Hallowed Ground (31 page)

Luke gave a low whistle. “Good luck with that one,” he said with a little hand pat. “Catch me up later?”

“You bet,” I agreed, and then started up the path toward Dr. Trimble. He waved me on, and I followed just over the ridge, where his trailer sat out of the sight of tourists.

“Have a seat,” he said with a smile and pulled a bottle of water out of his cooler. “You’ve been working very hard.”

I took the bottle and opened it. “Thank you. I love the work I’m doing.”

“Well, it shows.” He leaned back in his chair, studying me as I sipped the water. “You applied to the doctorial program for anthropology?”

I swallowed carefully, immediately nauseous. “Yes, sir, I did.”

“You were accepted.” He handed over a sealed envelope.

A shaky laugh stuttered my breath as I opened the envelope.
Dear Ms. Howard, we are delighted to inform you…

I’d gotten in. I closed my eyes and clutched the letter to my chest.
I made it, Josh. I’ll be a PhD. Dr. Walker.
A small shred of my happiness flew away. The only person I wanted to tell was anything but accessible. “Thank you,” I said to Dr. Trimble, knowing full well it was his letter of recommendation and this program that had secured my acceptance.

“You did the work, Ms. Howard. I’ve never been happier to recommend a student. Your efforts here have been excellent, and I think you’ll make a fantastic anthropologist.”

“This trip has been a dream, and I can’t thank you enough for inviting me.”

“Are you ready to go home?” He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the desk.

“Yes and no. I’ll miss everything about this place, especially the work, but I’m happy to get home to see my fiancé. He should be redeploying right about when I get there.”

He sighed. “Did you know that we were able to secure permission to continue the dig on a smaller scale for another two months?”

My eyes widened. “No. I thought the setup was on pause until next year.”

“It was until a couple of days ago. I’ve also been given permission to keep a percentage of my staff.”

Luke would be thrilled if he got to stay.
“Good. That will give you time to finish the terrace house excavation.”

“Yes. Of course it would go faster if you were the one to head that part of the dig.”

I swallowed. “Sir?”

“Reed has to go home. You’re young, and it’s not like I’d let you just run roughshod. I’d officially be the lead, but you’d be leading point. No one knows that excavation site better than you, and I’m not just talking about the room you’ve been uncovering.”

“I know it exceptionally well,” I admitted. While the other dig members had taken their free time in Izmir, or visited the leather markets, I’d spent every second exploring, making sure this trip was etched into every crevice of my memory.

“Yes. So I understand that you probably need to go home next week…”

I nodded, my eyes focused out his window—toward Josh. “Yes.” What would he say? He’d probably tell me to take it, and then, for an extra rush, volunteer to go join some special ops team while I was gone.
You know he needs a few more years under his belt for that. Chill out.
“I do need to go home and see him. And my friend’s baby is due tomorrow.”

“Why don’t you see if you can take off a few days early? Really think it over? Since you’d be listed as a team head, we can compensate you not only for the job itself, but for the return flight as well. I’d love to have you back, but of course it wouldn’t affect your position in the program come January. There’s always next summer, right?”

I blinked. Next summer. This could be what my future looked like—spending the school year teaching, writing, and the summers on archeological digs.
It’s everything you’ve wanted.

But Josh. What was it worth without Josh?

Nothing.

I at least needed to see him before I said yes, to make sure we’d be okay for another couple of months. Because saying no was insane, right? It was a hell of a line for my resume, and I’d be home before Christmas.

“I’ll think about it,” I promised.

I cringed over the change fee to my airline ticket, but made it. One packed bag and two days later, Luke took me to the airport, already having agreed to stay for the remainder of the dig. “You sure you only want to take one bag?” he asked as we walked toward the terminal.

I nodded. “I’ll be back for the rest.”

His grin was instant. “I knew this place would get into your blood. I’m glad you’re staying with me!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you in a few weeks?”

He hugged me tight. “Please, for the love of all that is holy and good, bring real coffee creamer.”

I laughed and promised to do so, then boarded my flight. Frankfurt, Philadelphia, and finally Nashville…fourteen hours later, I was stateside. Exhausted, but stateside. I fired up my cell phone as soon as we taxied. “It’s nice to be home,” I whispered as my signal picked up.

I skipped the thousand Facebook notifications, the Twitter updates, and the Instagram feed, going straight for Paisley’s number.

“Ember?” she answered, out of breath. “Do you have service over there now?”

“I’m actually in Nashville!” I exclaimed, something in my soul righting at the sound of her voice. We’d docked the plane, and now people were milling about the cabin, waiting their turn to disembark.

“You are? Jagger! She’s in Nashville!”

