Guardian's Hope (17 page)

Canaan wrapped his arms around his mate, her
back to his chest. He nuzzled her ear. “So, what do
you
think is happening?”

“No speculating,” she said firmly. She
wiggled her rear end. “Why don’t we go to bed, big boy? So I can
demonstrate.”

Chapter 16

They kissed again and it was longer and
lovelier than the first time. He kissed her throat, her ears, her
eyes and Hope had never felt anything more wonderful. Suddenly he
bent, one arm crooked behind her knees and she stiffened.

“You can’t. I’m too…” He kissed away her
protest as he lifted her into his arms.

“We had this conversation the first time we
met,” Nico said against her lips. “I can, you aren’t and I
will.”

He settled into the oversized arm chair with
Hope in his lap. Her legs hung over one arm while her back was
supported against the other. She rested her head on his shoulder
and tilted her face up to his, waiting to be kissed again.

“You like this, don’t you?” he chuckled.

“Oh yes,” she answered honestly. “It makes me
all quivery inside. Does that always happen when you kiss
someone?”

“No,” he answered quickly, “So there’s no
need to go out experimenting.” He kissed her again and she wasn’t
the only one quivering inside. His jeans were tight against his
crotch. She ran the tip of her tongue over his neck, pausing at the
pulse points.

“Are you sure you’ve never done this
before?”

“Never. Though when I was sixteen there was a
boy I might have…” She suddenly looked deflated, “…if things had
been different.”

“Tell me,” he said quietly.

“No.” She shook her head. “It was a long time
ago and it doesn’t matter now.” She smiled up at him, but the
sadness was still in her eyes. She tried to kiss him again but he
held her away.

“Tell me.”

She sighed, defeated. She refused to look at
him while she spoke. “One summer we needed a new dry well and my
father hired two boys from church to dig it. One’s name was Henry.
He was seventeen, a year older than me. We’d gone to school
together though Henry left at fourteen to help out at the farm. I
hadn’t seen him much since he left or maybe I had and just didn’t
notice. Anyway, in that time he’d changed. A lot.” She stopped and
closed her eyes.

“I’m listening,” he said, holding her closer
when he felt her tense.

“All afternoon, every time I came outdoors,
Henry smiled at me and I smiled back. It was hot and the boys had
taken off their shirts. They were soaked in sweat. I brought them a
glass of lemonade and sat in the rocker on the porch to enjoy my
own glass.” She gave a little shrug. “And the view. Henry looked so
strong and handsome and I wondered what it would be like to be
kissed by him. I guess I daydreamed a little and it must have shown
on my face because when my father came up on the porch – I hadn’t
even heard him – he slapped me. He called me a Jezebel and said
horrible and embarrassing things. He ran the boys off. Later, he
beat me with his belt and locked me in my room. The next day, two
older men came to finish the job.”

“And Henry?”

She smiled and laughed a little. “Oh, Henry
eventually married Susan Pike and they had three children. He’s a
good man.”

“A good man?” Nico asked through gritted
teeth, “He didn’t stop the bastard, did he?”

“Ah, Nico, Henry was only a boy. He was
afraid of my father. Most people are.”

At seventeen, Nico had killed a man, the
first of many.

“Your father has a lot to answer for. It was
his duty to protect you, love you, not beat you.”

He kissed her again and this time it was
different, soft and tender, as if he wanted to heal the wounds of
her past with his lips. He was so gentle, stroking her hair and
running his thumb across her cheek. This was what it felt like to
be loved.

After a time the kiss deepened, became more
demanding and Hope reveled in it. She could feel his thoughts, his
needs, his wants. Images, half formed, flowed through her mind.
Suddenly she squeaked, sat upright and scrambled to her feet.

“People don’t really d-do that, do they?” She
backed away slowly until her legs hit the chair opposite. She
sat.

Nico hung his head and rubbed at his eyes
with his hands. His shoulders were shaking. He looked up at Hope
and sucked in his cheeks.

“You’re laughing at me.”

“No,” he said soberly and then the corners of
his mouth curled up, “All right, yes. If you don’t want to see
what’s in my mind, you need to control your snooping. You haven’t
told Manon about it yet, have you? No? I thought not.”

