Gotcha! (25 page)

Julie smiled and bowed. “Did my granddaughter’s money pay for those breast implants you’re packing around, the ones that make you look like you’re about to topple over on your face with every step you take?”

“What? What are you talking about, you crazy bitch? What breast implants?”

“I’m more than capable of taking them out to show you exactly what I’m talking about. A slice here, a slice there, and out they pop, along with the serial numbers, which will let us determine who paid for them. You want to give it a shot, Miss I-Don’t-Have-Breast-Implants?” Julie snapped.

For the first time since waking up, Darlene’s face registered fear. “Okay, Adam paid for them. He didn’t tell me where he got the money.”

“Tell us what we want to know, and maybe we’ll let you go, with your double false front. I’m saying
maybe
, because it depends on whether you’re truthful or not.”

“Why should I believe you?”

“ ’Cause I’m the only game in town right now,” Julie said. “What about you, Mr. Adam Fortune? What do you have to say about all this?”

“She’s a damned loser. She promised me the moon and the stars, said she’d buy me a big boat and a Cadillac Escalade. She said I could have whatever I wanted; we could get a housekeeper. She said we could shop at Neiman Marcus and Saks, because she was going to get all her dead husband’s money. She even said the kid was going to be getting two grand a month in her Social Security until she was eighteen. She said we could live as high as we wanted, take trips all over the place. We didn’t even make Disney. Yeah, right, I’m damned lucky if I can shop at Walmart. She is one sorry-assed loser,” Adam said viciously.

“Tell me about the day my son died,” Julie said quietly, so quietly the others had to strain to hear her words.

“I don’t know anything about that.”

“You’re lying,” Julie said.

Darlene clamped her lips tight. She looked over at Myra and Annie, then at the boys. Her eyes popped wide. She cowered back in her chair, her face a mask of fear. Then she looked at Adam and screeched at the top of her lungs. “I knew those two women looked familiar. They belong to the vigilantes. Those guys work for the vigilantes. You are beyond stupid, Adam. They’re behind all this. What . . . what are you going to do to us?”

“Nothing you’re going to like. Julie Wyatt here asked you questions, very nicely, I might add, and you both had attitude. So, unless you want to share your knowledge, we’re going to have to use some rather unorthodox methods to get the answers we want. We don’t like attitude unless it’s
our
attitude. You disrespected us. We can’t have that now, can we? But before we go that route, we need Ms. Darlene Wyatt here to sign some papers,” Myra said.

Darlene started shaking her head so violently, it looked like it was going to spin right off her neck.

“I think all that shaking means Darlene is letting us know that she has no intention of signing anything,” Annie observed.

“Want to bet?” Jack asked, firing up the acetylene torch.

“I’m not signing nothing,” she spit.

“Yeah, you are,” Jack said, advancing with the flaming torch. “That frizzy-assed hair of yours is going to go up like dry tinder. Your head will have third-degree burns on it. And if you still hold out, well, see that battery over there? I’m going to hook it up to your implants and watch this chair holding your body bounce all the way to the ceiling. Make your choice and do it quick.”

“Do it! The bitch deserves every bit of it,” Adam bellowed.

“It might be a good thing if you shut up right now, you gigolo, because you’re next,” Annie said. “I couldn’t find a scalpel on such short notice, but this very dull-looking steak knife should work almost as well. You’ll be a eunuch before you know it. Well, that depends on how much sawing is involved.”

“Sign what?” Darlene asked.

“First, this paper giving guardianship of Olivia to me,” Julie said. “The second set of papers is your admission that you did not give aid to my son when he was dying and never called EMS and that you were negligent in his death. This one says that you carried on an affair with that
thing
sitting next to you while you were married to my son. This set of papers says you relinquish any claim to this house and admit that it belongs totally to Olivia. This final set of papers is your admission that you squandered Olivia’s Social Security money and need to reimburse her. Five years at two thousand dollars a month is a tidy sum. In case you can’t do the numbers, it’s one hundred and twenty thousand dollars.”

“You bitch!” Adam screeched. “You told me the kid only got eight hundred dollars a month and that’s why I had to get a second job. You said in a few years she’d be bringing in two grand. You lied! You bitch!”

