Gravity Happens (Forcing Gravity) (33 page)

“I don’t believe you,” she seethed. “Nora said you have feelings for me. Do you?”

I hesitated before I said, “Yes.” Then I watched all the anger fall away from her face as she looked at me in disbelief.

“Seriously?” she asked, and it seemed like she wanted to cry. Why did she want to cry?

I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Fuck,” I muttered.

When I opened my
eyes, I saw that she was in fact crying, and that broke me. I hated to see her cry, and whenever she did, she usually fell into my arms. She always told me I brought her comfort when she was feeling like shit. Now she was just standing awkwardly in front of me, not sure what to do, because I was suddenly the cause of her tears.

“Come here,” I said, shaking my head, as I opened my arms wide. She looked at me hesitantly for a few seconds. “I’m not going to bite, Logan. Just come here.”

Her gaze suddenly shifted to the front hall where I could hear the door open and shut.

“Logan?” Garrett called out
in concern when he appeared in the living room. “What’s wrong?”

Logan looked up at him
, and her face crumpled. He dropped the shopping bags he was carrying on the floor with a thud and pulled her into his arms where she sobbed against his chest, and he stroked her back, making me want to kick his ass. Bastard.

He suddenly looked up at me over her head and tried to ask me with his eyes what had happened. I just shook my head and stormed past him, heading out to my car.
I needed to get away. I knew it was childish of me to do that, but I wasn’t in the mood to sit around and watch my brother comfort the girl who suddenly felt awkward being in the same room as me.

Fuck.

She’d never felt awkward around me before. What the hell was I supposed to do if she cut me out because of how I felt? Logan had been in my life since I was a kid. I didn’t know how to exist without her. Shit, that was the reason why I’d reneged what I’d said after telling her I loved her. She’d shied away from me then, and I couldn’t handle it. Now she knew I’d been lying to her all these months, and she wasn’t happy.

I slammed my car door behind me and squealed out of the driveway, not sure where I was heading. My car was fast, and I felt like gunning it, but I’d gotten three speeding tickets in the
past year, and I couldn’t handle any more points on my license. My dad was about ready to cut me off and make me pay my own car insurance if I got any more tickets. Hell, he about made me sign up for driving school, but I’d talked him out of the idea. Unfortunately, if I got another ticket, I’d have no choice but to go.

I drove around aimlessly for close to an hour before I figured I needed to pick a destination, because I didn’t feel like going home.
For some reason, I chose my parents’ house. I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to go there, but it was where I headed. Maybe I just needed to talk to my mom, let her help me make sense of everything and figure out what to do. She’d known Logan as long as I had. Maybe she could help me figure out how not to lose her.

I had to drive by Logan’s mom’s house, and when I saw
her little sister Skylar sitting on the curb outside the gate, kissing a boy, I slowed down, my protective instincts taking over. Skylar was thirteen, and I didn’t know who this kid was, but he looked shady.

“Hey Sky,” I said, rolling down my window, as she flew out of the guy’s grasp.

“Ethan!” she yelped, her face turning about nine shades of red.

The guy looked confused as he stared at Skylar who was suddenly smiling at me in a goofy sort of way. Then his eyes narrowed, as he turned to size me up, as if he thought of me as competition. Yeah right. Skylar might have had a crush on me for years, but she was
just a kid. Poor insecure guy.

“Hey man. I’m Ethan Lewis. I grew up next door,” I said, sticking out my hand to shake his. He
shook it hesitantly.

“I’m Grayson,” he said, revealing a mouthful of braces.
Okay, maybe he wasn’t so shady.

“Nice to meet you, Grayson,” I told him. “Are you Skylar’s boyfriend?”

“E-than,” Skylar groaned, so I winked at her, and she turned even redder.

Grayson cleared his throat. “Um, uh, I guess.”

“That’s cool, man. How long have you been seeing each other?”

“Just a week
. We’re not really serious,” Skylar said, stepping toward my car, as she suddenly regained her confidence and batted her eyelashes a few times. Grayson glared at her. “What are you doing home, Ethan?”

She tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder as she waited for me to answer.

“I’m going to see my mom,” I told her.

“Why?” she asked, leaning her hip against my car in what I think was mean to be a seductive way. Where the hell had she learned that?

Logan and I were going to have a little talk about this encounter. It was one thing for Sky to be embarrassed around me, but she was downright flirting, not to mention the fact that she’d been making out with a boy. Logan was going to be pissed – that is if I ever got to tell her about what I’d witnessed. Maybe she’d never speak to me again.

God dammit.
I was a fucking idiot.

“Girl trouble,” I suddenly blurted, forgetting who I was talking to.

“Really?”

Skylar’s eyes brightened. That was not a good thing.

I shrugged. “Yup. The girl I like isn’t thrilled that I like her,” I said, not sure why I was seeking therapeutic love advice from a child.

“Well, she’s an idiot then,” Skylar said, shaking her head.

I sighed. “No, she’s not.”

I felt the need to defend Logan, because it was me who was the idiot. I never should have told her
I liked her. Why had I felt compelled to do that? Why had it seemed like a good idea?

“I should go,” I said then, afraid of what else might come out of my mouth.

“Oh,” Skylar said, her head dropping and her shoulders slumping.

I felt bad for her. Then I got a brilliant idea.

“Hey, Sky,” I said then, and she looked up at me
from under her lashes. Where did she learn
that
? I swear, this girl was going to be trouble when she got to sixteen, if she wasn’t already.

“Yeah?” she asked hopefully.

“How about you, me and Logan go to dinner on Friday night?”

Her face brightened. “Really?”

