Guarded Desires (10 page)

Chris’s heart beat harder. A heavy lump filled his throat. Damn it, he hadn’t realized just how quickly he’d grown accustomed to the man being with him every moment of the day until he wasn’t.

“All right then.” The Australian studio representative walked onto the dais. “That’s it for the day. I’d like to thank the stars of
Dead Even
for rocking up for this morning when it’s such a beautiful day outside.” He turned and smiled at Chris and his fellow cast members. “On behalf of the people of Australia, let me say enjoy the rest of your time here and I hope you have fun at the red-carpet screening tonight.”

The gathered reporters and photographers all clapped. Chris grinned at them, rising to his feet. The other two actors did the same. The room erupted in cheers and blinding camera flashes when the stunning actress leant over to Chris and dropped a kiss on his cheek.

Chris laughed, posed some more with his leading lady and then—doing his best to not appear impatient—excused himself.

He had to get away. He needed to see Liev. Even if the Australian wasn’t speaking to him, wouldn’t even look at him, Chris needed to see him.

Which was stupid, but the way it was.

With a final murmured farewell to his co-stars, he hurried over to Bethany where she stood waiting for him at the side of the dais.

“I need to get out of here.”

She handed him a bottle of coconut water. “Yes, you do. You have an appearance at the Royal Sydney Children’s Hospital in forty minutes.”

Chris raked his hands through his hair. “Where’s Reynolds?”

Bethany raised an eyebrow. “Feeling unsafe, Mr. Huntley?”

Without waiting for his answer, she turned and walked toward the door through which his co-stars and their respective entourages were disappearing. Chris swallowed. He’d been one of those actors once upon a time. He’d had an entourage that partied with him, shopped with him, spent his money for him and generally agreed to everything he said. Then his sister had disbanded it and he’d discovered being famous didn’t give him the right to a free pass of indulgence. Now he survived with just Bethany, Jeff and, when home in the States, Rowan and Aslin. He’d been completely and utterly content with that.

Was he still as content? He couldn’t be, given that Liev Reynolds made him feel complete when he hadn’t realized he wasn’t whole. Surely?

Letting out a shaky breath, he exited the press-conference room. The media spilled out another door a few metres away. As he walked toward where Bethany waited, he heard his name mentioned often. He had to stop himself from turning to look at every male Australian accent.

He followed Bethany to the elevators being held for the celebrity guests, biting his tongue to stop himself asking again where Liev was.

The trip down to the car-park level with his fellow
Dead Even
cast members seemed to go on for an eternity. He did his best to engage in the conversation with the other actors, discussing the red-carpet event that night, the Australian media versus the American, how cuddly koalas were and what their next film projects were. He felt Bethany’s steady scrutiny on him the entire descent. When the elevator finally chimed and the doors slid open, it was all he could do to not sigh with relief.

Saying goodbye to everyone, he walked out of the enclosed, confining space before anyone else could exit.

He stopped dead when his gaze fell upon Liev standing beside the parked Audi a few feet away.

A wave of tortured happiness rolled over Chris. He swallowed, killing the smile wanting to stretch his lips before it could do so. His gut knotted. Never had he been so fucking confused. And it wasn’t like he wanted to slam the guy against the SUV and tongue-fuck his mouth. All he wanted to do was walk over to the man and be in his presence. Feel his gaze on his face as he spoke about the press conference. Share with him the surreal experience of being the focus of so many people’s unwavering attention. Make a dumb joke about being a celebrity and hear Liev laugh at it.

Christ, all he wanted to do was just
exist
with Liev.

But he couldn’t. The Australian had withdrawn from him for professional reasons. They were now, more than ever, famous boss and mute bodyguard.

It fucking sucked.

“I’d heard Australian men could be stubborn.” Bethany’s voice beside Chris made him jump. He swung his stare to her face, willing his heart to slow down. “But that one…” She nodded at Liev and then shook her head.

