Grey Eyes (22 page)

35
nistomitanaw niyānosāp

“T
ansi
? Sundancers! You have done it!” cheered the Crane clan warrior. “Come and celebrate your final day!”

The exhausted sundancers, including Little Grey Bear Boy, emerged from their tents slowly but enthusiastically. They had been reborn of spirit in the night and felt as though they had awoken to a fresh new world. They could sense the spirit within everything around them and felt a connection to all of creation. Every rock, tree, and insect felt like an old friend being met after a long separation. The senior warrior who had flown with the eagles was no longer among them, but the remaining sundancers were not discouraged by this. Once again the sundancers clamoured around Little Grey Bear Boy and flocked to Painted Turtle Man's sweat lodge until he was forced to turn most away for want of space.

From his nearly empty sweat lodge, the strict sundance chief scowled, barking at his helpers to close the door. When the sundancers had completed two mild rounds in the sweat lodge they donned their ceremonial garb one last time. As they lined up, they were given a medicine tea that Painted Turtle Man had prepared to help ease the breaking of their fast at the end of the day. After three full days with no food or water, this bitter medicine seemed to be the best thing they had ever tasted.

The drummers began the shake beat and the sundancers lined up.

“We did it!” shouted one of the sundancers and all the rest whooped and cheered. They were led back up the hill to the Tree of Life.

When the drum started, Painted Turtle Man walked over to Little Grey Bear Boy and said, “You and three of your age mates will go to the tree, but not until after the contraire dance.” He spoke loudly, so as to be heard over the drummers.

Little Grey Bear Boy nodded at his
moosum
, the whites of his eyes the whiter against the dark circles under them.

They danced through the first round and Grandfather Sun was gentle on them by hiding behind the occasional cloud. During the break, Little Grey Bear Boy felt dizzy and tried hard not to faint. He had come so far in the ceremony—he wanted to see it through.

When the drum sounded on the second round, the singers began the
windigo-con
song. Unknown to Little Grey Bear Boy in his weary state, some of his fellow sundancers had snuck off down the hill to don the ceremonial garb of the contraires. From all directions, they emerged from the forest, yelling and waving branches, descending on the sundance circle in disorder and folly. The contraire dancers harassed the singers at the drum, painted the other sundancers with mud, and even mimicked the strict sundance chief, who seemed less amused than most. Little Grey Bear Boy could not help but laugh at their antics. His laughter refreshed him in his mind and spirit, though his body was still weary. As the round ended, the sacred clowns disappeared back into the forest to the sound of cheers and whoops from all.

Little Grey Bear Boy's heart began to beat faster. It would soon be time for him to fulfill his oath to
Kitchi Manitou
by going to the tree. It reassured him to know he would not be going alone and he could tell by the expressions on the faces of three of his age mates which of them were going too. In addition to the sundancers, hundreds of
Nehiyawak
had gathered to bear witness to what was about to occur. Spectators were allowed to observe from outside the sundance arbour, though they were required to stand while the singers were drumming.

The drum sounded four times and felt like a knock of dread inside Little Grey Bear Boy's chest. Father Sky had begun to cloud over, threatening rain. Little Grey Bear Boy could feel the familiar vibrations of the magic in the air and he tried to clear his mind of doubt. He sincerely hoped it was not his anxiety that was causing the sky to cloud; this was after all a ‘sun' dance ceremony.

Little Grey Bear Boy and his age mates were not dancing for very long before the helpers came to get them one by one. For a fleeting moment, when the three others had been taken ahead of him, a thought crept into Little Grey Bear Boy's head: perhaps he would be forgotten. His heart dropped when one of the helpers came back, walking towards him. The helper reached his hand out towards Little Grey Bear Boy and grasped his white sage wrist band, which had raised itself without his knowing. With a gentle tug, the helper led Little Grey Bear Boy to the great buffalo hide next to the Tree of Life.

The first of the four young boys was about to be pierced, as he had pledged himself to do. As the thin, sharp bone tool pierced the boy's chest, the boy stiffened, then scowled. The chief inserted the wooden peg, tied it off with sinew, and looped the rawhide thong over it. The boy was brought up to his feet and the harness was attached to the rawhide thongs. The boy seemed in good spirits.

The second boy was different. He shook from head to toe. The sundance chief who was piercing put down the piercing tool and rubbed white sage on the boy's chest, chanting an ancient medicine prayer. This calmed the boy down. He winced for a moment when the chief pierced him but remained calm while the chief pegged and harnessed him and led him to the tree.

Painted Turtle Man pierced the flesh of the third boy. Little Grey Bear Boy felt it should have been his adopted grandfather who pierced him, but then changed his mind. It would be strange to have the old man cause him pain. Little Grey Bear Boy shook these thoughts from his head and tried to remain focused on his pledge.

Now it was Little Grey Bear Boy's turn. The strict sundance chief would do the piercing—perhaps not Little Grey Bear Boy's first choice, but such things did not matter. The sundance chief rubbed white sage on Little Grey Bear Boy's chest as he prepared for the piercing. Little Grey Bear Boy felt some anxiety but was determined to face his pledge with courage. He reminded himself of the night his cousin Flying Rabbit Boy had been hurt and the miracle that had saved him. He wanted to repay
Kitchi Manitou
for his many blessings and this was the best way he knew how.

