Hannah Howell (21 page)

Antonie could sense that Patricia wanted her to clarify that ambiguous statement, so she hurriedly changed the subject. It was not too difficult to do, for Patricia was in love and looking forward to being married. All Antonie had to do was mention Oro and Patricia forgot whatever else she had been talking about.

She was relieved when Patricia left to get dressed for dinner, however. The girl was far from stupid and would soon see that she had been cleverly diverted. Antonie was glad their time alone was ended before she had revealed her intentions.

Smiling as her bathwater arrived, Antonie tried to pretend that she was well accustomed to such service and to taking two baths in one day. She knew the women of Royal Bancroft's world would be. Unfortunately, such moments made her all too sharply aware of the difference between herself and those women. That took away a great deal of the pleasure of being waited on.

As she relaxed in her bath, easing the stiffness of standing in place so long for the dressmaker, she tried not to think about such things. It was a time to enjoy, not mope or worry. They had come through the drive nearly unscathed. Royal now had the money he needed to further thwart the plots of the one who tried to ruin him. That was cause for celebration and she was going to act accordingly. She certainly did not want anyone to think she was anything less than delighted over Royal's success, if for no other reason than they might start asking the same awkward questions Patricia had.

Most everyone seemed to accept that she was Royal's lover, no more, no less. No one seemed to fault her for that and, if they thought she would become anything more or that she ought to do so, they kept that opinion to themselves. That was just how she liked it and how she wanted it to stay. She knew that the moment she ceased to be content and accepting of that position, some well-meaning people would start to meddle, eager to set things right. That was the very last thing she wanted, for it was the sort of thing that caused more trouble than it cured.

When she had made the decision to become Royal Bancroft's lover, she had known of the risk involved. She had known that she would be taking a chance at being hurt, that she was not the sort of woman a man like Royal looked at as wife material. People accepted her as Royal's lover because they also saw that that was all a woman of her background could be to such a man. She only had herself to blame for the fact that more than her passion was now at risk. It simply made the gamble she was taking a greater one. She and Royal could love each other or they could hurt each other. No one and nothing could alter that, she told herself firmly as she dried herself.

However, Antonie found that she could not fully stop herself from nourishing some elaborate plans to change the course of things. She hated to think of leaving Royal. She hated even more the thought that when she came to visit Oro, as she fully intended to do from time to time, she would have to see Royal with his new woman, perhaps even a wife and children.

She sighed as she set out the clothes she would wear to dinner. Once she had started on the road of loving Royal she had known that she would have to walk it to the end. Antonie just wished that there was happiness at the end, not pain. She had already had a taste of what it was like to be without Royal and did not like it at all. It was hard to accept that soon she might feel that pain for years to come instead of for just a few months.

For a brief while, she had contemplated staying aloof from him. His attitude and accusations concerning Oro had hurt. Somehow it seemed weak to simply fall back into his arms as if the past weeks had never occurred.

But weak was what she fully intended to be. She had already lost weeks of her precious, fleeting time with Royal. It seemed stupid to lose more just to make a point. He knew he had been wrong. That was enough.

Looking at the finery laid out on her bed, she grimaced. If he took Charlotte as his lover, Antonie knew that that would put an end to it. It would no longer be a matter of getting him to voice an apology. She would be his lover willingly, but to take him back into her arms after he had been with another woman would, in her mind, make her no better than a whore. She would lose all respect for herself and, she suspected, what little he had for her.

Squaring her shoulders, she decided she would not be set aside without a fight. Charlotte Dumfrey would not find it so easy to walk away with the prize. Antonie intended to make Royal fully aware that he made a final choice when he crawled into bed tonight. If he reached for Charlotte Dumfrey he would do it knowing that he would not reach for Antonie Neumann Ramirez on the morrow.

Royal greeted the Dumfreys in the lobby and wished fervently that he had made some excuse to forego the evening. Charlotte was lovely, charming, and elegant but, at that moment, he was not the slightest bit interested. His mind was fully on a little blond who could probably outdraw him. He had no intention of doing anything with Charlotte, for he knew it would mean a complete end to what he had with Antonie.