As if aware he was the subject of their conversation, Liev turned to the back passenger door and opened it, his focus sliding over the surrounding cars.

“Hurry the fuck up, dude,” Jeff called through the open driver’s seat window. “The GPS tells me it’s going to take me thirty minutes to travel six kilometres, and to be honest, I haven’t got a damn clue how long a kilometre is.”

Bethany
tsked
once beside Chris, chuckled and gave him a twisted-lip smile. “Ready, Mr. Huntley?”

He nodded, drew in a slow breath and crossed to the Audi. Liev didn’t say a word, just continued to scan the surrounding area. Nor did he say anything to Chris for the rest of the day. He did his job well. He made sure Chris wasn’t swarmed by enrapt hospital staff and visiting family at the Children’s Hospital. He stayed in the background, his expression friendly if somewhat serious. Chris didn’t miss the sneaky smiles and grins he gave the children in their sickbeds as they were led through the hospital by the doctor. Every time Liev bestowed a grin on a giggling, curious child, Chris’s chest grew tighter. Every time the Australian winked at one of them, the lump in Chris’s throat grew thicker.

Two hours later, Chris was a goddamn emotional wreck. The courage of the sick children tore at his heart. Their open joy at sharing time with a famous actor despite their debilitating—and in some cases—terminal illnesses humbled him. He found himself overwhelmed by their happiness and fighting spirits. He thanked God often for his sister and promised himself he would hug her senseless when he returned to the States.

If it weren’t for Liev, he wouldn’t have made it. He’d lifted his attention to the man more than once to find him looking at him. Every time their gazes would connect for a moment, just a stolen moment, before Liev looked away.

Every time he did, Chris died a little inside. What made it worse was the way Bethany watched it all. She was smart, smarter than he, Rowie or Aslin had anticipated. If he wasn’t careful, his P.A. would suspect something was going on.

What would she do then?

It was only when they were seated in the SUV again, Bethany sitting beside him in the back, Liev in the front with Jeff, that Chris allowed himself to relax. They were returning to the waterfront mansion. Out of the public eye for a few hours before the red-carpet screening of
Dead Even
. He’d send Bethany out with Jeff to find some take-out, maybe Italian or Mexican, and then confront Liev. Make the bastard talk to him. Demand Liev tell him what was going on in his head.

Demand Liev kiss him again. One more time, so Chris could test Liev’s theory that the kiss in the restaurant was just a
freak moment
.

It was a sound plan. One Chris was pleased with.

Liev shattered any hope of carrying out the plan however, by announcing he had to leave Chris in Bethany and Jeff’s capable hands for a couple of hours a short time after they arrived back at the mansion.

Standing in the middle of the living room, Chris frowned at the man. “Why?”

“My niece has locked herself out of her home. She sent me a text just as we were pulling into the driveway. My brother and his wife are still at work and Caitlin needs to get inside to finish a school assignment that’s due tomorrow.” Liev dropped his attention to his cell phone, tapped on the screen in a quick series of jabs with his thumb and then lifted the phone to his ear. “I will be back before you leave for the red-car—” He stopped, held up a finger and half-turned away from Chris. “Heya, Turps?” he spoke into the phone, his free hand dragging at his hair. “You on duty? I need to get to Balmain ASAP. Can you get me—excellent, excellent. Yeah, same place. Okay. No worries. I’ll be out front. See you in ten.”

Shoving his phone into his pocket, he turned back to Chris. “You’ll be fine,” he said. “Bethany won’t open the door to anyone, and Jeff has my permission to punch anyone who tries to climb up the balcony.”

It was said in jest. Chris could see that. For some reason however, it angered him. “Gee, anyone would think I’m incapable of protecting myself.”

A still calm fell over Liev. He fixed Chris with a steady, unreadable stare. “Isn’t that what I’m here for? To protect you?”

Chris ground his teeth. “I
did
punch the shit out of Aslin Rhodes, you know. Twice.”

