Grounded (27 page)

I knew he was a manipulative man.
 
Generous, but manipulative.
 
I honestly didn’t think he could even help himself; he was so used to getting things his way.
 
Even knowing that, though, I considered the idea.
 

Playing by his rules means staying close to her forever.
 
As I realized that, it wasn’t even a question for me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Mr. Desperate

BIANCA

I woke up as James pushed himself into me.
 
I was so wet that it made for a smooth as silk entry.
 
I shuddered and gasped in pleasure before the sleep had fully left my body.
 
This was, without a doubt, my favorite way to wake up.

“Morning, my love,” James rasped, his face just over mine, but his chest held carefully off my breasts.
 

I studied his eyes, my free hand moving to grip into his silky smooth hair.
 
I wanted to catch a glimpse of my tender-lover in those intense eyes, and I was relieved to see it there in the warmth of those turquoise depths.
 
He’d left me so cold before.
 
I needed reassurances and answers now.
 
I needed warmth.
 
But first, I needed this…

He rocked into me with deliciously long strokes.
 
His hands pushed my legs far apart until there was a near painful stretch added into his perfect thrusts.
 
I gasped as he dragged out then buried himself to the hilt, again and again.
 

I clenched around him in the most delectable wake-up orgasm, but he just kept going, driving into me without pause, working me towards another pinnacle as I was still coming down from that high.
 
I cried his name as I came again.
 

I cupped his cheek and watched with covetous eyes as he pounded out his own release long moments later.
 

Our eyes stayed locked as he hovered over me, staying buried deep while he watched me.
 
It was one of our silent standoffs, and I broke first.

“Are you going to tell me what has you so worried that I’ll leave you?
 
So worried that you kept me tied to the bed while we slept?”

His jaw clenched and his eyes flinched but he nodded.
 
“A…video of me was released this morning.
 
It’s all over the internet.
 
There’s no way to control it.
 
I’ve known of the video for about a week, and I’ve been trying my best to keep it from leaking, but I failed.
 
Whoever was behind this didn’t care about making money.”

I swallowed, a sick little ball of dread forming in my gut.
 
“A sex tape,” I guessed.

He broke eye contact, staring down at our joined bodies.
 
“Yes.
 
I’m sorry.
 
Just when I’ve been trying to clean up my image, to clean up my life, this
would
happen.
 
I’m disgusted with myself, if it makes you feel any better.”

It didn’t.
 
“When was this video made?” I asked him.
 

He pulled himself out of me and I gasped at the raw sensation.
 
His hair trailed into his beautiful face as he looked back up at me.
 
“About three years ago, I think, or possibly closer to four.
 
It was taken without my knowledge, I’m embarrassed to admit.
 
It was a setup.
 
One of the few times I wasn’t at one of my own properties.
 
I’m so sorry.
 
My past just won’t seem to go away.
 
Please tell me this isn’t your breaking point.”
 

I studied him, wondering how his mind worked.
 
“Of course I’m not happy about it, but I would hardly leave you over it, James.”
 

I couldn’t speak for a long minute because he crushed the breath out of me.
 
I gasped at the raw sensation it caused in my tender nipples.
 

He pulled back when he heard the gasp, muttering an apology.
 
He moved back over me, more carefully this time.
 
“Thank you,” he murmured into my ear.
 

“I know about your past,” I continued, when he let me.
 
“You’ve been forthcoming with me about your promiscuity.
 
But you should have told me a week ago, when you first heard about this.
 
You’ve been moody and strange and I don’t like to be kept in the dark.
 
You should know better.
 
If we’re going to make this thing work, you can’t keep things like this from me.
 
One of the things that makes me trust you is your honesty.
 
I
need
that honesty, James.
 
Do you understand?”
 

He nodded, his face buried in my hair.
 
“I was just so terrified that you would run again.”

I tugged hard on a lock of his hair.
 
“What will keep me from running is you being upfront with me.”

“Yes, okay.
 
