[Half/Time 01] Half Upon a Time (10 page)

Jack hated him instantly.

May, who couldn’t seem to stop looking at the new boy, pointed at Jack, talking the whole time. Jack reluctantly moved close enough to hear what she was saying.

“I’m so glad I went back up there like you suggested, because the giant just yelled and out he came!” the princess said, barely breathing during her story. “I’m not really sure what happened yet, but—” And then she stopped in midsentence. “Jack!” she yelled as he reached them. May grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. “This is Phillip!” She nodded toward the purple-caped boy. The princess seemed to be almost glowing, which Jack frankly found to be a little ridiculous.

Jack stuck out his hand, but Phillip only greeted him with a nod. “Sorry … Jack, is it?” Phillip asked, not moving from his spot. “I would normally be quite glad to make your acquaintance, but I happen to be a bit preoccupied at the moment.”

“Oh, really?” Jack said, letting his ignored hand drop. “And what is it that you’re doing, exactly?”

Phillip nodded up to the giant above him. “Well, presently I am slaying this monster here.” He winked at May, who smiled widely at him.

Jack raised an eyebrow. “I … huh?” he said again.

“He’s
slaying
the
monster
, Jack,” May repeated unhelpfully.

Jack looked from Phillip to the giant and back. “Oh, well, of course,” he said. “Any idiot can see that that’s exactly what you’re doing. Need any help slaying the giant?”

As soon as the words left Jack’s mouth, the giant let out an enormous roar, louder than when Jack had stabbed his tongue. Suddenly, the monster’s legs began to wobble back and forth, the tremors growing more and more violent until the giant completely lost his balance. Arms windmilling around and around, the immense creature toppled forward, collapsing toward the forest floor.

It felt like the giant took forever to fall, but in reality, it was
slightly
shorter than that. It did take a few seconds before the top of the giant hit the ground, and a few seconds after that for the ground to rise like a wave in the ocean and come rushing straight for them.

“Look out!” Jack shouted, grabbing May’s hand and running toward the nearest tree. He hoped to get them to higher ground, but there was no time: The ground wave curled up under them and tossed them both through the air as if they were rag dolls.

Jack landed hard, but not as hard as May did when she crashed down right on top of him. As Jack struggled to breathe he took little comfort in the fact that the princess seemed to have escaped harm by landing on him.

Clearly, someone somewhere had it in for him.

As Jack sucked in air the new boy pulled the princess off him.
Phillip then offered Jack an outstretched hand and a wry smile. “I do not believe I will need help with the giant after all,” Phillip said. “But perhaps you could use some?”

Jack grunted and reluctantly took Phillip’s hand. The boy had a surprisingly strong grip. Of course he did.

“Is the giant …?” May said, glancing over at the fallen monster.

“Slain?” Phillip asked. “Oh yes, quite.”

“Okay, but how?” Jack said, wiping his dirt-covered hands on his pants. For some reason, that didn’t seem to help at all, mostly because his pants, his tunic, and every other part of him was completely covered in dirt and dust from the ground’s tidal wave. Glancing over at Phillip, Jack wasn’t at all surprised to see that the boy’s white tunic and golden pants weren’t even smudged. Of course they weren’t.

“Quite simple, my friend,” Phillip said in answer to Jack’s question. “Before you and your delightful friend here happened along, I had hunted the large fellow, following him for days. I finally caught up to him here, and he, of course, tried to devour me. Before he could catch me, however, I challenged him to a series of contests to see which of us was the more powerful. I won each contest—mostly by tricking him, I must admit—then I
convinced him that I could turn myself to stone, standing unmoving for a longer period than he could. He tried to do the same, but I knew he could not do so as long as I could.”

“You … made him fall over by making him … stand still?” Jack asked, trying to wrap his head around the idea. His head just didn’t seem to stretch that far, though.

“When fighting giants, young Jack, you must know your enemy,” Phillip said. “I know, for example, that a giant’s body cannot support itself when standing for long periods of time. Given his extreme size, a giant’s bones simply cannot hold his own massive weight, not without equal hours of rest. I also know that giants view humans as their inferiors, and therefore this one would not let himself be beaten by me. In effect, all I had to do was defeat him several times to force him to move beyond his natural limits in an effort to humiliate me. His stubbornness was the true cause of his death here, as much as I might like to take the credit.”