“What?” his voice was muffled in the background.

“How?” she asked.

“I came home a few days early. I was offered the chance to run my portion of the dig site for the next couple of months, but I wanted to come home first and think it over.”

“That’s amazing! I can’t wait to see you. Do you think you can get here pretty soon?” she asked.

“As soon as I get off the plane, I’ll rent a car and head home.” Finally my turn, I grabbed my backpack from the overhead bin and walked toward the front of the plane. Excitement lit my nerve endings. I’d get to sleep in my own bed tonight. Make dinner in a full kitchen.
Yes! You can get Starbucks!

“I meant the hospital. If you’re not too busy, I’m kind of in labor.”

My jaw dropped. “Oh my God. Yes! Yes! I’ll be there as soon as I can!” I broke into a run as soon as my feet hit the Jetway.

I heard Jagger mutter something in the background. “I absolutely will not ask her that, Jagger Bateman.”

Another muffled response.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“There’s something else,” she said before I heard the phone change hands.

“Ember?” Jagger’s voice filled the line.

“Congrats, Daddy,” I said, my voice uneven as I sprinted through the terminal.

“Yeah, this is amazing. But listen, I need a favor.”

“Anything.” I bypassed the Starbucks by the security entrance and headed for the rental car desk.

“Yeah, I was kind of supposed to be somewhere in about an hour and forty-five minutes, and I need you to fill in.”

“Done. Where am I going?” I asked as I slid past people on the escalator.

“Josh is coming home today. I need you to pick him up.”

My feet failed me, and I tripped over the end of the escalator, sprawling on the floor in a graceless heap that was more metaphor than painful.

“Ember?”

I stumbled, maintaining my hold on the phone. “Yeah. Yeah, I got this.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Hell no. Not even close.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Ember

My hands shook as I killed the car engine in the hangar parking lot. 8:25 p.m.
Thank you God, I made it in time.
Twenty minutes until the ceremony was scheduled to start, and I was a hot mess. I shoved a few bobby pins in my hair, trying to put it into some kind of style that didn’t immediately say I’d been traveling for sixteen hours.

Of course this is the way it would happen. I lifted my neckline to my nose and sniffed. Oh. My. God.

I twisted and pulled my bag through the gap in the front seats. I looked around to make sure no one was watching, and then risked an indecent exposure, changing into a clean tank top and semi-wrinkled button-down. The shorts would have to stay. There was zero chance of me stripping down to that level in the parking lot.

Unless Josh wants—

Nope. Not going there.

I gave myself a once-over in the mirror, popped on a coat of mascara and some lip gloss, and declared myself done. Without a shower and a straight-iron, this was as good as I was getting.

The stands were full as I walked into the hangar. I passed the little girls in red-white-and-blue tutus, and the little boys in camo outfits as they danced to the band, making my way up the bleachers until I found an empty seat near the top.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and I swiped it to answer when I saw Mom’s picture. “Mom?”

“Hey, honey! I’m so sorry I didn’t answer earlier. I was in my yoga class. Where are you?”

There was something about hearing her voice that crumbled my composure. “I’m at Fort Campbell. I came home a couple of days early, and now Paisley is in labor, and I’m here picking up Josh.”

“Well, that sounds like quite the homecoming for both of you,” she said. I plugged my other ear, trying to hear her better.

I looked around at all the other women in their carefully chosen outfits, their glittery signs, and perfectly done hair. “Mom, I don’t have anything for him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I came straight from the airport. I don’t have a sign, or my hair done, and I’ve been in the same panties since Turkey!”

A few heads snapped in my direction, and I glared them down.

“Ember.”

“This isn’t how it was supposed to be. I was going to have the house perfect, and his Jeep detailed, and a big sparkly, funny sign. My makeup was going to be done, and my legs definitely shaved, and a cute outfit, too. Instead I’ve been traveling for almost sixteen hours, I don’t really know where our relationship stands, and I don’t have anything!” Oh God, I was going to be sick.

“Do you have arms?”

“What?” I damn near shouted. “Yes, I have arms.”

“Then open them. That’s all he needs.”

“Mom. It’s so much more complicated than that.”

“It’s not. December, nothing in the army is perfect. No amount of planning can make a homecoming perfect, and nothing will go as planned. He’s not going to care about any of those details you’re stressed over. He’s only going to care that you’re sitting in those bleachers ready to welcome him home. You are his perfect homecoming.”

“What if he doesn’t want me here?” Giving voice to my worst fear zapped some of my last caffeine-generated energy, and my shoulders drooped.

