Guardian (12 page)

A
lex swiveled
in his office chair as he checked up on the opening hours of the nearest clinic. He’d have to head to Jackson Heights, which was twenty minutes away assuming no traffic on the Grand Central Parkway, and the clinic only offered walk-ins.

He tapped a pen against his blotter pad and checked his diary. The best he could do was Thursday afternoon.

Damn, that felt like forever. But it would have to do.

He closed the tab and went back to grinning to himself and swinging back and forth in the chair. Val was giving him the eyeball from across the room and he didn’t care.

Ty had been everything he could have wished for. Jesus, the man even respected him when it came to the condoms. He’d gone off and educated himself!

After their earth-shattering lovemaking, Ty had unabashedly admitted to Googling everything from skin-contact STDs to non-penetrative sex acts, with a focus on not screwing up when he got Alex out of his clothes.

Alex had to laugh. Ty had done anything
but
screw it up. Jesus, if this was what the guy was like as a total newbie, Alex shuddered to think how things would be once he had some experience under his belt.

A keeper.

Yeah. Ty was definitely a keeper. If he’d have it that way. If he’d want someone like Alex as a boyfriend.

Alex bit his lip and shook his head.
Shut up. Shut the hell up. Don’t screw this up!

Confidence in the courtroom was one thing, but he knew full well that the confidence in himself, in his worth as someone to love and be cherished was another entirely. He’d fallen for the wrong guys time and time again and it was impossible to know which came first: the assholes or his low self-respect which kept him going back to assholes. But Ty was different.

It was time to break the cycle. Time to stop hiding. Ty was a keeper, and Alex was
not
going to lose him. Not now that he’d found the perfect guy. Mister So Right It Hurts.

He sat upright quickly at the knock on his door. “Come in.”

Caroline. Of course. Thank God. For a moment’s panic there he had the irrational idea that someone had scheduled him with a client first thing on a Monday morning.

“Alex,” she cooed. Her arms clutched a barrage of envelopes to her chest, and she sifted through them to drop five into his in tray. “How was your weekend?”

Alex couldn’t help it. A grin manifested itself and he adjusted his glasses to try and hide it. “Oh, you know. Fine. How was yours?”

She gasped as though she’d uncovered some scandal, and dropped into the seat facing his desk. “All right, tell me everything!”

“What?” Alex reached for his pen and began to fidget with it again. “There’s really nothing to tell…”

“Oh, hush. I know something’s been going on for weeks now. You’ve had that look in your eye. Is it Amanda Cross? This all started right around the time you finished working on her case. You’ve been mooning over her ever since, haven’t you?”

He laughed at the absurdity of it. “Miss Cross? No, absolutely not.”

“Young man, a guy like you doesn’t stay single forever. And when he gets the look in his eye like you’ve got this morning? You are one hundred percent the cat who got the cream over the weekend.”

He couldn’t help but blush furiously.
Oh yeah. I got the cream all right.

Caroline leaned forward and placed one hand against the desk. The other clasped her remaining mail to her chest. “Well if you don’t want to tell me who she is, at least tell me what she’s like. Is she good to you? Does she treat you right?”

“Caroline, I—” He shook his head, and a surge of pride swelled up in his chest. And then other things rode its coattails: frustration, indignation, warmth, fear. They all bubbled together inside him until he felt queasy.

He couldn’t tell her. It’d reach the senior partners, then who knew what could happen after that. Maybe nothing more than sidelong glances in the corridors, maybe something like a pink slip and a short, sharp farewell. It was like Pandora’s box. Once he was out, he couldn’t ever get back in.

Ty had overcome his whole sense of self-identity to be with Alex. The mechanic had been so convinced he was straight as a die, and then he’d given Alex the best intercrural he’d ever had in his life. Alex was proud of him. So damn proud he wanted to scream Ty’s name from the rooftops, to tell the world how amazing he was. And maybe even, one day…

How could he do
any
of that if he didn’t have the balls to say it, right now? To put his happiness first for once?

Caroline tilted her head sympathetically. “What is it, dear?”

Alex tossed his pen down and drew himself upright. “I’m gay.”

She blinked and sat back in her seat, eyes wide. “Oh!”

