Hannah massey (29 page)

that's why she came back. I would have done the same in her case; in fact I've been doing it for years. Even when I knew there'd be a row as soon as I put my nose in the door, I had to go home every now and again. Rosie will never survive on her own. and I don't like to think what she will come to if she's left on her own . you know what I mean, don't you? "

Hughie made no answer but started to walk about the room again, until Dennis asked, "Is there much more to do to the caravan?"

"I don't know." Hughie paused in his walk.

"Old Jim's in bed, I hear... I... I think I'll take a dander over now and see how far he's got."

Dennis nodded at him.

"Do that," he said.

"And if he's not up to it I would get somebody else to finish it. The funeral's on Wednesday ... I'd get away before then if you can."

"Aw, but..." Hughie turned, his hand out, protesting, towards Dennis, and Dennis making the same gesture back said, "No aw buts. Go on, man, and get that bit settled; and who knows but the rest will fall into place."

Rosie became fully awake by seven o'clock on the Sunday evening. She was shuddered into awareness by a voice echoing down a long corridor.

It was her mother's voice and she was running away from it. Her

shuddering moved the muscles of her face, and the pain brought her hand up sharply to her head. She opened her eyes as wide as she could and saw Hughie sitting by her side.

"I've ... I've had ... an awful dream, Hughie."

"You're awake now; you're all right, Rosie." He took hold of her hand and smoothed it gently.

"I thought... I thought for a moment she ... she was dead." Like Dennis, she hadn't said "me ma" The words came through the misshaped mouth in a whisper.

"It... it was a terrible dream."

Hughie's hand had become still, and with it his whole body, while his pores opened and he began to sweat; and now he said, his voice shaking just the slightest, "Don't let it worry you, it... it was just a dream.... How are you feeling?"

She looked at him, then made a small movement with her head.

"Awful, Hughie," she said.

"Awful. My mouth's so sore."

"That's the stitches," he said.

"You'll feel better soon."

"Will you stay with me, Hughie?"

"As long as you want, Rosie."

And he stayed with her until an hour later when, after another dose of tablets, she went to sleep again. On the Monday when Florence asked her if she would like to get up for a while she seemed a little taken aback, for she felt she hadn't the power to move, but with an effort she sat up in a chair.

But on the Tuesday morning she got up and dressed, putting on once again her blood-stained suit. But she did not leave the bedroom. Now she could move her lips a little but the whole of her face felt more painful than ever, and when she caught sight of it in the mirror it was impossible for her to believe that she was looking at herself. She stared at the black, blue and yellow contorted mass, at the shapeless lips and the black gap where her teeth had been, and she said, "Oh God!

Oh God! How could she." Yet hadn't she always known that her mother was capable of all kinds of cruelty? That was why her lavish

generosity towards her had always frightened her. Her mother's giving had been a kind of insurance which one day she expected to pay off in such a way that the name of Hannah Massey would be enhanced.

If she had come home and told her she was going to have a baby she would have gone mad, but it would have been a controlled madness, for she would have arranged for her to go away until. the disgrace was over. And she would have comforted herself with the thought that "her poor innocent child was took down" Looking back now, Rosie knew that if she had told her mother the real truth Hannah might have wanted to kill her;

and she would, without doubt, have told her to get out, but still she would have kept everything under control. The men would have known nothing about it. And when she didn't come home again Hannah would have declared to her family, "Well, that's daughters for you. You bring them up on the best and then they do well for themselves and don't want to know you."

But the unforgivable thing in her mother's eyes wa^ that her sin had been made public. She had destroyed her, she had said, meaning that she had blown up the ivory tower of eight Bramp- ton Hill.

Florence came into the room now and Rosie, looking at her through the mirror, asked pitifully, "What am I going to do, Florence?"

Florence put her arms about her, saying, "In a few weeks itTI be back to normal. The doctor says there won't be any marks,

the split was inside your lip. Don't cry, my dear, don't cry. You're more than welcome to stay with us, you know you are. But. but. "

As she floundered, the sound of a door opening caused her to exclaim,

"If that's Hughie I'll just slip out for a bit of shopping and get back before Dennis comes in. Will you be all right, dear?" She bent over her.

