Growl (57 page)

“How about pancakes?” she asked, letting her lips spread into a smile and for the moment pushing all her questions and concerns to the side.

The entire Selected legend and the fact that she was probably involved in it had come as a surprise to her, just as the fact that everyone in this house had known about it but her, and just when she thought she could not be shocked again so soon he caught her off guard one more time.

“Pancakes definitely sounds like a plan,” Blaez said, coming inside, moving past everyone until he was near the cabinet where the mugs were stored, taking down the taller, black one he always used.

*   *   *

He'd thought about skipping breakfast. As he'd worked out, bench-pressing just over two hundred pounds for the thirty-second time, he wondered if he could continue with this charade. This wasn't who he was, it wasn't what he'd wanted from his life, and here he was, sleeping with a woman in his bed and looking forward to eating the food she prepared for not only him but also his pack.

This was the life his parents had wanted for him, his mother especially. It was the one she'd talked about all the time.

“Supreme power deserves a partner, Blaez,” she'd told him when he was sixteen. “Someday you will find the one that matches every part of you. It won't be because she agrees with all that you say or do, or that she even likes everything you say and do, but because she will understand you. She will know your heart and your destiny and she will agree to walk beside you, to combine the threads of her life with yours.”

He'd closed his eyes, gritting his teeth as the bar and weights slammed onto the stand once more. His biceps screamed with the stress of his hour-long workout and all that he'd put his body through in those sixty minutes. But Blaez did not get up; he'd lie there for endless moments still thinking, wondering, hating himself for the duplicity and blaming himself for having put these things in motion in the first place.

He should have left her in that forest.

But he'd known he couldn't. Neither his body nor his mind was going to agree on that action. The connection between him and Kira had been too strong for him to ignore.

Now she was here, in his house, in his bed, in his soul. That was the clincher, Blaez thought. For all that he'd sworn against any intimate or emotional connections, Kira Radney had shown up and slipped seamlessly inside, threatening to undo that shield he'd worked so hard to erect. So what the hell was he supposed to do now?

Wiping sweat from his face, he'd decided to do what he always did, persevere. He'd gone to the shower, seen that she'd already been in and out. He touched the bottle of body spray, the one called Amber Romance, and replaced the top that had been sitting right beside it. Inhaling slowly, he let the warm scent permeate his senses, knowing that as soon as he was near her he would recall this very moment. When he was in the shower, beneath the hot spray of water, he'd reached for his soap, only to bump the bottle of coconut shampoo. He'd washed and stepped out, going to the bureau to retrieve his clothes for the day. Out of habit he reached for the door, pulling it open expecting to see the neat rows of jeans, shirts, suits, and ties. What he found were dresses and colorful blouses. What he scented was Kira.

He remembered waking in the middle of the night and moving everything from the room next door to his while she'd slept. It had been an impromptu action, one in the light of day he still could not explain. Closing that door quickly, he'd gone to the next bureau, found his clothes, and hastily chosen an outfit. Next, he was on his way down the steps when he heard the murmur of voices, the female one included. Then he'd heard something that he hadn't had the pleasure of hearing before, her laughter. He had no idea who had said what; all he knew was that he loved the sound. It was genuine and full of life and flanked him like the warmth of the sun. He'd immediately headed for the kitchen, needing desperately to see her, to see that smile and how it might possibly light her hazel eyes. To see what she'd selected to wear from that bureau, how her curves looked in the clothes, how she moved, and to wonder again, Why now? Why her?

The sight of her amidst his pack was another sucker punch to his gut. He liked it, way too damned much. Malec had been closest to her, just lifting his cup to his lips, his stance casual. Channing was at the island, leaning over it, flipping through one of his many cookbooks. And Phelan, he was sitting at the table looking over at Kira with a smile. Phelan never smiled.

Blaez had tried to play it cool, to enter as if this were the easiest thing he'd ever done. Like this scene wasn't some sort of déjà vu. Now, as they all sat at the table eating, talking about things like hiking up the mountain and possibly camping out for a couple of days, Kira eagerly agreeing with the excursion, he was back to contemplating again. No, it was more like fighting with what he knew he was capable of and what his mother, and now quite possibly the Luna goddess, believed to be true.

