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Authors: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Gorilla Beach

BOOK: Gorilla Beach
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Fist pumps for Snooki!

“Draw[s] our attention like a berserk windup toy…. The breakout member of the cast.”
—
The New York Times

“Incomparable.”
—
New York
magazine

“Our favorite diminutive reality star.”
—
People.com

“America has gone nuts for Snooki.”
—
FoxNews.com

“A nationwide sensation.”
—
New York Daily News

When you're this smokin', winning is a shore thing….

Jersey's sexiest guidettes are back for another scandalous summer at the Shore, and this time, Giovanna “Gia” Spumanti and Isabella “Bella” Rizzoli are raising the stakes to find thrills and hot gorillas—unemployment, douchebag exes, family drama, and dingy apartment be damned!

But when the girls unknowingly cross an overprotective mafiosa mama, all bets are off. Booted from Seaside Heights for good, the spunky, sequined meatball and her sensitive, quiet cousin are forced to flee to Atlantic City. Their escort out of hell is Fredo, a weird and scrawny but hooked-up club manager from a prominent family, whose master plan is to pimp out Gia's psychic gifts at the roulette tables.

Suddenly, it's raining benjamins for the coiffed and tanned threesome. Top-shelf tequila and seafood dinners are not all they're scoring. Bella snags a pale but talented boardwalk artist, Gia hooks up with a high-stakes poker hottie, and with Gia's coaching, Fredo just might have a chance at becoming a certified juicehead. Or, at least, a gorilla-in-training.

But when the casino suspects cheating, the trio is hounded by haters and tricksters determined to sabotage their endless summer. With hearts and loot on the line, losing is not a chance the crew can take.
This
time, the house isn't going to win….

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
is the
New York Times
bestselling author of
A Shore Thing
and
Confessions of a Guidette.
Famous for her trendsetting pouf hairstyle, her small stature, and her acrobatic moves on the dance floor, she is the breakout star of MTV's
Jersey Shore,
one of the highest-rated shows in the network's history. She has been parodied on
Saturday Night Live,
appeared on almost every major talk show, and been featured in
The New York Times.
Visit her online at
snookinicole.com
.

MEET THE AUTHORS, WATCH VIDEOS AND MORE AT
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JACKET DESIGN BY LISA LITWACK
JACKET PHOTOGRAPH BY SCOTT MCDERMOTT
COPYRIGHT © 2012 SIMON & SCHUSTER

Gorilla Beach

Nicole
Snooki
Polizzi

 

Gallery Books

A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2012 by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books hardcover edition May 2012

GALLERY BOOKS and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at
www.simonspeakers.com
.

Designed by Joy O'Meara

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Polizzi, Nicole

Gorilla beach / by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. — 1st Gallery Books hardcover ed.

      p. cm.

1. Seaside resorts—Fiction. 2. Seaside Heights (N.J.)—Fiction. I. Title.

   PS3616.O56775G67 2012

   813›.6—dc232011052765

ISBN 978–1–4516–5708–1

ISBN 978–1–4516–5710–4 (eBook)

Contents

Acknowledgments

Chapter One: Like a Slutty Virgin

Chapter Two: That Sicko Freak Happens to Be My Son

Chapter Three: Home Sweat Home

Chapter Four: Follow the Bouncing Meatball

Chapter Five: Girls Just Wanna Have Rum

Chapter Six: May I Cut the Cheese for You?

Chapter Seven: Guidar on the Fritz

Chapter Eight: No Badge, No Beach

Chapter Nine: B-I-M-B-O, and Bimbo Was Her Name-O

Chapter Ten: A Six-Piece Set of Emotional Douche Baggage

Chapter Eleven: The Short Good-Bye

Chapter Twelve: Too Pretty for Sin City

Chapter Thirteen: Gorilla Ground Zero

Chapter Fourteen: Always Bet on Tan

Chapter Fifteen: The Right Way to Hug a Guido

Chapter Sixteen: Is That a Sharpie in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?

Chapter Seventeen: Happy Daze

Chapter Eighteen: On Your Mark

Chapter Nineteen: WWGD

Chapter Twenty: Living in the Pits

Chapter Twenty-One: Dance, Dance Evolution

Chapter Twenty-Two: Won and Done

Chapter Twenty-Three: The Brazillionaires

Chapter Twenty-Four: Red Alert

Chapter Twenty-Five: Batshit Being the Technical Term

Chapter Twenty-Six: I See Tequila in Your Future

Chapter Twenty-Seven: A Good Hard Whiff of Gorilla

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Hell Isn't This Hot

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Venus on the Oyster Shell

Chapter Thirty: Wound Up Like Spaghetti on a Friggin' Fork

Chapter Thirty-One: How to Grow a Pair in One Fell Sploosh

Chapter Thirty-Two: Lucky in Lurve

Chapter Thirty-Three: Scumbags Are My Weakness

Chapter Thirty-Four: Snatch

Chapter Thirty-Five: No Crocadillies Were Harmed During the Writing of This Book

Chapter Thirty-Six: The Atlantic City Dump

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Just Got Out of Open-Heart Surgery

Chapter Thirty-Eight: America's Most Wanted Dickhead

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Going Down

Chapter Forty: The Ballad of Pretzel and Kookah

BOOK: Gorilla Beach
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