I understand.”

I took a deep breath, hating this next part, but not enough not to ask.
 
“Who is it?”

He tensed against me.
 
“Jolene.”
 

I nodded.
 
Somehow I had known, though that didn’t make me happy about it.
 
“So she made the video, and leaked it.
 
Obviously.”
 

He shook his head.
 
“I can’t rule that out completely.
 
And yes, she obviously set the thing up.
 
But I just can’t see her leaking it, not with the kind of money I was offering to keep it under wraps.
 
And this will ruin whatever she has with Scott.
 
She’s too mercenary to do this just for spite, and with nothing to gain.”

I took his word for that, since he obviously knew her better than I did.
 

He brushed my hair back from my face, and the light picked up those scars on his wrists.
 
I caught his hand, bringing it to my lips.
 
I kissed the inside of his wrist softly.
 

“Are you ever going to tell me what these are from?”

His eyes picked up a certain vulnerable glint that I was coming to recognize.
 
It was going to be bad, though I had always assumed that the scars on his wrists were deep wounds.
 

“Spencer used sharp handcuffs.
 
They cut me.
 
It was one of the first things I noticed.
 
These cuts on my wrists started appearing first.
 
I hid them, because that’s a conspicuous and embarrassing place to have a cut, especially being fourteen, and feeling self-conscious of every little thing to begin with.”

“I can’t say if he used that kind of cuff to make me hold still, or if he just wanted to make me bleed.
 
If he was trying to keep me from struggling, it didn’t work.
 
If I could have cut my own hands off to get away from him, I swear I would have.
 
I certainly tried.”

He let me trace those tiny scars, then kiss every inch of them, very carefully.
 
Tears ran silently down my cheeks.
 
I couldn’t hear what he was saying and not be affected by it.
 

He traced my tears with a soft finger.
 
“It was about that time that I got real promiscuous.
 
I didn’t go a day without hooking up indiscriminately.
 
I wasn’t analyzing it back then, but I suppose I was trying to regain some control, since I’d lost so much of it.
 
And it didn’t help that I was one giant hormone at the time.
 
It all just sort of escalated, and by the time I was an adult, it didn’t get better.
 
I preferred the most casual of hookups, so I almost always went out of my way to find women who were hot, but who I knew I wouldn’t feel bad leaving, which I guess would explain Jules and Jolene, though I didn’t stick exclusively to raging bitches.”
 

I had to hold back a comment about that one.
 
He was talking now, and I wanted him to get it all out.
 
The last thing I wanted to do was stop the flow of information.
 

“It was never straight vanilla for me, but the really kinky stuff developed over time.
 
I knew that I liked things a little more off-color than the norm, and I was always pushing it a step further.
 
At about the age when a normal kid was getting excited to drive his first car, I was running a worldwide hotel chain, obsessively learning to tie knots, and fucking every female in sight.
 
I got better when I started going to therapy.
 
I became more focused, more controlled, but that took time.
 
Getting into the BDSM scene when I was eighteen helped a lot, too.
 
There were rules there, and people that were willing to sort of mentor me about how to do it right, and I got the proper training.”

That was a bit of a shock to me, though perhaps it shouldn’t have been.
 
I wasn’t experienced with the scene, but his control was so perfect that I should have assumed that he’d had some sort of training.

“That was when I met Frankie.
 
She’s three years older than I am, and she knew her stuff.
 
They don’t accept you into that scene until you’re eighteen, for obvious reasons, so the three years she had on me were three years of experience with BDSM.
 
I hit on her at first, tried to turn her into a sub, and ya know, straight, but she laughed in my face.
 
Even after that, though, she went out of her way to mentor me
—
to teach me the rules.
 
In that community you aren’t even allowed to approach a woman until you’re properly vetted.
 
To this day she’s one of my closest friends.”

“I was still indiscriminately promiscuous for years, but the BDSM was so much more satisfying for me, and eventually I went all in, but even my contracted subs were strictly a sexual thing.
 
