Grizzly Flying Free (Air Bear Shifters Book 2) (5 page)

“I was just wondering what you were looking at,” Lexi stammered out. There was no mistaking the heat that was growing between them. Silver, oblivious, continued to color.

“The boats,” Anderson said, locking his eyes with Lexi’s. “I’ve always loved the water. The air is my first love, but if I wasn’t a pilot I’d be a fisherman.”

Lexi nodded, unable to speak. She could see the heat in Anderson’s eyes growing into a full flame, and the warmth seemed to jump directly from his eyes to the very center of her core. She racked her brain for something clever to say, but all she could manage to get out was a simple, “That’s interesting.”

Luckily, or not so luckily, depending on how you looked at it, their server arrived with their drinks and broke the moment. Silver looked up from her coloring just long enough to thank the server for her chocolate milk, content to let her father order her food for her. After the server had left with their food orders, Lexi turned back to Anderson, intending to ask him whether he had grown up in Alaska. But he spoke before she could get the question out.

“Why’d you move to Alaska?” he asked.

Lexi shrugged. “I wanted to get away from New York. And I love nature, so I thought this would be a nice change.”

“You wanted to get away because you were tired of the party scene?” Anderson asked. Lexi tensed up a bit at the question, but there was no animosity in his voice. Only genuine curiosity. She decided to take a chance on answering him.

“I didn’t party. Really. I was too busy with practices and performances. When Greg and I broke up, he fed tons of lies to the paparazzi to get them to harass me. They would take pictures of me holding a bottle of wine in a grocery store and Photoshop it into a nightclub scene. Sounds crazy, I know, but those people will go to any lengths to stir up drama.”

Anderson nodded, slowly. “I’m sorry I went off on you at the reception yesterday. I read too much into the situation. I should know better than to believe what the media says about people. Trust me. I understand all too well that people are often judged for things that aren’t exactly what they seem.”

Lexi took a sip of her cocktail and waited for Anderson to explain further, but he merely shook his head suddenly and looked up at her.

“Cheers,” he said, holding up his drink to hers. “Can we start this friendship over?”

Lexi smiled. “Sure,” she said. “Cheers.”

Silver looked up and noticed they were toasting, so she added her chocolate milk glass to the toast. The rest of the evening was filled with friendly, lighthearted conversation. Lexi learned that Anderson had indeed grown up in Alaska, and that he came from a family that had been in Alaska for generations. He told her he worked as a pilot for a tour company, and that he was very involved in the local government in his city. He briefly mentioned that Silver’s mother had died in childbirth, but he seemed unwilling to say anything more about that, or about whether he would ever date again. Lexi let it go, and didn’t push him. She loved the idea of a romance with a hardy Alaskan man, but she realized the logistics weren’t likely to work out, since Anderson lived so far away. Not to mention the fact that the brief moment where he seemed to be looking at her with desire had passed. Everything about his tone and manner now was purely friendly.

And Lexi felt okay about that. She had been so busy escaping New York and then setting up her dance studio that she hadn’t realized how much she missed just having a night out with a friend. If nothing else, at least after tonight she had one person in Alaska whom she could call friend.

“But, daddy, you said you were going to let me take more ballet classes here,” Silver’s sad voice wailed out. Frustrated, Anderson ran his fingers through his hair and tried to find the best words to appease his inconsolable six-year-old.

“I know, baby, but we haven’t been able to find a place that’s quite right. I promise I haven’t given up on the idea. But right now we have to go.”

Silver threw herself on the ground in an all-out tantrum, the likes of which Anderson hadn’t seen since his daughter had been a three-year-old. “You promised,” she wailed. “And Miss Lexi would teach me, but you’re too busy trying to pretend like you don’t have a crush on her to let me study with her.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Anderson saw Sawyer’s eyebrow shoot up. Great, just great. Now, not only was Sawyer going to be giving parenting advice, he was probably going to start doling out dating advice, too.

“I do not have a crush on her, Silver,” Anderson said, sounding defensive and hating himself for it.

“Then what’s the problem? Why don’t you let me take more classes with her?”

Anderson normally prided himself on being a patient parent. Even when his daughter had been in the throes of the tantrum-prone toddler years, it had been rare for him to lose his cool. But, right now, Anderson was getting close to losing it. Silver was getting under his skin, but he knew it was only because she was right. He had no idea how she knew that he had romantic feelings for Lexi, but she did. Was he that obvious? He’d tried to keep things very friendly.

After all, even after he admitted to himself that he had probably been wrong about Lexi’s partying ways, he still had to face the reality of how different they were. He was a shifter, and Lexi was human. Sure, shifter-human love matches could work. Sawyer and Amanda were proof of that. But the odds were always against it, and, somehow, Anderson didn’t think the odds were in favor of things working out between Lexi and him.