“So he just tired himself out and fell over?” May said. Jack was glad to see that she was beginning to question Phillip’s story, too.

The prince nodded. “In essence. The bones in his legs could no longer support his enormous size. A fall from such a height
tends to jumble what little brains they have, killing the monsters. I knew that the creature must topple sooner or later, and fortunately for my own legs,” he said, smiling wryly, “it was sooner.”

“How long did it take?” Jack asked, not able to contain his curiosity despite his already intense dislike for Phillip.

Phillip looked up to the sky, as if he had to think about it. “Hmm,” he said. “Not longer than four or five days, I would say.”

“Four or five
days
?!” May said.

Phillip shook his head. “Killing giants is not for the easily fatigued, my friends.”

“Or anyone with a real job,” Jack said.

Phillip’s face clouded a bit. “Pardon me?” he said.

“I asked why were you hunting it,” Jack said.

Phillip’s face grew solemn. “That is my quest. I hunt down the few remaining giants in our lands, ever since my father was killed by one.”

May stepped over to Jack, her eyes on fire. “Right, his father!” she said to him. “Didn’t I tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Jack asked.

Phillip smiled politely, then stepped away to a corner of the clearing where a large purple bag waited. He sat down and reached into the bag, then pulled out some bread and began
eating it. Jack noticed that Phillip bit into it far too politely for someone who hadn’t eaten for five days.

“Phillip’s father won a
kingdom
for himself by killing giants!” May whispered to Jack. “Can you imagine? Supposedly, his dad took down seven giants with one hit or something. How crazy is that!”

“Okay, his dad killed giants. So?” Jack said, knowing where this was going but not willing to help it get there.

“Don’t you get it?” May whispered, a smile spreading over her entire face. “If his dad was a king, that means Phillip is a
prince
!”

“Jack,” Phillip called to him, politely waiting until his mouth was clear to speak. “I quite forgot to mention something. While I was slaying the giant, a bag that I would hazard a guess to be yours fell from the sky and landed right at my feet, if you can believe such a thing.” At that, he held up Jack’s grandfather’s bag.

Jack nodded, not able to contain a dirty look. “Right,” he said. “Sorry about that. I couldn’t hold on to it while falling to my death. How completely rude of me. May I have it back?”

“Of course,” the prince said, tossing the bag over to Jack. The bag landed perfectly in Jack’s hands, then dropped to the ground when Jack fumbled it.

May laughed. “Nice catch,” she said.

“I’ve had a rough day,” he replied moodily, grabbing the broomstick and stuffing it into the infinitely large bag.

“Not many men could live through a giant swallowing them, Princess,” Phillip said, as he carefully chose a piece of fruit from his sack. “You have my respect, young Jack.”

“Princess?” Jack whispered to her. “So you’re only denying that to peasants now, huh?”

She actually blushed at that. “Okay,” she whispered back, “I know it’s stupid and ridiculous and all, but come
on
. You have to give me this. He’s a real live
prince
! And besides, like you said, if Snow White’s my grandmother, then I’m sort of royalty too, right?”

“Of course,” Jack said, “but …” Suddenly he froze, his eyes widening. “May, you didn’t tell that idiot about your
grandmother
, did you?!”

She snorted. “I’m not stupid. I know I’m supposed to keep everything a secret. No, I just told him that I’ve got some royalty in the family. And quit judging me, I know I’m a poseur!” She smiled at that like it was a joke.

“I’m assuming that doesn’t mean what I think it does,” Jack said, his eyes narrowed to slits as he watched the prince daintily
break off another piece of bread. “This guy just irritates me. So he slays giants … who doesn’t?”

May started to say something snarky in reply, then stopped and looked at Jack closely. “Jack,” she said, “are you … you
are
, you’re jealous!” She seemed shocked.

He managed to pull up an equally shocked look. “Jealous? Of what, a prince?! You must have hit your head. Royals are completely self-absorbed and make life a nightmare for the rest of us. Have I been unclear about how much I dislike them?”

