Guilty Feet (11 page)

‘Apparently, yes.’

Jo looked pleased, and Libby looked forward to wiping the smug smile off her face, but she didn’t get the chance.

‘It’s over with them, isn’t it?’ she said.

Libby looked at her sharply.

‘What makes you say that?’

‘I know someone who knows Dan,’ Joanna said carefully, ‘and they told me that he is well,
single
.’

‘Single!’

Jo looked puzzled. ‘That
was
what you were going to tell me, wasn’t it?’

‘I was going to tell you that it was over between them, yes...’ She hesitated. This had thrown her off balance completely. She’d been about to explain how
she
was with Dan now, but she was worried about this ‘someone’ who was supposed to know Dan. ‘Who is this person you’ve been speaking to?’

‘I can’t tell you that,’ Joanna said firmly. ‘But they do seem to know what they’re talking about.’

Libby’s mind was racing.

‘When did you speak to them?’

‘Yesterday,’ Jo answered eagerly.

‘You’re sure it was yesterday and not Saturday?’ If it had been Saturday, that would be fine. On Saturday Dan had still been officially single, but not anymore. They’d spent the night together since then, and OK, so they didn’t have sex—he’d been too drunk for that—but he had kissed her in the club, and he’d kissed her again before he went unconscious.

‘Yes,’ she confirmed. ‘It was definitely yesterday.’ She grinned with pleasure and then looked at Libby expectantly again. ‘So come on,’ she said, ‘tell me what happened.’

But Libby didn’t feel like talking now. She just wanted to get back to the flat, find out from Dan what was going on. He couldn’t expect to spend the night with her and then still claim to be
single
.

‘I can’t,’ said Libby, glancing at her watch. ‘I’ve got to go.’ Joanna looked surprised and disappointed, but Libby couldn’t help that.

She stood up, and as Joanna reached for her bag on the floor Libby noticed her scarf on the seating between them. Without thinking why she was doing it, she snatched it up and slipped it under her coat.

‘Is Aisling upset?’ Joanna persisted as she followed Libby out of the pub.

‘She got off with Steve at the club,’ Libby found herself saying, ‘so I shouldn’t think so.’

They were outside the pub now, and Libby had turned and started off down the road, away from Joanna, when she heard her call out.

‘Which club were you at?’

She turned back briefly, annoyed at such a stupid and irrelevant question.

‘Roller Coaster,’ she said, ‘though I fail to see what difference that makes.’

***

It shouldn’t make any difference at all, but it did to me. Dan always professed to hate club life—the crush—the wrong sort of music. The only time he’d been in one before was the night I’d met him at Zoot. It was my regular Friday night haunt at the time, and he’d been dragged there kicking and screaming by some band he’d spent the early part of the evening interviewing. And because he was the best thing I’d ever seen in the place, I’d made a beeline for him straight away.

That had definitely been one of our problems. It had been fine for the first year. I’d been happy to stay in with Dan most evenings, listening to music, curling up with him on his green sofa. Then I started my new well-paid job and began insisting that we went out more. I had real money to spend for the first time ever and maybe it just went to my head a bit. He went along with it for a while, but long drinking and gossiping sessions with my new work colleagues just wasn’t what he wanted to do.

I told him he was boring and he told me my new friends were a waste of space.

When I finally limped into my flat, kicking my shoes off
en
route
to my bedroom, I switched on the laptop and read my mail. There were several responses from my old clients, and they were on the whole pretty favourable. I sent copies on to Sid, and then went into Sarah’s Hotmail account.

I wasn’t sure what to make of this recent turn of events. I was glad it was over with Dan and Aisling, I supposed, and I was definitely glad that Dan hadn’t been lying to Sarah about his single status, but where did that leave me now? I thought about what Sid had said and considered calling Dan, but what would I say after all this time?

And what if he thought I wanted to get back with him? And did I want to get back with him?

The very fact that I didn’t know the answer to this decided me. Right or wrong, it seemed far better to find out what I needed to know through a third party, a third party who seemed to be getting along far better with Dan than I did—near the end anyway.

I’d kept copies of our exchanges and I read them now, and then I began a new message.

Dear Dan

Sorry
about
the
interruption
.
So
why
didn’t
you
go
after
your
girlfriend
when
she
left?

Sarah

I sent off the message, went to the kitchen to open a tin of beans, and remembered the note Giovanna had given to me from Marco. I was still wearing my coat, so I slipped my hand in my pocket and took it out. I felt a bit of a tingle as I opened it up. I was remembering the kiss again and, well, it was quite a nice kiss.

It was a single sheet of white Basildon Bond, and I could see at first glance that there wasn’t very much written on it.
Bella
Joanna
, it began and I flushed with pleasure.

