Gypsy in Black: The Romance of Gypsy Travelers (39 page)

Nicolae
followed her out of
the wagon.  He reached out and
grabbed her arm.  As he pulled he
r around to face him, her black
skirt wrapped around his leg.
Always, he thought, always she
wears the black.  Does she consider herself in mo
urning for her
past life or present? 
“
I am a damn good husband to you, S'hara!  If you only knew how much, p
erhaps then you'd appreciate my
generosity
as far as you are concerned!
”

Nastily, she retorted,
“
You
know what they say about people
who have to boast their own praise.
”

“
Why are you so damn hurtful?
”

She tried to free her arm fro
m his hold. 
“
Hurt's all I know
from you!  Let go of my arm.
”

“
That's not true, S'h
ara.  I have given you love and
protection.  I have returned you to your people.
”

“
My people?
”
  She began t
o laugh, forgetting that he was
hurting her arm. 
“
My people?  T
hese aren't my people.  They're
all strangers.  Cold, uncaring
strangers.  I have no people.
”
 
She emphasized `people'. 
“
I
have no family either except my
daughter and that's it!
”

“
You have me.
”

Again, she laughed. 
“
Do I?
”

Softly, he said,
“
Yes.
”

She rolled her eyes toward
the sky, laughing as she said,
“
He says yes.
”
  Returning her
gaze to
Nicolae
, she sighed out of
disgust for his continual misunderstanding.  Softly,
the words
formed on her lips, 
“
You say I ha
ve you?  Where were you while I
was pregnant?  Where were you af
ter Lea was born?  When was the
last time you held me?  Made love t
o me?  I didn't have you then. 
What makes you so sure I want you now?  Now that
you decide to
crawl back to me, your hands filled with compliments
and
gifts.
”
  Sahara felt foolish as tears brim
med on the inside of her eyes.
She tried to hide them by lowering her head.

Nicolae
was quick to jum
p to his own defense as he took
advantage of Sahara's pain.
  Pulling her into his arms, he
smoothed her silky hair as he wh
ispered,
“
I never meant to hurt
you, my bori. 
‘
Tis the way of the
kumpania.  Way of the gypsies. 
I was raised that way and know only the customs.
”
  He understood
her hurt. 

The misery of the younger women
shortly after marriage
was not uncommon.  He had seen it
before.  By the time the gypsy
women had several children, they
usually welcomed the mahrime as
a time of peace.  As they grew old
er, being shunned by family and
friends bothered few. 
“
Perh
aps I was a fool for marrying a
gadjo.
”

For the first time in months,
Sahara warmed to
Nicolae
.  She was
upset and he was comforting her
the way a husband should.  You
cannot lose this man, she though
t.  As long as he is trying, he
is a good man at heart. 
“
I a
m not gadjo!
”
  She was quick to
point out her
affiliation
with
the gypsies, the people she had
hated for the past weeks. 

Nicolae
smiled as he recognize
d the change in her fight.  Was
she forgiving him? 
“
Ah, yes, my bori.  But you are no
t truly
gypsy either.  Only by blood.
”

“
Is that not good enough?
”

Nicolae
tilted her chin up so h
e could see her eyes.  Yes, the
sparkle was back.  No longer were her black opals dull and empty.  They were full of the life he
had fallen in love with so long
ago. 
Nicolae
almost held his breat
h as he dared to ask her,
“
Then
you are proud of your heritage, ye
s?
”
  A smile crossed
Nicolae
's lips
as he traced his finger down
the smooth, tanned skin on her
cheek. 
“
And you will fight the customs no more?
”

“
Fight the customs? 
I will always fight your stupid
customs.
”

Nicolae
slowly lowered his h
ead so his lips lingered inches
above hers. 
“
Will you fight me, S'hara?
”

Idiot, she thought to hersel
f.  He is tricking you into his
bed.  Rebelliously, she started to move away from
him but he
would not let her.  Her eyes met
his, hating herself for falling
fool to his words. 
“
Always, a
s if you are the customs in the
flesh.
”

His warm breath caressed her skin as he murmured,
“
I love
you, S'hara.
”

“
I hate you.
”
  But as her lips met
his, she told him
different.  Her passionate respons
e to his kiss told him the very
opposite. 
Nicolae
wished only to hear
her speak the truth with words
instead of her actions.  For the
moment, he thought, her kiss is
enough. 

