Authors: E L James
I give her a brief nod.
Yeah, I want to spend more time with youâ¦
Steady, Grey.
“Kate will be delightedâif we can find a photographer.” She smiles and her face lights up like a cloudless dawn. She's breathtaking.
“Let me know about tomorrow.” I pull my wallet from my jeans. “My card. It has my cell number on it. You'll need to call before ten in the morning.” And if she doesn't, I'll head on back to Seattle and forget about this stupid venture.
The thought depresses me.
“Okay.” She continues to grin.
“Ana!” We both turn as a young man dressed in casual designer gear appears at the far end of the aisle. His eyes are all over Miss Anastasia Steele.
Who the hell is this prick?
“Er, excuse me for a moment, Mr. Grey.” She walks toward him, and the asshole engulfs her in a gorilla-like hug. My blood runs cold. It's a primal response.
Get your fucking paws off her.
I fist my hands and am only slightly mollified when she doesn't return his hug.
They fall into a whispered conversation. Maybe Welch's facts were wrong. Maybe this guy is her boyfriend. He looks the right age, and he can't take his greedy little eyes off her. He holds her for a moment at arm's length, examining her, then stands with his arm resting on her shoulder. It seems like a casual gesture, but I know he's staking a claim and telling me to back off. She seems embarrassed, shifting from foot to foot.
Shit.
I should go. I've overplayed my hand. She's with this guy. Then she says something else to him and moves out of his reach, touching his arm, not his hand, shrugging him off. It's clear they aren't close.
Good.
“Erâ¦Paul, this is Christian Grey. Mr. Grey, this is Paul Clayton. His brother owns the place.” She gives me an odd look that I don't understand and continues, “I've known Paul ever since I've worked here, though we don't see each other that often. He's back from Princeton, where he's studying business administration.” She's babbling, giving me a long explanation and telling me they're not together, I think. The boss's brother, not a boyfriend. I'm relieved, but the extent of the relief I feel is unexpected, and it makes me frown.
This woman has really gotten under my skin.
“Mr. Clayton.” My tone is deliberately clipped.
“Mr. Grey.” His handshake is limp, like his hair.
Asshole.
“Wait upânot
the
Christian Grey? Of Grey Enterprises Holdings?”
Yeah, that's me, you prick.
In a heartbeat I watch him morph from territorial to obsequious.
“Wowâis there anything I can get you?”
“Anastasia has it covered, Mr. Clayton. She's been very attentive.”
Now fuck off.
“Cool,” he gushes, all white teeth and deferential. “Catch you later, Ana.”
“Sure, Paul,” she says, and he ambles off to the back of the store. I watch him disappear.
“Anything else, Mr. Grey?”
“Just these items,” I mutter.
Shit,
I'm out of time, and I still don't know if I'm going to see her again. I have to know whether there's a hope in hell she might consider what I have in mind. How can I ask her? Am I ready to take on a submissive who knows nothing? She's going to need substantial training. Closing my eyes, I imagine the interesting possibilities this presentsâ¦getting there is going to be half the fun. Will she even be up for this? Or do I have it all wrong?
She walks back to the cashier's counter and rings up my purchases, all the while keeping her eyes on the register.
Look
at me,
damn it!
I want to see her face again and gauge what she's thinking.
Finally she raises her head. “That will be forty-three dollars, please.”
Is that all?
“Would you like a bag?” she asks, as I pass her my AmEx.
“Please, Anastasia.” Her nameâa beautiful name for a beautiful girlâflows smoothly over my tongue.
She packs the items briskly. This is it. I have to go.
“You'll call me if you want me to do the photo shoot?”
She nods as she hands back my charge card.
“Good. Until tomorrow, perhaps.” I can't just leave. I have to let her know I'm interested.
“Ohâand Anastasia, I'm glad Miss Kavanagh couldn't do the interview.” She looks surprised and flattered.
This is good.
I sling the bag over my shoulder and exit the store.
Yes, against my better judgment, I want her. Now I have to waitâ¦fucking waitâ¦again. Utilizing willpower that would make Elena proud, I keep my eyes ahead as I take my cell out of my pocket and climb into the rental car. I'm deliberately not looking back at her. I'm not. I'm not. My eyes flick to the rearview mirror, where I can see the shop door, but all I see is the quaint storefront. She's not in the window, staring out at me.
It's disappointing.
I press 1 on speed dial and Taylor answers before the phone has a chance to ring.
“Mr. Grey,” he says.
“Make reservations at The Heathman; I'm staying in Portland this weekend, and can you bring down the SUV, my computer, and the paperwork beneath it, and a change or two of clothes.”
“Yes, sir. And
Charlie Tango
?”
“Have Joe move her to PDX.”
