Gun in Cheek (36 page)

Slime, still sitting, with one hand now out of sight behind the desk, said in his quiet way, "Drop the guns. I have in my hand a cord which, if I pull it, will fill you full of lead."

The Fowl and his three henchmen throw their guns on the floor. After which Slime calls the cops, in the person of his friend Gilhooley, who is very glad to hear from him ("'Slime! What do you know! How've you been, Slime?") and even gladder to hear that Slime has the Fowl and his henchmen under the gun. Ten minutes later Gilhooley arrives and identifies the Fowl with one glance. "It's a frame," the Fowl says. "We don't know nothing," the first henchman says. "I want my mother," the second henchman says. Then Gilhooley thanks Slime profusely, picks up the front of the desk for him and hangs it to conceal the machine gun, and takes the Fowl and his henchmen away.

Slime keeps on sitting at his desk, waiting. "Thwarting the Fowl had earned him nothing. Phineas Feekwood might offer a reward but Slime didn't accept rewards. It was part of his code. He took only what he earned—his fee. Plus expenses. But he had had no expenses thwarting the Fowl. So he hadn't earned a dime."

He keeps on waiting awhile longer. Then, at five o'clock, he gets up, locks the office door, and goes out (in that order).

Tomorrow was another day. A customer would come. If not tomorrow, the next day. Or the next. Somebody would be struck by the name in the yellow pages.

He would wait.

He was Slime.

The eloquence of those last three words renders any further comment superfluous.

A
nd there you have them—the unsung alternative heroes of crime fiction and the
crème de Ia crème
, as it were, of their efforts. Perhaps now you can understand why I was compelled to write this book. Perhaps you have even come to agree with my axiom that greatness is not necessarily predicated on a high level of quality, and with its corollary that greatness does exist among the ignored, the downtrodden, the forgotten, the inept, if only one will take the time and effort to seek it out.

In that spirit of seeking out greatness, I hope you will decide to hunt for some of the works discussed in these pages and to read them for yourself. Most are not difficult to find, providing a little diligence and patience are exercised; they turn up regularly in secondhand bookstores and on the sales lists of mail-order mystery-book dealers, a partial list of whom can be found, among other places, in the classified-ads section of
Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine
. In most instances, I have only hinted at the delights to be found in these books and stories, only offered a scant few of their quotable passages. No capsule summary can do justice to a Sydney Horler novel or to those of Carter Brown, Carolyn Wells, Michael Avallone, R.A.J. Walling, Nick Carter, Joseph Rosenberger, and a host of others. They must be experienced, just as the prose of Robert Leslie Bellem must be experienced, to be fully appreciated and fully savored.

I also hope you will make an effort to seek out other alternative classics not covered here. There must certainly be dozens that have escaped my attention, that remain hidden, unread, waiting to reveal their treasures. I know I'm going to be looking for them. And I know, too, that I will again experience that familiar thrill every connoisseur feels at each new discovery and that I will utter once more, like the cry of "Eureka!" from a prospector who has just struck gold, the words:

"My God, that's really bad!"

NOVELS

Abrahams, Robert. Death in 1-2-3. New York: Phoenix Press, 1942.

Alexander, Jan. The Wolves of Craywood. New York: Lancer Books, 1970.

Apple, A. E. Mr. Chang's Crime Ray. New York: Chelsea House, 1928.

Avallone, Michael. Assassins Don't Die in Bed. New York: New American Library (Signet), 1968.

The Case of the Bouncing Betty. New York: Ace Books, 1957.

The Case of the Violent Virgin. New York: Ace Books, 1957.

The Crazy Mixed-Up Corpse. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1957.

The Horrible Man. New York: Curtis Books, 1972.

Killer on the Keys. New York: Curtis Books, 1973.

Meanwhile Back at the Morgue. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1960.

The Satan Sleuth No. 1: Fallen Angel. New York: Warner Paperback Library, 1974.

Shoot It Again, Sam! New York: Curtis Books, 1972.

The Tall Dolores. New York: Henry Holt, 1953.

The Voodoo Murders. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal Books, 1957.

Barker, Elsa. The C.LD. of Dexter Drake. New York: Sears, 1929.

Barron, Ann Forman. Bride of Menace. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1973.