Little Grey Bear Boy looked up into the sky, which had begun to grow quite dark indeed. He tried to think of happier thoughts so as not to ruin the ceremony. He felt the strict sundance chief's hard and calloused hands upon him and a hard pinch as the hand gathered skin between the finger and thumb. There was a hard pull which lifted him slightly off his back, then a stab that was stronger and more painful than he had anticipated. The pain intensified when the chief shoved into his flesh the hard wooden peg. Little Grey Bear Boy gasped and his eyes burst open as the sundance chief pinched the other side of his chest to repeat the process.

“Oh settle down, young warrior,” growled the man.

Little Grey Bear Boy took a deep breath as he was again stabbed hard in the chest and another wooded peg rammed in.

“
Ekosi
. That was not so bad, was it?”

“I am fine,” lied Little Grey Bear Boy. “I can do this.”

Little Grey Bear Boy was helped to his feet. His legs shook. The sundance chief attached the harness to the rawhide thongs with as much care and grace as a grizzly bear might have used. The sound of a Thunderbird flapping its wings echoed in the distance. Little Grey Bear Boy's harness was attached to the rope and he lined up beside the third boy, who dropped his eagle bone whistle from his mouth when he saw Little Grey Bear Boy's chest. He fumbled with his whistle, getting it back into his mouth, before gluing his eyes to the Tree of Life as he had been taught.

One by one each of the boys was taken back and forth to the tree four times. Little Grey Bear Boy felt every vibration of the ropes and it seemed like his entire chest was on fire. He knew he must endure. He knew he was suffering himself for the good of the
Nehiyawak
. He never thought it would be this hard or that the pain would be quite so intense. The first two boys broke free of the ropes in their turn amid the cheers of the sundancers and the assembled crowd. The third boy again looked at Little Grey Bear Boy's chest with wide eyes before being taken back and forth to the tree.

Painted Turtle Man was there to make sure the third boy did not trip over his rope or lose his balance when going backwards. On the fourth time going to the Tree of Life, Painted Turtle Man shouted for him to go fast. He was smiling as the boy ran back and broke free. It was then he turned to Little Grey Bear Boy. His smile faded and for a moment Little Grey Bear Boy thought he had done something wrong.

“What have you done?” shouted Painted Turtle Man, turning to the strict sundance chief.

“What?” asked the sundance chief.

“You have used the wrong pegs. Those are for flying with the eagles!”

Little Grey Bear Boy looked down at the pegs. Blood streamed freely down his chest and torso.

“Oh no,” said the strict sundance chief casually. “I must have grabbed the wrong ones…My eyes are not what they used to be.”

The strict sundance chief chuckled and shrugged his shoulders at Painted Turtle Man. The old man was not amused. The singers were no longer singing and some were craning their necks to try and see what was going on.

“Should we just pull them out?” suggested the strict sundance chief.

“And have all the
Nehiyawak
think he was too weak to fulfill his oath?
Awas
! You have done enough.”

The chief grumbled something and walked away, leaving Painted Turtle Man to tend to his adopted grandson.

“I am sorry this happened, my boy. This is not how it is supposed to be. I must pull out the pegs. Even a grown man could not break free of these. You saw the warrior who flew with the eagles. He did not even break free while hanging with all his weight.”

“Everything happens for a reason,
Moosum
,” said Little Grey Bear Boy. “I must at least try to fulfill my oath.”

“I do not understand why this has happened at our holiest ceremony. But I know in my heart that it was not the will of
Kitchi Manitou
. I will pull out the pegs and we will tell all the
Nehiyawak
about what that fool has done.”

“
Motch, Moosum
.” Little Grey Bear Boy was close to tears now. “I will not bring dishonour to our clan.”

“There is no dishonour, my boy. I cannot bear to see you suffering.”

“I suffer for good of the
Nehiyawak
.”

The old man prayed. “Oh, Great Spirit, hear my plea. Forgive me for what I am about to do.”

Painted Turtle Man raised his eagle wing fan and led Little Grey Bear Boy to the Tree of Life. Every step felt like knives twisting from the inside of the boy's chest. He hugged the Tree of Life and concentrated hard on his pledge.

“You must run back quickly and pull hard at the end of the rope,” Painted Turtle Man told him. “You will need to try to break free all four times in order to loosen the flesh up enough to break.”

Little Grey Bear Boy heeded the old man's advice and ran back quickly and got to the end of the rope. The roped jerked him forward and he nearly lost his balance. Painted Turtle Man caught him and tried to act as though nothing had happened. The old man's eyes were glassy. He looked over at the strict sundance chief, who appeared to be smirking. Painted Turtle Man led his adopted grandson back to the Tree of Life for another try.

“That was a good attempt, my boy,” he whispered. “But you will have to try much harder than that.”

Little Grey Bear Boy gritted his teeth and launched himself backwards, running as fast as he could and jumping as he had seen the other boys do on their fourth attempt. The
Nehiyawak
were cheering. They must have thought he was confused. Again, when he had reached the end, he was stopped abruptly by the snap of the rope. It felt as though he had hit a rock wall.

“Ohhhhh!” yelled the
Nehiyawak
. Little Grey Bear Boy could feel the hot blood running down his stomach. It soaked into his apron.

“That was very good,” said Painted Turtle Man. “This time pull hard when you get to the end of the rope and let the skin stretch. It is going to hurt, but do it for as long as you can stand it. If you start to see dark spots, stop pulling.”