When he pulled away, he stared down into her face. 
“
You are
so beautiful, S'hara.
”

A frightened laugh escaped
her throat. 
“
You will not wile
me to your bed that easily,
Rom Baro
.
”
  It felt strange to call
Nicolae
the name she
was so used ass
ociating with the nasty old man
that had been
Nicolae
's father. 

Knowing he had control of
her once again,
Nicolae
pulled her
close. 
“
It has been a long time, S'hara.
”

Desperately
she tried to deny
to herself that she wanted him
to carry her into the
tent
and ma
k
e love to her.  She wiggled in
his arms, placing her hands on hi
s chest and pushing away. 
“
And
will be even longer if you do
not let me go at once.
”
  As she
struggled in his arms, she realized
several people were watching. 
Some looked happy, as if seeing t
heir
Rom Baro
fighting with his
wife meant things were normal again. 
“
Nicolae
, please!
”

“
Not until you admit that y
ou want me, that you missed me,
S'hara.
”
  He met her surprise
d gaze with a cocky smile.  The
fight left her as she stared at
him.  
“
Admit it, S'hara, and I
will let you go.
”

His forwardness startled he
r, indeed.  But so did the fact
that she did want him and she ha
d missed him. 
“
You are sure of
yourself, aren't you?
”

“
Is the truth, yes?
”

“
And if it's not?
”

He answered her with another
kiss, holding her so tight, she
could feel how much he had
missed her. 
“
There are no ifs,
S'hara.
”
  He didn't wait for he
r response before he kissed her
again, slowly leading her back
to the
tent
. 
“
I want to make
love to my wife.
”
  He smiled teasingly. 
“
And gypsy custom says
the wife must obey her husband, y
es?
”
  He watched the color rise
to her cheeks.  She is beautiful,
yes, he thought.  And I a lucky
man to have her.  He knew th
en that she would not be apt to
forgive him so easily again for
so
le
ngthy a crime.  Never again, he
vowed as he shut the wagon doo
r behind them, will I allow the
custom to
separate
me from the woman I love.




   




Tradition held that the woman waited alone on
her wedding night for her newly-
wedded husband to finish enjoying the festivities.  There was always a lot of back slapping and teasing of the groom who, often eager to visit his bride on their wedding night, tried to play coy and aloof to the other men.  Nicolae was no exception.  He knew Miquela awaited him.  Her family had taken her back to the tent they would share when in camp.  But Nicolae stayed with his friends, partaking of rakiya and enjoying the good-natured jokes of the men in the kumpania.

Emilian watched from the shadows, seeing his brother in the center of the group.  He heard their jokes, listened to their laughter, and seethed inside.  His brother was just a boy and already wed.  Emilian was a man with no bride to be seen.  He knew that his time was past and it angered him.  He knew that his betrothed was gone but, as the eldest boy, it was he who should be married first.  Emilian glanced at the group one more time, convinced that they were too
immersed in conversation to notice his own disappearance.  He walked to the tent, listening for any voices that lingered inside.  There were none. 

I should be married tonight, he thought.  This should be my bride, he told himself.  And, with one last glance over his shoulder, he darted inside the tent and took what he felt belonged to him.

The days began to pass qui
ckly for Sahara.  No longer was
she
an outcast
and shunned from the
nightly festivities.  Instead,
she was invited, often anticip
ated at the dances.  After long
days of taking care of Lea,
Sahara gladly relinquished her
motherly duties to Duda at nig
ht.  That was when
Nicolae
insisted
Sahara sit by his side at the
fires so he could show off his
beautiful wife as he socialized w
ith the other gypsies.  All too
willingly, Sahara forgot the mo
nths of abandonment
Nicolae
had put
her through as she glowed in his
newfound
affections. 

