Gypsy Beach (14 page)

Regret so deep it appeared as visible pain
slumped Ryan’s entire body. What on earth had his parents done to
him? She thought
her
mother was bad.

“Anyway, I got off the phone that night with
you, the last time we talked.” Emotion cinched his throat like a
noose, and Sienna couldn’t stand it. She leaned and brushed a
tender kiss along his jaw. She wanted him to stop making himself
hurt. In that moment, before she’d even heard half the story, she
knew that she’d already forgiven Ryan no matter what it was he’d
done.

He brought her hand to his mouth and
whispered a kiss against her knuckles. “I’m trying not to be a
complete pussy and break down in front of you, but I may have to
stop talking every now and then. It’s been a lot lately.” His
confession was weighted with harrowing fear and deep regret.

“Ryan, it’s okay. I mean, I believe you love
me and that you always did.” She wasn’t certain that she did
completely believe that, but she couldn’t be the reason he cried.
She just couldn’t.

“No, it’s not okay. It’s all my fault, and
I’m going to tell you everything. I owe you an explanation.”

With another deep exhalation he began again.
“That night, my parents took my cell phone and destroyed it, and my
mother had one of her hissy-fits about my grades. They blamed you.
Said I was spending all my time thinking about you and not focusing
on school. That part was probably true, but I wouldn’t have been
able to pass with or without you. Having you in my life was the
only thing that made me want to go on, though. They never seemed to
get that.”

Sienna felt her own tears prick her eyes. She
squeezed his hand and willed him strength.

“So, uh, I kept trying to sneak around and
call you, but my mother was relentless. She practically slept in my
room. When that didn’t work, I decided that I’d drive to Norfolk
and find your mom and stepdad’s house somehow. I snuck out enough
times that they reported my car as being stolen. I got arrested
three times, and never even made it to the Georgia line. My dad
always dropped the charges, but they had the entire fucking Georgia
State police department on their side.”

“Oh, my gosh!” she gasped in absolute shock.
For all of her mother’s derision and lack of caring, she wouldn’t
have done that.

“Anyway, I was determined that I was going to
be at the beach the day after graduation, just like we’d planned. A
friend of mine agreed to sell me his old truck, but the only time I
could’ve gotten out was during my graduation ceremony while my
parents were up in the stands oblivious to what was really going
on. I had it all planned out; I was going to slip out of the line
before we marched in. I figured I had a few hours before they got
to the M’s and my absence was noticed, but then I failed English
and couldn’t graduate.

“When that happened, my parents went
ape-shit. They took me to summer school every day, and my mother
would sit in the parking lot until I got out. She’d drive me home,
and I wasn’t allowed out of the house until they drove me to Athens
that fall. By then, I half convinced myself that you’d never
forgive me for not showing up and not calling.

“But I did try. John’s a year older than me,
and he was my big brother in our frat. I didn’t rush or anything.
My dad was big in Sigma Chi. I had to be, too.” Ryan rolled his
eyes. His lip curled in disdain. “Anyway, I talked John into
driving to the beach one weekend just before we got out for
Christmas break. I came here, and Nana said that your mom had made
you go to some women’s college. She wouldn’t tell me where or give
me your number. She was understandably furious that I’d done you
the way I did you, so she highly advised against me looking for
you.”

Sienna’s hand flew over her mouth in shock.
Why hadn’t Nana ever told her that? “Oh, my gosh! Did she throw
shoes at you?”

Ryan’s laughter filled the truck and her
heart. “Yes, she did. She also cursed me, but I totally deserved
it. Now that I think about it, that may be how my life go so fucked
up after that.”

Whenever someone came near the Inn that Nana
didn’t care for, she had a habit of throwing old shoes and curses
their way.

“Anyway, I guess I got really, really
depressed. I wasn’t doing any better in college than I had in high
school. My Dad was furious. I was supposed to join his investment
firm, and I could barely add, much less calculate compound interest
on stocks.