Even as he was screaming at Darlene, Adam Fortune wasn’t thinking about Olivia’s Social Security or even the papers these people were talking about. He was thinking about what Olivia had told him earlier in her bedroom. “Where’s Olivia?” he asked.

“That’s really a stupid question for someone who thinks he’s so smart. Olivia is with Connie and Carrie. They came here for her while you were taking a snooze on the kitchen floor. She will never come back to this house, and you will never come back to it, either, Adam. The good life is now officially over. You and your lady friend here are going on a long trip. The people of Rosemont, Alabama, will just have to live without your presence in this town,” Julie said.

Adam felt his heart start to pound. Olivia had said he and Darlene were going away. The kid was right. Still, he blustered. “Darlene, do not sign anything. Go to hell.”

“Sorry, Adam, you just earned yourself a bit of a haircut. Hit it, Jack!”

The little group cringed at the sound of Adam Fortune’s hair crackling in the torch’s blaze. His howl of pain and stunned surprise could be heard ricocheting all over the house.

“Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I am not going to sign those damned papers. You people are crazy.”

A vision of her implants being ripped out of her chest flashed before Darlene’s eyes.

“That wasn’t nice, Darlene,” Annie said as she gave the beehive hairdo a vicious yank. “Say you’re sorry.”

“Yeah, okay, I’m sorry,” Darlene bleated, as she looked at Adam’s blistered head, thankful that her own hair and implants were still in place.

“You ready to sign those papers now?” Myra asked.

“Go to hell, you bitch!”

“I’m going to take that as a no,” Annie said cheerfully. “Get the battery ready, boys. Myra and I will strip her down.”

The kitchen chair Darlene was strapped to with duct tape took on a life of its own. Ted and Espinosa literally flew across the room to steady it so the two women could peel off Darlene’s clothes. With Harry’s help, Bert stripped off Adam’s clothes.

“Ain’t much there, boys and girls,” Jack said with clinical interest as he stared at Adam’s private parts. “What that means is there isn’t all that much to work with. And, I need some plastic gloves. Two pair, to be on the safe side.” Myra whipped two pair of surgical gloves out of her oversize bag and held them up for everyone to see.

“I’ll be happy to do it for you, Jack, if it’s bothering you. Annie’s going to do the implant removal, so I should do this. Fair is fair,” Myra said, as though she were discussing whether it would rain or not.

Darlene Wyatt fainted.

Adam stopped screaming, his eyes rolling back in his head. Then, he, too, passed out. Jack’s arms flapped in the air. “What? Is this break time? Cigarette break? What?”

“I thought you quit smoking,” Ted said.

“I did, but this is stressful. I need a cigarette. I really do.”

“Fortune smokes. I saw a pack of cigarettes in the kitchen,” Ted said.

“Why don’t all you boys go outside for a little break. Annie and I will have a little Come to Jesus meeting with these two after we revive them. My goodness, this skunk’s head is really blistering. Reminds me of the time we skinned what’s his name way back when. His whole body was
raw
and looked just like Adam’s head.”

“I really need a cigarette,” Jack said in a strangled voice.

“I know you do, dear, and no one thinks any the less of you for it. Scoot along now and let us ladies tend to things.”

Annie grinned as the boys bolted for the kitchen and the back door.

“We need to watch the time, Annie. We’ve been here a good while.” Myra looked over at Julie and asked what time the neighbors would be returning from church.

“Not till around one o’clock. We have plenty of time. It’s bothering me that we don’t have a real notary, though.”

“Bert’s a notary, not to worry,” Myra said. “In the end, it really isn’t going to matter, because these two won’t be around to contest it. We’re good to go.”

Julie heaved a huge sigh of relief. “Adam is coming around.”

“So is the princess with the fake boobs,” Annie said.

J
ulie towered over Adam Fortune. “The pain you’re feeling right now is nothing compared to what else we’re going to do to you. And you,” she said, glaring at Darlene, “you, I am going to deal with personally. When you leave here, you’re both going to wish you were dead. But death is too good for the likes of you.” Julie continued to glare at Darlene, who was bawling her eyes out.