“Silver, get up off the ground,” Anderson said, his voice rising in frustration. Sawyer had arrived just a few minutes earlier to pick them up and take them back to Frost Peak, and Silver had been acting normally until it was time to board the airplane. Anderson felt embarrassed and frustrated over his daughter’s antics. Sure, Sawyer had seen Silver tantruming before—after all, Sawyer had known Silver since the day she was born, so he had lived through her toddler years. But it had been a long time since Sawyer had seen Silver acting this way, and Anderson was already imagining the well-meant but misguided parenting advice that Sawyer was going to give. Sawyer’s know-it-all attitude had been getting on Anderson’s nerves lately. Apparently, having a newborn made him an expert on all things parenting. Anderson didn’t want to begrudge Sawyer his excitement over his newfound role as a father, but Sawyer had a lot to learn about raising a little girl. To Anderson’s surprise, however, Sawyer didn’t make any comments on Silver’s behavior. Rather, Sawyer brought up something that Anderson had never seen coming.

“So,” Sawyer said. “Have you seen the latest edition of
In the Know
?”

“
In the Know
?” Anderson asked, trying to place where he had heard that title before. Then it hit him: it was a celebrity gossip magazine. “No, why?”

Anderson’s voice sounded guarded and he knew it. But when Sawyer brought up a celebrity gossip magazine, Anderson’s stomach had dropped. Sawyer wasn’t in the habit of reading celebrity rags, so there had to be a reason for his asking. Anderson had a pretty good idea that the reason was Lexi. Had more pictures surfaced of her drinking or partying? Had her ex-boyfriend fed more lies to the paparazzi about Lexi’s extracurricular activities? Anderson knew for a fact that any mentions of Lexi partying in recent days would be completely fabricated. Lexi had been busy wrapping up the dance program for the kids, and then dragging bags of dirt around for her garden. And, of course, taking a break to have dinner with him. Then it hit him.

Oh, shit. It wasn’t possible, was it…? Before he could ask the question, Sawyer spoke up and confirmed Anderson’s worst fear.

“Yeah, well, you might want to check it out,” Sawyer said. “You and your friend Lexi, whom you claim not to have a crush on, are featured prominently on the cover. It seems that at least one of the paparazzi is still hanging out in Kodiak to keep an eye on Lexi.”

Sawyer reached into his pilot bag, and pulled out a thin magazine, then handed it over to Anderson. On the front cover the words “Lexi’s Alaskan Man?” were splashed across the page. A collage of several photos of Anderson and Lexi walking into the restaurant for dinner the other night graced the page. One of the photos was taken from an angle that even made it look like Anderson was reaching out to hold Lexi’s hand, although he knew that in actuality he had been reaching out to open the door to the restaurant like a gentleman. Mercifully, Silver had been edited out of all the photos. Anderson had a feeling that this was less so that the magazine could respect the privacy of a child, and more because a six-year-old tagging along on a dinner date probably took down the romance aspect of the story several notches.

Anderson flipped open the magazine and found the page on which the story was located. The actual text of the article was not that substantial. Several more photos that were not that different from the ones on the cover were included in the interior article, along with a picture of him carrying the three bags of potting soil out of the hardware store. That picture looked like it had been taken from a great distance, because it was much grainier than the ones from outside the restaurant. But you could still clearly see that it was indeed Lexi Shaffer standing next to her pickup truck with him, in all her “sweatpants and messy hair” glory, no less. The text of the article read:

Lexi Shaffer, who escaped to Alaska after a string of too much partying in New York City as first reported by
In the Know
, may have found herself someone new to cozy up to when the cold winter nights start up north. She was spotted spending the day with a tall, muscular Alaskan man. First, the two got domestic by visiting a hardware store for what appears to have been gardening supplies. Then, they shared a romantic dinner at a cozy waterfront restaurant in Kodiak. Has Lexi finally moved on from ex-boyfriend Greg Welch and settled down again? And how will Greg take the news—especially now that supermodel Nicole Yates has broken up with him and left him lonelier than ever? Only time will tell.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Anderson said. Silver’s eyes shot up in her father’s direction, surprised that he used a curse word around her. Anderson tried not to curse most of the time, especially around Silver. But he really had no other way to express the frustration bubbling up inside of him at the article. Silver had stopped her crying long enough to look with interest at what her father was holding in his arms. She could see that it was a magazine, but she couldn’t see the front cover since Anderson had folded it over. And he definitely did NOT want her to see the front cover. The last thing he needed was to add more fuel to the fire of Silver’s insistence that he had a crush on Lexi. If Silver saw a magazine printing that he was Lexi’s love interest, she wouldn’t care that it was a celebrity gossip magazine—she would run with the headline and insist that she had been right.

“Something you want to tell me?” Sawyer asked, drawing Anderson’s attention back to the present moment.

Anderson looked over at his alpha, and rolled his eyes in frustration. “No, there’s nothing I want to tell you. You know these magazines are notorious for printing garbage. I took Lexi out to dinner the other night because I felt bad for her since she has no friends in Kodiak. But it wasn’t a romantic dinner at all. Silver was there too, in fact. But it looks like they Photoshopped her out of all the pictures.”