There’s an entrance to the fourth floor aside from my elevator, and most weren’t even allowed into my home outside of that floor.
 
You can’t imagine what an anomaly you were for me, Bianca.
 
Intimacy was unbearable to me before I set eyes on you.
 
You’ve changed so many things for me, and I never dreamed that could be such a wonderful feeling.
 
I feel like I’ve been brought to life, like I’m a real person now, instead of a pretender.”

I knew all too well how that felt.
 
I doubted many people could have understood as perfectly as I did just what he meant by that.
 

“Yes,” I whispered, watching those exquisitely tarnished eyes.
 
“I feel that way too.
 
I know exactly what you mean.”

He gave me a desperate kind of look.
 
“I know you do.
 
I’ve told you from the start that we were made for each other, and I truly believe that.
 
Things are going to be extra rough for a while, because of this video, and particularly with the press.
 
I’m
begging
you, Bianca, please stick it out with me.
 
Don’t withdraw, don’t take a break.
 
Not even a little one.”

It stung a little that he didn’t trust me, but I knew that was my fault.
 
My eyes and voice were steady.
 
“I won’t, James.
 
I’m staying.
 
I love you.”

His face went a little slack, as though the words were still a shock to him.
 
“Thank you.
 
I love you, too.
 
More than life, Bianca.”
 

I didn’t like that last part.
 
It sounded too self-sacrificing, bringing to mind my dark nightmares of late.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Mr. Porn Star

We decided to work out, since we’d slept most of the day, and I was flying out early the next morning.
 
The idea was to work off the excess energy that too long of a nap had given me.
 

I didn’t mind working out, but I took it easy, mostly sticking to a stationary bike and watching James as he worked over every piece of equipment in his large gym.
 
He was a shirtless sight to behold as he strained himself.
 
My jaw went completely slack as he did mouthwatering pull-ups, his shorts riding low.
 
I thought I may have found a new reason to love hitting the gym.
 

He grinned at me as he moved to the free weights.
 
“Keep looking at me like that if you want to get fucked on a stationary bike, Love.”

I didn’t have a problem with that, so I kept looking.

He watched me back in the room’s mirror-lined walls.
 
I ran my eyes over his body.
 
Even his calves were sexy, I thought.
 
So long and lean, but with that hard play of muscle under the surface.
 

He set down his weights.
 
“That’s it.
 
Come here.”
 

I walked over to him without hesitation.
 

He led me to a spot in front of the mirror.
 
He began to peel off my clothes without another word.
 
I let him, watching our reflections as he bent over me.
 
I loved the look on his face as he tended to me.
 
It was so tender, and almost peaceful, as he took care of me.
 

When I was naked, he lifted my arms above my head.
 
We were next to a piece of equipment and there was a bar above my head.
 
It was adjustable, and he shifted it until I could reach it.
 
“Grip it,” he told me.
 

I reached up to grip it.
 
The movement pulled harshly at my tender breasts, but I didn’t say a word, because then he might stop…
 

He pressed into my back, watching me in the mirror.
 
His hands ran over the front of my body as we watched our reflections.
 
He cupped just the undersides of my breasts very carefully, but quickly released them.
 
One hand moved down to cup my hip, and the other snaked down, along my ribs, past my naval, and into my sex.
 
He fingered me, but stopped abruptly.
 
He held his wet fingers up.
 

“You’re always wet for me.
 
Always.
 
I fucking love that,” he said roughly.
 

His shorts hit the floor, and he positioned himself against me from behind.
 
He parted me with hard hands on the fronts of my thighs, pulling me back against him.
 
I watched his knees bend then straighten as his cock disappeared inside of me.
 

“Oh God,” I gasped as he rammed into me.
 

I watched as he pulled out.
 
It was a long, drawn-out process, my view superb on his massive arousal between my legs from behind.
 

“How’s your grip?” he asked, driving back into me.
 

I had to swallow to answer, my eyes still glued to his magnificent cock.
 

