Goodly Creatures: A Pride and Prejudice Deviation (74 page)

Once the ladies were all gathered in her girlish pink bedroom, Georgiana gave Lizzy a very soulful look as she said, “Since I have no sister, it is important you enlighten me. My brother is a poor source of this sort of information. Tell me what is the appropriate reaction of fashionable young women to such a momentous occasion as a gentleman’s offer of marriage… provided one is inclined to accept?”

Becky looked at Jane and signalled to her friend that she would go first. She was quite certain her story was the less interesting of the two. “I have been very fortunate over the years to be an honorary Bennet sister, but unfortunately I was in Bath when Mary accepted Mr Collins. Nor had Jane and I evaluated the particulars of her acceptance of Mr Bingley before Sir Gareth asked Lord Hastings for permission to have a private conference with me. From the bits of information she has shared since, I know my experience was not as filled with heart pounding excitement as was hers.”

Rebecca decided she would begin her tale by relating those details that her father would be most interested in when next they were together. “Of course, I knew what was about to happen; but at the time, all I could think about was what would Papa do? We were allowed to meet in my aunt’s green parlour, and my biggest fear was that the walls would make my complexion appear sallow.”

Becky’s deliberate attempt to find the humour in her very personal memory brought a smile to Elizabeth’s face. The conversation was not to her liking, but she did not want to spoil the obvious pleasure of Georgiana. She knew Mr Darcy did not harbour resentment at her cruel rejection, but all this talk of proposals made her wish her words had not been quite so brutal. She turned her mind from the remorse of that memory and pondered Georgiana’s desire to know. Could she and Jamie be closer to an understanding than Elizabeth had thought?

Becky was enjoying telling of Sir Gareth’s proposal and her acceptance. “As I said, I was quite certain he was going to propose, but I had yet to hear the words that would make our alliance definite. When it happened, it was much as I had read in novels. He got down on one knee, and he held my hand throughout.” Becky let out a little giggle as she continued. “The only thing unusual about what happened was that he blushed often, and his face became the same colour as his hair, and both definitely clashed with my aunt’s green parlour. I blushed as well, and I know that I must have looked very unattractive given that the colour of my gown was plum… but at least my complexion did not appear sallow.” She waited for the laugh from her audience before she continued in a more serious manner. “He kissed my hand when I said, ‘yes.’ Later that day, we went together to tell his daughter, Sian.”

Though Georgiana laughed at Becky’s description, her thoughts had strayed to her own hopes. Would Sir Gareth’s best friend be as formal? She had imagined Jamie would propose while they were playing a duet on the pianoforte, or perhaps in the midst of an intense political discussion. He was so passionate about both. In her dreams those emotions would spill over and cause him to declare his feelings for her. She hoped it would happen without warning, and it would end in more than a kiss on the hand.

Jane began her description with laughter. “When I first arrived at the billiard room, I was greeted by one of his amiable smiles. His expression allowed me to relax and feel hopeful he would accept my apology. I felt great remorse for my recent rudeness and was anxious to make amends. My forwardness astounds me, and I now realize I have more in common with my sister Lydia than I was previously aware. He agreed to accompany me to the solarium. My hope was that the room would be calming, and allow me to ask for forgiveness with poise.”

Jane’s face reflected the pleasure she felt in remembering what happened next. “Once we were seated next to each other in the solarium, I began by telling him I was sorry for my cut at Lord Colton’s ball as well as my pique with him at the theatre and Lady Elderton’s tea. He then apologized for allowing Mr Darcy to persuade him I was a fortune hunter, and for his sister’s cruel lies. He told me that the two of you,” Jane snickered as she gestured toward Georgiana, “were good friends, but neither had ever been inclined toward affection.” Georgiana smiled and nodded as Jane answered her agreement. “I assured him I knew that his sister’s contention about Miss Darcy to be an untruth, because unlike Miss Bingley, I was privy to your being in Kent with my sisters. After about a quarter hour of apologies going back and forth, he paused and took my hand. The words of his great admiration, ardent love and hope for a brilliant future together came tumbling out. I agreed immediately, and soon after asked if I could feel his head. He looked rather startled, but indulged me. He definitely has a dip, but it was more difficult to feel because he has more hair than Tom.”

Jane and Thomas Trent’s sister shared a glance filled with melancholy, until Becky once again injected humour into the confidences shared among friends. “So Janey, are you hoping he goes bald soon, in the furtherance of regaining the full enjoyment of your childhood fixation.”

The entire group laughed, and Jane, once she was able to speak, replied, “No, I quite like his angelic curls, and hope to enjoy them for years to come, but if and when they do thin, I will have the curvature of his scalp as compensation.” Jane’s eyes sparkled and a mischievous grin stole across her face. “Since I had been so forward in asking to touch his head, he felt emboldened and asked if he could kiss me. I agreed, but was unsure what to do. It was quite enjoyable, and I am eagerly anticipating the next time. I have been thinking of little else than appropriate responses since it happened.”

The other young women first expressed astonishment at her willingness to share such an intimate event with them, but the next moment found them bursting into giggles at the thought of being kissed themselves. That is, all but Elizabeth. She feigned amusement for the others, but could only imagine being held.

The gossip turned to Miss Bingley’s capturing the admiration of the very wealthy, though quite portly, Lord Percy Goldstaff. Georgiana had searched Elizabeth’s eyes before she wondered aloud whether this might merely be an attempt by Miss Bingley to make Mr Darcy jealous. “If so, she will be sadly dismayed by Will’s reaction—or should I say non-reaction to such a gambit. She is the furthest thing from his mind these days.”