Basinsky, Erie. The Big Steal. New York: E. P. Dutton, 1955. Bellem, Robert Leslie. Blue Murder. New York: Phoenix Press, 1938.

Berckman, Evelyn. The Evil of Time. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1954.

Bestor, Clinton. The Corpse Came Calling. New York: Phoenix Press, 1941.

Brent, Lynton Wright. Death of a Detective. Reseda, Calif.: Powell Books, 1969.

One Man's Crime. Reseda, Calif.: Powell Books, 1969. Bristow, Gwen, and Manning, Bruce. The Invisible Host. New York: Mystery League, 1930.

Brown, Carter. The Brazen. New York: New American Library (Signet), 1960.

Burden of Guilt. New York: New American Library (Signet), 1970.

The Girl Who Was Possessed. New York: New American Library (Signet), 1963.

The Victim. New York: New American Library (Signet), 1959.

Wheeler Fortune. New York: New American Library (Signet), 1974.

Carter, Nick. The Day of the Dingo. New York: Charter Books, 1980.

Hour of the Wolf New York: Award Books, 1973. Ice Trap Terror. New York: Award Books, 1974. The 13th Spy. New York: Award Books, 1965. The Weapon of Night. New York: Award Books, 1967.

Chang, Lee. KungFu: The Year of the Tiger. New York: Manor Books, 1973.

Corren, Grace. The Darkest Room. New York: Lancer Books, 1969.

Mansion of Deadly Dreams. New York: Popular Library, 1973.

A Place on Dark Island, New York: Lancer Books, 1971.

Daly, Carroll John. Murder from the East. New York: Stokes, 1935.

The Tag Murders. New York: E. J. Clode, 1930.

Tainted Power. New York: E. J. Clode, 1931.

Denbow, William. Chandler. New York: Belmont-Tower, 1977.

Diamond, Frank. Murder Rides a Rocket. New York: Mystery House, 1946.

Dorien, Ray. The House of Dread. New York: Paperback Library, 1967.

Eldredge, Gilbert. Murder in the Stratosphere. New York: Phoenix Press, 1940.

Elliott, Bruce. You'll Die Laughing. New York: Five-Star Mystery, 1945.

Fickling, G. G. A Gun for Honey. New York: Pyramid Books, 1958.

Honey in the Flesh. New York: Pyramid Books, 1957.

Fitzsimmons, Cortland. 70,000 Witnesses. New York: McBride, 1931.

Grant, James Edward. The Green Shadow. New York: Hartney Press, 1935.

Gray, Berkeley. Conquest Goes West. London: Collins, 1954. The Spot Marked X. London: Collins, 1948.

Hale, Jennifer. Stormhaven. New York: Lancer Books, 1970.

Halliday, Brett. The Violent World of Michael Shayne. New York: Dell Books, 1965.

Hanshew, Thomas. Cleek, the Master Detective. New York: Doubleday, Page, 1918.

Haynes, Annie. Who Killed Charmian Karslake? New York: Dodd, Mead, 1930.

Heath, Eric. Murder of a Mystery Writer. New York: Arcadia House, 1955.

Hines, Jeanne. Bride of Terror. New York: Popular Library, 1976.

Hodge, Jane Aiken. Marry in Haste. New York: Doubleday, 1961.

Hodges, Carl G. Naked Villainy. New York: Suspense Novel No. 3, 1951.

Horler, Sydney, The Curse of Doone. New York: Mystery League, 1930.

Dark Danger. New York: Mystery House, 1945.

The Destroyer, and The Red-Haired Death. London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1938.

Lord of Terror. New York: Hillman-Curl, 1937.

Hunt, Charlotte. The Cup of Chanatos. New York: Ace Books, 1968.

Johnson, Philip. Hung Until Dead. New York: Phoenix Press, 1940.

Keeler, Harry Stephen. The Case of the Mysterious Moll. New York: Phoenix Press, 1945.

Keystone, Oliver. Arsenic for the Teacher. New York: Phoenix Press, 1950.

Knevels, Gertrude. Out of the Dark. Philadelphia: Penn Publishing Co., 1932.

Koehler, Robert Portner. Murder Expert. New York: Phoenix Press, 1945.

Le Queux, William. The Mystery of the Green Ray. London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1915.

Leroux, Gaston. The Perfume of the Lady in Black. New York: Brentano's, 1909.

