Guardian of the Gate (28 page)

I give up trying to wrap my head around the nuances and politics of the island. There is simply not time to decipher such arcane rules and customs.

“What are my options, Dimitri? All of them.”

He takes a deep breath, as if needing extra air for the conversation ahead. “There are only three, really: You may accept the role that is rightfully yours and appoint someone to lead in your stead until you can return. You may accept the role and stay to lead now, though this would mean someone else will have to retrieve the missing pages on your behalf. You may refuse the position.”

Chewing my lower lip, I worry over the different alternatives. There is a part of me that wants to renounce the position now. To remove it from my consciousness so that I might concentrate on finding the missing pages. But there is another
part, the still practical and thinking part, that recognizes now is not a time for rash decisions.

“What will happen if I renounce it now?”

His answer is simple. “It will go to Ursula in lieu of Alice who, in violation of the Grigori’s laws, is not eligible to assume the position.”

Ursula. Just the name causes me disquiet. She may be a strong and wise leader for all I know, but I have learned to trust my instincts, and I am not prepared to entrust something as important as the future of Altus, something to which Aunt Abigail devoted herself wholly, to someone who causes me such unease. No. If I am the rightful Lady, the Grigori will do as I ask if it is in the interest of the island.

And somehow, I’m certain that it is.

I look up at Dimitri, resolve hardening within me. “I neither accept nor reject the position.”

He shakes his head. “That is not one of the options, Lia.”

“It will have to be.” I straighten my shoulders. “I am the rightful Lady, and I am being dispatched to find the missing pages on behalf of the Sisterhood. Since I cannot be in two places at once or be expected to fully concentrate on the journey before me with a role as important as Lady hanging over my head, I request a deferment as well.”

I turn, pacing the ground leading away from him a few feet before turning back. The more I think about it, the stronger I feel. “I appoint the Grigori to lead in my stead until I have safely retrieved the pages.”

“It has never been done,” Dimitri says simply.

“Then perhaps now is the time.”

I find Luisa in the library, illuminated in a soft pool of light from a nearby desk lamp. As I note the dark curls that spill against her ivory cheekbones, it hits me that tomorrow, for the first time since we left for Altus, I will be without her companionship. How I will miss her quick wit and good humor.

“Luisa.” I try to say it softly to avoid startling her, but I needn’t have worried. When she looks up, her face is a sea of calm.

She rises, smiling softly and making her way across the room. Her arms close around me, and for a moment, we do nothing but stand in the embrace of friendship. When she pulls away, she studies my face before speaking.

“Are you all right?”

“I think so.” I smile at her. “I’ve come to say goodbye. We’re leaving very early in the morning.”

She returns my smile sadly. “I won’t bother asking where you are going. I know you cannot speak of it. Instead, I will simply promise that I shall stay here and look after Sonia while you find the pages. We’ll be very efficient then, won’t we? And we’ll be together again in London in no time.”

I want to leave now, while we are both in good humor and feeling hopeful about the future, at least outwardly. But I know I will not rest easy if I do not say something about this morning.

I sigh. “I
want
to trust Sonia again.”

“Of course you do. And you will.” She steps forward to wrap me in a fierce embrace. “Trust will come in time, Lia, as all things do. Now is not the time to worry over Sonia. I will do that for you while you’re away. Just focus on your own safety and the journey ahead. Find the pages. We will manage the rest when you return.”

We cling to the bond of our friendship a moment more, and all the while I try to blot out the unspoken response forming in the back of my mind:
if I return, Luisa. If.

I can hardly breathe for the suspense. A full hour has passed since saying goodbye to Luisa, and as I sit on my bed waiting for Dimitri, anxiety over the Grigori’s decision winds my nerves so tightly I feel they will snap at any moment.

A soft rap at the door comes none too soon. I cross the room to open it, and it is no surprise that Dimitri is standing in its frame. He steps inside without prompting.

I do not speak until the door is closed behind him. Then I can wait no longer.

“What did they say?”

He puts his hands on my shoulders, and for a moment, I fear he will say they have refused. I fear he will say a decision must be made now. One that will be forever binding.

Thankfully, he does not.

“They have agreed, Lia.” He smiles, shaking his head. “I can hardly believe it, but they have agreed to give us both a
deferment. It was not easy, but I was able to convince them that you should not be penalized for working on behalf of the prophecy and I should not be penalized for acting as your escort when Lady Abigail bid it done.”

Relief washes my anxiety clean. “They will give us until after the pages are found?”

“Better,” he says.

“Better?” I cannot imagine what could be better.

He nods. “They will defer it all until after the prophecy itself is resolved, provided you continue to work to its end. If you should change your mind… If you should act as Gate, the position will be given to Ursula.”

I shake my head. “That will not happen.”

“
I
know that, Lia.”

