Guarded Desires (19 page)

And yet here he was, falling in love. There was no other explanation for the sheer and utter contented happiness he felt whenever he thought of Liev, looked at him, heard him, felt him.

It should have scared the shit out of him, but it didn’t. Life was too short to deny something so amazing, so precious when it finally fell in your lap.

He smiled, grateful for the tiled wall behind him. His orgasm had been so absolute if it wasn’t for the wall, he’d be a puddle of sated rapture on the shower floor.

“Your cock is truly a thing of beauty.”

Liev’s deep voice stretched Chris’s smile wider. “Beauty and snuggling,” he murmured. “What every tough guy needs.”

“You know, you’re not a wuss for having sex with a man.”

Chris opened his eyes at the calm reproach in Liev’s statement. His heartbeat tripped over itself. “What do you mean?”

The Australian leaned toward him, planting his hands on the wall either side of Chris’s head. “I mean, you’ve commented more than once on your masculinity in the last few minutes, like you’re trying to reassure yourself you’re still a man.”

A heavy lump filled Chris’s throat at the observation.

“If it helps, you are.” Liev’s gaze held his, his eyes intent. “You still have the same level of testosterone in your blood system. Still have a Y chromosome. None of those things changed the second your dick buried in my arse.”

Chris swallowed. Or least tried to. The lump in his throat made it damn near impossible. “I didn’t…”

Liev’s smile stopped his denial. Jesus, was that what he was doing? With all the wiseass jokes about being a tough guy? Trying to convince himself he wasn’t a…a…

Fag?

The vile word whispered through Chris’s mind like a rotting wind.

“You’re scared, Huntley.” Liev’s gaze didn’t leave his face. There was no censure in the man’s voice. “You’re allowed to be. I’ve seen it more than once.”

Hot jealousy stabbed into Chris’s self-contempt at the thought of Liev with other men. Christ, was he truly so insecure in himself he could swing from doubting he was still a man to hating the goddamn notion of Liev being with another one? “How many times?” he asked before he could stop himself. He was pathetic. Pathetic.

Liev shook his head. “How many men I’ve fucked is not important, Chris. And neither is how many women, but if it helps, not as many as your mind is trying to torment you with right now. I can count them all on both hands.” He grinned, a gentle mirth Chris was already growing addicted to. “One for each sex. What’s important is how you think and feel about yourself. If you can live with yourself knowing you’re attracted to men.”

It was Chris’s turn to shake his head. “I’m not attracted to men. I’m attracted to you.”

A wry chuckle bubbled past Liev’s lips. “Perhaps I’m just the first you’ve acknowledged.”

Chris pushed himself from the wall, his nose so close to Liev’s they touched briefly. “Nope. The first. Period. And I can live with that because I’m not ashamed of it.”

Liev’s nostrils flared. “Really? What happens if someone posts a rumour about your sexuality on Twitter? Have you taken a good look at that image of you and me at the restaurant riot?
I
can see the desire in your eyes. Hell, I can see it in your body. It’s only a matter of time before someone else does. What do you do when
E News
or Perez Hilton or some other entertainment gossipmonger is proclaiming to the world you’re gay? What do you do then?”

“Tell them to mind their own fucking business.”

Liev’s answering laugh was a humourless bark. “Yeah, like that’s worked for all the celebrities who’ve tried it before you.”

Chris ground his teeth. How could they go from snuggling to this? And in the shower? Jesus, if it weren’t so goddamn surreal it’d be hilarious. Perhaps he should tell the writers about it when
Twice Too Many
resumed filming?
Hey, how ’bout we have my character argue about sex in the shower with his latest fuck buddy? Trust me, it’ll be a laugh a minute.

He glared at Liev, his fists bunching. “Let them write and say whatever they want. It doesn’t matter to me. Every actor has endured it at some point. Christ, Hugh Jackman’s sexuality is questioned every damn day, especially when he’s in a damn musical. If the guy who brought Wolverine to life can still live and work with gay rumours, I can too. And you can’t get much more of a tough guy than Wolverine, can you? It’s Hollywood. It’s vicious and nasty and mean spirited when it wants to be.”