“Yep.” Alex puffed out his cheeks. “Gay as the day is long. I’ve met someone. You’re right, you’re absolutely right. I’ve met someone, and he’s fantastic. I know it’s kinda early days yet, but he’s a good guy. And I think at last he could be the
right
guy, you know?” He laughed. “Suddenly you listen to your iPod one morning and everything you’ve got loaded on it makes sense, like it all just comes into focus.”

“Well then.” She didn’t seem to know what else to say for a moment, then she leaned in again. “How long have you been gay?”

“Always.” He grinned.

“You asshole.” Caroline grabbed a letter out of his in tray and swatted his arm with it, scowling at him. “You could have told me sooner! Wasting my time trying to set you up with nice girls, I could’ve found you a handsome young thing ages ago! Who is he? Tell me everything!”

Alex stared at her. Her momentary shock seemed to have already passed, whereas his had only just begun to settle in. “Wait, you’re serious? You want to know?”

“I want to know why you let me witter away without ever correcting me. I feel like a fool.” She huffed and dropped the letter back down into his tray.

He gaped, for a moment, then clamped his jaw shut. “I don’t want to get fired.”

“Dear, nobody does. And if they fire you over this I’d be very surprised. This might not be some high-flying Manhattan firm, but it’s professional. You know that. You wouldn’t stay here if it wasn’t. And the senior partners?” She shuffled in her chair. “All locals. All New Yorkers. All older than me, and even I remember Stonewall and I was fifteen when it happened. You think anyone in this profession who lived through the riots, the first ever Pride march, the Gay Liberation Front, and all the legislative changes brought about in the years since the riots would fire a good attorney for being gay?”

“I don’t know,” he said simply. “What if clients don’t want me near their children?”

Caroline snorted. “You’re wonderful with kids!”

“I love kids!” He threw his hands up. “But bigots are weird! What if me being gay loses us clients, and then I have to be fired to save the company?”

“What if there are gay families out there who are struggling to find an attorney who understands their problems?” she countered. “I have seen you to toe-to-toe with attorneys who work in way fancier offices than this one, and you
win
against them. Because you’re good! You’re smart! You’re passionate!” She leaned in once more. “The only trouble is you have this weird idea that you’re none of those things. You never let it affect your clients’ cases. You put everything aside when a child’s safety and happiness is at risk. Well it’s time to take care of yourself, Alex. Tell me about this guy. He better be good enough for you or I will kick his ass.”

His cheeks grew hot under her assault and he glanced away rather than face a few hard truths. Especially truths delivered by Caroline, of all people: the office’s lovely old cat lady. Damn, she was fierce when angry.

She cleared her throat.

“Titus Edwards,” Alex answered. He turned to face her. “It’s Ty Edwards.”

She pursed her lips. “Oh! With the little girl, Phoebe?” Caroline narrowed her eyes at him. “You didn’t—”

“No! Not while he was a client. But after, we kinda liked each other, and we went on a few dates, and…”

“And now you’re an item,” she concluded with a satisfied nod. “I like him. I got a good feeling about him, and not just because he’s an incredibly handsome young man. Oh, if I were thirty years younger, the things I’d do to that boy…” She fanned herself with her hand.

“That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.” Alex grinned shyly as the word
boyfriend
passed his lips. “I guess everyone in the office is gonna know now, huh?”

“If you want me to spread this, say the word. Otherwise it’s your business.”

Alex lifted his eyebrows.

“I suggest you just start correcting people when they ask whether you have a girlfriend or whether you’ve met a nice girl. If you want to fling open your door and scream that you’re gay go right ahead, but you shouldn’t have to. Just be you, dear. And if you do get fired for that, I’ll go with you.”

Alex leaned back in his chair and regarded Caroline in a new light. “You would do that?” he said slowly. “You’d hand in your notice if they fired me?”

“You watch me. I’ve given this company thirty years of my life. I won’t give them a second more if they turn out to be bigots. Attorneys are here to fight for people’s rights, not to judge them for who they are.”

He couldn’t work out what to say. His eyes itched, and he blinked rapidly, but they watered anyway. Alex cleared his throat and fidgeted with his glasses, then finally he managed to say, “Thank you.”

“Just saying what I think is right.” She stood and took her letters with her to the door.

Alex nodded. “Oh, Caroline?”

“Yes?” She stopped with one hand on the door and looked back to him.

“I’m going to need to keep Thursday afternoon free. Make sure nothing gets booked in there? I’ll be working from home.”