“They're a little late,” he grumbled when there was no sign of Antonie, Oro, Patricia, Tomás, and Justin.

“Want me to go and see what's keeping them?” Cole offered.

“No never mind. Let's go in and have a drink. They'll be along and they know where to find us. Strange though. Antonie's usually very punctual."

“She is dining with us?” Charlotte asked in barely hidden dismay.

“She and the twins,” Royal answered curtly as they took their seats at the table.

Royal began to wonder if it was a mistake to let Antonie join them. This was not a style of life she was accustomed to. It could well turn out to be a painfully embarrassing interlude for her and that was the last thing he wanted.

Looking at how the Dumfrey sisters were dressed, he nearly winced. As far as he knew, the only dress Antonie possessed was the one she had worn at the fiesta. She had looked lovely in it, but it was not much more than a Mexican peasant's Sunday best. Even he could see how out of place it would be in the elegant dining room with the ladies in their satins, silks, and lace. He hoped that when she had gone shopping with Patricia she had bought a suitable dress.

His mind settled on what would happen when the Dumfreys left. He knew what he intended and that was to get Antonie into bed and begin to make up for lost time. The question was whether she would let him.

Although he detested the thought, he could not ignore the fact that they had been estranged for a while. For all he knew, that fire she had so enjoyed could have cooled. In a way, he
had
insulted her by insinuating that she had lied. Royal knew that to Antonie's way of thinking, that was probably one of the very worst insults he could have ever given her.

There was the problem of how much of an apology he would have to deliver. He did not think he should make a very large one, for she
had
been playing games. If he had erred by what he had thought, she had been wrong in not giving him a fuller explanation for her actions. In a way, she had insulted him by thinking him too prejudiced and narrow-minded to understand.

Sighing mentally, he acknowledged that he might well have taken the news of a budding romance between Oro and Patricia adversely. He liked the younger man but had foreseen a far different mate for his little sister. Until he had had his eyes opened to how much each of them was hurting, he would have viewed a match between them as unsuitable. It was a little disconcerting that Antonie could read him better than he could read himself. He was plainly not as free of prejudice as he had thought.

Suddenly he wondered if those prejudices were prompting his current concern for Antonie. What did it matter if she was not dressed in satin and lace? She looked lovely in her peasant dress. She also had beauty, grace, intelligence, and wit. He felt a little ashamed over worrying if she could hold her own against the Dumfrey sisters or would embarrass herself and him.

Turning to look at Charlotte in answer to her less than subtle bids for his attention, Royal was a little surprised. Charlotte Dumfrey had been one of the women he had considered as a possible wife. He should have felt slightly embarrassed about being so caught up with another woman, risking offending Charlotte so that she would refuse any courtship overtures he might decide to make, yet he was not. Smiling politely, he exchanged courteous inconsequential chitchat and continued to wonder what was keeping Antonie.

When the knock came at her door, Antonie swore with relief. She quickly let Oro, Tomás, Patricia, and Justin in. Patricia looked at Antonie, who was dressed only in a miniscule camisole and lacy pantaloons, and sighed. Antonie almost smiled, for she knew the girl would probably never understand her feeling that she was adequately covered in such attire. It was Antonie's opinion that if you were not naked you were decent. The three young men sat on her bed, grinned at her, and helped themselves to the wine. She just hoped they would save a little for her.

“You three look very fine,” Antonie said as she surveyed the young men's finery.

“It won't do them any good if you don't hurry and get dressed. What's taking you so long?” Patricia asked.

“You look very fine, too, Pattie. I did not know there was so much to put on. What is this?” She held up a corset.

“A corset,” Patricia snapped, trying unsuccessfully not to blush. “I don't think you need it anyway. Put on your petticoats."

