Guided Love (Prick #1) (36 page)

She smiles and nods and we start to walk out the room while Axel just stands there and watches us head down the hallway. I get her settled, close her door, and lock it now that the lock is on the outside, as we can't risk her getting out and falling down the stairs. I walk into the kitchen and see Axel still standing in the same spot that I left him.

“Axel, you okay?”

“It’s just hard to see her like that. She looks so weak and lost. Thank you for helping. She wouldn’t get dressed in the morning for me.”

“It’s no problem. I am here now, alright. We are going to get through this.”

He starts to break and I can't stop myself from wrapping my arms around him. He tries to be strong, he is a rock to everyone around him, but this . . . this is breaking him and I want to take all of this pain away, I do. But all I can do is stand here in Ellie's kitchen, in his childhood kitchen, and hug him and let him break.

Everything is still a bit up in the air right now. Gabby is now helping out at Two Pricks with the front desk and some of the paper work. I took her down there the afternoon that I went to Ellie's. Everyone was so happy to see me, yet were all worried about Ellie. Gabby hit it off with everyone and Carrie is extremely happy to add another name to her checklist. Camaron wasn't there when we arrived but I did see that he had a paperback of my book in a frame hanging on the wall in his workstation. It’s great to see that he was proud of what I did. I hung around for a while but he never showed and Carrie said he probably wouldn’t, since he was back together with Roni.

When Gabby and I left, we picked up a pizza and took it back to Ellie's since she was already in bed, and if I knew Axel, he hadn't eaten. It was actually peaceful during dinner and after discussing it, since Axel was staying with Ellie to care for her, he offered Gabby and me his apartment, for the time being, so we didn't have to rent a hotel room. There was an extra bedroom at Ellie’s and after a few days of driving from the shop, I decide that I, too, would stay at Ellie's, since I was giving her care round the clock.

Axel would help in the mornings, schedule his appointments until six, and then head back so that he could have dinner with Ellie and me. I pretty much had Ellie on a schedule, getting her out of bed in the morning and dressed for the day. Axel and I dance around the kitchen during breakfast—sometimes she recognizes us. But I have noticed, those times are getting few and far between. During the afternoon, Ellie stays in her room either looking out at the garden or taking a nap. Today, though, she wanted to sit on the couch and watch some television. I take this time to write and Jessica, my personal assistant, keeps me on point, reminding me that my release is coming up and that I have to get this book done so I can get it to editing on time. I love my assistant, she really is the best but dang, she is more anal with dates and times and not budging on moving a date back. It’s Friday afternoon and I am pounding away at the keyboard when I hear a knock at the door.

I check to make sure Ellie is all right sitting on the couch—she hasn't even realized that there is someone at the door. I open the door to see Camaron standing there. I thought that when I saw him again, in person, that I would melt like I always have. But this time, all I see is Camaron—just Camaron. The boy that was my friend. My heart doesn't race and there are no butterflies taking off in my stomach. For the first time in my life I see Camaron as just . . . my friend.

“Wow, Sam, you look great,”

“Hey, Camaron. Come on in.”

I walk towards the kitchen, passing Ellie on the way. She doesn't even look up, not even when Camaron says hello—she just sits there and watches I Love Lucy and is in her own little world.

“Sam, I can't get over your new look. Babe, you look great.”

“Thanks, Camaron.”

“I was at the shop today and saw Gabby. She said you were here helping out with Ellie. Why didn't you call or text me to let me know that you were here? I would have come sooner.”

I grab two waters from the refrigerator and hand him one as I sit at the table. “I did call but it went to voicemail. I guess I just got really consumed with helping Ellie. When I do have some time, I am writing, because my second book is on a deadline and I need to get it done and off to editing.”

“Well, Sam, if you have things to do, let Axel hire someone to come in and help. Damn, you don't want to spread yourself too thin.”

I look at him and I want to punch him. How could he honestly say something like that?

“I can handle it, Camaron. I came here to help and that’s what I am going to do. Where have you been the last two weeks?”

I see the guilt come across his face because he doesn't want to tell me and he doesn't want to lie either. He starts to look around not making eye contact with me.

“Well . . . I took some time off, but I’m back. You staying in a hotel? You can come home, ya know.”

“Thanks, Camaron, but no, I am staying here with Ellie and Axel, while Gabby is at Axel’s until we figure out what we are going to do. It makes it easier, staying here.”

His face becomes red, he looks pissed, and he raises his voice at me. “So, what, you’re with Axel now? What the hell, Sam? You left saying that you needed to find yourself but then you come when Axel calls you?”

“Are you seriously being a dick right now, Camaron? No, Axel didn't call me and tell me he needed me. I’m friends with Axel. I talk to him more than I talk to you and you were my best friend. He told me about Ellie and, without a doubt or a second thought, I was packing my bags and heading back here to help him. Ellie took me in, Camaron, she has done a lot for me, and I bet she has done a lot for you, and you are going to stand there and question me on why I am here helping. Wow! You seriously have changed, Cam.”

“Camaron, my boy, how have you been?”

We both turn and see Ellie walking into the kitchen. I smile at the fact that she is with us again, even if that is for a few moments.

