Grace: A Christmas Sisters of the Heart Novel (27 page)

His brother Loyal had simply laughed. “What does it matter if people think you’re weak or strong? All that matters is how you feel. And for the record, I think you have every right to feel betrayed.”

“Jah,”
Graham added. “They went and fell in love right under your nose. Get away from here for a week or so. Clear your head.”

Well, Graham never had been one to mince words.

But though his brothers’ advice made perfect sense … and though his mother had wholeheartedly supported his vacation, Calvin had hemmed and hawed. He’d stayed up long nights and prayed for answers. For the right answers. But the only advice that rang true to him were the words from his brothers.

That there was no shame in being hurt.

So, he’d left Jacob’s Crossing and journeyed west to Indianapolis. He’d visited his Uncle James, who’d become an
Englischer
before Calvin had been born. His uncle hadn’t asked about his reason for being there. Perhaps he’d already heard. But instead of treating him to questions, Uncle James had driven him around his hometown.

Together, they’d visited museums, and the racetrack. They’d walked city blocks and ridden bicycles. Slowly, Calvin began to feel less depressed about his reasons for being there and had begun to take comfort in the blessings he was given. He admired the tall buildings and the intricately designed gardens. He bought a dozen postcards to show his brothers.

Afterward, so he could justify his week of rest, he traveled north and went to a horse auction.

And then boarded this train.

In mere hours, he’d be back to Jacob’s Crossing. Back to where everything was familiar and almost comfortable.

If he tried real hard, Calvin was sure he’d be able to
tell everyone that Gwen and Abraham’s new affection for each other hardly mattered to him at all. Even though he was now the one lying.

He knew he needed to throw out Gwen’s note and move on, in mind as well as deed.

But as if his hands were of their own accord, he neatly folded the paper back again and slipped it into his pocket. There would be another time. Another, better time.

Just like there would be time to move forward, and finally take out Edith. Like his heartbreak, it had been no secret that she was wearing her heart on her sleeve for him. Edith would make a wonderful wife.

And though he doubted he would ever love her, Calvin was beginning to think that love was an overvalued thing anyway. All it really ever did was make a man make a fool of himself.

And who needed that?

He turned back to the
Budget
when a child two rows back whined. The noise startled a babe. Its cries encouraged several children to raise their voices to be heard. And still Lucy pretended to sleep beside him.

If he hadn’t been so well-mannered, Calvin would have snorted. Between the baby crying, the
kinner
yelling, the rain pounding overhead, and the muggy, almost too-warm air surrounding them, sleep was near impossible.

At last Lucy opened her eyes. “Perhaps trying to sleep was a foolish idea.”

Calvin waited a few seconds, flipped the page, and then answered. “Not so foolish, I don’t think. But perhaps one doomed for failure.”

“We must be heading into the storm,” she said. “I just heard thunder.”

“Jah.
Things do seem to be getting a worse, don’t they?”

She scooted to the edge of her seat. “Would you mind if I got a project out of my bag? I might as well crochet.”

He stood up. “I’ll pull your bag down for you.”

“I can do it—”

“Jah,
but it is easier for me. I’m right here.” He’d just reached his arms up to grab hold of the fabric handle when the train rocked again.

“Oh!” Lucy said.

Outside, a flash of lightning illuminated the sky. Inside, the row of florescent lights flickered. The train rocked again.

Almost losing his balance, Calvin reached for the chrome bar and gripped it hard.

“Gebb acht!”
Lucy warned.

“I
am
being careful. Don’t worry,” he murmured. Just as the lights flickered again, then seemed to give up the fight. Shrouding them in darkness.

Beside him, Lucy cried out.

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