Liev’s gaze never wavered from Chris’s eyes. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t move.

Chris tilted his chin, the warm water streaming over his back and shoulders an incongruous caress on his skin. “What? Not the answer you were expecting?”

An unreadable emotion darkened Liev’s eyes, there and gone before Chris could decipher it.

“I don’t know what to expect from you, Huntley. From the second you entered my life you’ve bloody thrown me for a loop.”

Chris’s heart lurched into his throat. The man wasn’t as unaffected by all this as Chris believed. For some reason, that fact sent a tight ribbon of elated hope into his soul.

“But as for right now?” Liev went on, his voice growing lower. “I don’t know whether to shake some sense into you or kiss you senseless.”

“I vote the latter,” Chris answered.

He captured Liev’s lips with his own before the man could move. Flattening their bodies together, he snared two fistfuls of Liev’s wet hair and made love to Liev’s mouth with his tongue, refusing to let him go.

Liev growled, his rigid cock poking Chris in the belly. Chris reached for it, needing its hot steel in his hand, on his flesh.

Liev groaned, his hips rolling the instant Chris gripped him.

The kiss turned hungry. Wild. Chris surrendered to it, to Liev’s domination. When the man yanked open the shower door and pulled Chris from the cubicle, he didn’t argue or offer resistance.

When Liev dragged him into the bedroom, he went willingly.

When the man shoved him to his knees at the foot of the bed and bent him face first over it, pressing his chest to the mattress, Chris complied, his breath ragged, his body on fire.

When Liev’s hands gripped his ass, spreading his cheeks wide, exposing his anus to the room, Chris could only whimper a hoarse, “yes.”

And when Liev’s tongue lashed at that puckered ring of muscle, it was all Chris could do not to scream with the intense pleasure shearing through him.

He drove his ass back to Liev’s lashing tongue, the sensations of hot, wet flesh on his entrance like pure colours of passion detonating in his soul.

Liev fucked his ass with his tongue, each drilling, flicking thrust pushing Chris higher, closer to the edge of a fall he wanted to take.

Fisting the duvet, he drove his face to the cool silk and begged for more, aching for it.

His whole body was on fire. His head swam with the torment of pleasure. His balls throbbed. His cock—

Liev’s fingers wrapped around Chris’s erection, a fierce, savage vise that made him cry out.

“Fuck, yes!” He bucked backward, his toes digging at the carpet, seeking traction as he drove his ass into Liev’s punishing tongue.

Liev pumped his cock, his hand matching the fevered motion of his mouth. Faster. Faster.

Chris writhed, his world reduced to his ass and his cock and the raw pleasure Liev delivered upon them.

Time ceased to exist. Nothing existed, except Liev.

Liev.

Christ, he wanted Liev in his ass. He wanted the man’s thick, massive cock balls deep in his ass. He needed—

Liev tore his mouth from Chris’s flesh, replaced it with his thumb and Chris erupted.

His orgasm ripped through him, a scalding explosion of constricting electricity and intense sensations. His come jetted from his cock, splashing the silk of the duvet, slicking Liev’s pumping hand. He roared. Fisted the bedding. Gave himself over to the pleasure, the pleasure…

A lifetime later, Liev rested his sweat-slicked body on Chris’s back and released Chris’s spent shaft. His heart thumped hard against Chris’s shoulder blades, a rapid rhythm Chris felt all the way into his soul. “I…” Chris began.

Without a word, Liev straightened to his feet and walked away.

Chris kneeled on the floor, bent over the foot of the bed, unable to move. Behind him, he heard the shower stop. A second later, a warm damp washcloth swiped over the tops of his come-slicked thighs.

Still silent, Liev placed a soft kiss on the base of Chris’s spine and then walked back into the bathroom.

The desire to stay motionless welled through Chris. To stay where he was, his used body waiting for Liev to return to it. As satiated as he was, he still wanted more.

He wanted Liev to fill him, stretch him. He wanted to be joined with him, in the same way he’d joined with Liev earlier.