She eyed him, then grinned. “Will do.”

Alex watched her go, then allowed himself a small smile. Not everyone he told would be so accepting, but having Caroline on side suddenly made coming out seem a lot less painful.

T
y rolled
over in bed and grabbed his phone the moment his alarm began to sound. The bright light it gave off made him squint as he thumbed the alarm off, and he stretched and yawned before he flung his sheets aside.

He sat bolt upright and checked for any new texts, but there weren’t any yet. Understandable. Alex took Val out for a morning jog each day before work and didn’t usually start to text until he was home after that.

Ty hopped out of bed, eager to get his day underway. He’d shower, get Phoebe ready for school, make her eat her breakfast, get those pesky shoelaces sorted, then get her to the bus stop on time. After that he could get to the shop and get through the day’s work he had lined up.

This evening he could invite Alex over. They could play board games with Phoebe, then once she was in bed he’d show Alex the test results he’d receive later today. He knew they’d be fine—the tests were a regular thing in the military, and after that he’d hardly had the time to go dipping his wick anywhere—but Alex was right. For both their sakes it was the sensible thing to do.

And once that was done, they could get down to being anything
but
sensible.

He smirked to himself as he headed into the shower.

B
y the time
he reached the shop he’d gone from humming to whistling. He’d already been a total asshole and sent Alex a few choice post-shower selfies, only to follow them up with the most casual dinner invitation he could assemble, and Alex’s responses had grown increasingly frustrated until he’d agreed to be there at seven.

Ty worked on servicing a Nissan Altima. It was only a ’13, so it barely needed anything more than filters and oil changed, but that didn’t mean he’d do a half-assed job of it. He ran through his full checklist one line at a time, and he was just ticking off the last box when one of his regulars wandered in through the front.

“Hey, Edwards. What’s got you so upbeat this morning?”

Ty gave it a second to fish the guy’s name out from the back of his brain. “Hey, Miller. Nothing much. What makes you ask?”

Miller was another vet, but he had twenty years on Ty. His hair was dark and flecked with gray, and his skin had a permanent tan to it. The guy ran a small demolition derby team and frequently brought in scrap vehicles to have all the glass removed and make the engines last long enough for gladiatorial combat. He eyed Ty with a knowing smirk and nodded to himself. “Nothing, huh? Let me tell you something, Edwards.” He strode across the shop floor, hands in the pockets of his tattered old jeans. “You’re a damn fine mechanic. You charge fair prices. But man if you ain’t the most dour motherfucker I ever had the pleasure of doing business with. So when I walk in here this morning and I see your ass jiggling and I hear you whistling to yourself it ain’t hard to figure something’s different.” He snorted. “You finally get some?”

“Yeah.” Ty smiled wryly. “I did. What can I do for you?” He tucked his clipboard under one arm.

“Oh, you know what my boy’s like. Total crap he picks up off these junk yards. Now he’s found another one. When can I bring it down to get it cleaned up and ready to roll?”

“Let me check the schedule.” He beckoned Miller to follow and led the way to his office.

He had a new email waiting. Ty’s gaze flickered to the subject line and felt an unexpected sense of dread.

The test results.

He put his clipboard down and sank into the chair, tabbing to his calendar and skimming over it. Miller’s vehicles usually took three hours, but he allowed for four. “Next Tuesday?” he offered.

“Morning?” Miller nodded. “No problem. I’ll have it waiting for you when you get here.” He eyed Ty, then chuckled, “she’s pretty special, huh?”

“Who?” Ty added time into the calendar for Miller’s work.

“This new lady of yours.”

It took Ty a moment to work out that particular puzzle. He couldn’t figure out what lady Miller might be referring to until he added up their entire conversation. “No lady,” he answered. “Boyfriend. But yeah, he is pretty damn special.”

Miller frowned at him like he was trying to figure out whether Ty was joking. “My mistake,” he finally settled for. “I’ll see you Tuesday.”

“Will do. Have a great weekend.”

He watched Miller until the man left his office, then tabbed back to his test results. Ty sucked his teeth and hesitated, then took the plunge and double-clicked the message.

H
e was still whistling
when he went to collect Phoebe from the bus stop. It seemed to have the weirdest side effect.

Fewer people crossed the street to get away from him.

He smiled easily when people looked his way and they didn’t all run a mile. Some even smiled back at him, said hi, or commented on the lovely sunshine.

