Grid Iron Bad Boy: A Football Romance (41 page)

“Yeah, thanks.” My fingers grasp the cool, hard edge of the yearbook. I’ll use it to ground me. To keep my mind in the present. Nothing like a musty book of memories to keep you focussed on the now.

Chris looks at me closely, “I need to talk to Dad. You know? About all this. With you.” He finally explains himself.

“I know,” I nod in agreement. I understand completely.

He nods back at me, hopefully he can see that I’m here to support him. That I’m ready to listen to whatever he needs to say. Chris turns back and leads me to Joel’s burial site. It’s easier to navigate in the day. We stop at the foot of Joel’s grave and I grab onto the book in my hand until it hurts. I will stay in the present. I will hear what my son has to say. I will not let my mind slide back.

“Hey, Dad,” Chris’s voice wavers with emotion. I gently lay my hand on his shoulder, and surprisingly, he doesn’t shrug it off. Instead, he takes a deep, steadying breath and stands taller. “I’m here with Mack again. I guess you already know him though, better than I do probably.”

I wince as the words slap my face. Joel and I were never close, not that it matters. What matters is that my son feels like a man I haven’t seen in over a decade could know me more than he does.

“Mom just told me about everything. Her and Mack are going to get married now, and I’m ok with that, you know. I remember how when I was four or five and you told me that you adopted me. You made me feel so special,” his voice cracks and he leans his head down to his heaving chest. Fat tear drops drip from the end of Chris’s nose to the grass below.

“I remember you told me that you were so lucky,” he continues, “to have found a better son than you ever imagined you would have. I remember how I felt taller than all the other boys at the playground that day, because I had a Dad that chose me, you know? And you couldn’t ask for more than that.”

My throat feels like I swallowed a rock, my emotions are barely under the surface. I clutch the yearbook in my one hand and give Chris’s shoulder a squeeze with the other. My fears about returning to the war, or having a flashback of anyone else’s grave start to disappear. I am present. I am here. I don’t need a reminder. My mind is focussed on one thing: Chris.

“So, I just found out that Mack is my biological Dad and all that. It’s weird, you know? I saw him on tv when he came back, and I never knew. It doesn’t feel totally real yet. But, I wanted to tell him, in front of you that I’m lucky. Mack made me, but you raised me. And I couldn’t be luckier than to have two fathers better than I ever could’ve imagined who both love me and want to be in my life.”

Chris takes a shaky breath in deep and looks over at me with his red-rimmed eyes. “Dad chose me to be his son,” his voice wavers, “and now I’m gonna choose for you to be my new Dad.”

I drop my arm from his shoulder and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “Thank you.”

“It doesn’t mean he won’t be my Dad anymore,” Chris nods toward Joel’s headstone.

“Of course not. I would never try to take his place.”

Chris throws his arms around me and squeezes me tight. Tears line my bottom lids and the world around me blurs. “Thanks…Dad.”

“
H
ey
, man. Are you feeling ok? You’re looking a little pale. You’re not getting cold feet are you?” Cameron quickly darts his eyes down to my prosthetic and looks back up at me sheepishly, “sorry, it’s just an expression.”

“No my foot isn’t cold,” I laugh and shrug it off. I don’t know why after all this time he’s still worried that I’m gonna get all sensitive about my leg. It’s been two and a half years now; I barely even think about stuff like that anymore.

I look out from the open door of the cabana the hotel has reserved for the men. I shield my eyes with my hand as they adjust to the startling contrast of the turquoise water slowly licking at the stark white sand. Reminds me of my plans for Lauren tonight.

“I think I’ve just had too many drinks with umbrellas in them. Or maybe I’m a bit nervous,” I admit. Tying the knot isn’t making me nervous. I’m not afraid to commit to Lauren. Hell, I’ve known I’d make her my wife since we were six-years-old. I just want this day to be everything she’s been dreaming of. She deserves the fairy tale. I ain’t no prince, but I’m gonna do everything I can to make her happy.

Cameron nods and follows my gaze across the beach. “I’ll tell ya, you guys are doing this right, if you ask me. Just a small wedding, nice beach, nice hotel. That’s the way to go. If I ever get hitched, I’m gonna try to get eloped in Vegas or something. Those huge weddings are just a waste.”

