Gypsy Girl and Horse Lovin' Boys (17 page)

I hugged him tight. When I pulled away to head home, he gave me the most sincere smile and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He was
so
melting my resolve. Those boys needed to stop being so … so … everything. They were good at digging deep into my heart, making me care deeply for them both.

Noah and his family came to watch the show at our next performance. He made sure they sat off to the side. Thankfully, I didn’t have to look directly at them the whole time. Peppy behaved himself quite well. He hugged me constantly when it was over. I gave him several treats when we finished before handing him off to my mom.

Noah waited for me to finish visiting with the crowd and selling toys before he brought his mom, dad, and brothers to speak with me.

“That was a lovely show.” Noah’s mom held onto his arm.

“Thank you,” I struggled to smile with warmth. Show smile, show smile, I screamed in my head. I plastered one across my face. Noah introduced me to his brothers. He hit the younger in the arm when he tried flirting with me. I still squirmed under his mom’s scrutinizing looks. I wouldn’t allow myself to look at Noah for long and finally his mom hurried them off to watch another show on the other side of the fairgrounds before they went home.

When I met up with everyone at the end of the day, I struggled to keep my feelings under control. Both boys, I needed to be friends. FRIENDS. Rachel and Bree hung on me talking non-stop about all the boys they had been trying to get numbers from all day. I longed for it to be Noah and Josh hanging on my arms instead. They walked behind me.

“I want to do karaoke,” Bree said as we walked by the stand with music blaring. Unfortunately it wasn’t quite loud enough to drown out a couple of kids singing badly.

“Can you sing?” I asked.

“Anyone can sing,” Bree answered.

“But does the rest of the world think it’s singing?” Josh asked.

“Like you should talk.” I pointed at him.

“Hey, I was trying to make a spectacle out of myself at the time.”

“Sure you were.” I shook my head. “You
did
do a great job of that.”

“So let’s see who can sing the best,” Bree said.

“Game on.” Josh held out his hand for the girls to step up to the book of songs.

“I know what we should sing.” Bree searched through the book and pointed at a song. It was Taylor Swift’s ‘
22
’. “You want to sing this with me?”

Rachel agreed readily.

“You two sing it. I want to pick one of my own.” I mashed my fingers nervously and studied my nails.

Once it was their turn, Bree and Rachel sang their hearts out, pretending to be Taylor Swift. I busted a gut over their silliness. They were out of tune sometimes. They sure didn’t care. It was the perfect song for the two girls, having fun at the fair.

I skimmed through the book until I found my song. My hands were sweaty and my heart pounded harder than the bass speaker thumping to the music. Performing in the show was so much easier. I glanced over at the boys a couple of times. They laughed so hard at the two girls as they continued to act out the song.

When they walked offstage, they handed me the microphone.

I gripped it tight enough to strangle it as Kasey Musgraves ‘
Follow your Arrow’
started to play. Soon I got into it and I could sing almost like Kasey and kept my eyes fixed on Josh each time I playfully sang the chorus. I shifted my gaze to Noah when Josh rubbed his reddening face to hide from me. Noah smiled the biggest smile as if he knew exactly why I chose that song.

When I finished, anxiety hit me full force when everyone around the booth clapped and cheered for me. I nearly started to cry when my nerves got the best of me once I was offstage. To manage my freak out, I kept my distance when Josh and Noah stepped up to take their turn.

They both fiddled with their microphones as they waited for the DJ to start their song. Noah nervously shifted his weight back and forth. Josh bounced from foot to foot, bursting with energy. He grabbed my hand pulling me closer to the stage. I still wanted to hide.

When the music started to play, I covered my mouth in happy surprise when Hunter Hayes
‘Wanted
’ played. I never told them how much I loved that song. Always reserved Noah sang spot on throughout the song and he never took his eyes off me, even pointing at me several times. Josh joined him on the chorus and then it was a little weird with both of them singing to me at the same time. I blinked away tears far too often and hugged myself. Bree and Rachel whispered something to me. I didn’t hear them. I was savoring every word.

Without skipping a beat, Josh took off his glasses when Hunter Hayes ‘
Storm Warning
’ blared from the speakers. My jaw fell open when every note he sang was perfect and not off key. So what was going on the night we went to see Weird Al? The song was fast and he sang everything with the same high energy and intensity that matched the music.

