Goodnight Sweetheart (36 page)

‘Molly, will yer—’

She pulled her hands away and jumped up so quickly she nearly overturned her chair.

‘No, Frank, no, you mustn’t. I won’t listen to any more. I can’t … we mustn’t. There’s our June to think of.’ She shook her head, unable to say any more.

The first thing Molly did just as soon as Frank had gone was pick up Lillibet and go upstairs to her bedroom where she put the baby in her cot and picked up her sister’s photograph. She could barely see June’s face for her own guilty tears, as she sobbed out her distress and misery to her, before hugging the photograph tightly to her chest.

‘Molly lass, what’s wrong?’

Molly could hardly bring herself to look at her father. It was four days now since Frank had spoken to her and there hadn’t even been one of them when she hadn’t woken up longing to be able to tell him that there was nothing she wanted more than to be his wife and Lillibet’s mam, and at the same time hating herself for the way she felt.

Today was New Year’s Eve and tonight she and Frank and some of the others from the close were all going dancing at the Grafton, whilst her father and Frank’s mam looked after Lillibet.

‘Come on, lass, you can tell yer old dad, can’t yer?’ Albert coaxed gently. He hated seeing his little Molly like this. She had allus bin such a happy girl, aye, and a brave ’un as well, and he had begun to hope since Frank had come home that maybe …

‘It’s Frank, Dad,’ Molly told him miserably.
‘He’s said as how he wants me to think about us getting wed so that our Lillibet can have a proper mam and dad, but how can I, Dad, when there’s our June?’ Tears filled Molly’s eyes and spilled down onto her pale cheeks. ‘Frank were June’s hubby and it meks me feel like I’d be stealing him from her if I were to say yes, but I want to say yes, Dad, and that meks me feel right bad about meself.’

‘Eeh, lass …’ He shook his head sympathetically. Although he’d never upset her by saying so, he knew that as a young girl Molly had been sweet on Frank, and he could see now how distressed she was.

‘But if it weren’t for our June, would you really want to wed him, lass?’

Molly’s flushed face and bent head gave him his answer.

‘I don’t want to tek what’s rightfully June’s, Dad. It’s different with Lillibet ’cos I’ll be telling her all about her mam when she’s growing up and she’ll know that our June were her mam, and that I love her just as if she were me own for her own sake as well as for our June’s, but with Frank …’

She went over to her father and put her head on his shoulder. ‘Sally Walker were saying only the other day as how Frank is bound to remarry because it’s different for men and it’s wartime, but you never put anyone else in our mam’s place, Dad.’

She felt his chest lift and then fall with his sigh.

‘I’ll be honest wi’ you, Molly. There were times, aye, and lots of them, when I’d have given anything to have met someone who could have been a mother to the two of you and a wife to me, but somehow it never happened. But it’s different in wartime, Molly. And do you know what? I reckon if you was able to ask our June she’d say as how she’d rather you was wed to Frank and bring up Lillibet than some stranger. In fact, I reckon if our June is up there looking down right now she’d be telling you that there’s nothing she wants more than for her little ’un to grow up with you as her mam. You know how it was with the two of you, Molly. I did me best for both of you, and June mothered you in her own way, but poor June never had anyone to mother her and I reckon I did badly by her by not finding someone who might have done. June missed her mam, Molly, and she wouldn’t want her own kiddie growing up wi’out a mam.’

Molly knew there was a good deal of truth in what he was saying.

Her father could see this and he pressed home his advantage. ‘June is wi’ her mam now, Molly, bless ’em both.’ He paused to wipe the tears from his eyes. ‘And do you know what? June allus knew as you had a soft spot for her Frank and I reckon if you could ask her now she’d tell you that she wants you to wed him and look after her little
’un. There’s no shame in you having feelings for a fine upstanding chap like Frank, Molly, nor any shame in him having them for you. He were a good husband to our June and you were a good sister to her. I reckon folks’ll think it only right and natural that you and Frank should wed, especially with you tekkin’ on June’s little ’un. And I reckon your Eddie would agree with me as well. He wouldn’t want to see you all on your own, Molly. He’d want you to be happy, just as you would want that for him if he had bin left here without you. That’s what loving someone is all about – wantin’ the best for them.’