“Will do, sir. I'll be with you in about three and a half hours.”
I hang up and start the car. So I have a few hours in Portland while I wait to see if this girl is interested in me. What to do? Time for a hike, I think. Maybe I can walk this strange hunger out of my system.
IT'S BEEN FIVE HOURS
with no phone call from the delectable Miss Steele. What the hell was I thinking? I watch the street from the window of my suite at The Heathman. I loathe waiting. I always have. The weather, now cloudy, held for my hike through Forest Park, but the walk has done nothing to cure my agitation. I'm annoyed at her for not phoning, but mostly I'm angry with myself. I'm a fool for being here. What a waste of time it's been chasing this woman. When have I ever chased a woman?
Grey, get a grip.
Sighing, I check my phone once again in the hope that I've just missed her call, but there's nothing. At least Taylor has arrived and I have all my shit. I have Barney's report on his department's graphene tests to read and I can work in peace.
Peace?
I haven't known peace since Miss Steele fell into my office.
WHEN I GLANCE UP,
dusk has shrouded my suite in gray shadows. The prospect of a night alone again is depressing. While I contemplate what to do my phone vibrates against the polished wood of the desk and an unknown but vaguely familiar number with a Washington area code flashes on the screen. Suddenly my heart is pumping as if I've run ten miles.
Is it her?
I answer.
“Erâ¦Mr. Grey? It's Anastasia Steele.”
My face erupts in a shit-eating grin.
Well, well.
A breathy, nervous, soft-spoken Miss Steele. My evening is looking up.
“Miss Steele. How nice to hear from you.” I hear her breath hitch and the sound travels directly to my groin.
Great. I'm affecting her. Like she's affecting me.
“Umâwe'd like to go ahead with the photo shoot for the article. Tomorrow, if that's okay. Where would be convenient for you, sir?”
In my room. Just you, me, and the cable ties.
“I'm staying at The Heathman in Portland. Shall we say nine thirty tomorrow morning?”
“Okay, we'll see you there,” she gushes, unable to hide the relief and delight in her voice.
“I look forward to it, Miss Steele.” I hang up before she senses my excitement and how pleased I am. Leaning back in my chair, I gaze at the darkening skyline and run both my hands through my hair.
How the hell am I going to close this deal?
SUNDAY, MAY 15, 2011
W
ith Moby blasting in my ears I run down Southwest Salmon Street toward the Willamette River. It's 6:30 in the morning and I'm trying to clear my head. Last night I dreamed of her. Blue eyes, breathy voiceâ¦her sentences ending with “sir” as she knelt before me. Since I've met her, my dreams have been a welcome change from the occasional nightmare. I wonder what Flynn would make of that. The thought is disconcerting, so I ignore it and concentrate on pushing my body to its limits along the bank of the Willamette. As my feet pound the walkway, sunshine breaks through the clouds and it gives me hope.
TWO HOURS LATER AS
I jog back to the hotel I pass a coffee shop. Maybe I should take her for coffee.
Like a date?
Well. No. Not a date. I laugh at the ridiculous thought. Just a chatâan interview of sorts. Then I can find out a little more about this enigmatic woman and if she's interested, or if I'm on a wild-goose chase. I'm alone in the elevator as I stretch out. Finishing my stretches in my hotel suite, I'm centered and calm for the first time since I arrived in Portland. Breakfast has been delivered and I'm famished. It's not a feeling I tolerateâever. Sitting down to breakfast in my sweats, I decide to eat before I shower.
THERE'S A BRISK KNOCK
on the door. I open it and Taylor stands on the threshold.
“Good morning, Mr. Grey.”
“Morning. They ready for me?”
“Yes, sir. They're set up in room 601.”
“I'll be right down.” I close the door and tuck my shirt into my gray pants. My hair is wet from my shower, but I don't give a shit. One glance at the louche fucker in the mirror and I exit to follow Taylor to the elevator.
Room 601 is crowded with people, lights, and camera boxes, but I spot her immediately. She's standing to the side. Her hair is loose: a lush, glossy mane that falls beneath her breasts. She's wearing tight jeans and chucks with a short-sleeved navy jacket and a white T-shirt beneath. Are jeans and chucks her signature look? While not very convenient, they do flatter her shapely legs. Her eyes, disarming as ever, widen as I approach.
“Miss Steele, we meet again.” She takes my extended hand and for a moment I want to squeeze hers and raise it to my lips.
Don't be absurd, Grey.
She turns her delicious pink and waves in the direction of her friend, who is standing too close, waiting for my attention.
“Mr. Grey, this is Katherine Kavanagh,” she says. With reluctance I release her and turn to the persistent Miss Kavanagh. She's tall, striking, and well groomed, like her father, but she has her mother's eyes, and I have her to thank for my introduction to the delightful Miss Steele. That thought makes me feel a little more benevolent toward her.
