Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3)
Read Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3) Online
Authors: L. L. Collins
Guarding Hearts
Copyright © LL Collins 2014
All Rights Reserved
Cover Design by Kari Ayasha at Cover to Cover Designs
Photography by Brad Olson at Brad Olson Photography
Interior Design by Angela McLaurin, Fictional Formats
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No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Contact Author LL Collins
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This book is dedicated to my mom Krista, who has always and still to this day continues to tell everyone that I’m a genius. She’s the epitome of a bragging mother. She, of course, has now started using the same phrase to describe my two boys. Thanks for always believing in my dreams.
He sat, still as stone, transfixed on the beady eyes of the judge that was about to deliver his fate. From his right he heard a small cry, and his gaze immediately swung from the judge to look at him. He didn’t look at Mandy. He couldn’t. The baby kicked his feet as she put a bottle in his mouth, and tears filled Ellis’ eyes without warning. He gripped the cheap suit he was wearing to keep from getting up and going to Mason. He wasn’t allowed to touch him. The fact that she brought him here today was just to torture him, to remind him again that he had royally screwed up.
His eyes slid up to hers and he searched them for any sign that she might call this whole thing off. What he saw there was exactly what he predicted. She enjoyed every second of this. The small smirk playing on her lips made his gut clench. This wasn’t someone’s life to her, it was a game. She knew she was going to win and he would never see him again.
“Ellis,” his attorney whispered from his other side. When Ellis didn’t respond, his gaze locked on the two people he knew he’d never see again after this day, he whispered it a little louder.
Blinking his eyes, Ellis forced himself to look at the attorney that was probably fresh out of law school and being forced to help worthless trash like him. His mother wasn’t even here, but that wasn’t a surprise. She was off getting high somewhere. She could care less what happened to him. There was no one in this room that cared about him.
“Keep your eyes off them, buddy. It’ll only make it worse.” Ellis didn’t know how this day could possibly get any worse. He knew he screwed up. It was the way he did things. What else could anyone expect when he grew up the bastard child of another screw up? But this time, he didn’t mean it. When he had ended up in juvie, he knew he deserved it and didn’t care. It was better than being at home. This time, though, he knew he would leave his heart in this courtroom today. He would never be the same again.
Stealing one more glance over at the two of them, Ellis turned his attention back just as the judge started speaking. Taking a shaky breath, he wished he could crumple on the floor and cry, beg the judge not to do this, not to let her do this to him. But he was a man, and he couldn’t. He forced his eyes to the judge, squirming as the man delivered his fate.
“In the case of Ellis Warner vs. Mandy Wright, to determine parental rights of the minor child, Mason Wright, I have come to a decision. There has been an overwhelming amount of evidence here, as well as testimony. Due to the past of the father, Ellis Warner, the lack of support he has, as well as the disturbing events that brought us to this point, it is my final decision that the best interest of this child is to remain with his mother. Ellis Warner, your parental rights are hereby terminated. You are to have no contact with Ms. Wright or your son in any capacity. It is as if they no longer exist on this earth. I would suggest that you get your life straight, son, and move on. You have a sentence to fulfill and some community service after that. You still have a chance at having a life, if you choose to turn it around. You’re only seventeen. Let this be a learning experience for you.”
Ellis pressed his lips together so he didn’t cry, but his eyes filled with tears anyway. He knew that this was going to be the outcome, but hearing it made pain radiate throughout his body. He couldn’t help it; he had to look at Mandy again. One tear dripped down his cheek as his eyes met hers. She looked away quickly as Mason squirmed in her arms. Ellis looked at his baby boy for the last time. His dark hair, the same as his, his little chunky body. He knew that, behind his closed eyelids, his eyes matched his as well, green with blue in them. He would never know what would become of his son, and maybe that was for the best. Ellis knew he wasn’t any better than his deadbeat father, or his drug addicted mother. He was worthless. Mason would be better off without him.
“Let’s go,” the bailiff announced from behind him, making him jump. He was going back to be locked up, but none of it mattered. He was dead inside anyway. Today was just the final blow. He looked over his shoulder one more time to see Mandy watching him, Mason asleep on her shoulder.
Past…
The officer opened the door, allowing him to pass. He was handcuffed with his hands together in the front. Another officer walked behind him until all three of them were in the room. It was cold, so cold. Ellis looked anywhere except where he knew he would be forced to look. He concentrated instead on the hands of the officer as he unlocked the cuffs.
Shaking out his hands, the officer met his eyes. He saw sympathy in his eyes, and it angered him. He didn’t need anyone feeling sorry for him. He wanted to scream obscenities from the top of his lungs and tell her how much he hated her. He wanted to tell her all the things he never had the nerve to say. How if she had loved him, she would’ve never left him starving to death so she could take the last of her money to get high. She would’ve never slept for days, not caring if he went to school or had a bath or if he was even home or not. And she wouldn’t have brought countless men through their welfare-grade apartment so she could get her fix. Never once in his life did he remember her saying she loved him. But he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
Of course, it was his fault. Because he existed, her life had gone to shit. She had told him that so many times, he could hear every syllable like she was standing right in front of him. She never wanted him, she was stuck with him. He looked just like his piece of shit father. And since he had been locked up, having walked right down the path his mom had laid out for him, she had finally done it. This was it. He hadn’t been around to make sure she didn’t take too much, disappear for too long. Now, he was officially alone. He had no idea who his father was, only that he looked like him and had his last name. She had been estranged from her family for longer than Ellis had been alive, and he had no idea who they were, either. He was seventeen years old, and wished for nothing more than to be in this room with her. He was cold, dead inside anyway.