When I first asked Lauren if we could have a low-key wedding, I didn’t think she’d really go for it. After all the interviews and watching my face on the news non-stop, the last thing I wanted was another big event. She not only agreed though, she seemed relieved. It all sounded perfect. Then she brought up the destination wedding thing. In the Bahamas. On a beach. In the
sand
.

Fucking sand.

I didn’t love the idea of being surrounded by gritty, dusty dirt again. However, there’s no way I was going to crush her dream wedding. Love makes you do all kinds of things. I decided to suck it up and keep my complaints to myself. Seeing how happy it’s made her has been worth it.

“Yeah, I’m happy we went this way. We wanted something a little more private. Just close friends and family, you know. You’re just lucky you made the short list,” I clap my hand against his shoulder with a smile.

“Ha! It wouldn’t be a party without me,” he smirks back.

“Or me!” Chris pipes in, finally tearing himself away from his reflection to join in. He’s ten-years-old going on eighteen with all his primping lately. I’m pretty sure our entire wedding album is just going to be selfies of Chris from how many poses he’s been doing for the camera. I’m not sure who he’s trying to impress, but if the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree, there’s probably more than one he’s got his eye on.

“You’re right, it wouldn’t be a wedding without my best man,” I smile at my son and he puffs his chest out proudly.

“Ok, I should get moving,” Cameron interrupts. “The maid of honor needs a handsome man to escort her down the aisle.”

“Do you know one?” I chuck shit at him. He gives me a quick look but keeps heading out the door. It’s probably time for Chris and I to take our places too.

As if on cue, one of the hotel staff pops his head in the door “the guests are seated, if you want to take your places?”

“Sure,” I answer. “You ready?” I turn to Chris. He looks like he was born ready for this moment. Him and Cameron look great in their white dress shirts and beige pants. I’ve got the same thing going on, but I also have a linen jacket to step it up a notch. Lauren and I decided to keep things casual and light for our beach wedding. I have a feeling she’s gonna look anything but casual when she walks down that aisle.

Chris and I walk ten feet over to the alter and stand tall under the lowering sun. Early hints of pink and mauve are starting to creep across the sky to celebrate another day worth living. Like nature’s lazy fireworks.

Our minister, a leathery, sun-soaked man named Greg smiles at Chris and I. “Are we ready?”

“We’re good,” I nod.

“Perfect.”

He waves his hand at the hotel staff in behind the few chairs filled up with family and friends. All together, there’s about ten guests. My parents are sitting next to each other. Mom already has her handkerchief out, ready for the tears. Dad keeps rubbing small circles on her back, soothing her. They’re tears of joy, I know. However, I’m sure there’s another small part of her that’s thinking about how she never got this opportunity with Ben. How it was stolen from them.

Cameron’s plus one is seated next to them. Lauren was pretty disappointed when he said he was bringing someone to the wedding. I know she had her hopes set on getting her sister and him together. I keep trying to tell her that he’s got some growing up to do before he’s gonna settle down with anyone, but she’s convinced that they’re going to end up together somehow.
Dad must have steel willpower, or his eyes are truly only for my mother, because Cameron’s date is all cleavage and blonde hair. Although, on second though, I don’t see the appeal of a girl like that anymore either. Why settle for a girl when you can have a lady?

Next to her is Lauren’s mother. Her eyes are twinkling with happiness. Even at her age, her skin is still glowing with youth.

The rest of the chairs are filled with unfamiliar faces. A couple of Lauren’s cousins and work friends. It’s a small crowd, just the nearest and dearest. It’s definitely not the big hype-a-palooza I was looking to avoid, and I couldn’t be happier for it.

Soft ukulele music floats on the air as Cameron walks with Chelsea on his arm up the center of the chairs. It’s not a long walk, but you can see it written all over her face that she’s envisioning what it would be like to take those steps down the aisle toward him as her groom rather than them participating in our wedding.

I don’t have time to dwell on it, it’s not really my problem anyway. Right now I’m struggling to breathe because Lauren is standing at the end of the aisle and she looks like a dream. The pastel sky is reflecting across her white sundress, splashing hues of pink and violet over her gown.