Some nights,
Nicolae
gave Sahara
a bottle of rakiya.  These were
the nights the rest of the gypsy
encampment watched breathlessly
as Sahara
released
her reserve
and danced for the hundreds of
strange eyes.  Proudly,
Nicolae
w
ould stand nearby, watching her
protectively.  Each sway of h
er body, each movement with her
hand.  Each day as his love for S
ahara increased
, he vowed never to
allow the customs of the gypsies t
o come between them again.  And
every night after her dance,
Nicolae
would lead her back to their tent
, away from the noise and
the fires.  The rakiya in their
blood boiled as their bodies presse
d close together, joining as
one over and over again until the sun rose over the gypsy encampment.

Unknown to
Nicolae
or Sahar
a, other people had noticed the
change in their new
Rom Baro
.
  Some whispered that
Nicolae
would
truly weaken to the ravenous beauty, now
that he had total
control over the kumpania.  The
people's soft gossiping trailed
behind the two lovers wherever
they walked, sometimes hand in
hand with their heads bent close
together.  Perhaps, some said,
the kumpania would be forced to suffer much as
the Afrikaiya had
when Amaya had left so many ye
ars ago.  What if the Machwaiya
legend came true?  What if the anc
ient tale of the beautiful girl
destroying their people was not a
story but a reality that faced
each one of them?  The gossip continued as
Nicolae
and Sahara
rejoiced in their rekindled love,
unaware of the uneasiness among the gypsies
surrounding them.

But there was someone who
was very aware of the people's
disturbing thoughts.  Someone who
was interested in the
fears
of the people
. 
Each day brought more news o
f apprehension over the new
Rom Baro
's actions to
Emilian
.  His ear
s burned whenever someone broke
his mahrime to confide their a
nxiety about
Nicolae
to him.  After
all, they reasoned, wasn't
Emilian
t
he true leader of the Machwaiya
and not
Nicolae
?  As each day came t
o a close,
Emilian
seethed deeper
in his anger at his brother and deceased father. 

Every night,
Emilian
stood on
the edge of the fires, thinking
as he watched the flames burn
, the heat caressing his face. 
Certainly if
Nicolae
's people come to me for advice, doesn't that
mean they forgive me for
disgra
cing
Nicolae
's first wife?  Doesn't
that mean they accept me as their
true leader?  And wouldn't they
forgive me for mending a wrong don
e to me so many years ago?  And
every night after
Nicolae
and Sahara left,
Emilian
listened to the
people's worries and reassuring
them that the gods would never
let them down.  But the peopl
e weren't so easily persuaded. 

“
We're the shunned people of the w
orld,
”
they claimed, slowly and
unconsciously returning to
Emilian
what was rightfu
lly his by
birth: the kumpania's leadership.

“
Our
Rom Baro
is turning gadjo
because of her.  She must be the
one of the legends.  The one to
disban
d the Machwaiya.  Will we never
be at peace with the gods?
”

“
One day we will.  We must be patient.
”
  
He spoke to the men that had defected from Nicolae under cover of darkness. 

One of the men from the Afrikaiya
came forward, not afraid to speak out.  To them, Emilian was not mahrimed and, to many, he was their true leader. “Will you lead us, Emilian?  Will you take us away?  It is time to move on and the time is now.”
Several men nodded in agreement, causing the Afrikaiyan man to be even bolder. “We joined with your kumpania to be reborn and travel under the leadership of a strong Rom Baro.  Is that man you?”

I
n the back of
his mind, the wheels continued to roll and
Emilian
knew his destiny
of leading the kumpania and w
edding Sahara were still in his
future.  Not even
Nicolae
can defeat
the gods of destiny, he thought
as he hid in the shadows, watching Sahara dressed
in a gold silk
costume, dancing wildly around
a fire.  Her feet never touched
the ground as she felt the music
take control of her body.  Each
motion flowed from her heart and
soul.  The music was Sahara and
Sahara the music.  The silky cascade of black w
ater pouring down
her back swirled around as she s
pun and lifted her hands to the
heavens.  When her body finally
collapsed to the ground, every
inch of her energy was spent. 