Bree and Rachel squealed in delight. A crowd gathered around the karaoke tent as Josh continued to sing his heart out to me and bounced all over the stage, putting on a great show. Noah sang with the chorus. When they finished, everyone cheered so loud. You would have thought it was a real concert. However, I was completely speechless and frozen where I stood.

“You should close your mouth before you catch a fly.” Rachel elbowed me in the ribs.

“Did you know they could sing?” I pointed at the boys as they were mobbed by a crowd.

“No. I had no idea. I think they won the contest, don’t you?” Rachel pulled on my arm. “They were both singing to you.”

“That’s kind of awkward.” I shoved my hands in the pockets of my shorts. My face flamed hotter than it ever had in my whole life. People stared and smiled at me as much as they complimented the boys.

Once the boys were close enough, I threw my arms around them both. I wasn’t going to say a word or I would ugly cry.

“Are you about to cry because your ears are bleeding?” Josh asked once he put his glasses back on.

“Oh, heck no. I thought you guys sounded like a real concert. You totally knocked my socks off.”

“I think you’re lying. They’re still on your feet.” Josh smirked at me.

I pushed Josh, but quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. I did the same with Noah. “I don’t know how to act. Who has two boys serenading them at once? I think I’m still melting over it.”

I was overwhelmed with so many feels that I let them both go and stuffed my hands in my pockets again.

“You guys totally won.” Rachel’s eyes were glassy. “I wish a guy would sing like that to me someday.”

Bree grabbed Rachel’s arm. “I’m all fangirling too. How come nobody knows how well you two can sing?”

“I didn’t know.” Noah shrugged, shaking his head.

“Did too. We’ve been singing to that stuff all the time.” Josh playfully punched Noah’s arm.

“I didn’t think we were any good. That was just something to do. We were just making noise because
you
can’t ever stand still long enough to brush a horse.”

“Maybe. But I knew you were good.” Josh pointed in the direction he wanted us to walk.

“How come you were singing so bad the other night?” I wedged my body in between the boys as they walked along the path.

“Because I was being silly trying to get you to pay extra attention to me. It worked.” He shrugged his shoulders and glanced at Noah.

Noah swung at him playfully. I ducked.

“I see.” Grabbing Noah’s arm, I hooked mine in his and did the same with Josh. I smiled at him and then when I smiled at Noah, he didn’t smile back.

“Let’s go ride the flying saucer thing. I wanna be plastered to the walls.” Josh pulled me to the ride.

“Yes!” Bree bounded ahead of Josh with Rachel right behind her.

I stopped. Noah hung back as well and tugged on the back of my shirt.

“I don’t like that ride. It makes me sick.” I slipped my hand out of Josh’s.

“I’m not up to it either. My parents overfed me. I don’t want to toss my dinner,” Noah said.

Josh paused and his eyes met mine for a moment. Bree hooked her arm in Josh’s and Rachel did the same with his other arm. He didn’t have a chance to argue as they escorted him away.

“We will meet up with you when you’re done.” Noah waved Josh on.

I didn’t miss the glare Josh gave Noah. I rolled my eyes. They were still competing. Once they disappeared into the crowd, Noah led me far from where our friends went. He found a quiet place behind one of the rides in the trees.

“What are we doing?” I asked as Noah leaned against a tree and held both my hands.

“I wanted to ask you if anything bad happened with my mom.”

“Nothing terrible. She made me uncomfortable but you both played that up so much it freaked me out. It really wasn’t that bad.”

“I wondered if she might have turned you off me.”

“What? I’m not turned off by you.”

“You are a little.”

“I am trying to be careful. I’ve told you that.”

“You didn’t seem all that bothered playing girlfriend with Josh.” Noah looked at our hands, squeezed mine, and chewed on his lip. “I hate feeling like this. I’m sorry. But earlier this week you would look at me a certain way and I loved it. Now I see you giving that soft look to Josh more and more. I miss it. I want it to be mine. Do you like him more?”

My throat tightened. I leaned into Noah but he stopped me.

“Don’t get all soft on me. Please tell me what’s going on.” He pulled his hands from mine and folded his arms. “And stop trying to say the things that will help me feel better. Be honest.”