Between sobs, she managed to sniffle and wail that it was all Adam’s fault, he’d gone after her. “He lied to me. Everything was a lie. He wouldn’t leave me alone. He lusted after me like a tomcat after a bitch in heat. He said we would give the kid back to you when you coughed up Larry’s money. Neither one of us wanted to be saddled with the kid. He promised me, and he lied. That kid hated me from day one. I hated her, too. Every chance he got, Adam threw your son in my face. He was this, he was that, he was handsome, he was rich, he was perfect. How do you think I liked hearing crap like that every day? Take your hate out on him. He’s a loser scumbag weasel.”

Julie stared at the woman as she spouted her venom. She very calmly walked out to the kitchen, looked around at the butcher block of knives, and saw a meat mallet jammed in among the knives. She picked it up and hefted it a few times to get the feel of it. Satisfied, she calmly walked back into the family room and once again looked down at Darlene Wyatt. Without a moment’s hesitation, she raised up her arm and brought it down on top of Darlene’s nose. Blood flew in all directions. Darlene’s screams bounced off the family-room walls. Julie shrugged and moved over to Adam Fortune. “Give me one good reason, just one, why I shouldn’t do the same thing to you? Are you going to encourage her to sign those papers or not?”

Adam struggled to take a deep breath. “She’s not signing anything, you crazy bitch! You’re insane! You need to be locked up somewhere with padded walls. So there!” he screamed. He could hardly think straight with the way his head was burning. He could actually feel blisters popping up all over his head.

So there!
The heavy mallet found its mark. A sea of blood flew up and down and around the room. “
So there
, yourself!” Julie said, as calmly as if she were wishing him a pleasant day.

Annie and Myra looked at one another as if to say,
this lady has it going on
.

Julie walked back to Darlene and her bloody face. “I think you need to convince your boyfriend here we mean business before I knock those pricey veneers out of your mouth. Because then, he won’t be able to understand a thing you say. Why do you even bother listening to him, anyway? It’s not his decision, it’s yours. One chance,” Julie said, waving the mallet around.

“Adam, for God’s sake, let me do what she wants. Don’t you get it, you stupid ass? She won. The kid is gone. She just waltzed out of here with her two aunts. She was my only bargaining chip, and it’s gone now, so I’m going to sign the goddamned papers.”

“Shut up, Darlene. They can’t keep the kid, you stupid jerk. That would be kidnapping. So they have to cough up some of that money the bitch got from Oprah. But if you sign those papers, that’s all gone.”

“Stuff it, Adam. We don’t exist, or have you forgotten that? How can we bring any attention to Olivia’s kidnapping if there is no record of our existing, much less having Olivia?”

Julie, who had momentarily been concerned about the possibility of a kidnapping charge, bounced back when she considered the obvious truth of what Darlene had just said. “Ah, true love! Isn’t it wonderful? She’s right, Adam. Ollie is gone. You will never set eyes on that child, or her money, again. So, how much longer do you want to play this game?” Adam spit in her general direction. Julie stepped back just in time to avoid the bloody discharge spewing from his mouth. In the blink of an eye, the mallet came down, and Adam’s teeth flew from his mouth. In the second blink of an eye, Darlene’s teeth sailed across the room. Both bound occupants blacked out.

“Do you think I overdid it?” Julie asked.

“Not one little bit,” Annie said. Myra agreed. “It doesn’t look like she’s going to sign the papers, Julie.”

“It does look like that, doesn’t it? I wonder what she’d do if we threatened to pour vinegar over his burned head.”

Myra shivered. So did Annie.

“I’m thinking the pain would be pretty unbearable,” Julie said.

“We think that, too, don’t we, Annie?”

“Uh-huh.”

Adam stirred, his eyes wild and unfocused. “Yo, Adam. You ready to tell your bimbo girlfriend to sign those papers yet?” When there was no response, Julie trotted out to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of rice vinegar. She waved it around. Adam spit again. His eyes were focused now and spewing hatred.

“See, now this is how it’s going to work. I’m saving the vinegar till last. I really hate stooping to your level, Adam, and talking the way you do, but this is what’s next on the agenda. We’re going to hook up your . . . ah . . . dick to that battery sitting on the coffee table, and we’re going to charge you up. Right now, though, the only problem I seem to be facing is whether I should remove Darlene’s implants while you watch, or should we charge you up and let her watch? Such a dilemma. Such a simple thing, signing one’s name to a bunch of papers.”