"Yes, Florence, thanks."

"Now don't cry, everything will be all right, you'll see."

When Florence reached the kitchen Hughie was standing warning his hands over the boiler. He turned at her approach and asked quickly, "How is she?"

"She's up." Florence shook her head.

"She was at the mirror and I thought she was going to pass out; she's upset. And who wouldn't be?

How did you find things? "

"Oh fine; the fellow will be finished the night. Everything's ready, I can start anytime."

"I, Hughie?" Florence repeated.

"Not we?"

Hughie rubbed his hands over the top of the boiler.

"I haven't got the nerve, Florence, and that's the truth."

"But you want to help her, Hughie, don't you?"

"Of course; but there's other ways than asking her to come with me, when ... when she's at this low ebb."

"It's the best thing that could happen to you both, Hughie." Florence was standing close to him.

"You could make her happy, I know you could. And she could make a different man of you. Not" --she put out her hand and touched him"--not that I want you any different, but you know what I mean, Hughie. Inside, you'd feel different, self-assured.... No more

timidity."

"Oh, I know fine well all about that part of it, Florence." He drew his breath in.

"But it seems like taking advantage of her...."

"Aw!" Florence gripped his arm and shook him.

"You make me wild, Hughie.... Well anyway, go on in with her now. I'm going out to do a bit of shopping."

"Oh, I'll run you there.... Look." He drew her to the kitchen window and pointed.

"I called at the garage and picked it up. Everything's in shape." He pointed towards the Land- Rover out on the road, and Florence said,

"Good, good. But the shop isn't ten minutes away."

"But you might slip, it's all slushy."

"I never slip. Have I slipped yet? Go on." she pushed him and hissed at him, "And do something."

A few minutes later Hughie nervously knocked on the bedroom door, but when he entered the room and saw Rosie sitting by the bed his face brightened, and he said cheerily, "Well, that's more like it... how do you feel?" Then without waiting for her answer he went on, "You're bound to feel mouldy for some time but you're up, that's something."

When he sat down opposite her she looked at him for a moment before saying, "It's Tuesday to-day, isn't it, and you were going

yesterday."

"Oh, things weren't quite ready. Old Jim Cullen had rheumatism and couldn't finish the caravan." He smiled.

"You won't be going then ... not yet awhile?"

"Well" --he dropped his head to one side and looked towards the floor"--everything's ready now. There wasn't really much to do, and Jim didn't mind me getting another fellow to finish it. The roads are still a bit slushy but I've just got to drive the lot to the airport.

I've decided to have it taken to the other side by air ferry. Amazing to be able to do that, isn't it? " He lifted his head and glanced at her as if to confirm that she agreed with him on the wonders of

aviation.

She was staring fixedly at him through the swollen narrow slits of her eyes.

"When are you going?" she asked.

"Well... well..." He had his hands joined and was rubbing the palms together.

"Well I could leave to-morrow, but you've got to give a little notice for the plane and things, you know." He nodded at her.

"I'm going to phone the night; I just may be lucky and get a

booking."

"I'm ... I'm going to miss you, Hughie."

He did not say, "I'll miss you, too," but said in a small voice, "Will you, Rosie?"

She remained very still, just looking at him. And he returned her gaze as he said, "Well... well you know, there's... there's an alternative, Rosie. You needn't miss me." Now his head jerked and his voice had a nervous gabbling sound as he rushed on, "I'm no good at this, I'll put it all wrong. The whole thing is, I... I don't want to take advantage of you, but it isn't the day or yesterday that I've wanted ... well...

Oh, Rosie...." He Closed his eyes, then shading them with his hand he murmured, "I want you to come with me... but only for a time, until you're better and on your feet again. I... I won't make any

Y

claim on you, don't think that, or. or think you will marry me or

anything like that. You can be just as free as you are now, but if you came with me you would. " He stopped when he felt her hands on his, and as he gripped them he rose to his feet, saying, " You would, Rosie?

" There was awe in his tone.