I shrugged. “Totally. We’ll even let you pick the place.”

She smiled widely. “I’d love to,” she said, as if accepting a date.

Please don’t think it’s a date. Please don’t think it’s a date.

Her boyfriend looked pissed.

“Cool,” I said, for both of their benefits. “It’ll be fun for all of us to hang out as friends.” I emphasized the word friends so there wasn’t any confusion. Then I shifted out of neutral. “See you Friday, Sky.”

I drove away before she could
respond, but in my rearview mirror I could see Grayson say something to her before he stalked off. Skylar tried to look indifferent, and she wasn’t doing a great job of it. But at least the kid was gone. I didn’t have to worry about them picking up where they left off.

When I pulled into my parents’ driveway, I picked my phone up off of my seat, not at all surprised that Logan hadn’t called me. I sent her a quick text.

Dinner Friday. Your sister was making out with a boy in front of your mom’s house. We need to have a talk with her.

I sent it knowing it would get Logan’s attention. It was conniving, but I wasn’t sure what else to do. I needed to get her to talk to me. She had to know
that I wasn’t going to act on my feelings for her. I’d been harboring them for close to six months, and I hadn’t acted on them. If she didn’t want me, I wasn’t going to push the issue, but I also wasn’t going to lose her.

It was a brutally painful few minutes before she responded.

What?!

I smiled with relief and started type a response.
Don’t worry. I scared him off. She’s fine.

Thank you. I’m calling her now.

Anytime,
I fired back, hoping to keep the conversation going, but she didn’t respond. I finally sent her another text after a few minutes.
Lo?

I’m here,
she responded.

I’m sorry.

I know.

Are you mad at me?
I held my breath as I waited for her response.

A little – because you lied to me. But I’m more confused than anything.

That’s understandable. Can I call you?

Not today. Can you give me some time?

I felt my stomach constrict as I read her words.

Can we meet before
dinner on Friday and talk?

Sure,
she replied, and I knew if I could just make it through the next two days, we’d be okay.

A
nd a sick and twisted part of me truly hoped that now that she knew how I felt, she might decide she felt the same way. I was hopeless.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Logan

Ethan liked me. What the hell was I supposed to do with that?

We hadn’t spoken in two days which was so unlike us, but I was on my way to meet him to talk before we picked up my sister for dinner. He’d texted me earlier and asked me to meet him at a park near where our parents lived, a place where we used to play when we were kids, so I was headed there.

And I had no clue what I was walking in to. Did he expect me to reciprocate his feelings?
Would he try to kiss me? What did this mean for our friendship?

When I parked, I could see him sitting on
one of the swings, gently moving back and forth, his Converse sneakers dragging in the dirt, and his blond hair covering his face as he looked down at the ground. He looked up when he saw me approaching, and his face instantly brightened, even though I wasn’t sure it was voluntary.

I could see
now so clearly how he felt, and I knew I’d been ignoring the signs for a while. He always lit up when I came into a room, and I’d convinced myself it was just because he was happy to see me. I didn’t want to acknowledge he had feelings for me, because I was honestly afraid to know how deep they ran.

I wordlessly took the seat next to him and started moving back and forth in the swing. It was
just like when we were kids, and the idea of sitting still on a swing seemed strange, so I moved. Ethan’s gaze swung away from me, and he looked out at the horizon.

“Thanks for meeting me,” he said
in a measured tone.

“You
’re welcome.”

Geez, we sounded so formal. That just wasn’t like us.

Ethan let out a big sigh then, almost breaking the tension. “Listen, I know this is weird for you, and I’m sorry. I wish I didn’t feel this way, Lo, but I do. I can’t help it, but I just want you to know that I’m not going to do anything about it.”

I looked over at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was back to
looking down and kicking the dirt with his shoes.

“Did you break up with Nora because you wanted to be with me and you thought that if I was no longer with Jase then you’d have a chance?”

I held my breath as I waited for him to answer, afraid of what he’d say.

“No,” he said, but he still wouldn’t look at me. “I don’t know. Shit, Logan. I don’t think so. I just made a decision, and I did it. I wasn’t thinking. I was so pissed off, and you were hurting so much that I knew you needed me. I knew I couldn’t be there for you if I was with Nora, so I just ended things. It was easier that way.”

I watched different emotions flash across this face as he spoke of her, and I thought I saw regret, but I wasn’t sure. Did he miss her? He’d never had a girlfriend before, so maybe he’d made a snap decision when he didn’t need to, and now maybe he regretted it.

“E, you could have been there for me and stayed with her. I know you liked her.”

He sighed and looked up. “I did like her. I do, but it’s complicated. She obviously knows how I feel about you, and unless I could find a way for my feelings to go away, then they would always be there between us.” He shrugged as if he wasn’t sure what else to do.

“Do you want to be with me, Ethan?” I asked him, and slowly, his gaze met mine.

“Do you want the truth?”

I nodded, already knowing what he was going to say.

He kept his gaze locked on mine. “Yeah, I do, but I know it’s not what you want or it’s too soon or you don’t feel the same way, so I’ll do whatever you want. If you want to be friends, then we’ll be friends. If you want more, we’ll do it. The ball’s in your court.”

My chest started to ache, and I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because Ethan seemed so vulnerable in that moment.

I reached over and took his hand, squeezing it in mine, and he offered me a weak smile. Then I let out a shaky breath. “Ethan, I don’t know how I’ll feel six months from now, but today, I can’t do anything more than be your friend. I love you, you know that, but I’m not over Jase. And until I can get past him, I can’t even think of being with anyone else. I’m sorry.”