“Rot in hell, you bitch. No court is going to give you Olivia. Grandparents have no rights in this state. Darlene legally adopted that kid. The court system here bends over backward for the parent.” At least, that’s what the women thought he said without his teeth. They all started to laugh hysterically.

“What part of
Olivia is already gone
don’t you get, Adam? Hey, worst-case scenario, we’ll forge Darlene’s name on those papers. Neither one of you exist in the eyes of the law, remember? What that means is you are suffering this torture—which, by the way, is only going to get worse—for nothing. So, you going to tell her to sign or not?”

“I told you to rot in hell, you bitch! You might have Olivia, but you didn’t get her legally. One of these days, it will catch up with you, and you’ll end up in jail.”

“Yeah, maybe that will happen. But, by then, Olivia will be old enough to talk to a judge and tell her the way it was. You underestimated that child, Adam. And you underestimated Larry. You, too, Darlene.”

“I have an idea,” Annie said happily. “Let’s do a twofer. We do the surgery on Darlene and hook up old Adam here at the same time. They can scream a duet together before we have them carted off.”

“That’s a splendiferous idea,” Myra said. “Julie is definitely nodding, so I think she’s agreeing with us.”

“I’m all atwitter,” Julie said.

“Adam, please, let me sign the damned papers. I don’t want to die. They’re going to kill us, and if they don’t kill us outright, we’ll bleed to death. For once in your stupid life, do the smart thing. I wish to hell I had never met you! God, I hate you!”

“The day I met you was the worst day of my life. You’re the reason we’re sitting here tied up like two chickens. I gave up my whole life for you, you skank.”

Myra, Annie, and Julie stepped back and listened as the two lovebirds went at it tooth and nail.

The boys walked in at the tail end of the tirade. They looked around at the blood-splattered floor and walls, at Darlene’s pricey veneers scattered all over the rug, and at Adam’s squared-off oversize teeth. “You’ve been busy, I see,” Jack said.

“Where’s Avery?” Myra asked.

“Twenty minutes out,” Bert said. “You want me to hook up the fire hose to the fire hydrant out front now or wait until Avery gets here?”

Myra looked at Annie. “What do you think? The pressure of the water could kill them. Should we chance it? If they pop, no one but us will know. Wanna flip a coin? But to answer your question, Jack, hook it up and test it to make sure the pressure is what we want.”

“What!” Darlene screamed. She screamed again when she saw Ted and Espinosa drag what looked like a six-inch canvas hose across the floor. The nozzle looked as big as a saucer. She continued to scream at Adam. “Look at it, you damned jerk, and pretend you’re a three-alarm fire, and they’re squirting that damned thing at you. It will turn your body black and blue. You’ll get blood clots. Oh, my God! Look, I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever you want, say whatever you want. I’ll sign the papers no matter what he says. Just please don’t turn that thing on me. Please,” she wailed between her missing teeth.

“Shut the hell up, Darlene,” Adam bellowed. The bellow came out as a hissing sound.

Julie sat down in front of the couple and assumed the lotus position. “I just cannot get over the love you two have for each other. You make my skin crawl.” In a nanosecond, she bounded to her feet and pulled on the latex gloves. She looked at the boys and said, “Hook it up. Ladies, I’m ready when you are. Someone slap some duct tape on his mouth; I don’t want him spitting on me again.”

Annie obliged as the boys looked on, their expressions frightful, their complexions almost green. She wondered which car the battery was hooked up to. Then she decided she really didn’t care as long as the juice flowed straight into Adam Fortune’s penis.

“This is exciting. I have to say, Myra, the last time I was this excited was when we took on the national security advisor. By the way, Darlene, Mr. Woodley died, years later, in a vegetative state.” Darlene screamed and screamed until Myra slapped a strip of duct tape across her mouth, but only after giving the beehive hairdo a vicious jerk.