Can’t
wait
to
do
it
again
.

I’ll
call
you
.

Marco

I smiled to myself and folded the paper again and put it back in the envelope. I put it down on the work surface and took off my coat. And as I was doing it I realised I didn’t have my favourite scarf.

***

Libby had headed straight for the nearest taxi rank. She was anxious to get back quickly and confront Dan with this claim of his of being ‘single’. However, as she got closer to home it occurred to her that confrontation might be the wrong way to go about things. Besides which, it was early days, and after the experience he’d had with Joanna he might just be playing it cautiously where she was concerned.

With this change of heart, she asked the driver to drop her outside a row of retail outlets not far from the flat and tipped him generously. In the Chinese takeaway she ordered chicken in black bean sauce, a prawn chow mein, some rice and a bag of prawn crackers. While it was being cooked, she nipped next door to a branch of Threshers. She went for a good white Bordeaux, aged in oak and already chilled, and added a small box of Belgian chocolates that would do for afters.

When she’d picked up the food, she made her way home. It had started to rain, but she was in such a good mood now that she didn’t care. She didn’t bother to go up to her own flat first. There was no point in risking the food getting cold, and she knew from a quick check in the downstairs hall mirror—put there by Aisling, of course—that she looked fine.

She rapped on Dan’s door and imagined the delighted surprise on his face when he opened up and saw her there, laden with goodies.

She rapped again, a little harder this time, and when that still didn’t produce the desired result she put the bags down on the floor and knocked really hard. She knocked really hard several times, until she heard a voice calling up to her from the hallway below. A high-pitched, silly voice that could only belong to Aisling.

‘What’s going on? Is there a fire or something?’

Libby took a deep, calming breath and moved slowly to the top of the stairs.

‘Just trying to make Dan hear. I think he must have dropped off or something.’

Aisling looked up at her curiously. ‘Didn’t it occur to you that he might not be in?’

‘Of course he’s in. He’s writing his book and—’ She didn’t finish what she was going to say—that he should be expecting her...

‘But he isn’t,’ Aisling said coolly. ‘He had to go out. There was some band in town that he couldn’t miss, apparently. Never heard of them myself, but that doesn’t mean much, I suppose.’ There was a pause, then, ‘Can I smell Chinese?’

Libby nodded. It was important not to show her disappointment. ‘I thought Dan would be starving, but since he’s out would you like to share it?’ It wouldn’t do any harm to get chummy with Aisling, she thought.

‘Wouldn’t say no,’ Aisling replied. ‘Shall I come to you, or would you like to come down here?’

‘I’ll come to you.’

‘Great,’ Aisling chirped happily. ‘I’ll warm some plates.’

Chapter Ten

I got up really early the following morning, did the best I could in the putting-up-my-hair department, and with my feet now comfortably ensconced in cushioned trainers I made my way happily enough to work—despite the fact that I hadn’t yet had a reply from Dan.

This might have been because Marco had been occupying a lot of my thoughts since reading that note, and every time Giovanna mentioned his name—and she did quite a lot that morning—I’m sure I went red. I know I’d always believed that he wasn’t my type, but I’d now got to thinking that just because he wasn’t partner/husband potential as far as I was concerned, it didn’t mean that we couldn’t have great sex.

I kept reminding myself that at the ripe old age of twenty-six I’d only had three sexual partners, which was practically unheard of these days. Worse was the fact that one of the three hardly even counted. That was Jon Braithwaite, I am ashamed to say—Nic’s boyfriend—who seduced me when I was drunk on cheap cider. I can’t remember much about it, but it certainly wasn’t an experience I chose to repeat. In fact it put me off sex for another four years.

Until I met Bill, that is, on my travels through India. That was good, no doubt about it, but it only lasted three weeks because Bill had to head back to Australia. It wasn’t love or anything, but it gave me a taster of how good things could be. And then of course there was Dan. The best by a very long stretch, but with so little experience under my belt how was I to know if it could be even better?

And Marco, it had it be said, was a very sexy man.

In my sensible footwear I got though the busy lunchtime period without so much as a twinge. And it was while I was enjoying a post-rush hour coffee break with Dulcie and Giovanna that my father, of all people, appeared at the counter.

I stared at him for quite a few seconds before I fully accepted that it was my father.

‘How did you know I was here?’ I finally managed.

‘When I couldn’t get you at the flat I rang Cassandra,’ he answered dolefully.

Cassandra is Cass’s real name, the one on her birth certificate, but everyone in the world calls her Cass—except my dad.

Giovanna and Dulcie had stopped talking now, and I remembered my manners and introduced them all. And the moment Giovanna and my dad shook hands across the counter I got a premonition. It was actually a physical thing, a prickle of electricity on the skin of my right forearm. Why that particular spot, I do not know, but it’s been like that since I was a kid. It happened the night I met Dan, as a matter of fact, so I know what I’m talking about.