Hope sat across from him, knees held tightly
together, hands folded primly in her lap, so different from the
passionate woman she’d been a few minutes before. She looked
uncomfortable, clearly alarmed and he took pity.

“I want you, fully and completely, but not
until you’re ready,” he told her gently.

“That’s good, because it’s going to be a long
time before I’ll be ready to do that.” Almost every image had her
naked.

He smiled, reached for her hand, and was
relieved when she didn’t draw back.

“Just because something’s in my head, doesn’t
mean we have to do it. We’ll take this a step at a time. When
you’re comfortable with one step, we’ll go on to the next. Now,
what did you bring me for supper?” Because I really need to get my
mind off my crotch.

Hope turned with the plate. “I heard
that.”

“I hope not. Just pass the plate.”

She laughed. He ate. She laughed some
more.

“What?”

“I’m happy.”

“You’re watching me eat a roast beef
sandwich.”

“I know. It’s silly, isn’t it?” She curled
her feet beneath her in the chair. “I was unhappy at home. You’ll
think it foolish, but I didn’t know that until I left. I thought
that was the way life was and I made the best of it. Then I ran
away and Lenny took me in and I wasn’t unhappy anymore. Then I came
here and I’ve been content. To be content is a wonderful thing when
you’re used to unhappiness.”

“And then,” he said as he picked up the
second sandwich.

“And then what?”

“You said you were happy. That’s not the same
as content.”

“Oh that,” she laughed again, “I thought that
was understood. And then you kissed me.”

He wanted to kiss her again. Her eyes widened
at his thought, but he shook his head. Now that she was in the
chair across from him, not touching him, he could think.

“We need to use our heads. No matter how good
this feels right now; in the end it isn’t right. Someone like me
with someone like you, it won’t work.”

“I know,” she said and looked down at her
hands folded peacefully in her lap, “You’re handsome,
sophisticated, a man of the world and I’m… me. But if you’ll let me
be happy with you for a little while, I’ll be content for the rest
of my life.”

She looked up and he was kneeling on the
floor in front of her, lifting her chin with his fingers.

“You mistake me, Hope.” He hooked an errant
curl behind her ear and she leaned into his hand. “Some say the
Paenitentia have no souls, some say we can earn them back, some say
our souls were never lost. For me, it doesn’t matter. My future
lies in Hell. I was forsaken the day I was born and I’ve sinned
beyond redemption. Why I still carry the skull and tears is a
mystery I question every waking.” He laid his head down in her lap
and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Better than you? I’m not
worth the dirt beneath your feet. You’re everything that’s good,
Hope, beautiful and precious. You can’t stay with me. If you do,
I’ll drag you down with me when I finally sail into the depths of
Hell.”

She stroked his hair as if he were a small
boy and he felt her tears strike his cheek.

“I won’t let you fall, Nico,” she whispered,
“I’ll be your anchor and hold you to the shore.”

*****

The next evening, Grace fairly bounced with
anticipation.

“You got it, Hope. Move that baby across the
table.”

Hope stared at the pewter mug, concentrating
intensely. She moved her hand and the mug inched to the right.
Another hand movement and the mug inched to the left. She lowered
her hand, breathed a sigh of relief and grinned.

“I did it. I made it move and it didn’t fly
off on its own. I kept control.”

“That’s great, sweetie. Yeah, just great.”
But Grace didn’t sound happy. She was staring at Manon who returned
the stare with a sly smile and her Gallic shrug.

“What’s going on?”

Manon raised her eyebrows at Grace. “Hope has
asked a question. We told her we would answer anything that she
asked. I believe this one is yours.”

Grace wrinkled her nose at Manon. “Not
without coffee.” She got out the mugs and filled the carafe. “And
donuts, lots and lots of donuts.” A plateful followed. “Maybe you’d
rather have coffee cake. I could make one. Won’t take but a
minute.”

“Grace.”