“I drank all day every day, Sienna. I tried
to drink away the pain of not having you. I was drunk for two solid
years. A complete disaster. I did a lot of things I regret during
those two years, and now I don’t drink very often, and nothing more
than a single beer or one glass of wine. I lost too much in liquor.
I made too damn many mistakes. I was a disaster, and I convinced
myself that you’d never take me back. You definitely deserved
better than I was right then, anyway.

“So, like I said, my parents were furious,
and my mother is ever under the impression that she knows how
everyone should live their lives, so she stepped in again. She
cooked up a plan with my old man and with Alexa’s parents. They
were all old friends from the driving club.”

“Is Alexa…?”

“She’s my ex.” Ryan shuddered involuntarily.
“She also makes Satan’s hellhounds look like Lassie, but I was too
drunk to notice back then.”

“Uh, we started dating per my parents’
orders. And about six months in, she showed up at my apartment,
wearing an engagement ring my mother gave her, and…” he stopped
abruptly. He didn’t know how she was going to react.

“And…” Sienna was frantic. What else could
possibly have happened to him?

He took his eyes off the road and met her
concerned stare.

“Please tell me.” She squeezed his hand again
and gave him one of those smiles that he would never deserve.

He nodded and drew a deep breath. “And she
told me that she was pregnant. She lied to me about being on the
pill, and got pregnant on the sly.”

Stone cold shock froze Sienna’s features. She
couldn’t seem to speak, and Ryan desperately needed her to say
something.

The tears he’d fought for so long welled in
his eyes. He clenched his jaw, desperate to keep them locked away
by the might of his teeth. “Please say something,” he finally
begged.

“Wow,” she managed in a barely audible
whisper.

“It gets worse,” he admitted.

“Worse than tricking you into having a
kid?”

Of all the scenarios Sienna had imagined in
the last ten years as to what on earth might’ve happened to him,
nothing compared to the reality he’d been living.

“Yeah, much worse.” He sighed. “I went
insane. Told my old man that I hated him and my mother and
threatened to end it all. They certainly couldn’t have a son that
committed suicide. I mean, what would the Piedmont Driving Club
think of that? So, they made me a deal. If I agreed to marry Alexa,
I got to drop out of school, and my Dad would finance my
construction company. I told myself that was the best I was ever
going to get, that you were long gone and deserved someone so much
better than me. All I’d wanted to do since before I finished high
school was build things, so I opened the business and tried to
ignore Alexa as much as I could. Not an ideal marriage, but I was
as happy as I felt like I deserved to be.”

“So, you have a kid? Like a little kid?”
Sienna just couldn’t wrap her head around Ryan being a father.

“Yeah, her name is Evie. And I know this is
an insane story, but she’s all I’ve been living for, Sienna. That’s
who we’re going to get.”

When he said her name, every abhorrent wrong
that had marred his handsome face a moment before seemed to ease.
But Sienna still had no idea what this meant for her and Ryan.

“Anyway, my parents were very accustomed to
being one of the wealthiest families in Atlanta. There was nowhere
that they went that the red carpet wasn’t rolled out for their
arrival. I never wanted any of that, but Alexa loved it. She and my
parents were thick as thieves, and Evie and I just did the best we
could. So, fast forward a few years, and the stock market crashed.
My company held on. I’d actually managed to make a name for myself,
and I was still getting big contracts. The only problem was that
I’d never legally separated my company from my old man’s. And when
his clients were out of money and no one was investing, he got
greedy. My mother had to have her new Lincoln every fucking year,
after all.” Ryan’s sneer was laced with fury. It was almost hatred.
Sienna didn’t want him to feel that way about his family.

“So, your dad…”

“Was arrested for fraud and embezzlement. His
company became property of the great state of Georgia, and my
company with it. Eventually, my name was cleared. My Dad did
testify that I had no idea what was going on. I sold off everything
to pay his bail and most of their debts. He got off with an ankle
bracelet for a year, but Alexa wasn’t going to stick around while
my family went down. When stores started denying her charge cards
and her checking account was overdrawn, she left.”

“I’m really sorry, Ryan.”

He turned to Sienna shocked at her apology.
“Well, don’t be sorry she left. That’s the only good part of this
whole shitty tale.” He winked at her and somehow elicited her
adorable grin.