“What do you say, Blaez? Right after the full moon we pack up and head out?” Channing asked while at breakfast. “I'd have to do some massive shopping to stock up to be sure we have everything. What are we talking, a week maybe?”

“A week away sounds good,” Malec replied, finishing the last of his pancakes and turkey sausage.

“It depends” had been Blaez's reply. “We will wait and see how things play out.”

“You mean you'll wait to see if my father's pack makes an appearance on the full moon,” Kira said quietly.

Blaez wanted to kick himself as the light he'd been so enjoying seeing in her eyes this morning had quickly faded.

Phelan cleared his throat. “He's right. We need to get that out of the way first. Things may change and they may not. We should be prepared either way.”

Malec nodded and Channing frowned, placing a hand over Kira's. She pulled hers away slowly, standing to take her plate and glass to the sink.

“I'm gonna go for a run,” Malec said then. “Come with?”

Blaez knew what would happen next, even without him telling them to do so. Channing nodded, him and Malec taking their plates and putting them in the dishwasher. Phelan gave Blaez a look that said he wasn't happy, which wasn't really new. Blaez gave him the “who's the alpha?” look and Phelan stood. He was just about to follow in the others' footsteps and take his dishes over, but Kira was there, removing them from the table for him. He gave her another damned smile and Blaez felt his fists clenching. Phelan only frowned at him as he walked out of the kitchen, Channing and Malec following behind him.

Kira had crossed the room again, closing the dishwasher and grabbing the towel to wipe off the counter, when she said in a level tone, “Did my father not try to stop Dallas from trying to claim me because he knew I was Selected?”

Blaez rubbed a finger over his chin before letting his hands fall to his lap. “It's possible.”

“Channing said that Selected females come into some type of special power on their twenty-first birthday.” She talked while continuing to drag that towel over the counter, even though it was already clean.

“That's what the legend says. The Selected's power combines with the alpha she is matched with to make them some sort of supercouple. It's the gods interfering once again,” he said with more distaste then he'd meant to.

“Our lives are possible because of the gods,” she replied neutrally. “I used to think that was all unbelievable. How could we, our species, be here amidst this unknowing human one? Why weren't we trapped in Arcadia? Why were we allowed to come here?”

When Blaez didn't answer right away she continued, turning around to lean against the counter, hands grasping the sides of the marble slab.

“Humans keep dangerous animals locked in cages at the zoo. They go out and kill the others under the premise of keeping the population down. That's how they rule,” she told him.

And because Blaez knew exactly where she was going with this analysis, he added, “Zeus and the gods kill the ones they want out of their way and rule the others with ancient legends and powers instead. We're not that different from them.”

She shook her head. “But we're not the same either.”

“No. We're not the same.”

“I want to know what happened to my mother and why. And if Penn is responsible I want him to pay,” she told Blaez.

“Because you've always thought he knew more than he told you,” Blaez said. The last thing he wanted to do was tell her that he believed Penn had Tora killed as well. Only in the early-morning hours had he thought he figured out why. Now he wondered if he should tell Kira without having any real proof, or wait until he had the truth, then present it to her. Either way she was going to be hurt and would possibly grieve her mother's death again. Just as Blaez had done all those years ago. He wished he wouldn't have to watch her go through that but didn't know that there was a way to avoid it.

“Why don't we go out for a run, clear our heads, and stop thinking about this for a while?” he offered, standing from his seat and walking over to her.

“Is this a test?” she asked, looking up at him skeptically.

“I don't understand what you mean.”

“Are you asking me if I want to go outside with you to see if I'll try to run away?”

Blaez was quiet for a moment, taking the last step that closed the space between them. He reached up, touching a soft curl of hair that fell over her shoulder. “Channing took you virtual shopping, Malec's been helping you work out, and Phelan, well, he's not talking about you betraying us every five minutes anymore, so that's his contribution. I haven't given you anything.”

She looked absolutely flabbergasted at his words, which made two of them, because Blaez had no idea why he'd admitted that.