Liev had the nerve to chuckle, the edges of his eyes crinkling with mirth. If Chris weren’t so damn irritated he’d revel in the simple fact he’d made Liev laugh. “I saw those punches. It was my first day watching over you from a distance on set. Suffice to say, Rhodes didn’t seem hurt.”

Cold anger shot through Chris. “So you’re saying what? I’m a pussy?”

Liev’s nostrils flared. The muscles in his jaw bunched again. “I’m saying, Mr. Huntley, that I would hate anything bad to happen to you. It’s my job to protect you, and I need to make certain that when I’m not here to do that, all contingencies are covered. If you want to take that as a slight against your masculinity, I can’t stop you.”

The anger licking through Chris turned to icy shard of contempt. He took a step closer to Liev, eyes narrow. “Say it. Say you think I’m a pussy. You’re a real tough guy, aren’t you? A fucking homo who can beat people up. Say you think I’m a pussy who can’t look after himself. Go on, I fucking dare you.”

Liev stared down at him. He didn’t move.

Sour self-disgust boiled in Chris’s gut. It coated the back of his throat. His breath grew shallow. His head felt ready to explode. God, he wanted to hit something, hurt something. “Say it,” he snarled, leaning closer to Liev, hate and fury and darkness eating at his soul. Devouring him. Destroying him.

Liev didn’t say it. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he raised his hand, pressed it to the side of Chris’s face and brushed his thumb along Chris’s bottom lip. “You are not this person, Chris. You’re not a homophobic arsehole. You are amazing.”

And before Chris could move, before his unhinged mind could register the exquisite warmth of Liev’s palm on his cheek, before he could gasp with the sheer rightness of the contact, Liev stepped away from him and walked from the room. Down the stairs. Out of the house.

Chris sucked in a ragged breath. Another. Another. He turned on his heel, searching the room and finding himself alone. Bethany was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Jeff.

He closed his eyes and pulled in another breath, this one not so ragged. The side of his face prickled, his mind telling him exactly where Liev’s hand had pressed to his flesh.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

Silence greeted the curse.

Opening his eyes, he raked his hands through his hair. Fuck. His stomach rolled.

“I’m going swimming, dude.” Jeff’s shout shattered the self-loathing and tension paralyzing Chris. He flinched, turning just in time to see Jeff making his way through the living room toward the door that led out to the house’s private pool. “You coming?”

Forcing a laugh from his strangled throat, Chris shook his head. “No,” he croaked. “I’m going to go work out in the gym for a bit.”

Jeff pulled a face without slowing down. “Idiot.”

The loud
yeehah
a moment later, followed by a louder splash, told Chris his friend was in the water.

He let out a wobbly laugh and climbed the stairs. He
would
work out. He needed to do something before his next public appearance. If he didn’t he may as well tattoo
confused moron
on his forehead.

He was on the fifth step when the sound of footfalls behind him stopped him.

His blood roaring in his ears, he turned.

Liev stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at him.

Chris swallowed.

Without a word, the Australian ascended to where Chris stood, coming to a halt on the step below him.

They stared at each other, silent. And then Liev leaned forward and brushed his parted lips over Chris’s, a feathering caress of skin on skin. “Amazing,” he whispered against Chris’s mouth, his palm cupping Chris’s jaw with gentle pressure. “Bloody amazing.”

And then he was gone. Down the stairs without looking back, the dull thud of the door closing like a gunshot through Chris’s chest.

“Idiot,” Liev muttered, fixing his stare on the road.

He’d promised himself all last night he wasn’t going to touch Chris again. He’d promised himself through his punishing workout in the gym he wasn’t even going to look the actor in the eye. The temptation to return to the kiss in the office yesterday was too great. To finish what had started against the door.

Liev wasn’t one for denying himself. The day he’d decided to own his bisexuality was also the day he’d decided to follow his gut when it came to desire. Fighting something like that was bloody stupid, especially if the desire was reciprocated. Life was too short to lie to oneself about something as enjoyable as sex and pleasure.