“Good,” I managed.

“Good.
 
Look at me, Bianca.
 
I’m going to fuck you really hard.
 
I need you to tell me if your grip is slipping.”

I nodded, meeting his eyes.
 

He bit his lip and started hammering into me in earnest.
 
I whimpered, loving the mixture of pleasure and pain as he fucked me so hard that it hurt.
 
I craved this the most, I thought.
 

My grip started to slip at the end, and I told him breathlessly.
 

He barely paused.
 
“Let go,” he told me, his hands moving to my hips.
 
He pushed me close to the mirror, until my breasts were nearly touching the glass.
 
He groaned at the sight.
 

“Hands on the mirror,” he told me, and I did.
 
His hips slapped against me with the force of his thrusts.
 

My eyes stayed open, but went a bit fuzzy as I fell to pieces, clenching around him.
 
“James,” I cried as I came.
 

He shuddered and groaned and buried himself to the hilt, his cock twitching inside of me as he came.
 

“So perfect,” he told me simply, kissing my shoulder.

My legs felt shaky as he pulled out of me, but his weren’t, and he swung me up into his arms.

“Shower time,” he told me with a smile.
 

“Um, shouldn’t we get dressed?” I asked.

The gym was on the second floor, and we’d have to walk down the hall, walk up the stairs, then walk down another hall, buck naked, just to get to our room.

His shoulder moved in a shrug.
 
“I’ll walk fast,” he said.

I laughed.
 

Sure enough, Stephan spotted us as James was carrying me up the stairs.
 

“Um, hey,” he called from the first floor.
 
“I take it you guys worked it out?”

We both laughed.
 

“Everything is perfect,” James told him, still walking up the stairs.
 
I was sure that Stephan was getting a spectacular view of his ass.

“Clothes just get in the way, huh?” Stephan called back, laughing now.
 

“Yep,” James said.
 
“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Stephan said.

“Goodnight,” I said between helpless giggles.

We showered and there was food outside our door when we emerged.
 
James fed me each bite, batting my hands away when I tried to grab the fork.
 
It was some sort of vegetable soufflé.
 
It was delicious, and I was starving, so I ate a huge portion before I waved him off.

He polished it off, putting the tray back outside the door.
 

He came back to the bed, pulling me against him.
 
“Are you tired enough to sleep?” he asked.

I shook my head.
 
“I slept too much today.”

His fingers snaked between my legs, fingering me.
 
“Wanna fuck until we both pass out cold?” he asked with a grin.

I laughed.
 
“You’re insatiable, and I’m sore.”
 

He pulled his fingers away, giving me a regretful look.
 
He sighed.
 
“Fine.
 
We’ll find some clothes and go watch TV.

We wound up watching movies with Stephan for most of the night.
 
The guys insisted that we watch Princess Bride again.
 
James leaned into me at one point and whispered, “As you wish, Buttercup,” into my ear.
 

I shot him a look.
 
I suddenly recalled that he’d said that to me before, a few times in fact, and what it meant in the context of the movie, but we’d only been seeing each other for a few days the first time that had happened…

“You’re insane,” I told him quietly.
 

He nodded, smiling.
 
“Completely off my rocker,” he agreed.

He was on my flight to Vegas the next morning, doing his rich man stalker thing.
 
He was even more attentive than usual on the flight that morning, rarely taking his eyes off me, as though afraid I would just disappear.
 
As seemed to be his habit, his most distant mood was being followed by his most attentive.
 

Still, I was busy from wheels up to wheels down, with barely a moment to spare for him, aside from the expected service.
 
We had a decent tailwind speeding up our flight time, so the trip was nice and quick.
 

We were staying at my place.
 
I carpooled with Stephan.
 
A car full of security tailed us closely.
 
James was meeting us at the house.
 

He was waiting in my driveway, and looked to be yelling at a paparazzo when we pulled up.

“Shit,” Stephan cursed.
 