“Evie and I moved into my parent’s pool
house, and just when I thought maybe I could figure out a way to
actually start over and make a better life, they came and took my
baby girl away. Alexa figured out that whoever had primary custody
of Evie got her as a tax deduction, and that if she had her that I
would have to pay most everything I make in child support for the
next fourteen years. So, that’s why I’m not divorced. That’s the
one line of the decree I refuse to sign. I will not lose my
daughter, Sienna. I can’t. I cannot let that bitch raise her. So,
Evie is the major complication here, but it makes me sick to think
of her like that. I guess I’m asking if you think you could get to
know Evie, and maybe share me with her, sort of. If you want?”

Sienna tried to force her mouth to move.
She’d never heard Ryan sound so terrified. She couldn’t believe
what had happened to him. She couldn’t believe that Nana never told
her he’d come by. Nana and that temper and that damn Gypsy blood.
Ugh!

“I… I… love you, Ryan. I always have, but I
don’t want Evie to have to share you at all. I grew up with a mom
than never wanted me around. I don’t want to be in the way with you
and her.”

Ryan swallowed back another round of tears.
“Evie is growing up with a mom that doesn’t ever want her around.
Alexa took off for Paris this morning and dumped my baby girl at
John’s. As long as Evie knows that you want her there when she’s
with us, then she’ll be fine. That’s all kids really want to know —
that they’re loved and wanted. That’s how it’s supposed to work. I
know you don’t know her yet, but maybe someday you could love her,
too.”

Sienna sank back against the seat and tried
to see into the future. She tried to imagine what Ryan’s little
girl might look like. She tried to discern if she could help him
take care of a child. She was just kind of getting used to making
adult decisions herself. “Ryan, I don’t know anything at all about
kids. I might screw everything up.”

“Hey, I’ll be there with both of you the
entire time, and Evie’s pretty easy. You will probably have to
watch Frozen more than any human being should ever be forced to,
but if you’re willing to just give us a try, I’ll help you do
anything at all.”

Sienna laughed. “Well, I do own the blu-ray
copy, and I may have belted out ‘Let it Go’ more than once in the
shower.”

Her ability to make Ryan laugh made some of
the mind-boggling fear evaporate from her soul. Her mind was still
spinning, though. She had no idea what to do with a four-year old.
She tried to remember being four. She had a few recollections of
kindergarten, but not much before getting sent to time-out for
sticking her tongue out at her teacher when she’d informed Sienna
that her coloring had to stay in the lines.

Another part of his story trickled back
through her consciousness. “Can I ask you something?”

He changed lanes and then studied her. “Of
course.”

“Why did your parents always hate me so much,
and are they going to be okay with us, with this?” She gestured her
hand between them.

“My parents have had several generous
helpings of crow pie as of late.”

Sienna’s brow knitted tightly, and Ryan gave
her another one of those heart stopping grins. “Sorry, in Norfolk
they probably eat humble pie. Crow’s probably a deep South
thing.”

Sienna laughed, but she definitely wasn’t
looking forward to seeing the McNamaras anytime soon.

“The point of that whole stupid story that
was my life is that I don’t give a damn what my parents want or
what they think anymore. They know they screwed me over big time.
They don’t want to accept you, then they can watch me take their
only granddaughter and walk away. I don’t owe them anything else.
I’ve given them my entire livelihood, my blood, my sweat, and an
ocean full of tears, so they can take or leave it. I’m done.”

“Is John going to make sure that you get
Evie? How are you going to keep Alexa away?”

“John’s doing his best. Taking custody away
from the mother is pretty rare so I’m fighting an uphill battle,
but I’ll never stop fighting for her. Alexa dumping her this
morning is just one thing on a long list of mistakes that will be
thrown in her face in court. I’ll even pay her monthly, as long as
I can still afford to take care of Evie, just to get Alexa to walk
away. It’s a disaster, and I’ll never have the kind of money that I
had before, Sienna. I can’t give Evie or you much of a life,
certainly nothing like what I had growing up. I mean, if you ever
wanted to consider having a life with me.”