Jane shared, without a hint of derision, what she had been told by Mr Bingley. “Caroline is quite taken by Lord Goldstaff’s beautiful house and his status as a widower with no children.”

Elizabeth was tired of the conversation. It had been a welcome diversion that had not managed to subdue her anxiety. As her departure from London loomed, the doubts and longing that plagued her increased. She excused herself, without calling attention to her need to be away, by saying she was going to the nursery to check on Bethany and Lewis. She sat in a chair and observed them sleeping peacefully. Finally, the tears came, and she was able to purge her despair for another day.

Elizabeth made several trips to Gracechurch Street during her stay in London. She felt sorely in need of guidance from her aunt and uncle. The life she had built in response to her tragedy had been spinning out of control ever since Mr Darcy had arrived in Hertfordshire. She had talked some about her quandary with them at Christmas, and a bit more during her stay, prior to travelling to Kent. At the time of those discussions, the only real change to her situation was the welcome addition of her father’s knowledge. Now she often felt panic rising in her throat when she contemplated the number of people who knew her secret.

The circumstances that had forced her to make revelations to Mary, Miss Darcy and Jane were recounted to the Gardiners, as well as the fact of Mr Darcy unburdening their secret to his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam. She put forth the assumption that Mary had told Mr Collins, because he had not questioned her disguise. Elizabeth now knew from Jane that Mr Bingley had noticed her resemblance to Bethany, and was certain he would learn the truth quite soon. Still, she felt confident that he would tell no one—particularly his sisters—who he felt had betrayed him with regard to Jane. Elizabeth told her aunt and uncle that most who knew loved either her or Darcy or both, and would do anything to protect Bethany. Lizzy related some qualms about the Countess. There was evidence the Colonel might have revealed some of the truth to his mother. She seemed very sympathetic, but her loyalties were still an unknown. The Viscount had told his wife of violating a very young woman, a gentleman’s daughter, who demanded money not to expose him to her father. Now that she had met Lady Wolfbridge, Elizabeth wondered how long it would take her to put the pieces together.

Elizabeth spent quite some time telling her aunt and uncle about Lord Elderton. He might have known all along, and even if he did not—he definitely knew now. Mr Darcy had assured her that the Earl accepted the need to keep the circumstances quiet. His reputation would be tarnished if the whole ‘unseemly mess’ became public. However, in return for his promise; he had demanded to know the details of the money transactions. Lizzy believed he had not been told everything by Mr Darcy, but he had revealed to his uncle that the Viscount had not paid a penny in reparations. To his nephew’s annoyance, Lord Elderton had been quite pleased by that fact.

Mrs Gardiner noticed a wistful look on her niece’s face when she revealed that Mr Darcy had paid the three thousand pounds negotiated as Lord Wolfbridge’s obligation, as well as adding an additional three thousand purely as his contribution.

Both Mr and Mrs Gardiner saw that her dread of exposure seemed to be forgotten, at least for the moment, when Lizzy recounted Mr Darcy’s confrontation with his cousin. The damage his punch had done to the Viscount’s face even caused her to smile

Mr Gardiner reassured his niece that exposure was still unlikely. None of those who knew had any reason to make the secret common knowledge. He also concluded that the intervening six years, and the regular occurrence of scandals among the
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would probably protect Elizabeth, Darcy and Bethany from the full force of gossip if the truth became more widely known. They were old news and lesser players to the London set. The reaction of the societies of Hertfordshire and Derbyshire were more of an unknown, but Mr Darcy’s reputation and willingness to publicly defend Elizabeth and his daughter boded well for an adequate resolution in the event of exposure.

Before Elizabeth returned to Darcy House, she was able to find time to be alone with her aunt. After watching her niece fidget and begin to speak several times, Mrs Gardiner asked, “Elizabeth, something is bothering you… you can tell me. I have been your confidante these many years and circumstances have forced us to speak of the most intimate of topics.”

At her aunt’s prompting, Elizabeth blurted out, “Mr Darcy proposed to me. I was very distraught that day because of several distressing events. The most upsetting was the letter I received from Jane, describing her meeting with Lord Wolfbridge, and how very charming she found him and Lord Elderton.” She took in a deep breath to calm herself. “My rejection of Mr Darcy was vociferous, and I unleashed years of pent up anger toward his family upon him. Many of the things I said were demeaning and cruel.”

Now, instead of looking chagrined by her behaviour; Mrs Gardiner saw her niece develop that same faraway smile that she had seen several times before at the mention of Mr Darcy.

“He actually handled my vitriol quite well. I knew I had hurt him, but he listened quietly to my ranting. Once I calmed down, he agreed to meet me the next day for a more civil explanation of why I could not marry. In the interim, he had taken control of the situation for saving Jane, and thanks to him, nothing untoward happened to my beloved sister and, as you know, she is now ecstatically engaged to Mr Bingley.”

“Why are you telling me this, Lizzy?”

“Because I love him, but I will never be able to accept him. I also love Bethany, Lewis and Georgiana. I would like to be with them.”

“What are your reasons for refusing him?”

“One reason has to do with his family. Every time I even think about Lord Wolfbridge, I feel dread and repulsion. It would be repugnant to be in his company for any family events. His wife is Bethany’s godmother. In addition, some of his family, including Lord Elderton and his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and of course, the Viscount, feel much animosity toward me. News of my engagement to Mr Darcy could easily prompt one of them to retaliate by exposing the circumstances of Bethany’s birth. Both of us have a duty to think of her first. I also worry about Mary and Mr Collins. Lady Catherine is not able to take his living away, but I fear she could denounce them to his parishioners as being related to a fallen woman.”