repeated. “I know it’s crazy, and I know we’ve only just met, but it doesn’t matter.”

“Harrison men don’t do relationships,” Trent said. “Remember?”

Dylan shook his head and laughed. “I’ve never felt like this about a woman before. I can’t get her out of my head, Trent. I can’t function. I can’t concentrate on work. I just want to be with her. It’s killing me. I can’t explain it.”

Trent shook his head but Dylan saw the realization cross his face. “You really do, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Dylan said. He couldn’t help the smile that crept over his face. “I do.”

Trent rubbed his face and examined his brother before he said, “You look like one of those idiots from the stupid romantic comedies they insist on showing on airplanes. I suppose you’re going to go and sing her a song or shower her with rose petals or something equally as ridiculous, now.”

Dylan nodded, his mind made up.

“I know I’m going to regret this,” Trent said. “But if you really do love her, what the hell are you doing here still talking to me?”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Working was the best distraction Carmen could have asked for after the mess she’d made out of everything with Dylan. Being on the night shift meant she got to cover the front desk as well as handle any guest emergencies, and for the first few hours of her shift, things were pretty busy, with guests coming and going and calling down with questions, but then everything got quiet as she knew it would. The night shift was usually pretty dull, which could be nice on occasion, but when you were trying to forget about everything else going on, it was the exact opposite of what she needed.

At one o’clock, with four hours left in her shift, her imagination was running wild as she replayed the scene with Dylan for the hundredth time. He was angry, that much was clear. And he had every right to be, but he’d kissed her. Carmen touched her fingers to her lips, remembering the heat they’d shared. That was the confusing part. Why had he kissed her if he was just going to break her heart a moment later?

Unable to stand in place for much longer, Carmen left Quinn, her best night clerk, in charge and walked through the lobby, running her hand along the familiar wooden trim on the walls as she went. Usually, the rustic, warm room calmed her and soothed whatever hurt she was feeling, but at that moment, her sanctuary was doing the exact opposite. It felt like the walls were closing in on her, squeezing the air out of the room.

Needing some fresh air, she gestured to Quinn and went to the back door that led to the courtyard and pushed it open. She loved the Lodge, and the mountains and everything about Castle Mountain, but it no longer felt right. She wasn’t going to get the general manager job, that much she knew. And she felt okay with that. She knew herself enough to know that had she been awarded the position, she would always have wondered if it was because she deserved it, or because she compromised all of her morals to hurt someone she’d grown to care about. Care very deeply about.

The strength of her feelings for Dylan, even after everything that had happened, surprised her. Never in her life had she felt that way about a man, particularly so quickly. But maybe that’s what people meant when they spoke about love at first sight? A month ago, she would have thought those people were crazy. Heck, even a week ago. But now, everything had changed, and Carmen knew that aching in her chest was more than exhaustion. Much more.

She looked around the dark courtyard. Everything was so peaceful at the Lodge in the middle of the night. But as she let her eyes sweep around the space, nothing felt right. She knew it too well. She knew every corner, every valley, every inch of the place. It was comfortable and easy. There were no surprises. And maybe that was the problem. Taking a few more deep breaths of the cool night air, she went back inside and returned to her office.