Julie advanced to Adam’s chair. She used her own knee to pry his legs apart. “Oooh, this is like looking for a needle in a haystack.” She giggled. “Ah, here they are! Oh, Adam, I never thought you and I would get this up close and personal,” she cried excitedly.

Julie hooked one clamp to Adam’s balls, the other to his penis, then stood back. She called out, “Hit it!” Bert passed the word to Ted who passed it to Espinosa who was in the garage and shouted the same words to Jack at the wheel behind their rented SUV, “Hit it, Jack!”

Jack clenched his teeth and muttered to no one in particular, “You stupid, dumb son of a bitch. All you had to do was tell her to sign her name, and this wouldn’t be happening.” He stepped on the gas and clenched his teeth as he tried to imagine what Adam Fortune was feeling. He almost fainted with relief when he finally took his foot off the gas pedal.

Darlene tried not to look at her lover.
Tried
not to. But she couldn’t force her eyes away from Adam, who was twitching and bouncing like a marionette whose strings were tangled up. She wanted to ask if he was dead, but the tape on her mouth prevented her from saying anything at all.

All this over some snot-nosed ten-year-old! Julie sucked in her breath, removed the clamps, and winced at the burns on Adam’s private parts. The hate she felt for him welled up in her, but she backed away. Adam’s chin was resting on his chest, his eyes closed. It was hard to describe the color of his skin, which had once been tawny from the sun. Now it looked splotchy red and white. She wondered how that could be.

“This is just a guess on my part,” Annie singsonged, “but I don’t think Mr. Fortune will be having sex anytime in the near future, if ever. Darlene, listen to the answer. Of course, I’m not a man, so maybe we should ask you fine gentlemen what you think.”

Four heads bobbed from side to side.

“Sorry, Darlene,” Myra said in a voice so gleeful, the boys scurried out to the garage to catch their breaths. Jack looked at them and forced a grin he didn’t feel. “I told you guys more than once never to be in on the climax. Nikki was right the first time, when she said we couldn’t handle the punishments the Sisters doled out. She was right, as usual.”

“They’re bloodthirsty,” Ted said, almost in a whimper.

“They don’t even blink,” Bert said.

“They always look like they’re enjoying it,” Espinosa said.

“That’s because they are,” Jack said in a strangled voice.

The last to weigh in, Harry smiled. “And the world is a better place because of them.” The boys gaped at Harry, but wisely refrained from commenting. Harry continued to smile as he checked the fire hose near his feet.

“I don’t think we’re going to need the hose,” Bert said.

Harry just looked at him and laughed.

Inside, Myra was throwing ice water over Adam Fortune. He jerked upright in the chair, his eyes murderous. “You ready to tell her to sign these papers, Mr. Fortune?” she asked. “Just nod. Guess that means no. Okay, let’s work Darlene over. Who among us has the steadiest hand?”

“That would be me,” Annie said, holding out her hands for proof. Both hands were rock steady. Annie beamed. “I think I need a little sharper knife than this steak knife, though. It might take me a while to saw through the fatty breast tissue. There might be a lot of blood, too. Once we pop those babies, what do we do with them? Wait a minute, she said she was going to sign the papers regardless of what old Adam here said.”

“Get the serial numbers as proof that Adam paid for them. Or proof that she paid for them with Olivia’s Social Security money,” Julie said. “Which one of them is lying?” she asked Darlene. “You want to tell us where the money came from for your implants?”

Darlene struggled to breathe. “All right, all right!” Darlene screamed. “I used her money. Now, are you happy, you bitch?”

“Use the dull knife, Annie,” Julie said in a voice so cold it could have chilled milk.

“If you say so. Makes me no never mind.” She turned and hissed to Myra, “Avery is going to have a doctor on board when he gets here, right? We don’t want her bleeding to death. I’ll just saw along the scar under her breasts. It’s going to hurt, so slap that tape over her mouth.” Darlene went limp as Myra ripped at her off-the-shoulder peasant blouse and bra. The boys, who had momentarily returned from the garage, bolted outside. Adam Fortune’s head rolled from side to side.

“Before you start, let me check with Charles or the boys. Don’t start till we know they’re here, Annie. As much as we hate these two, we absolutely do not want to kill them. That would make it much too easy on them.”