I rested my hands on his arms. “Josh keeps opening up to me and telling me things that he’s probably only told you.” I tugged on his t-shirt. “He told me about his mom and that’s why I picked that song. Now I kind of wish I picked something else because you both picked songs with so much more meaning.” I couldn’t look at him so I pressed my forehead against his chest. “I totally get what he feels about his mom and stuff. I adore you and you’re perfect, in all the best ways. Your mom, she’s your biggest problem, but she’ll never be my problem. Thank goodness. Josh, he’s kind of a mess. Not in a bad way but in a way that I can relate to. The truth is, I’m a bit of a mess too. That’s probably why both of us need you.” I finally looked up at his face. “I do. Honestly, you’re really too good for me” I held back tears when I leaned into him again.

Noah cupped my face in his hands. His blue eyes captured me and sucked me in the way they always did when I gazed into them. My knees started to give and my hands on his chest barely held me up when he leaned in and kissed me. How could I stop perfection from kissing me? Wanting
me
? I could still hear the words he sang running through my mind as if he was standing there singing those words to me all over again.

“I’m totally jealous of my best friend. I’m as imperfect as they come. You shouldn’t put me on a pedestal because I don’t want to see your face when I fall. ” He trailed his fingers through my hair. “We are probably out of time,” he whispered, resting his head on mine. “I wish this night was ours though. Just you and me.” He took my hand and led me back to the crowds, into the chaos to find our friends.

For the rest of the night I hung out with all of them. My mind meandered all over the place though. I almost didn’t feel I was present. I could hear Noah’s song and could feel his lips on mine. Josh’s song was just as meaningful. I loved his vulnerability when he wasn’t the center of attention, his hugs with his face tucked next to my neck, and he was the one taking the lead on our night of fun.

At the end of the night, I said goodbye to all four. When I watched the boys leave, I was at a loss.

Only one more day.

They both texted me while I helped Mom clean up the Caravan before we went to bed.

“It has been some time since Cessie and I roamed the fair together. I hope you enjoyed time with your friends. Is everything better?” Mom handed me a pot to dry.

“With the girls, yes. With the boys, I’m so confused.”

“Are you just friends?”

“I keep trying to be. But Noah, he’s impossible to resist. What makes everything worse is the more I get to know Josh, the more I wish I had more time with him too.”

“Will they still be friends once we leave?”

“I keep telling them I’m not going to pick one and mess up their friendship. Then Noah kisses me or something. Josh goes and tells me his deep dark secrets and I want to kiss him too.” I tugged on my hair and flushed when I realized what tumbled out of my mouth to my
mom
.

“Sounds like we’re leaving just in time, before this gets any uglier.”

“I don’t think Noah does ugly. He has enough strife from his mom that he avoids it mostly. He knows I’m liking Josh more and he’s dealing with it. But then Noah kisses me like he’s hanging onto me, still trying to keep me. Which isn’t as much of a problem as it should be for me.”

“What does Josh do?”

“Noah doesn’t kiss me around Josh.”

“Do you kiss Josh?”

“I did. Only the one night and that was a mess because Noah found out. Josh kissed my cheek earlier today.” I could feel my heart squeeze with longing to be alone with Josh again. Maybe I did need to kiss him once more before I left.

“Those boys do sound like they’re pretty special, but try not to make this any messier for them before we leave.”

“Believe me, I know. They both sang these amazing songs to me at the karaoke thing tonight. They aren’t making it easy.”

Mom messed up my hair and kissed the top of my head.

“Ahh, to be sixteen again. Goodnight, my little love goddess.” Mom disappeared into her room and my mind was full of wonderful and conflicting thoughts of Noah and Josh.

My phone buzzed not long after I went to bed.

Josh: Can you help? Noah’s horse is sick. He’s freaking out.

Me: Where r u?

Josh: Horse barn.

I clutched my phone. Of course the horse barn if the horse was sick. How could I help Noah? I didn’t want to be near a horse without his help. I rolled out of bed anyway and threw on some clothes.

I shivered but ignored the chill in the air as I jogged over to the horse barn. The lack of activity was comforting. There was only one person with a horse walking in circles under the one lamppost light in the area. As I approached, I could hear Josh talking to Noah, who was far from being his usual calm and collected self.

“She’s going to be all right,” Josh said.

“She wants to lie down. I can’t keep her from doing that all night. When is the vet going to be here? If they don’t hurry, it might be too late and she’ll need to be put down,” Noah yelled.

“I’m still waiting for your mom to text me back.”

“Hey.” I shoved my hands in my pockets.

“Hi.” Josh pushed off the wall and kept texting.

“I don’t know how I can be much help.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I watched distressed Noah pace with his horse.

“I want to take over in a minute and you can help him calm down then. I’m waiting for a text from his mom on how long it will take for the vet to get here.”