Dulcie felt it too. Maybe not the same kind of forearm prickle, but I just knew by the way that one of her pencilled eyebrows shot up a fraction that she had sensed something as well. Giovanna just wasn’t her usual extrovert self. Instead of making the fuss I’d expected about meeting a parent of mine, she just quietly insisted that I joined my father while he drank the coffee she also insisted he have for free.

‘What are you doing here, anyway?’ I asked when we were seated.

‘I just thought it would be nice to see you, that’s all,’ he said as he glanced shiftily over my shoulder towards the counter. I jerked my head round just quickly enough to catch Giovanna’s glance before she looked guiltily away.

‘Do you know Giovanna, by any chance?’ I asked my father, who—and I don’t know why—just looked a bit different than usual today. I’ve never thought much about his looks, but it occurred to me then that he was quite a handsome bloke. My mother was right. I certainly hadn’t got my looks from Dad’s side of the family. His skin seemed almost permanently tanned, and his hair was so dark it was almost black—or had been before middle age crept up on him and started turning it grey at the edges.

‘Of course I don’t,’ he replied. ‘I’ve never been in here before in my life.’ Despite his dark skin I watched the redness spread like ink on blotting paper across his face. It wasn’t something you expected from a man of his age, but I realised now that he’d always blushed easily and it was seemingly the only characteristic that I’d taken from him. I also realised what was going on. He fancied Giovanna rotten and she fancied him back. I wasn’t sure what to do with this knowledge, but I do know it made me think of my father differently after that.

‘Mum came up on Friday,’ I said. It wasn’t a deliberate attempt to take the wind out of his sails of ardour, but it did the trick. He looked quite startled at first, and then he sighed.

‘She told me,’ he said.

‘Did she tell you what she tried dragging me into?’ I said, surprised to find myself still angry with her.

He looked vaguely puzzled, but not particularly interested, so I decided to drop the subject. There didn’t seem much point in telling him anyway. We both knew that his wife was a law unto herself.

‘I need to tell you something,’ he said.

Oh dear, I didn’t like the sound of that.

‘What?’

‘Your mother and I have been living apart for over a fortnight.’

I thought about laughing, but it didn’t seem very appropriate because I knew that he wasn’t joking. The really funny thing was that although I was surprised it wasn’t for the obvious reasons. What perplexed me most was why it had taken so long. She might be my mother, but if I were a man I’d have been on my bike years ago.

‘I take it it’s
you
that’s left
her
?
’
I said, feeling oddly proud of him.

‘Sort of,’ he said, and I decided not to spoil things by pressing the matter further just at the moment.

‘Where are you staying?’

‘In a guest house.’

‘That must be expensive,’ I said. ‘Not to mention lonely.’

He lowered his eyelids and I reached for his hand over the table. He allowed me to squeeze it briefly before withdrawing it.

‘Why don’t you come and stay with me?’ I said, without really thinking.

‘I couldn’t,’ he said. ‘Your mother wouldn’t like it. She’d think you were taking sides.’

‘Flah! My mother didn’t even have the decency to tell me what’s happened. And besides, she should be pleased that you’ll be saving some money.’

He grinned sadly. ‘Well, there is that, I suppose.’

‘And it’s handier for work,’ I said, feeling strangely mature and grown up.

He nodded, and looked me full in the face for the first time. ‘To be honest, I hoped you’d say that, but I promise it won’t be for long. And I’ll stay out of your way if you have people over.’

‘Dad,’ I said seriously, ‘I’m as lonely as you are at the moment. You’ll be doing me a favour. And so long as you don’t mind sleeping on the sofa bed and chipping in a bit for the bills, I think it’s going to work out fine.’

He admitted he already had his stuff with him in the car, and I gave him my key so he could drop it at the flat. He’d taken the day off work and he promised to have something ready for me to eat when I got home. I didn’t like the sound of that too much, as my father is a famously terrible cook, but I didn’t say anything.

After he left, Giovanna was very quiet for some time. And when Dulcie winked at me in a conspiratorial fashion as she left I felt a bit affronted. I wanted to explain that my father was a married man. OK, he might be living apart from his wife presently, but that didn’t mean he was fair game. I might think my mother deserved to be left, but only to be taught a lesson, and part of the reason for having Dad stay with me was to keep an eye on him. He was vulnerable at the moment, anyone could see that, and fond as I was of Giovanna I didn’t want her damaging the prospect of an eventual reconciliation between my parents.

It was four o’clock before she brought up the subject, which was pretty good going, I thought. I could tell she was dying to ask me questions about my father, and I’d been ready for her for ages.

