Goodly Creatures: A Pride and Prejudice Deviation (67 page)

In agitation with her words, Mr Darcy almost spilled his tea. “Guilt! Why should either feel guilt?”

Mary answered his question the best way she knew how and her voice reflected the sympathy she felt for his anguish. “I have often wondered the same thing.”

For the first time, Mr Collins intervened. “My wife and I have often debated why. She struggles to believe it is God’s will.”

Silence fell as the trio pondered the meaning of the two sister’s inexplicable feelings. When Mary observed that Mr Darcy’s distress had subsided, she prepared for the most difficult part of her explanation. “My mother became obsessed with ensuring her daughters married well. Her favourite refrain was telling us that when my father died, Mr Collins would force us out of our home.” Mary squeezed her husband’s hand and gave him a loving smile. “She pushed Jane to be out soon after Tom’s death. That same year, Netherfield was visited by Sir Walter’s nephew, George Trent. With Tom’s death, George was next in line to the baronetcy, but the estate was not part of the legacy. In my estimation, he came to Hertfordshire with the hopes he might persuade his cousin to marry him; but Becky was not interested—not to mention, she was entirely too young. Her evaluation of her cousin is that he inherited much more of the Trent tendency to be shallow than she wanted in a husband. Instead George fell in love with Jane’s beauty. Since he had little money, he soon realized that marrying a young lady with a small dowry was not in his best interest. He left her with a few sonnets, and Jane experienced little discomfort.”

She remembered how lost her sister had been when George had returned, and the reason Lizzy had not been there to help her. The anger she felt for Mr Darcy’s cousin and wife overcame her anxiety about her mother’s crass behaviour. “When George Trent came back and renewed his acquaintance with Jane, Elizabeth was away… ”

Mr Darcy closed his eyes with a shudder but nodded for Mary to continue.”

My mother was relentless in pushing Jane to accept his attentions. My sister desperately needed her best friend and confidante’s sensible approach to things to help her sort out her feelings. In the end, my mother finally persuaded Jane she loved George. Within days of accepting the belief of his admiration, he was off to pursue a wife with money. Jane was devastated, and swore she would never give her heart away again. The irony of his abandonment is that Sir Walter loves Jane and thinks of her as a second daughter. As my mother surmised, he probably would have changed his will to leave Netherfield to George had he married Jane… provided, of course, Becky married well. He was, after all, the next male in the Trent line.”

Mary’s gaze toward Mr Darcy began to reflect a bit of accusation. That he had recklessly proposed a waltz at the Netherfield ball still chafed with her. It had proved disastrous for both her sisters. “When Mr Bingley came, Jane resisted his admiration for several weeks. He looked nothing like Tom, but we, who know her best, could tell she admired his easy amiable manners. When she was ill at Netherfield, they had several talks, and he told her of his desire to settle down, and become serious about owning and managing an estate. Reminiscent of Jane and Tom’s practice, they began riding together daily. According to Jane, she told Mr Bingley about her role in helping Mr Richards. To her, his admiration appeared to deepen from just a shallow attraction to her beauty to the realization there was a great deal to respect about her.” She bit her tongue to keep from telling Mr Darcy that there was much to respect about her second eldest sister as well. “According to Jane, your friend was particularly impressed that she had begun selling her fragrances to have funds to pay the apothecary when Netherfield’s tenants took ill. After Mr Bingley left, and Sir Walter told her he probably would not return; she changed. This time, besides her heart being broken by Mr Bingley’s abandonment; all her trust in men, and particularly her ability to judge them, departed with him.”

Mary took a sip of tea before she finished her rendition. “Mr Darcy, I gave you the long explanation. The short answer to your question is, yes, Jane would like to be mistress of Netherfield. She would like to have the love and life she once envisioned. However, I do not believe her affection for Mr Bingley required his purchase of Netherfield. We are all worried for her because she no longer thinks love possible… she has lost… hope.”