“The tenacious Miss Kavanagh. How do you do? I trust you're feeling better? Anastasia said you were unwell last week.”
“I'm fine, thank you, Mr. Grey.”
She has a firm, confident handshake, and I doubt she's ever faced a day of hardship in her privileged life. I wonder why these women are friends. They have nothing in common.
“Thank you for taking the time to do this,” Katherine says.
“It's a pleasure,” I reply, and glance at Anastasia, who rewards me with her telltale flush.
Is it just me who makes her blush? The thought pleases me.
“This is José Rodriguez, our photographer,” Anastasia says, and her face lights up as she introduces him.
Shit. Is this the boyfriend?
Rodriguez blooms under Ana's sweet smile.
Are they fucking?
“Mr. Grey.” Rodriguez gives me a dark look as we shake hands. It's a warning. He's telling me to back off. He likes her. He likes her a lot.
Well, game on, kid.
“Mr. Rodriguez, where would you like me?” My tone is a challenge, and he hears it, but Katherine intervenes and waves me toward a chair. Ah. She likes to be in charge. The thought amuses me as I sit. Another young man who appears to be working with Rodriguez switches on the lights, and momentarily I'm blinded.
Hell!
As the glare recedes I search out the lovely Miss Steele. She's standing at the back of the room, observing the proceedings. Does she always shy away like this? Maybe that's why she and Kavanagh are friends; she's content to be in the background and let Katherine take center stage.
Hmmâ¦a natural submissive.
The photographer appears professional enough and absorbed in the job he's been assigned to do. I regard Miss Steele as she watches both of us. Our eyes meet; hers are honest and innocent, and for a moment I reconsider my plan. But then she bites her lip and my breath catches in my throat.
Back down, Anastasia.
I will her to stop staring, and as if she can hear me, she's the first to look away.
Good girl.
Katherine asks me to stand as Rodriguez continues to take snaps. Then we're done and this is my chance.
“Thank you again, Mr. Grey.” Katherine surges forward and shakes my hand, followed by the photographer, who regards me with ill-concealed disapproval. His antagonism makes me smile.
Oh, manâ¦you have no idea.
“I look forward to reading the article, Miss Kavanagh,” I say, giving her a brief polite nod. It's Ana I want to talk to. “Will you walk with me, Miss Steele?” I ask, when I reach her by the door.
“Sure,” she says with surprise.
Seize the day, Grey.
I mutter some platitude to those still in the room and usher her out the door, wanting to put some distance between her and Rodriguez. In the corridor she stands fiddling with her hair, then her fingers, as Taylor follows me out.
“I'll call you, Taylor,” I say, and when he's almost out of earshot I ask Ana to join me for coffee, my breath held for her response.
Her long lashes flicker over her eyes. “I have to drive everyone home,” she says with dismay.
“Taylor,” I call after him, making her jump. I must make her nervous and I don't know if this is good or bad. And she can't stop fidgeting. Thinking about all the ways I could make her stop is distracting.
“Are they based at the university?” She nods and I ask Taylor to take her friends home.
“There. Now can you join me for coffee?”
“UmâMr. Grey, erâthis really⦔ She stops.
Shit. It's a “no.” I'm going to lose this deal.
She looks directly at me, eyes bright. “Look, Taylor doesn't have to drive them home. I'll swap vehicles with Kate, if you give me a moment.”
My relief is tangible and I grin.
I have a date!
Opening the door, I let her back into the room as Taylor conceals his puzzled look.
“Can you grab my jacket, Taylor?”
“Certainly, sir.”
He turns on his heel, his lips twitching as he heads up the corridor. I watch him with narrowed eyes as he disappears into the elevator while I lean against the wall and wait for Miss Steele.
What the hell am I going to say to her?
“How would you like to be my submissive?”
No. Steady, Grey. Let's take this one stage at a time.
Taylor is back within a couple of minutes, holding my jacket.
“Will that be all, sir?”
“Yes. Thanks.”
He gives it to me and leaves me standing like an idiot in the corridor.
How long is Anastasia going to be? I check my watch. She must be negotiating the car swap with Katherine. Or she's talking to Rodriguez, explaining that she's just going for coffee to placate me and keep me sweet for the article. My thoughts darken. Maybe she's kissing him good-bye.
Damn.
She emerges a moment later, and I'm pleased. She doesn't look like she's just been kissed.
“Okay,” she says with resolve. “Let's do coffee.” But her reddening cheeks somewhat undermine her effort to look confident.
“After you, Miss Steele.” I conceal my delight as she falls into step ahead of me. As I catch up with her my curiosity is piqued about her relationship with Katherine, specifically their compatibility. I ask her how long they've known each other.