‘That was-a nice of your
papa
to call in and see you like-a that,’ she said as she rearranged cups that didn’t need rearranging.

‘Hmmm,’ I said casually, noting her pale moustache for the first time. I wondered if I should tell her what was going on, but I didn’t want to admit that there was any trouble between my parents so I decided it was best to say as little as possible. ‘He’s going to be staying with me for a day or two,’ I added, just in case I let it slip at a latter stage. But apart from that I remained tight-lipped. She tried again a couple of times, fishing for information about my dad, but I ducked and dived until she finally gave up.

***

Libby was very annoyed with Dan. She’d had to spend hours listening to Aisling prattling on about all the people she knew, and even when she finally managed to get away he still wasn’t back. She’d left a note pinned to his door, asking him to ring when he got in, but he hadn’t. And she knew that he had come back because the note was gone when she went to work in the morning.

When she’d managed to get a word in edgewise with Aisling, and told her she’d spent the night with Dan, Aisling’s response had rankled with her.

‘But he was rather drunk,’ she said, in that innocent way she had that didn’t fool Libby one little bit.

But at least her one-sided conversation with Aisling had assured her that she was no longer interested in Dan herself. Which was something, Libby supposed. She’d been worried that Dan would eventually give in to her full-on attentions, but it seemed now that Aisling had given up on him. In her usual silly and naïve way, she’d frankly admitted that she’d fancied Dan rotten—but not anymore, apparently. It was surprising to Libby that she seemed to be so taken with Steve. With all those flash friends of hers he seemed a very dull choice. But there was no accounting for tastes, she reminded herself.

She’d thought about ringing Dan from work. She’d thought about little else, as a matter of fact. So much that it had been very hard to concentrate on work. So, when Nicola Dick appeared at her desk in the late afternoon she felt a bit uncomfortable. She and the other recruitment consultants had been issued with a list and instructions to try and create some new business. It was a cold-calling exercise that Libby did not feel very enthusiastic about at the best of times. And today, with so much else on her mind, it was the very last thing she felt like doing. So she hadn’t.

‘Had a good day?’ Nicola enquired as she parked her bony bottom on the edge of Libby’s desk. She folded her arms and looked intently at Libby as she waited for a reply. She was wearing a very expensive grey suit, and at the V of the neckline a crucifix glinted under a ceiling spotlight.

‘I’ve got a few leads,’ she lied.

‘You’ve done something to your hair,’ Nicola observed, surprisingly changing the subject. Whether she liked what Libby had done to her hair she didn’t say.

Libby shrugged. Nicola’s own hair was short and spiky blonde and suited what Libby regarded as her rodent-like features. She was feeling edgy, but then she suddenly had an idea. Something she hoped would distract Nicola from digging too deeply into what she’d been up to for most of the day.

‘I understand that you know Joanna Hurst,’ Libby said. It was probably the first thing she had ever said to Nicola that wasn’t directly connected with work and Nicola looked very surprised.

‘Yes,’ she answered cautiously, and then nodded and smiled as if she understood. ‘Has she been on to you for a job?’

Libby shook her head. ‘No…’ She coughed uneasily. ‘It’s just that she mentioned you—said that you were an old school-friend.’

Nicola raised one of her finely plucked eyebrows. ‘I wouldn’t go that far,’ she said. ‘We were at school together, but I wouldn’t call her a
friend
.
’

It looked for a moment as if that was the end of the matter as far as she was concerned, then Nicola spoke again.

‘I understand that she’s jobless as well as boyfriendless now,’ she said with smug pleasure. ‘Pity about the delightful Dan,’ Nicola went on with a smile that quickly faded. ‘Not surprising, though, really. He’s well out of her league.’

It was clear to Libby that Nicola disliked Joanna even more than she disliked her, and it was possible that she could use this situation to her advantage. If she could just create some kind of bond of animosity with her boss against Jo it might take the pressure off her. And there had been quite a lot of pressure of late, including rumours of sackings for those not pulling their weight.

‘I agree,’ said Libby chummily. ‘I live in the flat upstairs from Dan. That’s how I know Joanna. But I can’t say that I ever liked her much.’

Nicola seemed pleased about this.

‘I can’t think what he ever saw in her.’

‘Me neither,’ Libby agreed, pulling a face and shaking her head for added effect. ‘The worst bit is that she keeps phoning me up to ask about him. It’s quite pathetic, really.’

‘I didn’t know she still cared,’ Nicola said with an interested smirk.

‘She’s still very cut up. I keep telling her that it’s time to move on, but she can’t stop quizzing me about who he’s seeing and what he’s doing.’

‘How sad,’ Nicola sighed happily. ‘She hasn’t got much going for her really, has she?’

‘Well at least she has a sort of job,’ Libby said without thinking.