“Okay,” she said slowly and then in a rush,
“You can’t come fully into your powers if you’re still a virgin.
You’ve been moping around like a lost lamb and Nico’s playing the
bear hibernating in his den and I thought if we got the two of you
alone, together I mean, you’d both see what everyone else sees and
get it on or get it off, as the case may be, and you’d get your
powers and Nico would stay on after his contract’s up and everyone
would be happy. Manon said you weren’t ready, but I thought you
just needed a little push. Apparently I was wrong. Are you really,
really mad?”

Hope had her mug of coffee half way to her
lips. She stared at Grace. “My mind stopped at ‘still a virgin’.”
She winced at the word.

“I know. I choked on that one, too. Manon
wanted me to go out and grab the first guy that offered, but I held
out for Canaan.” She looked meaningfully at Manon. “Unlike some
Daughters.”

Manon’s laughter echoed in the kitchen. “You,
young woman, are trying to change the subject from you to me.” She
smiled at Hope. “I did not give up my virginity to some passing
stranger. Jean Marc Baptiste was a delightful young man and I loved
him deeply. I thought we would spend our lives together in the
little village we were born in. It was spring and everything was in
bloom. Heaven was only a step away from the front door of my
mother’s cottage and Hell was only a story told by the priests on
Sunday morning. The banns had been read and the wedding
planned.”

“What happened?”

“Hell came to the village. The Plague. It was
the end of Jean Marc and almost everyone I knew.” Again with the
Gallic shrug. “It was a long time ago. I can now remember him
fondly and without pain.”

Hope nodded her sympathy and reached out to
take the older woman’s hand. “I’m sure Jean Marc was wonderful and
his loss must have been awful, but if you’d married him and never
left the village, you never would have found Uncle Otto.”

“All things happen for a reason, heh?”

“Tell me again, Grace, slowly,” Hope ordered
and after Grace repeated herself, “So, if I understand you
correctly, everyone in this House conspired to get Nico and me
together. Now, everyone thinks I slept with him yesterday.”

Grace picked at the sprinkles on her donut.
“Yep, that’s about it.” She didn’t lift her eyes.

Manon looked from one to the other, eyebrows
raised. “I think something else needs to be said.”

“Thank you.”

“Sorry.”

Grace reared back. “Hey, you said thank you
before I said sorry. How come?”

Hope smiled shyly. “I’d never have gone to
him, if you hadn’t set it up.” She tapped her chest over her heart.
“I’d never have found him, if it weren’t for you. I’d have watched
from a distance as he passed me by thinking he was doing me a
favor.”

“So it worked out okay?”

“Oh yes,” Hope replied dreamily.

“But no…?” Grace did a little happy dance
with her hands.

“No. Only kissing. He’s a very good kisser,
you know.”

Grace gave an unladylike snort. “Like you
have a lot to compare him to.”

Hope felt the flush rise to her cheeks, but
she laughed as well. It was nice having friends to talk to and
share secrets with. She trusted these women and that made her
brave.

“From what heard, I don’t think you can throw
stones,” she teased in return. “I grew up in farm country. At least
I know what goes where.”

“Well, will you listen to Miss
Butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-her-mouth? What did you hear and who said
it? As if I have to ask.”

They were all laughing now.

“Dov and Col talk a lot and when they see me
turn red, they babble even more.”

“Don’t listen to them! If they think it
embarrasses you, they’ll make things up just to keep you going.”
Grace took a bite of donut and washed it down with coffee. “I
wasn’t completely ignorant. I read, too, you know. Oh, not the
snooty stuff you and the Professor read. I read the good stuff.
Hot, racy romance novels. May not be as good as the real thing, but
hoo-boy, you can still learn a lot from those books.”

Hope didn’t hesitate. “Do you have any I can
borrow?”

Chapter 17

The Guardians were gathered around the new
conference table set up at one end of the new tech center. There
was no sign the room had once been their den or Back Room as it had
been called. The pictures and posters had been replaced with charts
and bulletin boards, the walls painted a soft green, the fireplace
boarded over. With all the new equipment and temperature control,
Nardo didn’t want additional heat, not to mention smoke. It looked
like what it was; a totally modern computer lab despite the high
ceiling, ornate woodwork and the tall old fashioned windows with
their panes blacked out against the sun.