After a brief pause while all three sipped their tea. Mr Darcy spoke with an air of reflection. “Mrs Collins, thank you for helping one who has often been called naive and witless to understand. As a man, I have never considered the life of women… living at home, quiet, confined, waiting for love to be offered. From a very young age, I have always had pursuits, or business of some sort or other, to take me out into the world.” His eyes scanned the titles of some of Mr Collins books hoping for some enlightenment as he formulated his next words. “Once my mother died, my view of marriage became merely a duty that civilized society required of me. However, one day I went to the theatre, and since then, because of the other sister you pray for, I have been in a six-year state of confusion.” He wished he could confess the depravity of his own guilt but decided no. The thought of how Mr Collins might react if he learned the truth about his lusting after Miss Elizabeth while married to another stayed his tongue. Besides, he had a wrong to right. “I hope I am not too late to save your oldest sister from my dastardly family. Would you ask Miss Elizabeth if I could see Miss Bennet’s letter? I need to know the particulars of what is happening to her so I can devise a plan.”

Mary agreed to his request. Promising she would be back to comfort Elizabeth soon, she asked and was granted the right to peruse Jane’s letters. She did not tell her of Mr Darcy’s desire to see them, but only of her need. Once Mary was back in Mr Darcy’s presence, she read the relevant passages to him.

Darcy, still looking as pale as when they arrived home, stood and said to his hosts, “I must speak with my cousin and my sister, so I will take my leave. Thank you both for helping me find my way through this wasteland of prejudice I have avoided for so long.”

46 LOVESICK BLUES

Fitzwilliam Darcy found his cousin in the library at Rosings. He stormed into the room declaring, “Richard, I need your help.”

Richard Fitzwilliam had never seen Darcy so agitated. He was ashen and shaking. Unable to tell whether the emotion exhibited was an extreme form of sadness, anger or something different, he studied his cousin. The Colonel was reminded of soldiers’ faces when they realized they were mortally wounded. There was always a mixture of vulnerability, shock, and an inability to comprehend what was happening to them reflected in their faces. Darcy had that and something else… He looked guilty.

Richard poured each of them a glass of brandy, and encouraged his cousin to sit and drink before he began talking. They sat in silence for at least ten minutes. Darcy started to speak several times, but stopped as though he was trying to find the best way to proceed. Finally the words just started to tumble out. The Colonel let him talk, although at times he was unsure what he meant, but he felt it was not the time to ask for clarification.

“We are a family of monsters, and I am no exception—a hypocrite who, as you pointed out, looks down on Wickham and thinks him beneath my contempt. But, we now both know Edmund is much more heinous. My abominable pride kept me from seeing the truth, and in my denial, I blamed an innocent young woman and publicly labelled her a fortune hunter. And now Lady Catherine continues this travesty by telling Elizabeth she will pollute Pemberley—if through her arts and allurements she lures me into marriage.”

The Colonel noticed that statement seemed to cause his cousin to pause and reflect before he spoke again. In the interim, he turned his head toward the window and twisted the ring on his pinkie. Finally he began again.

“Our aunt has proclaimed she heard from her nephew, the Viscount Wolfbridge, of Miss Elizabeth’s low and vulgar ways.” He spat out the accusation as though it was filth in his mouth, “According to your brother, she accepted twenty thousand pounds in agreement not to force the scion of one of the most illustrious families in England into a loveless marriage.”

Darcy took a breath and then resumed in a subdued voice. “I asked her to marry me today, and I was soundly rejected. I had the audacity to pursue my proposal, even though she pleaded with me to cease. Besides calling her a fortune hunter, I recently persuaded Bingley her sister is one as well. She had not known for sure of my role until you revealed the knowledge to her this morning.”

Darcy put his head in his hands for a few minutes. He sounded defeated when he resumed speaking. “I realize now that I have loved her since the beginning of our acquaintance, but everything was so complicated. Once she demanded money, I had an excuse for blaming her rather than trying to make sense of what I felt. It was proper that I never acted on my feelings as long as Anne was alive, but the disdain with which I treated Elizabeth was wrong. The first time I saw her, I was ‘mesmerized.’ As Elizabeth likes to remind me, the concept of animal magnetism has been hotly debated…”

A hollow laugh punctuated his off-topic musing. “I was introduced to her at a performance of
The Tempest,
and though barely fifteen, she was the most intriguing being I had ever met. It was as though I was seeing Shakespeare’s most optimistic character offstage. She seemed to take pleasure in every new experience her
‘brave new world’
had to offer.” The dreaded image of her looking like Romney’s haunted Miranda caused him to cease his reverie for a minute as he banished it from his mind. “Edmund was not the only one who was captured by the vision that was Elizabeth Bennet that night. Oh, and Richard, the first time ever I talked with her—her eyes sparkled as we discussed all manner of subjects.”