For answer she moved her head in the direction of his arm as if

searching for some place to rest it.

He had held her for only a second when the front door bell rang, and his body stiffened before he whispered, "Let them ring." As he pressed her gently to him the bell rang again, and he looked down into her face now and said, "It couldn't be Dennis has forgotten his key, it's too early for him. Anyway, the back door's open. When the bell rang for the third time he smiled at her, saying, " I'd better see. " But before he moved away he brought his eyes on a level with hers, and looking into them, he said softly, " Aw, Rosie," and the words were like a passionate endearment.

He didn't hurry out of the room, but walked as he felt, in a relaxed fashion. He was warm inside, glowing as with joy. He had never

experienced joy before. Then as he crossed the hall to the front door the kitchen door opened and he was confronted by Broderick.

If the devil had risen up out of the floor he couldn't have been more startled, not only because of the unexpectedness of Broderick's

presence at this particular moment in the house, but also at his

changed appearance, for he was not looking at the spritely, virile man of sixty-two but at an old, stooped, haggard man, with pain-filled eyes.

"Anybody in?"

"No. Well, I mean Florence has gone out shopping, Broderick, and ...

and Dennis isn't back yet from school." He pushed past the older man, drawing him back into the kitchen, saying, "I'll make you a cup of tea, you look cold. Sit down, Broderick. I won't be a minute."

Broderick came and stood by the table.

"Don't make any tea for me," he said; and then he asked, "Is Rosie here, Hughie?"

Hughic had been half-turned towards the sink, and now he swung round and asked, "What makes you think that, Broderick?"

"Oh, just something' that Dennis let slip last night when him and Jimmy were going at it. Jimmy was blaming her for Hannah's ... mishap," he did not say death, "and Denilis then told him the rights of the case.

An' when it was told, well, it wasn't like Ronnie MacFarlane had made out; and we... the others saw that, but Jimmy kept on and then

Dennis... well, Dennis said that Hannah had done her best to take Rosie along of her by ... by beatin' her up ... I couldn't, I wouldn't

believe it, not at first, 'cos, well, she loved her... she ... she thought the sun shone out of her." His head was moving slowly from side to side. now and he muttered something to himself that was

inaudible to Hughie. Then looking at him again, he said, "Dennis says she's gone back to London."

"Aye, yes, that's right, Broderick, she... she went back to London."

"She went back knowing her mother was dead and to be buried the morrow?"

"She didn't know, Broderick, she was in a bad way. The doctor said it was best not to tell her, it might affect her."

"But she'll have to know sometime, better sooner than later."

"The doctor didn't see it like that, Broderick." Hughie's voice was soft.

"He... he agreed... I mean said, it might affect her mentally if she was to know... all her life, you. And... and..."

"Then she might never know because she'll never come back." Broderick pulled in his lower lip between his teeth.

"She Was more sinned against than sinning as I sec now. I'm not one of those that is blamin' her for Hannah's going; there's many things that helped towards Hannah's going. She was a strange woman was Hannah."

He nodded his head.

"A strange woman, but a fine woman; a strong woman, but strange. Me life's finished without her, the pin's gone."

"It's early days yet, Broderick."

As Hughie finished speaking the sound of soft footsteps in the hall made him start towards the door, but before he reached it Rosie pushed it slowly open and Broderick gaped at the figure for a full minute before realization came to him, and then he lifted his hand and covered his face.

"I... I thought I heard your voice, Da." The words were uneven and thick as if they had their shape coming over her lips.

"I thought you might go without... without..." She didn't finish because Hughie's voice cut in, saying, "I'm sorry, Broderick, I... I thought it best."

Broderick took his hand from his face but kept his head lowered as he moved forward, and as his hands groped for hers,

he muttered brokenly, "Aw, lass. Aw, lass." 1> "Oh, Da."

"Your face .." your poor face. Aw, my God, lass. "

"Don't worry. Da, it's all right, it'll... it'll get better." But even as she said this she didn't believe it ever would get better. At least not so that she would be able to recognize herself as she once was. But through the trembling hand that held hers she realized that her father was in need of comfort much more than herself at this