The three gentlemen watched in unhidden amusement as Patricia helped Antonie to get dressed, but Antonie was too annoyed to be bothered by it. She kept up a running complaint about the fussiness and multitude of clothing. When she was finally seated by an exasperated but amused Patricia, who was clearly not sure of how to style Antonie's thick mass of hair, Antonie was more than ready for the glass of wine Tomás served her.

“Simple, I think. A very simple style,” Patricia mumbled to herself as she brushed out Antonie's hair. “Do you have any jewelry?"

"Sí
but it is not very rich.” She looked at Patricia's pearls. “Not like yours."

“Oh. I thought maybe Juan,” she blushed and faltered to a stop before she could finish.

“Stole some for me?” Antonie asked with a grin. “No. He and Manuel bought us everything. The money was stolen, this is true, but what we have was bought. Tomás, can you get me my things from my bag? They might not suit."

When Tomás set the earrings, necklace, ring, and bracelet on the table, Patricia gasped and murmured her appreciation. They were intricate works of turquoise and silver. Antonie was pleased that Patricia thought they were pretty.

“They will do beautifully. There,” she stepped back from Antonie and surveyed her handiwork, “what do you think?"

“It is neat,” Antonie ventured as she studied the thick chignon while Patricia put the necklace on her. “Will it fall down?"

“I hope not. It suits you, Antonie. Truly,” Patricia soothed as Antonie put on the rest of her jewelry.

After putting on her shoes, Antonie went to view herself in the mirror. “I do not look very much like me."

“You look lovely,” Justin said with indisputable conviction.

“Maybe, but I do not look like Antonie. Maybe this was not such a good idea. This is not what I am."

Handing Antonie her lacy white shawl, Patricia said, “What nonsense. How can it not be what you are? That is you."

“This can be me if I want it to be,
sí.
I can play at being the fine lady, but not always. If this is what Royal is seeking then I am not for him. I could not play this game all the time."

“You can be anything you want, Antonie,” Patricia said. “A little practice and this would stop being a game."

Antonie looked at her friend. “No. I would play it easier, but it would still be a game. I have watched the ladies and I know I could not always be like them. A lady does not talk of the stock or the men's business. She does not shoot or wear pants to ride as one should, astride. She does not admit to liking her man's kisses. There is a lot she does not do. I would feel choked. I could not be happy like this. To make Royal think so is to lie, and lies are always revealed."

Oro stood up, put his arm around Antonie, and touched a kiss to her cheek. “To try to be what you are not is bad. You are right,
querida.
So, you will be Antonie dressed in her finest and showing her best manners, but still Antonie, eh?"

That sounded eminently reasonable to Antonie. She would also show Royal that she could look as fine as any lady and that she would not shame him in public. However, if he desired fluttering fans and giggles, then he could have that but not from her. She would not be false to herself, not even for Royal.

She was glad of the cheerful company as the five of them made their way to the hotel dining room. Although she held firm to her decision, she could not help but worry that the real Antonie was not what Royal wanted. She feared the pain his rejection would bring her. When she saw Cole and Royal with the other women, her courage faltered as did her steps, but Tomás firmly pulled her along.

“Jesus,” Cole breathed as he caught sight of Antonie, but then his gaze moved to Royal, not wanting to miss his brother's reactions.

Lifting his glass to his lips, Royal idly glanced toward the doorway. His whole body froze at the sight of Antonie. Occasionally he had wondered how she would look if she was all dressed up, but his imaginings had not come anywhere near the truth.

The deep mauve color of her dress accentuated her fair coloring. Her lovely slim neck was fully exposed by her hairstyle and the low cut of her gown. Many a male eye was drawn to her slim figure, lingering on the full breasts that swelled gently above the neckline and cushioned the unusual necklace she wore. Her dark escort, Tomás, was a perfect foil for her beauty.

Noticing the stunned look on Royal's face before he struggled to hide it, Antonie felt nervous, for she was not sure how to interpret it. She smiled when she noticed the narrowing eyes of the ladies, however. It could mean that they had seen the competition and were displeased. She thought the Dumfrey sisters were insurpassable in their beauty and elegance, but hoped that now she could at least give them a good run for their money.