I turn from him, trying to wrap my head around such a swift change in the Grigori’s position. “Why would they make such an agreement if it is so unprecedented?”

He sighs, and his eyes drift to the corner of the room as if seeking escape.

“Just tell me, Dimitri.” Weariness weighs heavily on my voice.

His eyes find mine once again. “They figure the fates will decide; if you end the prophecy, you will make the decision as is your right. If you fail…”

“If I fail?”

“If you fail, it will be because you have either succumbed as Gate… or because you have not survived the prophecy at all.”

It is still dark when Una wakes me the next morning.

My heart sinks when she hands me a stack of folded clothing and I realize it is the laundered riding breeches and shirt I wore on the way to Altus. I have grown used to the silk robe while on the isle. I have grown used to many things.

While I wash and dress, Una adds enough food and drink to my knapsack to get Dimitri and me to our first stop. I have already packed my arrows and dagger for the journey. Though I know that Dimitri will be by my side for added protection, Sonia’s betrayal was a reminder that it is best to rely on oneself, just in case.

I can think of nothing else I need.

I am comforted by the heat of the adder stone against my skin. It slips easily beneath my shirt, and as I adjust the sleeves, my eyes come to rest on the medallion, still around my wrist.
I have considered leaving it in the care of the Grigori, the Sisters, even Una herself, but I cannot bring myself to believe there is anyone I might trust with the medallion. Not after what happened with Sonia.

Una follows my gaze, glancing down at my wrist. “Is everything all right?”

I nod, buttoning the front of my shirt.

“Would you…” She hesitates before continuing. “Would you prefer to leave the medallion here? I would keep it for you, Lia, if it would help.”

I chew my lower lip, considering her offer though I have been over the subject many times over. “May I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

I tuck the shirt into my breeches as I consider my words. “Can those of you on Altus — the Grigori, the Brothers, the other Sisters… can you be tempted by the Souls?”

She turns, walking to the small writing table behind her and lifting something from its surface. “Not the Grigori’s Council. Not ever. The Brothers and Sisters, well… not in the way you and Alice can. You are the Guardian and the Gate, and because of that, you are far more vulnerable to the Souls.”

“I sense there is something you’re not telling me, Una.”

Turning from the writing table, she makes her way back to me with something in her arms. “I’m not keeping anything from you intentionally. It is simply not easy to explain. You see, a Brother or Sister would not have direct influence over the Souls’ ability to cross into this world or over Samael’s fate.
But the Souls can tempt the Brothers or Sisters to work on their behalf — to influence those with more power.”

Like Sonia and Luisa
.

“Has this ever happened here on the island?” I ask her.

She sighs, and I can see that it pains her to continue. “There have been… incidents. Times when someone has been caught trying to influence the course of events in aid to the Souls. But it doesn’t happen often.” This last is added in a rush, as if she wants to reassure me despite the knowledge that is anything but reassuring.

And it is just as I thought. Just as I knew. There is no one whom I may trust with the medallion. No one but myself, and even that I sometimes doubt when I feel the pull of it on my wrist.

I button the sleeves of my shirt, covering up the sliver of black velvet.

Una’s gaze drops to my wrist. “I’m sorry, Lia.”

Ridiculously, I feel the sting of tears once again, and I try to gather my composure by turning to look at the room that has been mine while at the Sanctuary. I commit to memory the simple stone walls, the warmth of the well-worn floor, the smell both musty and sweet. I do not know if I will ever see it, any of it, again.

I want to remember it always.

Finally I turn to Una. She smiles, holding something out to me.

“For me?”

She nods. “I wanted you to have something… something to remember all of us and your time on Altus.”

I take the object from her arms, surprised at its softness, and shake it out. My throat goes dry with emotion as the violet silk unfurls. It is a riding cape made of the very same fabric as the Sisters’ formal robes.

Una must take my touched silence to mean something else, for she breaks in hurriedly. “I know you did not care for the robes when you first came to us, but I simply…” She looks down at her hands, sighing when she looks up to meet my eyes once again. “I simply want you to remember us, Lia. I have grown used to your friendship.”

I lean in to embrace her.

“Thank you, Una. For the cape and your friendship. Somehow, I know we will meet again.” I pull back to look at her with a smile. “I will never be able to thank you enough for taking care of Aunt Abigail in her final days. For taking care of me. I shall miss you terribly.”

I pick up my bow and knapsack and tie the cape around my neck, wondering if I will ever have the heart to take it off. Then, as it seems I always must, I turn to leave.

The island is lit only by torches along the path as Dimitri, Edmund, and I make our way from the Sanctuary down to the harbor. I have only the vaguest recollection of landing there when we arrived on Altus. Those first moments on solid ground are nothing but a blur followed by the two lost days when I did nothing but sleep.