She glances up at me from under her dark eyelashes, and I feel like a live wire is bouncing around in my skin. How is it that I can debrief Colonels? I can sit with Cooper Sanders for interviews? Hell, I can even get a medal pinned to my chest by the Commander in Chief himself, but one little glance from Lauren can turn me into a bundle of nerves?

Because she’s the one.

She’s always been the one. Since the day I dried her tears after she scraped her little knees in grade one. From that moment until now, my mind has only drifted to her. My heart has only ever beat her name. My soul has only ever cried out for her to make me complete.

As she walks toward me, each step affirming our love, I know that she is everything I need. I might be missing my leg. My time in the dessert may have torn a piece of my spirit. But, for as long as I’m with Lauren, I will be unbroken, unscarred, unwounded.

Whole.

“
C
ome on
,” I mumble into Lauren’s ear, “let’s get out of here.” I can feel the heat of her skin tempting my mouth to taste her as she looks around at the stragglers still drinking and dancing around us.

Almost everyone has gone back to the hotel now. Our parent’s and Chris left hours ago, leaving us to drink and dance under the stars with a live band and the ocean’s waves competing to serenade us. Even Chelsea called it a night once she realized that not only is every single lady in the hotel trying to get into Cameron’s suite tonight, but he’s trying to figure out a way to make it work.

Lauren’s eyes lock onto mine and she presses her body tight into mine. “Ok,” she whispers, “let’s go.”

My cock throbs against my pants, if there wasn’t anyone around I’d pick her up and fuck her right here on the outdoor dance floor. I’m guessing that the hotel might frown on public, drunken sex shows though. Just a wild guess.

Instead, I wrap my fingers around Lauren’s wrist and lead her through the darkness to the stone divider marking the edge of the beach and beginning of the hotel’s sprawling lawn.

“Wait, stop!” Lauren stops dead in her tracks only five feet from the reception, “I’ve got a rock in my shoe, I need to get it out.” She leans over and begins to take her shoe off, like I’ve got nothing better to do than wait for the princess and the pea here to get her sweet ass back to the hotel room.

Nope.

“Hey, what…what are you doing?” She giggles as I hoist her up over my shoulder like a firefighter evacuating casualties from a burning building. “Put me down,” she squeals and kicks her feet lightly against my chest.

I pass through the gate in the stone wall and glance at the hotel. How does it still look so far away? The property is immersed in a long stretch of darkness before the wall of lights they have aimed at the hotel. I glance back at the party we abandoned, if anyone has noticed that we left, they certainly don’t care. I know I can follow the stone path leading back to the main entrance of the hotel. I know I can carry Lauren the entire way if I want to. Take her back to our room and fuck her until we both pass out. But where’s the fun in that?

“Mack!” She giggles, “put me down.”

The lady gets what the lady wants. I stumble off the path and make my way to the inside of the stone wall, gently placing Lauren back on her feet. “What are you doing?” She looks up at me from under her long eyelashes as desire sweeps over her beautiful features. She knows damned well what I’ve got planned for her. And if the lust in her twinkling brown eyes is any indication, I’d say she’s just as eager as I am.

“I’m not taking you all the way back to the room,” my voice is gravel, “I want you right here, right now.”

“Here? Do you want me to do this?” She steps into me, her hand snakes down my body until she finds her prize, grasping her fingers around my ready cock. “Or maybe this?” Lauren slides down to her knees, she quickly opens my belt and frees my dick from my dress pants.

“No, I want to…mmm,” my mind goes blank as she slides her perfect lips over my cock. Her tongue swirls around my shaft, making it throb with excitement. Fuck she feels good. I look down at the goddess on her knees, worshipping me. If there’s anything sexier, I’ve never seen it.

I drop my hand against her hair and push myself in past her lips slowly. Watching my cock inch into her mouth makes me crazy. I want to thrust myself deep. I want to watch my shaft disappear into those pretty lips. I want to cum in her mouth and have a lipstick ring tattooed around the base of my cock when she’s done swallowing every drop of my seed. I want to, but that’s not what I’m going to do. Not now anyway. If she wants to give me her mouth, then I’ll give her mine.

“Get up,” I demand. Lauren looks up at me with surprise, but she doesn’t argue. She lets my cock slip from her lips and a I almost regret my words. “Let me help you,” I hold out my hand and pull her back to her feet.