May gave him a suspicious look. “Then you’d be okay if Phillip and I go it alone from here? After all, if I’ve got a prince who can slay giants to help me, that’s all I need, right?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Maybe … if you want to die horribly. Trust me, I’m not letting the two of you handle what’s probably the most important rescue in history.”

May smiled that little half smile that Jack was beginning to despise. “Whatever you say,
hero
,” she said, then twirled around and lightly ran over to Phillip, waving her hands delicately at her sides. She spun around when she reached the prince, curtsied to Jack, then sat down and stuck out her tongue.

Jack never hated her more.

Gradually, he forced himself to walk over to the two of them.
“So,” he said to Phillip, “it’s good that the giant fell forward, eh? Otherwise, he might have landed on us. You know, killing us all.
That
might have been bad, huh?”

The prince waited until he was done chewing as Jack tapped his foot impatiently. “No, he would not have fallen on us,” the prince said finally. “I
do
know what I am doing, after all. But you are quite right: If he had landed on us, it might have ended badly.”

“Yes, quite right,” May said, imitating the prince. “We might have been crushed into little gooey pancakes, which very well could have ruined tea.”

“Do you mock me, Princess?” the prince asked with a raised eyebrow and a gentle smile.

“Why would I do that when you’re doing so well on your own?” the princess replied sweetly.

Jack eyed them both, then sat down between them. “I’m pretty sure there’s enough mocking going on for everyone,” he said. “Let’s all just scoot over and make some room here, all right?”

May started to respond, but something behind him caught her attention. “Hey, um, Jack?” she asked as she stared at whatever-it-was.

He glared at her. “What, Your Highness?”

“So … where’d you get the sword?”

Jack threw a look over his shoulder. There, plain as day, was the hilt of the knight’s sword, sitting securely in the scabbard strapped to Jack’s shoulder.

“What sword?” Jack asked.

The princess stared at him. “Are we really going to play that game?”

Jack frowned. “
That
sword? I got it inside the giant.”

One of her eyebrows raised. “Of course you did,” she said. “I take it there was a shop just behind his teeth, then?”

Jack stared pointedly at the ground in front of him. “Not exactly,” he said. “I just found it. It probably got stuck in there, you know, in the giant’s mouth … when he ate someone.”

“That is
quite
a sword, young Jack,” the prince said, leaning back to examine it. “In fact, it looks almost familiar….”

Jack gritted his teeth. “How old are you?” he asked Phillip.

“Pardon me?” the prince said, leaning forward again.

“How
old
are you?!” Jack repeated.

“I am fifteen years old,” the prince replied.

“Then you’re not much older than me, Your
Highness
,” Jack growled. “Can you try
not
calling me ‘young Jack’?”

The prince looked surprised. “I meant no offense, my friend!”

Jack started to protest the “friend” part too, but May reached over and put a hand on his arm to calm him. He swallowed his comment and glared at them both.

“So how did you two find yourselves here?” the prince asked, apparently oblivious to the hostility emanating from Jack.

“We’re on our way to the Black Forest,” May said, before Jack could elbow her to keep quiet. He elbowed her anyway, so she elbowed him back, a lot harder than necessary.

“The Black Forest?” Phillip asked, a look of concern crossing his face. “That’s hardly the place for a princess!”

“It’s a secret quest,” Jack said dismissively. “We can’t really talk about it.”

“We’re looking for my grandmother,” May said.

Jack dropped his head into his hands. “What part of ‘secret quest’ were you not clear on?!”

“
Whose
grandmother is it?”

Jack threw her a dirty look.

“Exactly,” May said, then turned back to Phillip. “My grandmother was kidnapped from my … my castle. I was taken too, but I escaped, and here we are. She told me to go to the Black Forest to find help, so that’s where we’re going.”

“A worthy quest!” Phillip said, his eyes burning with passion. “For such a goal, I cannot help but offer my full assistance.” The prince paused, his eyes sparkling. “That is, if you’ll have me.”

“Oh, we’ve already got too much assistance as it is—,” Jack started to say, but May quickly interrupted him.

“Of course we could use your help!” she said. “Jack seems to have forgotten about the enormous guy chasing us.” She smiled sweetly at Jack, which just made things worse, then turned back to the prince. “Besides, you seem pretty useful, your prince-itude.”