He could get
used
to this!

When the bus stopped and Phoebe hopped off, he scooped her up onto his shoulders and bounced her along down the street, and she laughed as she held on tight.

“How’d you feel about Alex coming over this evening, Boo?”

“Can we play games?” She enthused.

“Of course.”

“Will he bring Val?”

He laughed. “Of course.”

“Can he read tonight’s chapter?”

“Woah.” Ty blinked. “Well, if he wants to. But then how’m I gonna know whether Harry manages to get this Slughorn guy’s memory or not?”

“Well, you can listen too,” Phoebe declared.

He grunted at her. “Thanks. You are a kind and beneficent overlord.”

She laughed with glee. “What’s beneficent?”

“Generous, neighborly, that kind of thing.”

“Okay.” She wiggled her feet. “I’ll take it.”

“I better get him to pack an overnight bag, if he’s staying late enough to read to you.”

“And some dog food!”

He burst out laughing and carried her back to the shop.

A
lex came
over for dinner and Ty made risotto. He left the chicken out and put egg in for protein instead, since he’d seen Alex eat egg at the Korean place.

They played games, and when the time came for Phoebe to go to bed, Alex happily read a chapter to her while Ty sat by his side and held his hand. And once that was done, he led Alex to his bedroom with an arm around his waist.

Alex stepped in and looked around the room, and Ty had a sudden pang of empathy for what it must’ve been like to have Ty check out Alex’s bedroom.

Bedrooms were private spaces. Inner sanctums. They were usually where someone would surround themselves with their favorite things, whether it was the color of the drapes or the pictures on the walls. Alex’s bedroom was bigger than this, neat and tidy, but still with plenty of his space geek stuff laying around so that it felt personal.

Ty’s bedroom could’ve belonged to a hotel. He kept it bare, with cream walls and the dull red carpet which was already fitted when he got the place. He used to think that was an old military habit to live this minimally, but now he suspected it was something else.

“Haven’t settled here yet?” Alex murmured as he looked up to Ty.

Ty clicked his tongue. It had taken Alex seconds to figure out what Ty had hidden from himself for two years. “I guess not,” he admitted.

Alex just nodded, then leaned up to kiss him softly. “You sure you don’t mind if I stay the night?”

“Reckon you can help me settle just fine,” Ty rumbled. “Got my results.”

“Oh?” Alex’s cheeks reddened, and his gaze turned bright. “So did I…”

“Guess we know what we’re doing all night, then.” Ty laughed and picked Alex up, then tossed him down on the bed and climbed on after him.

Alex’s little wriggle was intoxicating. He had this way of tipping his head, of raising his chest, that managed to bypass everything conscious in Ty’s existence and directly appeal to his cock. “Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Edwards?”

“Do I need to seduce you?” Ty leaned in and kissed him, savoring the warmth of his mouth, the eagerness of his tongue. He felt for Alex’s buttons and eased each one free slowly to avoid fumbling them.

“Nuh uh,” Alex mumbled into his mouth. His glasses fogged slowly along the lower edges. His breathing came quickly as Ty felt his way down his soft chest until he felt the light downy trickle of hairs below Alex’s belly button.

He grinned and nibbled on Alex’s lip, and unfastened the attorney’s fly. He pushed material aside as he searched, and the moment his fingers brushed against Alex’s cock he felt a jolt of need spark through all the way to his own.

Alex moaned softly and reached down to push his pants down.

Ty closed his hand around Alex’s cock, and finally broke away from the kiss. He wanted to see this, to watch the silken flesh in his hand grow hard under his ministrations, so he rolled to the left and lay on his side, propped up by one elbow as he began to stroke slowly, gently.

“Ohhh, Ty.” Alex took his glasses off and lay them aside as his hips lifted faintly. “Yeah… Yeah, that’s good.”

“Yeah?” Ty smiled. “How about this?” He gave a little squeeze as his hand reached the base, finger and thumb circled around it.

“Uh huh!” Alex panted. His hips jerked.

His cock twitched and grew firmer.

Ty leaned closer and pressed kisses against Alex’s shoulder. The view from here was almost like looking down at his own cock, and he adjusted his grasp so that it looked more natural from this angle.

“Jesus, fuck!” Alex bucked in his hand and stiffened until his dick was both hard and yet still touchably soft at the same time.