She could dance no more
although all male eyes watching
Sahara desired more.  If only they could touch her, kiss her, love her
—just
once, they thought--
as they knew
Nicolae
would later
that evening.  If only she would
reach out and touch them in the
special way she did when
Nicolae
walke
d to her, kneeling before her. 
Her hand stretched out, brushing
his cheek as
Nicolae
took her other
hand and gently helped her to her
feet.  The dance was over. 
Nicolae
was taking Sahara away to selfis
hly
hoard
her for himself.  No
other woman dared to follow S
ahara's dance.  They lacked the
beauty and grace taught to them s
ince children, something Sahara
did not have.  Yes, they thought
, Sahara dances from her heart,
not from her head.

The men watched Sahara
leave, her cheeks flushed from
dancing.  She leaned delicately
on
Nicolae
's arm, staring up at him
with such love and dependence t
hat each man turned to his wife
and felt contempt and disgust.  Ev
ery night when they returned to
their tents and wagons, they f
ound their wives angry with the
children or too tired to make lov
e.  Never did their wives stare
up at them with complete trust and
a heart so full of emotion and
ready to burst with love.  I
nstead, the men were greeted
at their tents
by
snotty-
nosed children with ripped
clothing and dirty faces, often
with grievances of their own.  An
d the men grew envious of
Nicolae
's
loving wife.  Few remembered ho
w Sahara had fought with him in
the beginning.  Few thought of the
times she disobeyed and shamed
him by not following the custo
ms.  All they saw was their
Rom Baro
's head spinning for a gadjo-
gypsy.  And they knew it would
destroy the kumpania. 
“
You were beautiful t
onight, S'hara.
”
 
Nicolae
's fingers
entwined with hers, gently caressi
ng her hand as they walked back
to their tent. 

Sahara shut her eyes, enjoying the moment as her h
eart
pounded and her spine tingle.  Ton
ight, like so many in the past,
she could sense his passion
and it pleased her.  
Opening her eyes, she stopped
walking and stared up at him. 
Softly, she said his name. 
“
Nicolae
?
”

“
What, S'hara?
”

Blinking her eyes flirtatiou
sly, Sahara parted her lips and
said,
“
I thought I was beautiful to you every night.
”

Laughing,
Nicolae
embraced
her, holding her as tight as he
dared.  Never had he felt so alive
than these past several weeks. 
With his father gone, there wa
s no one to look over him and
threaten him.  No longer did he
have to fear being mahrimed for
loving his beautiful, ravishing wi
fe.  The baby had been born and
Sahara was no longer considered
polluted.  Now that they could
love freely again,
Nicolae
knew he co
uldn't live any other way.  He
felt so young and carefree.  No
worries, no complications.  The
kumpania seemed to have fewer prob
lems and didn't seek him out as
often as before.  Unless
Nicolae
to
ok some men out for the day, he
could spend time with his daughter and his wife.  Life had never
shown him such bliss before. 
“
You are
beautiful to me always,
S'hara.
”

Emilian
stood in the shadows, eavesdropping on the lovers.  They said no more, only disa
ppeared into their tent. 
Emilian
waited several minutes until the
lantern was blown out before
heading back to the fires where h
e planned on stirring the coals
some more.  As he passed throug
h the crowds, he could feel the
tension growing.  Yes, they sai
d, S'hara is the most beautiful
woman but
Nicolae
's devotion to her is
life threatening
. 
Emilian
smiled as he overheard these conve
rsations.  Whether the men were
truly frightened about the wellnes
s of the kumpania or envious of
Nicolae
's love for Sahara, he did no
t care.  What he did care about
was the fact they came to him for advice.

“
Emilian
,
”
one man called out u
pon recognizing the burly man. 
He waited until
Emilian
stood next
to him before saying,
“
Did you see it
tonight?  Did you see what happened?
”