Frank looked so handsome in his uniform, his thick dark hair neatly combed back off his face and his broad shoulders making him stand out against all the other men, even though the Grafton was packed with people celebrating New Year’s Eve. Molly felt so proud to be here with him and yet, at the same time, she felt so shy and apprehensive. Frank hadn’t mentioned what he had said to her again, and if it hadn’t been for the look she had seen in his eyes earlier in the evening when he had called to collect her, she might almost have thought she had imagined their conversation.

It was almost midnight and her tummy was churning with a mixture of confusing feelings. She wanted desperately to tell him that she did want them to have a future together, but her thoughts
of her sister still held her back. The band started to play ‘Blues in the Night’. Frank looked at her, and asked, ‘Will you dance with me, Molly?’

Her mouth had gone so dry she couldn’t speak and had to nod her head instead. Like someone in a dream, she watched as he stood up and then turned to pull out her chair for her. When he led her onto the dance floor, she trembled slightly, and then she trembled even more when he took her in his arms.

She had danced with him before, but never like this, never knowing that he wanted to court her and make her his wife, never knowing that the look she was seeing in his eyes meant that he desired her as a woman.

‘Don’t look at me like that, Molly,’ he commanded her gruffly. ‘Not unless you want me to kiss you right here on the dance floor in front of everyone.’

‘If we was to be together I’d still want Lillibet to grow up knowing all about our June,’ she told him.

Frank missed a step and then looked at her with a mixture of surprise and delight. ‘
Molly
. Oh, Molly lass!’

‘Frank, you mustn’t hold me so tight …’ Molly was breathless and blushing, and oh so deliciously happy.

‘Yes, I must,’ he told her masterfully. ‘And as for Lillibet – of course we’ll tell her all about your June, but she’ll still call you “Mam”, Molly.’

Molly trembled and blushed even more, and now it was her turn to miss a step, so that Frank had to hold her even more tightly and draw her closer to him.

‘I’d not want to tek anything that’s rightfully our June’s,’ Molly insisted bravely.

‘Me feelings for you belong to you, Molly.’

She looked at him. They had stopped dancing but she hadn’t even noticed. She looked up into his kind, loving eyes and then at his familiar smiling mouth and her heart did a somersault.

‘When I was a girl I had a right crush on you, Frank.’ She could see his smile widening.

‘But you’re not a girl any more; you’re a woman now, Molly, a lovely, strong, beautiful woman. Maybe it’s too soon to say this, but I can’t help meself. I love you, Molly,’ he told her fiercely.

And then he kissed her. Not as a friend, but as a man, and she kissed him back, whilst all around them people broke into cheers to greet the New Year. Somewhere in the distance she could hear Vera Lynn singing about bluebirds and white cliffs, and suddenly it didn’t seem as though those days of peace ever after were such an impossibility after all.

I’ll take care of him, June, Molly promised mentally. I’ll take care of both of them, and your Lillibet will grow up with a proper mam and dad of her own. I promise.

And it seemed to Molly that she felt a small exhaled breath and heard an impatient sigh, and
inside her head her sister’s voice told her briskly, ‘Oh, give over being so soft, our Molly. As if I didn’t know that for meself.’

GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART

Annie Groves lives in the North-West of England and has done so all of her life. She is also the author of
Ellie Pride, Connie’s
Courage
and
Hettie of Hope Street
, a series of novels for which she drew upon her own family’s history, picked up from listening to her grandmother’s stories when she was a child.
Goodnight Sweetheart
is based on wartime recollections of Liverpool from members of her family who come from the city.

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