“I am good, Ma. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, sweet boy, this old lady is doing great. Why are you being so loud to my girl here? Camaron, you need to speak nicely to a beautiful woman. Like Axel, Tony taught him right. He would say, ‘treat a woman with respect, son. When you find the one you call home you will cherish her.’”

Both Camaron and I scrunch our brow as we are trying to figure out who she is talking about. Is she talking about Axel or Mr. Martinelli?

“I bet he cherished you, Ma,” Camaron replies to her.

“Oh, Tony, yes, my boy, he loved me with all that he was, the same way Axel loves.”

She then starts to hum, turns around, and walks back to the couch. I see that seeing Ellie in that state really affects Camaron. He starts to gather his water and he is about to leave. Like all of the pricks, they have a tight bond with Ellie and to see her in this state truly breaks his heart.

I walk him to the door and he pulls me into a hug. The hug that use to melt me to pieces, now I feel nothing but just a simple hug. As I pull away, Camaron notices the tattoo on my wrist. He holds it and looks down at it.

“Not only did you change your look, you got ink as well? Damn, and I thought I would be the first one that would put the ink on you. I hope you went somewhere that was reputable.” He looks at me, waiting for my answer. I smile because I am still so proud of my tattoo.

“I did. Actually, Axel gave it to me before I left to go to California.”

That was not what he wanted to hear. He drops my wrist and shakes his head as he starts to walk away. He stops and looks back at me with anger lingering in his eyes and I want to make things right.

“Camaron, there is no reason to get angry. What the hell is your problem?”

I am off the porch and in front of his face.

“Sam, you inked your body! You inked your body and I wasn't the one to do that!”

“Yeah, Camaron, I got a freaking tattoo! You have a dozen of them, what the hell?”

“You had AXEL make his mark on you, NOT ME!”

“His mark? Ya know what, Camaron? Fuck a duck! You weren't around—you screwed that up NOT me!”

Once I say that, his face falls because he knows that I’m right. I stand there, panting, and I am so mad. I’m mad that he has the nerve to try and pull the best friend card when he wasn’t there for me, he can go fuck a duck for all I care. Ugh!

“I'm sorry, Sam, you’re right. I fucked up and I have apologized for the last six fucking months. I’m sorry. If I could take it all back, I would. I just want my best friend, I want you back, Sam. I want MY Sam back. Please.”

I walk to him and look him right in the eye. “I’m here, Camaron. I am standing right here.” I guess that’s not the answer he was looking for because all he does is shake his head in agreement, turn around and walk to his car.

“Well, I may have been a dick, Sam, but I love you. You know that and I never meant to hurt you. If you don’t want your heart broken then steer clear of Axel because he doesn't settle, Sam, never has.” He gets in his car and leaves.

I know I shouldn't let his words get to me, but they do. I walk back into the house, sit down next to Ellie, and watch
I Love Lucy
.

“You know he loves you.”

I look over and Ellie is looking at me. I grab her hand and scoot closer, I really am so happy that she is with me right now.

“Ellie, you know that Camaron doesn't love me like that.”

“Oh no, my dear, I am not talking about Camaron. That boy he only loves himself right now. When he does fall in love, it will be magical.”

“Who are you talking about then?”

She starts to pat my hand and looks right into my eyes. “Axel, of course. My boy has loved you from the day he picked you up from the airport. The good thing is he loves with his soul, baby girl, and he will love you forever. I am so glad you came home.”

She looks down and pats my hand a few times and turns back to watch Lucy.

I just sit there, stunned, and reply, “I am too, Ellie.”

Dementia is a wicked, horrible disease to watch your loved one have and suffer through. You watch them struggle with everything around them. I have watched Ma go from an active, quick-witted woman, to weak and scared. I wish she would have told me about the diagnosis but she wanted to live her life with no worries and if she told me, she knows I would have worried. I was worried once they told me, but when I saw Samantha standing on the porch step, looking like the angel, all of the tightness in my chest and the worry I had disappeared. She looked at me and told me that we were going to get through this and I know we will because she is the second strongest woman I know.

When Samantha left to go back to California, things between us changed. We actually have become better friends, I would say. I talk to her every morning and every night, and, if I am being honest, she is always on my mind. I planned to talk to her about all that I want from this friendship, but then Ma had her episode and life changed. I still feel those small moments, the moments that I have her in my arms, and I just want to kiss her, consume her, but then reality comes back to life and we pull apart.

I walk into the house and see Ma and Samantha sitting on the couch, looking at photo albums. The moment Samantha hears the door, her eyes are up and looking at me. With a silent nod and a sweet smile, I know that Ma is here right now. I smile and make my way to the couch.

“Oh, my dear boy, I was just showing Sam, here, some of your childhood pictures. Do you remember when you wanted to be a cowboy and you wore those damn boots and hat all the time, even to bed? That was a fun time. And, here, when you wanted to be in the circus and you dressed up like a clown every day in the summer? He would go to each house, blow up balloons, and just hand them out. He didn't know how to do animals so each balloon he gave was always a snake.”

Samantha looks up at me and she is smiling with tears in her eyes.