“Since our freshman year. She's a good friend.” Her voice is full of warmth. Ana is clearly devoted. She came all the way to Seattle to interview me when Katherine was ill, and I find myself hoping that Miss Kavanagh treats her with the same loyalty and respect.
At the elevators I press the call button and almost immediately the doors open. A couple in a passionate embrace spring apart, embarrassed to be caught. Ignoring them, we step into the elevator, but I catch Anastasia's impish smile.
As we travel to the first floor the atmosphere is thick with unfulfilled desire. And I don't know if it's emanating from the couple behind us or from me.
Yes. I want her. Will she want what I have to offer?
I'm relieved when the doors open again and I take her hand, which is cool and not clammy as expected. Perhaps I don't affect her as much as I'd like. The thought is disheartening.
In our wake we hear embarrassed giggling from the couple.
“What is it about elevators?” I mutter. And I have to admit there's something wholesome and naïve about their giggling that's totally charming. Miss Steele seems that innocent, just like them, and as we walk onto the street I question my motives again.
She's too young. She's too inexperienced, but, damn, I like the feel of her hand in mine.
In the coffee shop I direct her to find a table and ask what she wants to drink. She stutters through her order: English Breakfast teaâhot water, bag on the side. That's a new one to me.
“No coffee?”
“I'm not keen on coffee.”
“Okay, bag-out tea. Sugar?”
“No thanks,” she says, staring down at her fingers.
“Anything to eat?”
“No thank you.” She shakes her head and tosses her hair over her shoulder, highlighting glints of auburn.
I have to wait in line while the two matronly women behind the counter exchange inane pleasantries with
all
their customers. It's frustrating and keeping me from my objective: Anastasia.
“Hey, handsome, what can I get you?” the older woman asks with a twinkle in her eye.
It's just a pretty face, sweetheart.
“I'll have a coffee with steamed milk. English Breakfast tea. Teabag on the side. And a blueberry muffin.”
Anastasia might change her mind and eat.
“You visiting Portland?”
“Yes.”
“The weekend?”
“Yes.”
“The weather sure has picked up today.”
“Yes.”
“I hope you get out to enjoy some sunshine.”
Please stop talking to me and hurry the fuck up.
“Yes,” I hiss through my teeth and glance over at Ana, who quickly looks away.
She's watching me. Is she checking me out?
A bubble of hope swells in my chest.
“There you go.” The woman winks and places the drinks on my tray. “Pay at the register, honey, and you have a nice day, now.”
I manage a cordial response. “Thank you.”
At the table Anastasia is staring at her fingers, reflecting on heaven knows what.
Me?
“Penny for your thoughts?” I ask.
She jumps and turns red as I set out her tea and my coffee. She sits mute and mortified. Why? Does she really not want to be here?
“Your thoughts?” I ask again, and she fidgets with the teabag.
“This is my favorite tea,” she says, and I revise my mental note that it's Twinings English Breakfast tea she likes. I watch her dunk the teabag in the teapot. It's an elaborate and messy spectacle. She fishes it out almost immediately and places the used teabag on her saucer. My mouth is twitching with my amusement. As she tells me she likes her tea weak and black, for a moment I think she's describing what she likes in a man.
Get a grip, Grey.
She's talking about tea.
Enough of this preamble; it's time for some due diligence in this deal. “Is he your boyfriend?”
Her brows knit together, forming a small
v
above her nose.
“Who?”
This is a good response.
“The photographer. José Rodriguez.”
She laughs. At me.
At me!
And I don't know if it's from relief or if she thinks I'm funny. It's annoying. I can't get her measure. Does she like me or not? She tells me he's just a friend.
Oh, sweetheart, he wants to be more than a friend.
“Why did you think he was my boyfriend?” she asks.
“The way you smiled at him, and he at you.”
You have no idea, do you?
The boy is smitten.
“He's more like family,” she says.
Okay, so the lust is one-sided, and for a moment I wonder if she realizes how lovely she is. She eyes the blueberry muffin as I peel back the paper, and for a moment I imagine her on her knees beside me as I feed her, a morsel at a time. The thought is divertingâand arousing. “Do you want some?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No thanks.” Her voice is hesitant and
she stares once more at her hands. Why is she so jittery? Maybe because of me?
“And the boy I met yesterday, at the store. He's not your boyfriend?”
“No. Paul's just a friend. I told you yesterday.” She frowns again as if she's confused, and crosses her arms in defense. She doesn't like being asked about these boys. I remember how uncomfortable she seemed when the kid at the store put his arm around her, staking his claim. “Why do you ask?” she adds.
“You seem nervous around men.”
Her eyes widen. They really are beautiful, the color of the ocean at Cabo, the bluest of blue seas. I should take her there.