“He does.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because that boy—that man—he loves you in a way that a deployment doesn’t kill. I know you have a lot to discuss, and I’m not suggesting you forget the way he left, but don’t give up, either, Ember. You and I have the same taste in hardheaded men, so you hold on tight with both hands and fight like hell. And Ember…”

“Yeah?”

“Remember every single thing about this moment. There’s nothing like it.”

The crowd came to their feet with a deafening roar as the hangar doors opened. “I love you, Mom,” I yelled into the phone above the noise.

“I love you, baby. Go get your man.”

We hung up as more than two hundred soldiers marched in through both open hangar doors. The air electrified. My heart slammed against my ribs, and my head started to spin. There were too many emotions fighting for supremacy—my excitement at seeing him, my anger over the way he’d left, my confusion over where we stood—but they were all eclipsed by the stark relief of knowing he’d made it home alive. Tears stung my eyes, as if my body simply couldn’t contain my feelings and needed the outlet.

They came to a stop, and my eyes raked over the lines of soldiers as the Commanding General welcomed the troops home. I didn’t have to look far.

Josh stood at attention in the first row, faced forward. Butterflies attacked my stomach, and everything lower clenched. He was gorgeous. My soul screamed out for his as if it were an actual physical being, desperate to fly forward and get him into my arms. He looked tired and worn but accomplished—haggard but whole, yet empty all at the same time.

I kept locked on to him as the general dismissed the troops and the stands emptied in a rush to the hangar floor. Then I carefully walked down, telling my rebellious body that I couldn’t simply fling myself into his arms. He looked side to side as he walked forward, no doubt searching for Jagger, until he’d reached the bottom of the stands just before I did.

“Josh.” His name came out in a breathless whisper.

His eyes met mine, his jaw dropping slightly. “Ember?”

I took the final step, until I was on the first bleacher, just at his eye-height. “Hi.”

“How…? You’re not supposed to be back for a few more days.”

There was no regret in that tone, right? Damn it, I wanted to throw my arms around his neck. I wanted to kiss him stupid, and then smack him hard for what he’d done to me. I wanted
us
, complicated futures and all. “I came home early, like you, I guess.”
Moron, he knows that.
“Are you mad?”

“Hell no,” he said, his gaze darting to my lips.

He still wants you.

Unable to control my hand, I cupped the side of his cheek, thrilling at the scratch of his stubble against my palm. A giant sigh of relief escaped me, and my eyes slid shut. When I opened them, he was staring at me with a cross between want and trepidation. “Can I hug you? I mean, I don’t know what we’re—”

My words were muffled into his shoulder as he pulled me off the bleachers and into his arms. One of his hands wrapped around my back while the other tangled into my hair, pulling my pins loose. His scent enveloped me, and I tilted my head to nudge my nose against his neck, breathing in home. Nothing ever felt as good, as right as when he held me.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he muttered against my hair.

That reminded me… “Jagger—” I shook my head and pulled back from the safety of Josh’s warmth, trying to remember the important stuff. “Paisley is in labor. He sent me.”

Josh straightened immediately. “I’ll get my bag, and let’s go.”

He took my hand and led me through the crowd to where their bags had been lined up. Two heavy bags later, we were marching to the car. I clicked the unlock button, and the taillights on the SUV I’d rented flashed.

“Uh. New car?” he asked, loading his bags into the back after the hatch raised.

“No,” I said. “I rented it at the airport.”

“When?”

“Oh, a couple of hours ago when I landed.” I scrunched my nose. “I’m sorry I’m not more dressed up. I kind of traveled halfway around the world today.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I’d be a hypocrite if I minded, since we’re in the same situation.”

“Right,” I said with an awkward head nod. We stared at each other for a few seconds, our eyes speaking volumes that our lips couldn’t yet say. Then I thrust the keys in his direction. “Think you can keep it at the speed limit?”

He gave me a cocky grin that sent heat spiraling through me. As if my body had sensed his nearness, my sex-drive clicked on, more than ready to make up for lost time and pretty damn uncaring that our relationship was in a gray area.
Down girl.

“Let’s go meet Mini-Bateman,” he said and walked me around to my side. He opened the door for me and I climbed in, but before I could pull on the seat belt, he reached across and clicked it in himself like I was twenty again. “I like you safe,” he murmured against my forehead as he slid out of the car to get behind the wheel. My chest tightened and fought my need to kiss the hell out of him.

He was true to his word and kept it at the speed limit as we made our way to the hospital. My hand felt naked without being able to take his, so I gripped the edge of my seat instead. We exchanged sideways glances, until the heavy awkwardness was too much for me. Since when did we ever act like this around each other?

“How are you?” I asked.

His grip shifted on the wheel, his knuckles whitening. “Okay. Better, I guess, in some areas.” His eyes cut toward me. “Worse in others. What about you?”