“What’s wrong with Ezra?”

“He thinks she has colic which will go away soon or she might need surgery. We have no way to tell how serious it is until the vet gets here. She wants to lie down but we have to stop her from doing that. Walking seems to help I guess. I don’t know much about it.” Josh’s phone buzzed. “Your mom says it will be about a half hour.”

“Okay.” Noah’s voice tremored.

Josh reached for Ezra’s lead rope. “Let me have a turn. You need to calm down.”

“I don’t want to. I can’t sit still.”

Josh motioned for me to come over.

I drew in a deep breath. I just needed to convince Noah to move away from the horse … right next to the distressed horse. My fear had been conquered already. It wasn’t a good time to let it consume me again.

Josh stood in his way. Noah tried to push past him. “I need to keep her moving. Josh, move.”

“Let me take her,” Josh insisted.

I slipped my hand in Noah’s. “Let him take over. Come with me for a minute and rest.” I slowly pulled Noah away.

He started to brush me off until he looked at me. I held his arm gently and pulled him away again. Noah let Josh have the lead rope. We sat down together and leaned against the wall of the horse barn. He buried his face in his hands. I rubbed his shoulder gently.

“She’ll be all right, won’t she?” I took off his hat and ran my hand through his hair. He leaned a little closer to me and let his hands fall into his lap.

“I don’t know. Last year I saw someone’s horse get sick with colic here and the horse needed surgery. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t even know if my parent’s would pay for that. They’re always complaining how much horses cost.”

I rested my head on Noah’s shoulder. I lightly traced my finger around the back of his hand.

Noah squeezed my hand briefly before leaning forward to hug his knees. He rested his chin on his arms. I tickled his back. He watched Josh intently for a moment while I started to draw circles.

Josh handled Ezra well as he paced with the horse.

“Noah,” I whispered to get his attention. He turned his head slightly as I drew letters. ‘I <3 U’. I did it again. He glanced at me and managed a little smile.

“Do you?” he asked. “I told you that before and you never said it back.”

I shushed him and nodded in Josh’s direction.

Noah clenched his jaw and stared at Josh. He leaned back and pulled me until my ear was close to his mouth. “Don’t toy with me now. I’m tired and stressed. I don’t want to sit here wondering if you mean it or not. You’re probably telling me that to get my mind off my horse.” He held my arm tight so I couldn’t move away.

Josh turned Ezra and his back was to us.

“Don’t cause trouble.” I rested my chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear. “I don’t say things like that if I don’t mean them.”

Noah kissed me longingly.

“I hope that was good distraction.” I suppressed the urge to kiss him again.

“A little. How did you know to come out here?”

“Josh asked me to come help because you were upset. But do me a favor. Don’t put me on the spot in front of Josh and make me choose one of you over the other.”

“Then why did you draw what you did on my back?”

“I still mean it. I’ve never said something like that to anyone. Just don’t force me to stand in front of you both and choose. I won’t do it.”

Noah squinted at me as if he was trying to understand. He frowned before letting my arm go and he leaned back against the barn, closing his eyes. “I wish I had kept you all to myself.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I mean it.” He started to stand up but I pulled him back.

I clung to his arm, making him stay put. “Don’t. There isn’t much time left. You admitted that you’re stressed. Don’t create any more drama that will ruin the time we have left. We’ve had plenty of that this week. Josh asked me to come help
you
not him.”

Noah’s scowl eased and he stared into my eyes. His face softened before he leaned against my shoulder and held my hand again. We sat that way for a while. Noah’s body tensed as more time passed and Josh fought to keep Ezra moving.

Noah jumped up to take over.

I pressed my eyes shut and rubbed my forehead. I just drew on Noah’s back that I ‘hearted’ him. I
did
like him enough to write that. But why then of all times? Was I feeling love for him? I knew better than to fall for him. Maybe it was love for a super special friend. However, Noah was catching on about my growing affection for Josh.

When Josh sat down beside me, my chest filled with flutters. My heart raced when Josh’s shoulder touched mine. The fact that I wasn’t acting on my growing feelings for Josh was building tension in me that felt as strong as when I wanted Noah to kiss me that night. With concern and fatigue wearing on him, Josh gave me a bit of a smile. He touched my knee with the back of his finger, escalating the thrill of his presence.

“I’m so glad you came. He wouldn’t have let me help otherwise.” Josh rubbed his face. “I’m so exhausted already. It’s going to be a long night.”