“Look,” Sawyer said. “I’m not trying to give you a hard time about this. But, first of all, regardless of whether anything is or isn’t going on between you and Lexi, just be careful that you don’t drag paparazzi scum up to Frost Peak. The last thing we need is some celebrity gossip magazine discovering that a clan of grizzly shifters is living up there. Second of all, I’m not convinced that you don’t have feelings for Lexi. You’re getting awfully defensive about her, and you won’t look me in the eye when you say that you don’t like her romantically.”

“Come on, man,” Anderson said. “It’s complicated, okay? I think she’s attractive—you can’t blame me for that. She is a very beautiful woman. But I’m not interested in her on any kind of a serious basis. Like you said, we can’t be dragging paparazzi up to Frost Peak. Besides, I have Silver to think about. I can’t just run off with any woman I find attractive. Dating doesn’t mesh very well with raising a child. Especially long distance dating, which is what this would be, since Lexi lives in Kodiak and I’m in Frost Peak. I don’t think Lexi is interested in moving away from her dance studio after spending so much time remodeling the place and getting it all set up for business.”

Sawyer still looked skeptical. “Look, buddy. I don’t want to push you. I know I’ve been going a little over the top on the advice lately. But if your heart is telling you something, then don’t ignore it. You’ve done an amazing job of raising Silver, and I have no doubt that you’ll continue to do a great job, regardless of whether you find love again or not. Don’t shortchange yourself your own happiness for your daughter’s sake, because a happier dad makes a happier daughter.”

Anderson’s face remained emotionless as he threw the magazine into his bag. “I am happy. Now let’s go. Come on, Silver.”

Anderson began walking toward the waiting airplane, not bothering to even turn around and see whether Silver and Sawyer were following him. He was such a confused swirl of emotions right now, and he didn’t want to let his alpha or his daughter see him floundering.

* * *

Late that evening, after several hours of catching up on clan work that had been left undone while he had been in Kodiak, Anderson finally sank into his couch for a chance to relax. He popped open the tab on a can of beer and took a long drag, then leaned his head back and closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the silence. Silver was already tucked into bed, and, for once, Anderson was taking a few minutes of the evening to relax instead of madly trying to get a head start on his work for the next day.

He opened his eyes and stared at the oversized, framed photo hanging above the mantle of the fireplace. The photograph showed Silver as a newborn, curled up into an impossibly small little ball the way newborns do. She was lying in a basket, her eyes closed in sleep, and blissfully unaware of the heartache that had heralded her welcome into the world. All she knew in that dreaming state was warmth and comfort. She had no idea of how harsh the world could be, or of how unfairly she had lost her mother before she ever had a chance to meet her.

Anderson sighed and took another sip of his beer. For Silver’s sake, he had done his best to remain upbeat, and to not drown in the pain of losing his wife. And he had done a pretty damn good job of not wallowing in pain. But even though he hadn’t wallowed in it, the pain had never quite left him. It was always there, like a dull ache in the back of his mind. He had a happy life overall, but something always held him back from being truly joyful. He knew that he would never be able to run freely and happily through life again, the way he used to as a carefree young grizzly. Life had shown him all too soon how harsh it could be. He was a bear bound captive to pain, and unless he found a way to love again and move on, he always would be. His heart was in chains, unable to break free from the shadow of lost love that hung over it.

Anderson frowned and took another sip of his beer. He knew that there was something special about Lexi. He felt the tugging at his heart whenever she was close by, and it scared him. She wasn’t his type. And how could he fall in love with another dancer, anyway? It seemed incredibly disloyal to his first wife—like he was literally just trying to replace her. Anderson knew his first wife would have told him to stop being ridiculous if she could see into his thoughts right now, but he couldn’t help being scared at the very idea of dating again. Dating a dancer would just be too much.

The soft pitter-patter of little feet drew Anderson’s attention to the hallway, where moments later Silver appeared. She looked so small and adorable in her cotton pajamas with little white kittens printed all over them. Her face looked uncertain and scared, as her hair hung in a messy tangle of waves around her face.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked. Something told him that she wasn’t just trying to get out of going to sleep. She was really concerned about something, and he wanted her to know that he was here to help her.

“I…I wanted to say sorry,” she said, her lower lip quivering just a bit.

“Sorry? For what, sweetie?” Anderson asked, patting the couch next to him. Silver walked over and sat beside him, curling her small body up against him.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so bad and whined so much. I just wanted to dance so badly. And I really thought you did like Miss Lexi. I didn’t mean to make you mad or sad. I just want you to be happy.”

Anderson kissed the top of her head, and sighed. “Sweetie, I’m very happy. Sometimes I have bad days. We all do. But it doesn’t mean I’m an unhappy person overall. I have you, and I have an amazing clan. Life is good. And I owe you an apology, too. I’ve been keeping you from dancing because of my own selfish worries. That’s not a nice thing to do. I worry about you because I love you, but when you love someone you should help them follow their dreams, even if that feels scary. It feels scary to let you go to Kodiak for tutoring, but I know you are a big girl and can handle it.”