He wanted Liev’s cock in his flesh.

At the sound of Liev’s footfalls on the carpet, he turned to look at his lover. A sharp sense of disappointed shot through him at the sight of the white towel now wrapped around the man’s narrow hips. A tight rope of excitement followed at the sight of Liev’s erection tenting the fluffy material.

Repositioning himself against the end of the bed, his bare butt on the floor, Chris rested his elbows on the mattress, not even remotely interested in covering his flaccid cock where it lay against his inner thigh. “Why didn’t you take me then?”

“Where? Don’t you think it’s a bit late for dinner?” Liev shot the watch on his wrist a quick look. “And a bit early for breakfast, given that it’s only three forty-nine?”

Chris grunted. “I’m the funny guy in this relationship, remember?”

Liev cocked an eyebrow. “Relationship?”

“Hell, yes.” Chris glared. “Relationship. Now quit changing the subject and tell me why you didn’t fuck me.”

The man’s chuckle was low as he closed the distance between them with a few steps. “Floaties, darling. Floaties.”

Chris rolled his eyes. “If you mention floaties one more time I’m going to—”

His words died on his tongue when Liev removed the towel from his hips, revealing the most impressive hard-on Chris had ever seen.

“Get on the bed.”

Liev’s calm command sent a wicked thrill of anticipation into his groin. “Why?”

“Because you need to sleep.”

Chris’s mouth fell open. He stared up at his lover, lost for words.

Liev laughed. “Bethany will kill me if you’re too tired to function properly tomorrow at the wildlife reserve. And Rhodes will kill me if I’m too tired to protect his brother-in-law if more of your fans decide to riot again.”

Chris didn’t move.

Liev crossed his arms over his massive chest. For a moment, Chris wanted nothing more than to straighten to his feet and capture one of the frustrating man’s tiny nipples with his mouth.

A grin played at the edges of Liev’s lips. “Trust me, my dick will be just as hard after we’ve had some shuteye. Harder even.” He tossed a nod toward the bed. “For now, we’re sleeping.”

“Together?”

“How else am I to guard your body if I’m not beside it?”

“Good point.”

Rising to his feet, Chris climbed onto the bed and crawled toward the head on all fours. Pausing once, he twisted a look over his shoulder, wriggled his ass in the air and dropped Liev a wink. “Are you sure you don’t want to…” He wriggled his butt again.

“Spank your arse? You better believe it, but I’m scared shitless of Bethany. Now hurry the fuck up and get into bed.”

Chris crawled farther up the mattress before stopping again. “Do you snore?”

Liev cocked an eyebrow.

Chris grinned. “Just checking.”

He adjusted the sheets and stretched out on his side, his blood roaring in his ears as Liev tucked his solid form against the length of Chris’s back.

Chris’s mind whirled with the reality of the situation. His heart raced. His soul sang. If he were a poet, he’d spend the night composing sonnets to the man holding him. He’d heard half of Shakespeare’s poems were written to the bard’s male lover. Lying here now, with Liev’s heat and strength enveloping him, Chris could fully understand and appreciate the poet’s pre-occupation with his male muse.

Love was a powerful force. One to be reckoned with.

“Now this…” Liev’s husky murmur tickled Chris’s ear and he twisted in the man’s arms, just enough to see his lover’s face from the corner of his eye, “…is snuggling.”

Chris laughed, one hundred percent convinced there wasn’t a hope in hell he was going to fall asleep.

So when he opened his eyes a heartbeat later he was more than surprised at the golden sunshine streaming through the room’s floor-to-ceiling glass doors.

He blinked, for a split moment awash in a disorientating fugue, and then a thick, steely pole nudged the crevice of his ass, a thick, muscular arm snaked around his hips and Liev was pressing to his back, his lips grazing Chris’s bare shoulder.

“Ready for the deep end, Huntley?”

Chris’s heart smashed into his throat. His breath caught. His morning wood throbbed. He turned in Liev’s strong arms, his head spinning as their erections clashed and slid against each other.