I covered his hand with mine keeping it tucked between us where Noah wouldn’t see. “You’re a good friend.”

“So you’re putting me in the friend zone again?” Josh stared straight ahead.

“No, I said you’re a great friend– to Noah. You’re a pain in the butt to me.” I tried to stop smiling until Josh looked at me with his mouth wide open. “I’d like to say I’m kidding. But the more I get to know you, the more trouble I have with keeping up this whole friend thing so you really are a pain in the butt.”

“Trouble, huh? Frick. I wish I knew what I was doing right so I can keep doing it.”

“It’s when you aren’t trying at all when it works.” I scooted closer and rested my head on Josh’s shoulder. I was suddenly very tired.

The vet finally arrived. There wasn’t much Josh or I could do as Noah gave the vet a rundown on what was going on with the horse and the vet looked her over. When he was done, he said to keep doing what Noah had been doing for a little longer. The colic seemed to be easing and if it worsened, the vet would take his horse.

I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore once we heard the promising news. When Josh woke me up later, my head was on his leg. I rolled on my back and tried to focus on Josh’s face. He gently pushed my hair out of my eyes.

“Ezra is doing better. Noah’s putting her away.” Josh watched him until he disappeared around the corner. His knee slid up, lifting my head. Josh cupped my face in his hands. Before I realized what he was doing, his lips met mine. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. He kissed me one more time. He bit down on the side of his lip when he looked at me.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have surprised you like that. I didn’t think I would have another chance where I got to kiss you first.” His eyes welled with tears.

“It’s okay.” I couldn’t stop the tear that slipped out of the corner of my eye. I could feel the conflict in him, the knot of longing and regret at once. The truth was that’s how I felt. I couldn’t make up my mind what to do about it either. Running away came to mind. It wouldn’t stop the longing for both of them. Josh’s face, full of hurt and insecurity from giving me the unexpected kiss tugged at my heart. I glanced over where Noah had left and drew in a deep breath.

I kissed him tenderly the way I had been wanting to all day. When I pulled away, I was trying not to cry. “I have no clue why you guys like me so much. I’ve kissed you both tonight. I’m a terrible person to do that to you, wanting you both. It’s so wrong. If you hate each other after I’m gone because of what I’ve done, I will hate myself forever for it.” I brushed the tears off my cheeks.

“Don’t say that.” Josh hugged me tight. “You aren’t terrible. I am for not backing off. I won’t fight with Noah over it, I’ll stop bugging you, and I won’t do anything else to screw up my friendship with you or Noah.” He kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“See, this stuff makes it worse. Makes me like you more and like him more.” I stood and swallowed the lump in my throat. “This whole situation is impossible.” I sighed and tilted my head to the side. Josh’s expression tore my heart out. I closed my eyes and saw the pained look Noah gave me when he said he wanted me to himself.

“Boys suck.” I pushed Josh playfully before grabbing his shirt to reassure him I didn’t mean it and played with the buttons so I wouldn’t melt under his gaze. Melt because he was so sweet or because I was the Wicked Witch from the West. “Help me walk into the horse barn so I can tell you and Noah goodnight.”

Josh rubbed his arm and didn’t touch me at all as he led the way. I tugged on the back of his shirt and he slowed so I could walk beside him. I bumped my shoulder into his with each step we took.

“Don’t shut me out completely now.” I tried to catch his eye.

“Just give me some time. I’ll get it together tomorrow. I just spent I don’t know how long watching you sleep, thinking about how much I like you. Kissing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done because I thought you might tell me no. I had to give it a shot. I thought I was prepared for the aftermath. I’m just overtired.” Josh stuffed his hands in his pockets. “But I won’t get in the way anymore.” Josh leaned against the door to Ezra’s stall. “Is she all better?”

“Well enough.” Noah took off Ezra’s halter. “I don’t think I can sleep in the tent tonight. I’ll probably bring my sleeping bag here.”

I stood awkwardly beside Josh and kicked at the straw, not sure what to do next with tension and fatigue wearing on us all. “I’m happy your horse is going to be all right.”

“Me too.” He hooked his arm around my neck. He pulled on Josh and hooked his arm around Josh’s neck. “I needed you guys tonight. Thanks.”

They walked me to the Caravan. Noah and Josh took turns giving me a brief token hug goodnight. Reluctant to go in, I held onto the door handle to watch the two of them walk away in silence. Everything had changed.