“You hit the nail on the head,” I said softly.

We pulled into the hospital parking lot, and Josh parked the car. Neither of us said a word as we walked inside the massive building and headed for the maternity ward. The magnetic pull between us was almost too much for me to take as we rode the elevator. Each floor that lit on the display seemed to metaphor my level of need for him.
We’re at a four. Nope, make that a five, edging toward six, seven…
God, I was about to become a movie cliché and jump him against the wall.

Would that be so bad?

The doors dinged open, saving me from the potential embarrassment of a rejection. This was definitely new territory. Even when we’d started dating, I’d never really been afraid of Josh rejecting me. He’d always been so open, honest with his feelings and his intent when it came to me.

“Paisley Bateman?” I asked the desk nurse.

“Room 804,” she said after checking the board behind her. “But she’s pushing, so there’s a waiting room at the end of the hall, there.”

Holy cow. Any minute now they would be parents. Josh and I walked, nearly touching but not quite, our steps evenly matched. “I still can’t believe they’re having a baby,” I said.

“Yeah. Most days I feel like we’re still in college, arguing over who’s ordering the keg, and now he’s a dad.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the grin on Josh’s face. His smile lit him up in a way that had always drawn me to him. “True,” I said. “And I honestly never thought Jagger would be first, you know?”

He looked over at me, radiating an intensity that stole my breath. “I always figured we would be.”

“Me, too,” I confessed in a whisper as we came to a standstill in the middle of the hallway. The moment we stood there, held together by nothing more than our eyes, seemed like an eternity. The long nights I’d spent in Ephesus, staring up at the brilliant stars, wondering if he was looking, too, or if he was safe, all came rushing back with a feeling of such longing that my heart leaped into my throat.

“December?” he asked softly, concern softening his face.

“This is hard,” I admitted.

“What is?” His voice dropped as he stepped forward slightly, until I had to crane my neck to keep eye contact.

“Standing here, within inches of you, aching to kiss you, and not knowing if I’m even allowed to. Not knowing what we are.”

His jaw flexed and he looked away, fighting a battle I couldn’t see. Then he glanced over my shoulder, sidestepped, and walked right past me, grabbing my hand to pull me behind him. He opened the door to the stairwell, and I stumbled through after him. “Josh, what are we doing?”

He pushed my back against the brick wall, cradling my head in his hand, and then took my mouth.
Yes, yes, YES.
He felt like heaven and tasted like…Josh. Home. I rose up on my toes, kissing him back with two months of pent-up want, anger, and love. His lips moved perfectly against mine, our tongues intertwined, my body arching naturally toward his.

This was Josh, the man I loved, the only person I wanted to spend my life kissing. His hand moved from my waist to my ass, lifting me against the wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my ankles behind him, and rolled my hips into him.

“God, I fucking missed you. Every second of every day.” His voice was low, gravelly, and so incredibly sexy. He trailed kisses down my neck until I gasped. Then I lifted his head back to mine so I could kiss him again. I sucked on his lower lip, gently tugging it between my teeth, and he groaned.

I didn’t care that we were in the stairwell of a hospital, my body was screaming for him, need vibrating through every one of my nerve endings. “Josh,” I moaned softly when his hand rose to cup my breast over my shirt.

The door beside us opened.

He dropped his hand and rested his forehead against my shoulder, sucking in deep breaths as two nurses walked past, the door shielding us from their vision as they headed down the stairs.

I tried to calm my racing pulse, but Josh slowly lowered my feet to the floor, rubbing that delicious body against mine, and my breath hitched again. He stepped back, running a hand over his hair, his eyes darting back to my mouth.

My tongue skimmed my lower lip, and he closed his eyes with a low rumble from his throat. “We should go sit in the waiting room, and…you know.”

“Wait?” I supplied.

He nodded and took my hand in his without another word, walking us back into the hall and down to the waiting room. We were the only ones there, and he took the loveseat, tugging me down next to him. He wrapped his arm around me, and my head settled in the pocket of his shoulder, where it fit perfectly because we fit perfectly. We always had.

I nearly dislocated my jaw with a yawn. “I’m sorry. I’m just so tired.”

“Sleep,” he ordered, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “And December?”

“Hmm?” I asked, his heartbeat already lulling me to give in to the bone-deep exhaustion that traveling and jetlag was wreaking on me.

“You can always kiss me. I don’t care if we’re in the middle of an insane fight, or in a house full of priests. There is never a moment I don’t want you.”

With another kiss on my forehead, I drifted off, only to be awoken what felt like moments later.

“Wake up, welcome home, and come meet my son!” Jagger beamed, standing above us with the biggest grin I’d ever seen.