“Wish I had your garage door opener.
 
We’ll go directly into mine, and you can just jump the back fence into your yard.
 
You shouldn’t have to deal with that mess.”

I sighed.
 
“My security will have a conniption if I go anywhere before it’s been searched, even your garage.”

“Oh yeah,” he said.
 
“They’ve even been giving me the royal treatment.
 
Did you know that I have a bodyguard when I go out now, too?”

I hadn’t.
 
I just stared at him, dumbfounded.
 
I’d been so oblivious lately.
 
But I felt an instant wave of relief, and got the warmest feeling in my chest.
 
I loved that crazy man.
 
So much.

He parked in his driveway, and we gave the security plenty of time to flank the car before we got out.
 
Stephan and I shared a look before we got out of the car.
 
The look said, ‘This is crazy.’

James was at least done yelling at the photographer as we approached the house.
 
He saw me and strode to us.
 
Clark was blocking the paparazzo with consummate skill.
 
So well, in fact, that I couldn’t even see the man.

James took my arm, his face tense in annoyance.
 
He nodded at Paterson to go ahead into my house.
 
A bodyguard that I didn’t recognize was already going into Stephan’s house.
 

We waited just outside while Paterson searched the first room.
 

“Bianca!
 
How does it feel to be living with a porn star?
 
When are you planning to release your own video?” the paparazzo shouted loudly to our backs.

I turned into James before the man had even finished yelling.
 
He’d gone tense, and I knew what he wanted to do.
 
I threw my arms around his neck.
 
He hugged me around the ribs, but his head was turned in the direction of the obnoxious man.
 

“Let’s go inside.
 
Somebody get the door open!” I said loudly.

“Do you like to be spanked too, Bianca?
 
I’ll spank you anytime you want!” the foolish man shouted.
 

My hug turned into a death grip.
 
James would have to take me with him if he went after the man.
 
I sent a wild look at our security, who all seemed useless to me at that moment.
 

“If James hits that guy, I’m firing you all!” I shouted at them.
 
“Get us inside, or get that man out of here!”

Finally, mercifully, we got into the house.
 
James ended up carrying me inside, since I wouldn’t let go of him.
   

I didn’t realize that Stephan wasn’t with us until I let go of James.
 
I glanced around.

James was still seething, but he sounded calmer than he looked when he spoke.
 
“You stopped
me
, but there’s only one of you, and I wasn’t the only one getting riled up.”

I was out the door again before James saw my intent.
 
He caught me just outside, his arms wrapping around my shoulders.
 
There was no need, though.
 

Stephan and Clark were striding towards us, grinning.
 

“What happened?” I asked Stephan.
 
There was no sign of the photographer.
 

Stephan shrugged.
 
“I went to give Clark a hand with that prick, but he had it handled.”

We all looked at Clark.
 

He shrugged.
 
“I just explained some things to him, and he left.
 
Some other paparazzi might come here, but
that
guy won’t be back.”

“What did you say to him?” I asked, beyond curious.
 
Those photographers were hard to shake.
 

Clark laughed.
 
He had a great laugh.
 
“I just explained to him that what I would do to him if he
didn’t
leave would affect him for the rest of his life, whereas
I
would only serve five to ten for it.
 
And I explained that the millions of dollars that would be waiting for me on the other side of that five to ten, combined with the mood he’d put me in, would make doing the thing more than worthwhile for me.
 
He just sort of went poof after that.”
 
He gestured with his hands as he spoke.
 

We laughed, and the tension that the horrible man had created vanished just like that.
 
I hadn’t realized that Clark was so funny.
 
He was normally so straight-faced, but he was smiling freely now.
 
Maybe Stephan and I were growing on him.

The house was cleared, and we made it to my room without any further incident.

“I’m surprised that you were able to come to Vegas again so quickly,” I said to James as we were undressing in my closet.
 
“Are things going smoothly in New York?”

“Things are going fine.
 
I would have come even if they weren’t, though.”