“I … I didn't ask you for anything,” she replied.

How could he tell her that he felt guilty for everything he'd done to her since that very first moment? That if he could he'd give her the world to make it up to her, for giving her what he knew was false hope, he would.

“I know,” he said instead.

“I can't do this hot and cold act anymore, Blaez. I don't know for sure if I was Selected to be here or not. Or how I would know if I were. When I left Seattle a week ago I had no idea what I'd find or if I'd ever end up where I was supposed to be, and I certainly never imagined someone like you.” She took in a deep breath, her eyes closing momentarily before she sighed.

“I don't know what you want me to say” was the only reply he could come up with.

“Then I guess you shouldn't say anything.”

She turned away from him then and Blaez felt like a colossal ass. He was always in control; he knew what to say and what to do at any given moment. He was the fucking alpha! So why was he standing here so helplessly, trying to figure out how to tell this female that he'd messed up, not only for himself but for both of them? There were too many things at play here, too many situations that were bigger than both of them and that prevented the fate of falling in love that his mother had predicted—and quite possibly the selection the Luna goddess had ordained—from coming true.

He didn't know how to say it. How to tell Kira something he didn't completely understand himself. So instead he touched her shoulders.

“Please do not give me another command,” she whispered. “Don't make me do something else that will push us further in a direction you obviously do not want to go. Just don't,” she said, a slight hitch in her voice. “Please.”

It was her safe word. He knew it and so did she. And she'd said it twice. Blaez inhaled deeply, let that breath out as slowly and as calmly as he could, before deciding to hell with it.

One arm snaked around her waist, turning her quickly to face him, while the other instantly went to the nape of her neck, tilting her head upward as he pulled her closer. She gasped, her lips parting, eyes staring up at him in question. Blaez didn't have answers. He didn't have a sustainable plan. And he didn't give a damn. His lips crashed down on hers, his tongue plunging deep into her mouth without malice or afterthought, without anything but the pleasure and some other powerful emotion that had been rippling like a steady stream throughout his body. He kissed her with a fervor he'd never experienced, his eyes closing, mind wrapping around a scene he'd only ever dreamed of once before.

The dream where he was happy. Finally.

 

CHAPTER 12

The full moon

She was killing him.

Slowly, but surely, Blaez thought as he lay on his back in the center of his bed, Kira and all that had happened between them in the two weeks since he'd met her were going to be the death of him.

Of course, said death had come with him walking slowly but assuredly directly along the path set for him. It had led him to her and he'd been led by her ever since. The past five nights, since that heated kiss they'd shared in the kitchen after breakfast, had all ended the same, with moans of ecstasy, each of them being pushed to the brink of their control before diving off the cliff together into memorable climaxes, and then the emotions began. Like a bottomless pool Blaez felt like with each passing night he was swimming, no, treading water, toward an ultimate destination that he was previously convinced he did not want to visit.

“I want you to ask my permission to come this time,” Kira's voice sounded through the muddled thoughts of his mind.

A few moments ago he'd assumed she was asleep, half her naked body draped over half of his, her breathing even against his bare chest. Now, however, she was climbing on top of him, spreading her legs so that she straddled him, looking down at him with heavy-lidded eyes, flecks of gold—he'd only recently learned were there—sparkling in the dark room. Her hair was a wild mass around her face, just the way he'd come to like it. There were so many moments throughout the day, especially yesterday morning when they'd all gone out for a run, when he'd wanted to see her hair this way. Malec, who wanted to test the hour-long workouts he'd been having with Kira each day, had challenged her to a race. Blaez had followed along because he hadn't wanted to let her out of his sight. He watched her break out in a gust of speed, her long legs eating up the ground as if she weren't really touching it at all. Every part of her body had stretched and flexed and he'd had to slow down his own speed because the instant punch of arousal had taken his breath away. When she'd stopped, Malec beating her by a millisecond, if that much, she'd leaned over, hands on her knees, taking in air, before standing straight. Her signature ponytail had swung back and forth and Blaez's fingers had itched to rip the band that held it together free, to ruffle his hands through her hair before tossing her to the ground and fucking her right there where she stood.