His cousin almost looked feverish as he rushed to explain all the things they had talked about that evening. Richard decided it was still best to let him purge himself of all these repressed memories before he tried to knock some sense into his lovesick cousin.

“She felt Moliere captured human hypocrisy with biting satire.” Darcy abruptly stopped speaking. After several seconds, he snorted with laughter. “We talked of similar things the night Bethany was born. I believe she was trying to tell me something, but I was too daft to understand.”

A picture of his daughter and her mother halted his hilarity. “When she kissed Bethany’s fingers for the last time, I thought her more beautiful than any painting of the Madonna I had ever seen. Even before I knew how truly precious Bethany was, I knew the depth of her sacrifice.”

Darcy took a deep breath and looked out into space. “The day of the picnic, Lady Catherine observed me admiring Elizabeth’s bosom and that prompted her attack. I fear I have given everyone the impression that is all I care for—but I esteem so much more about her. For example, I admire the care and understanding she has shown my sister. I, on the other hand, have broken her sister’s heart.”

Richard observed his cousin’s face change once again to a look of exaggerated passion. The words that went with this expression were an intolerable combination of ardour and sentimental drivel. He hoped it was Darcy’s last charge.

“Elizabeth also believes my admiration is purely for her body and that frightens her. She still has nightmares of your brother’s cruelty. Edmund wanted to witness Elizabeth’s pain and humiliate her. I want the chance to fill her heart with joy. The only woman I have ever loved finds my touch abhorrent and believes there is not a single member of our family who has any honour or integrity—except Georgiana—and possibly you. With all the examples she has of my stupid pride and all her legitimate prejudices against our family—my love is doomed!”

Richard rolled his eyes at his cousin’s bathos. “Darce, snap out of it. You forget with whom you are talking. England is lucky you were not a second son and forced to make the military your career. I see you making a fiery speech and then surrendering at the first shot.”

“But, I was just…”

“You were just what… wallowing in self-pity? She is not dead, nor is she married. You at least have hope! Get off your bloody arse and make a plan to win her. Can you fix this thing with Bingley and her sister?”

“I could have a month ago, but it has gotten much worse. Miss Bennet rebuked Bingley at a ball. Since she refused to dance with him, she had to sit down for the rest of the evening. Lord and Lady Hastings introduced her to the Earl of Elderton and the Viscount Wolfbridge. She found both of them quite handsome and charming, and was invited to visit Elderton House on Wednesday.”

“So go to London and prevent her from attending. Will she know you have her best interest at heart?”

“No, I am of the opinion she knows that I, along with his sisters, persuaded Bingley to abandon her. Please, Richard, I need your help with this.” With that admission, Darcy stood and began to pace. The movement seemed to promote more productive thoughts. “You and Georgiana should take Miss Elizabeth in my carriage to London tomorrow. Mrs Annesley is at Darcy House awaiting Georgiana’s return. The three of you can accompany Miss Elizabeth to your parents’ house on Wednesday and ensure nothing untoward happens to either her or Miss Bennet.” He stopped to poke the fire rather violently. “Have the carriage return immediately after you arrive, and I will leave for London on Wednesday morning with Bethany and Lewis. It would not do for the children to know something is wrong. I heard a story today that has made me cautious of alarming them, and I particularly want to protect them from knowing anything is troubling Miss Elizabeth.” He gestured with the poker as he concluded. “The longer I can keep Lady Catherine from realizing something is afoot, the better. Allow me to smooth over any ruffled feathers she may have after you and Georgiana depart. That should lessen any suspicions she may have.”

Richard was pleased that his verbal slap had returned his cousin to the appearance of sense. “Why not just suggest Miss Elizabeth write a letter to her sister, warning her? You could send one of Rosing’s stable hands with the letter. It would arrive in time.”