Levinrew, Will. Murder in the Palisades. New York: McBride, 1930.

Lilly, Jean. Death Thumbs A Ride. New York: E. P. Dutton, 1940.

Marlowe, Stephen. Killers Are My Meat. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1957.

Martin, Ian Kennedy. The Manhattan File. New York: Holt, Rinehart, 1976.

Maryk, Michael, & Monahan, Brent. Death Bite. New York: Andrews & McMeel, 1979.

Maylon, B. J. The Corpse with Knee-Action. New York: Phoenix Press, 1940.

Michaels, Barbara. The Dark on the Other Side. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1970.

Mitchell, Gladys. The Mystery of a Butcher's Shop. New York: The Dial Press, 1930.

Morgan, Michael. Decoy. New York: Ace Books, 1953. Newman, Bernard. The Mussolini Murder Plot. New York: Hillman-Curl, 1939.

Nonweliler, Arville, Murder on the Pike, New York: Phoenix Press, 1944.

North, Sam. 209 Thriller Road. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1979.

Norwood, Hayden. Death Down East. New York: Phoenix Press, 1941.

O'Hanlon, James. Murder at Horsethief. New York: Phoenix Press, 1941.

O'Shea, Sean. What a Way to Go! New York: Belmont Books, 1966.

Paige, Leslie. Queen of Hearts. New York: Belmont-Tower, 1974.

Parker, Robert B. Looking for Rachel Wallace. New York: Delacorte, 1980.

Pinkerton, Allan. The Expressman and the Detective. Chicago: W. B. Keen, Cooke & Co., 1874.

Porcelain, Sidney E. The Purple Pony Murders. New York: Phoenix Press, 1944.

Prather, Richard S. The Cockeyed Corpse. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1964.

Dig that Crazy Grave. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1961.

Strip for Murder. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1955.

Take a Murder, Darling. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1958.

The Wailing Frail. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1956.

Way of a Wanton. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1952.

Raison, Milton M. Murder in a Lighter Vein. Culver City, Calif.: Murray & Gee, 1947.

Reynolds, Mack. The Case of the Little Green Men. New York: Phoenix Press, 1951.

Rhoades, Knight. She Died on the Stairway. New York: Arcadia House, 1947.

Rinehart, Mary Roberts, and Hopwood, Avery. The Bat. New York: Geo. H. Doran, 1926.

Rivera, William L. Panic Walks Alone. Chatsworth, Calif.: Major Books, 1976.

Roan, Tom. The Dragon Strikes Back. New York: Julian Messner, 1936.

Rohde, William L. Help Wanted—for Murder. Greenwich, Conn.: Gold Medal, 1950.

Rosenberger, Joseph. Death Merchant No. 6: The Albanian Connection. New York: Pinnacle Books, 1973.

Death Merchant No. 20: Hell in Hindu Land. New York: Pinnacle Books, 1976.

. Death Merchant No. 9: The Laser War. New York: Pinnacle Books, 1974.

"Sapper" (H. C. McNeile). The Black Gang. New York: Geo. H. Doran, 1922.

Sears, Ruth McCarthy. Wind in the Cypress. New York: Lenox Hill Press, 1974.

Shannon, Carl. Lady, That's My Skull. New York: Phoenix Press, 1947.

Shannon, Jimmy. The Devil's Passkey. New York: AppletonCentury-Crofts, 1952.

Small, Austin J. The Avenging Ray. New York: Doubleday Crime Club, 1930.

Spatz, H. Donald. Murder with Long Hair. New York: Phoenix Press, 1940.

Spencer, Ross H. The Dada Caper. New York: Avon Books, 1978.

Spillane, Mickey. I, the Jury. New York: E. P. Dutton, 1947.

One Lonely Night. New York: E. P. Dutton, 1951. Targ, William, and Herman, Lewis. The Case of Mr. Cassidy. New York: Phoenix Press, 1939.

Teilhet, Darwin, and Teilhet Hildegarde. The Feather Cloak Murders. New York: Doubleday Crime Club, 1936.

Trimble, Louis. Murder Trouble. New York: Phoenix Press, 1945.

Vanderveer, Stewart. Death for a Lady. New York: Phoenix Press, 1939.

Walling, R.A.J. A Corpse by Any Other Name. New York: Morrow, 1943.

The Corpse With the Blue Cravat. New York: Morrow,