It wasn’t dissimilar from his own, yet it was a world apart. When he stroked it, all he could feel was the meatiness in his palm and the intoxicating sense of power that came from holding another man’s most sensitive, most protected part in his hand. He couldn’t feel that immediate feedback, the tremors in his gut, the tightening of his balls.

But Alex felt them. He moaned and gasped, he whimpered and he writhed. He began to thrust against Ty’s fist, and his hands caressed Ty’s forearm.

Ty raised his head to watch. Every little twitch Alex made, every gasp, every flex of his fingers or curving of his spine was a message, and Ty didn’t have long to decode each one if he wanted to learn which motions were Alex’s favorite.

“Ty,” Alex gasped. His head tipped toward Ty, and his gaze was desperate. “Ty, if you keep this up, I… I’m…”

“You’re gonna come for me, huh?” Ty kissed him briefly. “Is that what you’re gonna do?”

Alex bucked like a fish out of water. “Fuck,” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” Ty grinned with satisfaction. “You’re gonna come for me right now, and then you’re gonna put those pretty little lips on my cock, ain’t’cha? You wanna suck me off?”

“Oh, fuck yes!” Alex’s eyes were wild.

Ty felt the heat in his hand, and he bent in to kiss Alex as he bucked and cried out. He closed his mouth around his lover’s and took Alex’s cries into his own lungs as the cock in his hand throbbed and pulsed with every spurt. After the fifth he felt the hot cum land against his thumb, and he groaned softly.

He had Alex’s cock in his hand, the man’s seed on his skin, and the last whimpers of his orgasm buffetting against Ty’s tongue.

Fuck
it was hot.

He stilled his hand and raised his head from the kiss to look Alex in the eye. His lover’s gaze was unfocused, his features lined with sweat and creased into a weak, senseless grin.

Ty had done this. With his hand, he had undone all of Alex’s composure and left him basking in pleasure.

He allowed himself a moment’s smugness, then he gently released Alex’s dick and looked down at the mess they’d made.

“Shit,” Alex breathed.

Ty chuckled. “You’re a sexy bastard, you know.”

“And you’re a naughty one,” Alex mumbled. “God. Gimme a moment. I’m almost ready. I’ll be able to move…” he waved a hand vaguely, “any time now.”

“I could do that,” Ty rumbled. He cleaned his hand against Alex’s hip, then unfastened his own pants. “Or I could hold you down and fuck your mouth.”

Alex’s eyelids fluttered and his breath quickened. “Oh God, yeah.”

Ty rolled aside long enough to shuck his pants. He pulled his shirt off over his head rather than mess around with it. Then he straddled Alex’s hips and took his own cock in hand.

The pearlescent trail up Alex’s chest held a sharp fascination for him. He pressed down and traced the head of his dick through it, and groaned at the intensely erotic sensation.

Alex lifted his head enough to stare at Ty’s cock, and that delicate tongue darted out to wet his lips.

The sight of Alex right here, so ready, so eager to suck him, and looking so very much like Ty had imagined he would made Ty grunt in anticipation, and he leaned up to take Alex’s wrists in his hands and fix them in place against the pillows.

Alex wriggled gamely, testing the hold, but Ty didn’t allow him any leeway.

Or time.

He walked forward on his knees and lowered himself until his cock fell across Alex’s lips.

“Here,” he growled roughly. “Take it.”

Alex’s tongue slipped free again, and this time he lapped along the length of Ty’s slit, blue eyes bright with hunger as he gazed up.

“Oh, fuck,” Ty snarled.

The sight was unbelievable. It was at once everything Ty had imagined and yet nothing at all like it. Ty had gotten the look right, the beautiful eyes and the delicate lips.

But he’d way underestimated how it would feel.

Alex enveloped in him heat. Wet, powerful heat. His head bobbed as he took steadily more and more of Ty’s cock into him. Every little suck, each pass of his tongue, the hollowing of his cheeks, the movement of his jaw… It all combined into something unreal, something irresistible.

And then Alex did
something,
and Ty almost lost it. He stared down and caught a wicked gleam in the attorney’s eye, and then Alex damn well did it
again
.

He was swallowing. God damn it the muscles of his
throat
were clamping down on Ty’s cock head and fucking milking him.

“Ahh! You… little… fucking… minx!” Ty thrust against him, but he couldn’t go much longer. His nuts were about to let go.